Sly Bald Guys Forum
New Member Section => Introductions => Topic started by: Elessar [[Sly]] on August 25, 2008, 03:55:57 PM
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... I'm knew to the forum (as you can obviously tell). Despite having Sly in my username I am not currently bald thats a nickname thats been derived from my real name since I was at school/college (Sly/Si short for Simon) and has become a habbit of putting in my user in many forums I do appologise if anyone is offended.
I have a personal dilema and although in the end only I can make the choice I still wish to hear other peoples opinions because I really am quite stuck. I am 19 and approaching my 20th birthday in a few months and have been balding since about the age of 15/16 although wasn't till about late last year that it started to become rather obvious. I currently wear a hat other than when I sleep (and alot of people here will probably suggest loosing the hat and going bald). The thing is I hang around with alot of people who have long hair and some that spend ages doing stuff with their hair (although I've never really been into the latter at all!). I currently have hair that is breast length but is receded at the sides and top quite far almost to the back of the top of my head. BUT none of my friends or family have caught on (not to my knowlage - apart from gf obviously but even she isn't aware of how bad it actually is because I have long hair up until recently I've been able manipulate it enough so hasn't looked too bad. But like many (again probably many people on here) I'm finding it hard to get the courage to get my first shave. And If I did I think I'd want it all off because of the top and sides being bald. I'm trying to push the notion to my mates, gf, and family that I'm just gonna shave it all off for a laugh (again they know nothing of my baldness to my knowlage) and most are against etc. Ontop of all this I'm Bi Polar and emotions all over the place alot. I'm not using that as an excuse but that greatly reduces my confidence and want to do anything (and probo a contributor to the fact I'm balding so much).
I get sudden rushes of **** it I should just do it and try get on with life. But I know it wont be easy for me and will take a long time to ajust. I've read ALOT on this forum(s) in the last few hours and I REALLY feel abit better for reading some of it. You're such a great online community its really cool :)
I've looked at the younger comments about ajusting and similar problems as I have and some of the more experienced among you that have spoken openly about your experiences and feelings. Its really interesting stuff I didn't realize the time till I was pulled away from the screen by a phone call lol.
I think If had more support It wouldn't be so hard ajusting. Alot of the problem I'm facing with it is for me quite a drastic change. Not the fact I'm overly obsessed with vanity or anything but theres other parts of me that are struggling with the whole concept that I'm sure most of you already have assumed and would understand having gone through similar things yourselves. Things like being a youngish age (although I do know its quite common in younger males to), gf being less attracted to me, and many others, etc. (and I know I'm only young and if she really loves you it doesn't matter etc. I dont really need to hear stuff like that because I know that deep down and well I'm thinking about 'taking the plunge' as it were so I've thought VERY long and VERY hard about it to the point of being ill... ) But I'm not looking for too much sympathy I just need to get more courage to go and get it done. Its getting to the point where I can't get another job because I can't not wear the hat in public anymore... I wanna say enough is enough... its just not happening =\
I appologise I do not mean to moan but atm I have no where else to turn. I'd like to become a proper member of this community I think in time it'll help me take the step that needs taking.
(another strange thing is I'm in several popular local bands and i'm used to getting on stage and performing infront of a large audience I have been doing that for many years from a younger age. Perhaps thats part of it maybe I'm fighting the change too much... I want it to feel natural if that makes sense)
Any thoughts? very much appreciated :)
Sly x
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(https://www.slybaldguys.com/smf/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fapi.ning.com%2Ffiles%2FYGxMkz9VmsogYOXxguqAU205-kovnfF9ekU1i0yntLMtm7Itb0VBGeWbU%2AKwMwGl4dpiKbbVvM9vWCvvrXqdQWXT79G%2ADFG9%2FJustDoItv3.jpg&hash=b0b192501fa7cb9b24adf475c2a0ac0b87eba677)
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Thanks for the intro, Elessar. My case is similar to yours; always wore a hat in high school/college because of balding. In fact, I will still wear a hat when I know I'm going to see friends from my past, which is a hurdle that i'm ready to get over. For some reason, I feel like I can ease them into the idea of me being bald, when the best method is just to wear it proudly, which this site is so great about encouraging.
The truth is, you're looks are not that important to other people. What is noticeable to them, is the confidence you portray. If you are happy with yourself, other people's opinions will not affect you, and lets face it, everybody has their opinions.
Shaving your head at this age because of MPB is taking a stand. Just think, you could be the first one in your group to take a stand. The longer you wait, the sooner someone else you know will be going through the same thing; they won't have any friends to talk to (just like you did), and they will eventually be the ones taking that stand. The point is, you have an oppurtunity to break open the next phase in your life, and be that guy - the guy who doesn't operate superficially, but goes balls to the wall. It will inspire others, and it will feel good.
From your intro, I see that you're familiar with most of the responses you're going to get from us, and it's just the courage you seek to get it done. So I'd just say - hold your breath, and do it. Don't look back, and don't waste another day.
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Casey Jones said it best. Welcome!
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Welcome Bro!!!
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Hey Sly, welcome to SBG!
Casey said it best because until you do it, you won't really understand why we think you should just do it!
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Hello Si, this is my first post here, reading what you wrote inspired me to post since I went through very similar emotions. I'm not feeling very articulate but hope I can write something half decent :) I think I might be a little like you in that I am quite sensitive to others and my emotions tend to be all over the place.
Anyway I discovered I was losing my hair in my late teens and like a lot of people here I felt it was the end of the world. I'm now in my early 20s. About 6 months ago, after a lot of soul searching and reading sites like this I began to accept the idea of hair loss and to worry a lot less about it as I now felt I had a decent solution; to shave it all off! However I was still very anxious about taking the final step. Like you I tried to run the idea by family members and friends in the hope their replies might raise my confidence to do it, but got negative responses from every one of them.
So after months of fence sitting I had a long break from university and decided this would be the best time, especially as I was still worrying about it and I didn't want it to affect my life any more. Once I had decided I had to have it done right away it still took two weeks of a great deal of an anxiety and putting it off 'til the next day. I finally got the courage and went to the barbers. Even as I was sat there waiting I thought, I'm going to chicken out, especially as it was busy and had an hours wait! So I was sat in the chair, had a big mop of hair on me head, the barber asked what I wanted doing and seemed to think I was a little mad once I told him I wanted it shaving on zero :) So he did the deed and shaved it on zero. Once it was done I instantly got positive comments from the barber and other people waiting, which raised my confidence, although I was already feeling pretty confident for some reason.
Now to the part I was most worried about, my close family's reaction. There was palpable shock at first, especially from my sister who seemed to stare at my head open mouthed for about 5 seconds. After the initial shock I got positive responses from all of them. It seems many people don't like the notion of head shaving, that to try and convince them before hand will ultimately be in vain. It's something you just have to go ahead and do, then show them in order to get their acceptance. As for other people, you might be surprised at how a lot of people actually don't care. I've seen a few friends from uni since, in some instances despite having a head just shaved on zero, I'm the one who has had to steer the conversation in the direction of my hair. Many have even said they haven't even noticed I was balding; it's true what they say that we magnify our own problems a 100 fold.
Obviously if you feel that you have to wear a hat much of the time it is already affecting your life a great deal. And as you say you are young, these aren't emotions you should be experiencing at your age. If you're already feeling a lot of anxiety about losing your hair I can't imagine how shaving it will make the problem any worse. The only thing you have to overcome is the initial head shave and the resulting shock from your family. A day basically, and hopefully after that you should begin to feel more confidence. As for your close friends with long hair, hmm I know it is difficult, especially as at a young age we're at such a vain stage in our lives. As I say you might be surprised at how much other people don't care. I actually got a buzz from the idea that I was doing something so unique from them, something that took a lot of courage. Of course if they're half decent friends they like you for your personality, not how you look.
Oh, don't forget to give it the 30 day trial before making any decisions.
Anyway, I guess this also serves as my introduction to the board, and I hope it helps a little. Please post back with your thoughts and how you get on. :)
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shave it clean when ready and only when ready!
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shave it clean when ready and only when ready!
Good advice, Marty
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Welcome to SBG!
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Well all i can say is if you want a confidence booster...the only way to get it is to just shave it. Listen to what advice the others have already told you. I dont think anyone in this forum would steer you wrong. If that were the case...this forum wouldnt be as popular as it is...right? Just Do IT!
Have you ever thought that wearing a hat to bed maybe part of your hair loss? Too many guys put thought into the "WHAT IF" Well you will never get your answer just sitting there thinking What If?
Hope we have helped you some.
Timmay
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Hi Elessar, welcome to the forum :)
I don't suppose your name 'Elessar' has anything to do with The Lord of the Rings?
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Also, welcome to imb...
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Welcome Elessar and imb. Great to have you join us. That was a great intro and post imb and great info for you Elessar. As the others have said, just do it. You will never know the freedom from worry any other way.
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Have you ever thought that wearing a hat to bed maybe part of your hair loss?
I wear a hat other than when I go to bed. And yes its very true that just doing it will be the best approach. I think I best just gather the rest of my thoughts then go and do it.
And yes Elessar (or Elf Stone) is to do with The Lord of The Rings, Magmababe =)
And thanks for the big welcome people and the support
x
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Have you ever thought that wearing a hat to bed maybe part of your hair loss?
I wear a hat other than when I go to bed. And yes its very true that just doing it will be the best approach. I think I best just gather the rest of my thoughts then go and do it.
And yes Elessar (or Elf Stone) is to do with The Lord of The Rings, Magmababe =)
And thanks for the big welcome people and the support
x
Sorry I misread your post...I thought you said you even wear a hat to bed. Wearing hats all the time does cause hairloss.
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Hey Elesar,
I have been in your boat too in the past. I started losing my hair when I was in my late teens. I am 29 now and have virtually no hair on top at all.
3 years ago I was in Budapest with my current girlfriend. I was standing in front of the hotel mirror with electric clippers and just turned to her and said what would you think if I went all the way? After she had contained her excitement after realising i meant shaving my head and not a night of unbridled passion, she pretty much said, I have told you for ages that when you shave it so short it looks like you have no hair anyway.
So I did it. Wouldnt say i liked it straight away, I wouldnt say i like it all the time now. I wouldnt say that there arent moments it doesnt play on my mind. But i sure am certain that I prefer what i have now to what nature's alternative is. No guy ever who has appeared on here looks worse sly than balding. That is not to say that some wouldnt look better with a full head of hair, who knows? Most of the guys on here i have only ever known with a completely shaved head (magma excluded of course, but obviously she has sly legs so gets in through clause 2.3.2 in the Sly constitution).
Like you I used to wear a hat a lot. Funny thing was that more people asked me why on earth i was wearing a hat all the time compared to how many people comment on me shaving my head. There are loads of bald people in the world, I have an office with currently 8 men in it and about 10 women. Of those 8 men, my head is shaved, one guy is completely bald on top and trims really short, one older guy is completely bald on to and two others are noticeably in the early stages of balding, where i was about 7 years ago. Three of those guys, inclusding myself for another 5 days are under 30.
I dont want this to come across as self righteous at all because honestly, I have moments of extreme depression about the fact that my hair and self esteem disappeared down the same drain. But in honesty, when you take a step back and look at it, rationalise and think rationally, it is a bit ridiculous! I know it is easy to say but it is! I often ask myself when I am feeling down, if I ever looked negatively upon a bald guy when I had hair - the fact is, I didnt notice. I think back to TV shows i used to watch, people i used to know and it never ever, not once, not for a single moment caused me to think, omg look how bald he is!
I do think however that going sly breeds an alternative response, it, in most breeds a respect that you are dealing with it head on if you pardon the pun, that you really arent bothered (although you may be inside).
So my advice from someone who is not entirely comfortable yet with the sly look is do it, try it, try to enjoy it and if all else fails consider living with it, as it really is the best option on the table when you look at it rationally.
Chris
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Welcome imb and Elessar!
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Hey Argyle thanks I can relate alot to what you put (in here and something I just read in another thread).
sorry might be abit OT for this particular thread but when I do shave it off any general clue to how long it'll take for the rest of my head to become relatively close to the colour of my face?
Thanks much appreciated
x
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For me it was almost straight away but that is probably because i live in England where a tan is something you only see in the movies!
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For me it was almost straight away but that is probably because i live in England where a tan is something you only see in the movies!
haha cool. And I'm PALE like a Vamp lol
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For me it was almost straight away but that is probably because i live in England where a tan is something you only see in the movies!
speak for yaself pastey! :px
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I've been sly for two weeks today and there's a definite contrast. I got super tan two weeks before i shaved though as i went on a big camping trip with not much more than a sleeping bag, let alone sunscreen. I think it's kind of cool though. As it's summer i'm hitting up the 45 SPF sunblock for my outdoor activities and a 15 SPF cream for everyday use, so it's staying pretty pasty.
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I've been sly for two weeks today and there's a definite contrast. I got super tan two weeks before i shaved though as i went on a big camping trip with not much more than a sleeping bag, let alone sunscreen. I think it's kind of cool though. As it's summer i'm hitting up the 45 SPF sunblock for my outdoor activities and a 15 SPF cream for everyday use, so it's staying pretty pasty.
Good way to approach it bro..
slow and steady...don't want to f things up with a burn or worse...... cancer....
Anyways what's the hurry to even things up...you're gonna be a "Lifer-sly guy".
..arent ya? ;) O0
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I've been sly for two weeks today and there's a definite contrast. I got super tan two weeks before i shaved though as i went on a big camping trip with not much more than a sleeping bag, let alone sunscreen. I think it's kind of cool though. As it's summer i'm hitting up the 45 SPF sunblock for my outdoor activities and a 15 SPF cream for everyday use, so it's staying pretty pasty.
Good way to approach it bro..
slow and steady...don't want to f things up with a burn or worse...... cancer....
Anyways what's the hurry to even things up...you're gonna be a "Lifer-sly guy".
..arent ya? ;) O0
Looking at dude's avatar pic, i can't imagine sly's forehead is much diferrent from the scalp.
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I've been sly for two weeks today and there's a definite contrast. I got super tan two weeks before i shaved though as i went on a big camping trip with not much more than a sleeping bag, let alone sunscreen. I think it's kind of cool though. As it's summer i'm hitting up the 45 SPF sunblock for my outdoor activities and a 15 SPF cream for everyday use, so it's staying pretty pasty.
Good way to approach it bro..
slow and steady...don't want to f things up with a burn or worse...... cancer....
Anyways what's the hurry to even things up...you're gonna be a "Lifer-sly guy".
..arent ya? ;) O0
Looking at dude's avatar pic, i can't imagine sly's forehead is much diferrent from the scalp.
Yea...and all of the "pastiness" sounds tame compared to my first sly days..
my wife to this day refers to it as the time when my head was blue..
and in pics I actually agree...
I guess it was the shadow trying to beam through my newly scraped skin!
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For me it was almost straight away but that is probably because i live in England where a tan is something you only see in the movies!
haha cool. And I'm PALE like a Vamp lol
Hey elessar welcome.
Use jergens natural glow for faces for a few days. You will get a tan on your head in no time. skip the fair skin one..go for medium with the spf 20.
For me I always like to have a little color...even in the winter and this stuff is cheap and it works. I just use it as a moisturizer.
As far as shaving your head....just do it. Not to a 2 or a 1...shave it all. Your hair is never growing back and wearing a hat all the time sucks. I have my own fair share of hats and I have not worn any of them since I shaved my head. I do have one hat I like to wear backwards but thats more a fashion thing than a "im covering my baldness thing".. just do it man. I wish I would have shaved 10 years ago...would have saved myself a lot of angst.
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Welcome aboard Elessar !!
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DJ Bald -- way cool avatar, dude.
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elessar: welcome 2 the sly fraternity. U won't regret your decision when U decide 2 shave your noggin'. matter of fact... U will B thanking us 4 your new look. until then... keep us posted 2 your road 2 slyness. O0
WARHAWK O0
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elessar and imb: welcome to SBG to you both!
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DJ Bald -- way cool avatar, dude.
Agreed! O0 O0 O0
Very smooth bald head brutha!
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Welcome to the neighborhood brothers O0
Elessar I used to be a long hair myself, It was down just above my beltline, but when I realized I was losing it I came to the conclusion that I wasn't going to be a prisonor of a hat and if I can't have it all then I don't want any of it.
Dude just go for it, what do you have to lose....nothing, but you can gain alot of confidence with the freedom that comes with it
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Nomad: U got a pic of u with long hair? That would be fascinating......
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Nomad: U got a pic of u with long hair? That would be fascinating......
I think all the evidence got burned :*))
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down to your beltline...dang I would have liked to have seen something that scary.
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Welcome to SBG's Elessar. I think you should try buzzing it down first to let yourself get used to how it feels. From there it will just be a matter of time before you get the urge to take it all off.
Do it at your own pace, when you feel ready, as Marty said.
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DJ Bald -- way cool avatar, dude.
Agreed! O0 O0 O0
Very smooth bald head brutha!
Thanks dudes. I think that was like the day of my first shave when your head truly feels like a babies butt !
Ahhh.....bald memories. ::)
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Elessar...first let me be the 9 or 99th person to welcome you here........I would like to say that the relief that you will get after you shave the dome is comparable to having a very heavy weight lifted off your chest. I was balding at a very early age like yourself and stressed over it greatly.........once I shaved the head and adjusted to the feel and look, I have never looked back.
Aww the FREEDOM
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down to your beltline...dang I would have liked to have seen something that scary.
Everyone remembers the big hair 80's, right Rob?
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I just looked at the date of the last post - almost a year it would seem! Although I have been back and forth on the forums. I haven't shaved my head yet. BUT! I will be doing it sometime this week. It's about time I did 'the deed'. I'm just fed up with it. Change is good. Life has been up and down since my last post. I broke up with previous mentioned gf - GOOD THING - especially considering the crap I had to put up with. My current gf is a massive support and wants me to shave it off. So I am! nothing like a bit of inspiration to lighten the heart (and love without sounding too cheesey - Ahem- anyway...)
I have purchased a Mach 3, Head slick, Head Lube, Head Shed, and headblade Daily Cleanser. I am still not 100% how to use them in terms of amount per shave etc. I have a general idea of how to go about shaving it off properly and maintaining a healthy scalp. I have actually shaved part of it off already. It was a random urge, but I was confident enough and now want to shave the rest. I really dont know why I didn't do it all in one go but I seem obsessed with the 'patch' I shaved. All the tools for the job set me back a pretty penny especially considering I dont currently have a job. Although planning to get one after I've shaved it all off.
Question, does anyone use a styptic pen/pencil on head cuts?
Oh and I'm going away for a weekend soon and wondered how long the headblade travel pack would last. I gather that it'd probably be longer than that being a 'travel pack' but I am just interested.
Thanks
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I use a styptic pencil when ever I nick the dome they work great.