Sly Bald Guys Forum
Various Non-Bald Discussions => General Discussion => Topic started by: william on July 30, 2008, 06:58:33 AM
-
Some of you are probably tired of reading my crap, and I apologize to those of you that feels tired about it. It's not my meaning to fill all the boards with my thoughts and crap but I want you to get a perspective of me. And mostly because it seems easier to talk about it here than anywhere else *you don't know me, I don't know you*. Also because we all have this hair thing in common.
I will try to tell about my problems in a larger view, why I'm this stalker. Why I still don't know myself, can't be anyone, I got mixed feelings about everything, I lie a lot about myself. I have almost forgot the kid I once were, even though I must forget him, I can't. I feel that I will never grow up or get anywhere.
I'm very very suspicious towards everything, when I go out/seeing my friend/when he calls me/go to the gym/shopping. I don't want anyone to see me when I go out, I'm hiding but everyone can see me. If I get eye contact with anyone, it feels like I have to go away from that person right away. I'm always afraid of seeing someone that I know when I'm outside my place.
The thing is, I spend so much time thinking about myself, others, even what kind of answers I will get from you guys, what will your response be. I can answer my questions but I can't because I know, I don't know myself and no one else know whom I'm.
I like being alone even though it's not good for me. It's the only time I'm not scared, I can be myself and think about myself. But it's not helping very much, I can feel that nobody will understand me if I find the one I'm. I think that people will just laugh at me, and say that I'm strange. Saying everyone got problems, everyone have to deal with them. I don't have a problem, It's feels like it is something else.
I think I know why I'm like this, its because of childhood. Have so much hate towards my mum and dad, against the society, people around me. I have had this hate ever since I was 8years old and my mum and dad divorced, and I had to move abroad, to a country where I cant even speak the native language. Ever since I have never felt home anywhere.
In school people always laughed at me when I said something, even the teachers. Even though I didn't really care back then if i got bullied or was different, because I had so much problems at home. It was a fight between me,my dad, my mum, my stepfather.
I made some promises to myself that I have kept for myself. That I will hate my parents forever and never talk to them,.When I move out of house, I'm just gonna disappear, I will never let them see my kids/wife if I get any.
My dad and mum have never ever been able to talk with each other about me, where I should live because I have always wanted to live in Sweden during my childhood, my home country, where I could feel home. I have always had to be some kind of intermediary between them. Where my mum tells me that my dad is some kind of freak and my dad tells me that my mum is a whore, in short. And I had to hear this my entire school time. Even though I have said to them that I don't wanna hear it I have still had to be the intermediary. It's a pain to hear all the hate they got towards each other, to hear it in words, they have never understood that I can think myself. I could even hear my mum speaking with siblings/ her friends about what she thought about my dad. My dad always starts a discussion where he want me to believe that my mum is the bad one. I have even had to break stuff to get out my anger on them but do they change? NO! They still torture me. I hate hate them, even though I like them, I only wished they could hear me >:( really started to hate myself and all people around me. I hate the world, everyday I have to think about this.
Everyday I think about myself, feel like the biggest looser with no friends, never been able to maintain a job, I don't know what I'm good at. I can't do sports on serious level because of my knee injury. I don't feel home anywhere.
I wish I was dead, never been born, I was somebody else.
I just want to tell whatever opinion you might have on me, you don't have to feel any guilt, I know I'm a pathetic lost little kid, a problem in short. I know the world don't have a place for people like me. That's why I'm fighting myself so I can find myself a place where I belong.
-
William put those negative feelings aside. They're gonna eat you up inside and destroy you. Be postive about life and good things will come your way.
Seriously William you're sort of sounding paranoid. I know your not. It's all
coming from bad experiences. You don't want to be a zombie on perscription meds. If you lighten up and look at the bright side of life, you'll be much happier and healthier.
Rodger, Over and Out O0
-
William, I'm not going to pussy-foot around.. I think that you need help, and the help that
you need is more than what we can give you on the forum.
From reading all of your posts, we'll do our best to give you advice but you have some major personal issues that
are even beyond our help. I think that you should get some psychiatric help.
That's my honest opinion.
-
William, I think you need some professional help sorting through these issues, which nobody here is qualified to provide. Professional counseling can make a big difference. Please consider it.
Good luck.
-
Before seeking professional help try to help your self William. Put those bad life experiences away. They're pulling you down.
My major concern with Magma's and Razor's suggestion for professional help is that it will involve some kind of perscription drugs. They can be helpful but many times they can do more damage then help.
Be strong William and try to work through this on your own. You know you have a great support group here to cheer you on.
Rodger, Over and Out O0
-
William,
Your experiences coming from a divorced family are not uncommon. One thing I learned, through a parenting class required in my state during the divorce process, was to avoid putting the kids inbetween the mother and father. It's a very common occurrence and one that creates big problems for the kids on an ongoing basis throughout their lives.
As others have recommended, I think you'd be wise to seek some help from a clinical psychologist. Talk therapy will allow you to get these issues off your chest, once and for all, and allow you to chart a course moving forward, putting theses issues behind you.
Andrew
-
I think face to face help might be better than a website.
-
Yeah I agree...I would try and seek out a doctor or professional
-
I just believe he is in a tough situation and probably knows he needs to talk with someone. But to actually letting go of your pride and doing it is harder to do than one would think. It is easy for all of us to sit here and say go seek some help, talk with someone. Its almost like we need to go there...and drag his butt there. I know if I was in your town bro...I would hop right on over and load your ass up and take you in. Like my parents use to say...its called "Tough Love" if someone cared enough about you ( that is if you have opened up to someone and let them know) they would make sure you were on your way to recovery.
-
Thanks for all the replies and suggestions. Not gonna say it has made huge impact on me even though you are trying to help me.
To my reality, I refuse to believe that any Dr.Phil alike person can help me or any perscription drugs. I don't like asking for help but I know I might need it. That's why I posted this.
I know I should put all my bad feelings aside and think in a more positive way. That's why I have been playing a lot of computer games even though I have stopped with it, since I shaved my head. I have decided to change myself but I don't know. I'm confused and a problem that needs to be solved.
I read Tyler's post about being a pleaser, and that's sort of whom I have raised myself to be. I really don't like people who don't care for others, I'm not saying this to you.
I know this a forum/site for head shaving, balding guys but it also seems like a very good place to get any kind of help and this you could say is my second step towards helping myself. First I have decided that I need help, seek for help. And now I have told someone about my problems and can get perspective of what needs to be done. I know I will need more help and this is only the beginning.
-
Before seeking professional help try to help your self William. Put those bad life experiences away. They're pulling you down.
My major concern with Magma's and Razor's suggestion for professional help is that it will involve some kind of perscription drugs. They can be helpful but many times they can do more damage then help.
Be strong William and try to work through this on your own. You know you have a great support group here to cheer you on.
Rodger, Over and Out O0
William put those negative feelings aside. They're gonna eat you up inside and destroy you. Be postive about life and good things will come your way.
Seriously William you're sort of sounding paranoid. I know your not. It's all
coming from bad experiences. You don't want to be a zombie on perscription meds. If you lighten up and look at the bright side of life, you'll be much happier and healthier.
Okay, firstly, I think it's pretty much obvious that from the posts that William has posted on the forum, that his issues go way beyond any help we can give him.. sure, we'll be here for him, all of us, BUT Rodger, and what I really have a problem with, is that William is a 'man' and these problems stem from childhood.. so they've been building up. I think he may have tried to fight his demons, and not had the right help. That is what I'm recommending he seeks. Some people just aren't strong enough. That's what makes us individuals. I'm not ashamed to say that in my lifetime, I have sought professional help for problems that I've gone through and it helped me a lot. I also have a number of friends, for whatever reason, that have also done the same.
Secondly, I don't know whether you've ever had any mental 'issues' before, but you don't just walk through the door and they prescribe you pills.. you get assessed, which might take a few sessions. Maybe you have quacks prescribing you drugs where you are.. I don't know. Speaking from experience, this is an issue that can't be solved just by talking to us on this forum.
-
William, Magma and some of the others here have given you great advice. This IS a forum of support and we are always glad to be here for one another. But in some instances the type of support needed requires professionally trained individuals not just well meaning friends. If these issues are taking up an enormous amount of time from your young life, seek help from professionals and don't waste time that would allow you to be out and enjoying life.
-
Growing up is all about finding your place in life. It can be very overwhelming, I know... from school, to career, to women, to liking yourself, etc. it sucks having doubts, uncertainties, and feeling like you cannot relate to anyone. I don't think this is something you can overcome on your own. I strongly believe you need to talk to people, surround yourself with positive folks, and do some soul searching. You can be happy, you just got to make a lot of changes. I wish I knew exactly what changes would make you feel like a different man, but I think that my suggestions will help you a little bit. We love you William!
-
Secondly, I don't know whether you've ever had any mental 'issues' before, but you don't just walk through the door and they prescribe you pills.. you get assessed, which might take a few sessions. Maybe you have quacks prescribing you drugs where you are.. I don't know. Speaking from experience, this is an issue that can't be solved just by talking to us on this forum.
I agree. Prescription drugs weren't even something I had in mind when I suggested that William seek professional help. But if he does need to be medicated, that decision is one that will be made by William with the advice of a trained professional. None of us here is qualified to make that determination based on what he's posted to an internet forum.
-
Razor, but bro...we need to help support this guy to help coax him into going somewhere and getting some help. If we all just sit here and just say go talk to a professional and just leaving it at that it is going to sound like no one cares. Almost like you dont want to deal with it. Im sorry, Im going to leave how I wrote that but please understand I am not rakin you across the coals. I just always have the tendency to sit and listen to someone talk about their problems. I may or may not have any words for them but at least they know I care when they can sit and talk and to know that it will not go any further than the two of us. It sounds to me like he has a big Trust issue too and that is what he needs right now too, is trust. Trust that we are going to help lead him in the right direction.
-
Razor, but bro...we need to help support this guy to help coax him into going somewhere and getting some help. If we all just sit here and just say go talk to a professional and just leaving it at that it is going to sound like no one cares. Almost like you dont want to deal with it. Im sorry, Im going to leave how I wrote that but please understand I am not rakin you across the coals. I just always have the tendency to sit and listen to someone talk about their problems. I may or may not have any words for them but at least they know I care when they can sit and talk and to know that it will not go any further than the two of us. It sounds to me like he has a big Trust issue too and that is what he needs right now too, is trust. Trust that we are going to help lead him in the right direction.
It's not that we don't care, Tim. It's because we DO care that we're telling him to get professional help. If he wants to talk about his problems here, and folks want to listen, that is fine --- as long as it doesn't take the place of professional help. I wasn't saying "shut up, go see a shrink and don't bother us anymore with your problems." Sorry if I wasn't clear about that. :)
-
Razor, but bro...we need to help support this guy to help coax him into going somewhere and getting some help. If we all just sit here and just say go talk to a professional and just leaving it at that it is going to sound like no one cares. Almost like you dont want to deal with it. Im sorry, Im going to leave how I wrote that but please understand I am not rakin you across the coals. I just always have the tendency to sit and listen to someone talk about their problems. I may or may not have any words for them but at least they know I care when they can sit and talk and to know that it will not go any further than the two of us. It sounds to me like he has a big Trust issue too and that is what he needs right now too, is trust. Trust that we are going to help lead him in the right direction.
Timmay, as much as I love ya, you're kinda missing the point here. We are not abandoning William. like I said, and Razor said and Paul said, we are here.. and we are more than willing to listen. But he does need to seek outside help. We do care. Which is why we've said what we've said. If William wants to talk to anyone individually via pm, then I'm sure he will and I'll reinforce that he is more than welcome to do that and I'm pretty sure that everyone else on this forum would be willing to talk to him. It goes deeper than that Tim. I know you mean well by saying if you were in his town you would drag his butt wherever... you aint. None of us are.. and although talking on here will help in some way, it's not enough. But hopefully, it will give him the motivation to go that one step further and get proper help.
I'm sorry William that I'm speaking as if you're the third person. We do care on this forum and we will be here to help you as much as we can. But you need to help yourself and the first step towards that would be to seek professional help.
-
OH HUSH Magma..you dont know what you are talking about. LOL Just kidding. I understand, totally. Maybe my words werent the best choosen ones. Im sorry if I made you all think differently.
-
Thanks for all the replies and suggestions. Not gonna say it has made huge impact on me even though you are trying to help me.
I belong to several online forums and it seems there is always a guy that has serious issues and decides to post about how miserable they are. If you are like them, you'll get good advice and do nothing. You'll ignore everyones advice, you'll use excuse after excuse how nobody understands or how you tried somthing and it didn't work and you'll post the same thing over and over every few weeks about how miserable you are. Eventually people will stop giving you sound advice because they know you won't take it and they know you're not serious.
DON'T BE LIKE THOSE GUYS
Not trying to sound like an ass, but bottom line, if you're confused whether you need help, you do. I've only seen a handfull of posts from you and it's obvious you need serious help to straighten out your way of thinking. You have way to much negativity running through your head. You need someone with experience to figure out whats causing it and help get rid of it. Posting here and getting it off your chest is great, but now that you have folks advice, take it and run with it. Don't be like so many other people I've seen who just hide behide excuses and never change. Think of it like this. Many of us here on SGF have made changes and feels great afterward. Sometime you have to change to feel better about things! O0
-
I think you all have spoken true words. Having no doubts about that what he wrotes, i also think
he did one important step, getting in contact with people, not hidding anymore and so on.
I bet he knows, that it's not the only way just doing some posts in a forum and all will be good.
I guess sharing some expiriences is ok. To block this completly would be wrong. As long as his
his expectation won't get to "high" to find all answers in a forum.
Beside of that, i wanna share the following with ya all, some wise words so to speak:
Desiderata - Max Ehrmann
Go placidly amid the noise and haste,
and remember what peace there may be in silence.
As far as possible, without surrender,
be on good terms with all persons.
Speak your truth quietly and clearly;
and listen to others, even to the dull
and the ignorant; they too have their story.
Avoid loud and aggressive persons;
they are vexations to the spirit.
If you compare yourself with others,
you may become vain or bitter,
for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.
Enjoy your acheivements as well as your plans.
Keep interest in your own career,
however humble; it is a real possession
in the changing fortunes of time.
Exercise caution in your business affairs,
for the world is full of trickery.
But let this not blind you to what virtue there is;
many persons strive for high ideals,
and everywhere life is full of heroism.
Be yourself. Especially do not feign affection.
Neither be cynical about love;
for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment
it is as perennial as the grass.
Take kindly the council of the years,
gracefully surrendering the things of youth.
Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune.
But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings,
Many fears are born out of fatigue and loneliness.
Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself.
You are a child of the universe,
no less than the trees and the stars;
you have a right to be here.
And whether or not it is clear to you,
no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should be.
Therefore be at peace with God,
whatever you conceive Him to be.
And whatever your labers and aspirations,
in the noisey confusions of life,
keep peace in your soul.
With all its sham, drudgery and broken dreams,
it is still a beautiful world.
Be cheerful. Strive to be happy!
-
that was fantastic Ben :)
-
Thanks for all the replies and suggestions. Not gonna say it has made huge impact on me even though you are trying to help me.
I belong to several online forums and it seems there is always a guy that has serious issues and decides to post about how miserable they are. If you are like them, you'll get good advice and do nothing. You'll ignore everyones advice, you'll use excuse after excuse how nobody understands or how you tried somthing and it didn't work and you'll post the same thing over and over every few weeks about how miserable you are. Eventually people will stop giving you sound advice because they know you won't take it and they know you're not serious.
DON'T BE LIKE THOSE GUYS
Not trying to sound like an ass, but bottom line, if you're confused whether you need help, you do. I've only seen a handfull of posts from you and it's obvious you need serious help to straighten out your way of thinking. You have way to much negativity running through your head. You need someone with experience to figure out whats causing it and help get rid of it. Posting here and getting it off your chest is great, but now that you have folks advice, take it and run with it. Don't be like so many other people I've seen who just hide behide excuses and never change. Think of it like this. Many of us here on SGF have made changes and feels great afterward. Sometime you have to change to feel better about things! O0
I have been on one different forum (people that are trying to grow their hair back) and talked about myself, but well I think I was getting help from the wrong kind of people. People that themselves don't allow them to be themselves or allow people around them to accept themselves as they are, something like me. I have always wanted to be accepted for the one I'm.
Here when reading so much about hair loss is about being the one you are and taking control of yourself, and letting people around you accepting the one you are, I should not let people think of me as somebody I'm not. That's what I have been doing.
I have let other people control myself, and it has only made me more insecure of the one I'm, I simply must start controlling myself and accept myself.
I haven't wrote so much about myself and my thoughts anywhere else than here. I'm trying to be a honest person when telling this to you. I like people who can be themselves and honest about themselves, for some reason I know you are. Even though we live in two different worlds.
Another reason why I told this here was because other people could read about it. And maybe it will help someone more than myself.
I haven't planned to stay here the rest of my life and share my problems with you but think I'm gonna stay here because I'm going bald. And I like the mentality here.
As I did when I realized I was going bald. I might start *google* about how professionals work and what their job is. And what it is for kind of help that I need/ will get.
Think it have helped me in someway telling this even though I'm not saying it has.
-
William, a lot of folks here have offered what advice they can because they care and have your best interest at heart, no matter how well they expressed their thoughts. We are here to help you as best we can. The only thing I would add is that the moment that thoughts of 'I wish I was dead' (in the title of this thread) begin to dominate your thoughts, that is the time to seek some serious professional help (not the kind of help most of us can give), and fast, whether it be psychologist or psychiatrist. Take good care.
-
William, a lot of folks here have offered what advice they can because they care and have your best interest at heart, no matter how well they expressed their thoughts. We are here to help you as best we can. The only thing I would add is that the moment that thoughts of 'I wish I was dead' (in the title of this thread) begin to dominate your thoughts, that is the time to seek some serious professional help (not the kind of help most of us can give), and fast, whether it be psychologist or psychiatrist. Take good care.
The headline might be wrong, It's nothing I wish anymore, just something I have felt the entire my life, that *I wish I was dead, never been born, I was somebody else. *
I have come to realize that I need to start controlling myself, and do something about my life situation. I need to look on the future and not hook up on old stuff and for that I might need professional help. I guess in time I will realize that.
-
My two cents:
William, I think that you've taken a huge step in knowing that you need to take control of your life.
Unfortunately your parents were selfish and didn't think about how using you as a messenger would affect you. You couldn't control that just like you couldn't control losing your hair. But you took control of your hairloss by reacting correctly; shaving your head. Now it's time to take control of the rest of your life by controlling how you react to past, present, and future events.
Past: It's over and done. You can't control it anymore. There were good times and bad times. You can react by either focusing on the good times or focusing on the bad times. Which do you think is going to give you the best outcome?
Present: This is something you can control, to a degree. You can control exactly how you react to every minute of your day, how you react to everything that is said to you, and how you react to each little even that occurs. The more you react in your best interest, the better outcome you're going to have.
Future: This is controlled by the present. The more positive of outcomes that you create in the present, the more you're going to be able to have a better future.
-
William. The few posts Ive read from you do seem like you just need a good friend to talk to...whether that be personal or professional.
You can always post here...but it wouldnt hurt to have a professional be that person. Not every therapist is like Dr Phil...
Call a few on the phone and go talk to one. Us telling you to "get the negative thoughts out of your head" is certainly not going to help you do it...
talk to someone. If you get someone good you will wonder why you never did it sooner. Much like shaving your head.
Looks great on you by the way. :)
-
Firstly, I want to say that I'm very glad for everyone of your answers here. I know that everyone is posting because you care and being honest, that you even take time and write something must mean that you care or have something to say. I'm very glad that I can read it.
Secondly, I'm very glad that I can have a discussions about myself with a bunch of experienced people like you. That's why I posted this crap, I knew you had something to say.
I know that ultimately when I have overcome my problems, I will look/think more positive about people/myself. I will see the world as it is, I will see everything I can do, I will learn how to deal with future problems, I will learn how to ask help when I need, where to seek it, where to get it, I will be a normal person but with a lot of experience of whom I'm.
Back to me, the problem. I know that I got problems, I know I need to do something to change myself, I knew I had to open myself up to someone or talk to someone about myself. I knew that it could be one step closer to getting the help I need.
I think now, why I have spent so much time alone and why I never opened myself up to someone. Because of my childhood, and the way I felt back then, the anger/hate I was born up with, and the fact I never felt home anywhere, couldn't relate myself to my friends or people around, I don't speak the same language as people around me even though I very well understand what they say to me.
I'm still this little kid with a lot of anger and hate.
I have had this voice in my head, that kept me going, he was my best friend and understood me, he was the only one that knew what was going on in my mind. When I was kid, he was there for me, made me think, I'm *immortal* I can handle every problem by myself. That's also what I have done, if there ever was something I needed help with, I didn't ask for help, I did something else or found another way around the problem.
I have always felt most secure when I have been with myself.
Now as I have grow older and older and trying to take that step out of my house. I can't do it because I have built up tons of problems that I'm gonna have to deal with. And yes I'm realizing that this might not be something I can do by myself or just talking here.
I have to stop denying that I got some very serious problems that I need to deal with. I need to seek help for that too. I can't deny myself anymore, it's scares me. I'm still very confused about myself. But I know I got problems, I know I need help to get past them. I know it's not too late for me. I know I can seek help. I know I'm gonna be myself someday.
I'm gonna get help soon when I understand that I need, I do understand that I need but I need to get that help too, I know it's waiting for me and that my voice wanna leave me too, he have started to realize that I can't live with him inside me anymore.
I'm soon there, I can almost feel, just need to seek my forgotten powers!
-
William,
I know I don't have the total answers for you. But you do sound like you are in great pain. Nobody should have to go through that. I know that there are guidelines in the forum about religious topics or debates, so I am not looking to step on any toes. But I am a Christian and my church has a ministry called, "Celebrate Recovery". Many churches worldwide have this ministry. It is for people with hurts, habits and hangups. It is not just for alcoholics or addicts. It is a recovery/support group that is Christ centered. For more information go to: www.celebraterecovery.com . If it is something that you are open to, you might want to have a look. If not, please get some help. The fine folks on this forum are great people but you need someone to walk this through with you. Flesh and blood support can take you further than us folks here on the internet. There are also other good groups and counselors besides Celebrate Recovery too. That was just one I am familiar with.
Marsh
-
William,
Life is what you make of it. You didn't chose your parents, your up-bringing, or your location. So what!
Learn from it, life is but a lesson. Are you in a war torn country? Did your mother-father-brother-sister-friend get blown up today by a sensless act of voilence? ....life could always be worse.
You are you, don't forget the kid you once were, learn from him. My parents divorced, fought, slanged each other in front of me, until I stopped it. I made the stand, cost me a few years without one parent, but I am now close to both... on my terms. I can't stand the society that stands there and accepts a persons faults "because both his/her parents were alchoholics" .... I mean WTF?? They have a brain, a choice. If you hate it that much then why become this or that in a negative?
Do some soul searching, find yourself and the type of person you want to be. If you have trouble look to a professional.
When you make eye contact with someone...smile. Most will smile back... the world is not full of evil people.
Before you dissappear from your parents, speak your mind, otherwise you will be running the rest of your life.
You feel alone, your not. You need a friend, you have several here... pm me if you want friend, I will always write back when I log on.
-
William,
I believe you really need to focus on positives and surround yourself with positive people that support you. I deal with my depression without drugs through tight friendships and my relationship with my wife. I tried to end it all when I was bout 17 or so. I found that my friends and personal relationships were my saving grace. I also learned that we ALL have a reason being here. Find that, and you will be OK.
If you are unable to do that, then you may need to find a group like Marsh brought up and get some one on one conversations going. We are here for you obviously, but we can only get you so far over the internet.
-
William
The past is the past, and there is not one thing we can do to change the past. I did something along time ago, as I had some issues that haunted me from my past as to the way I was treated by my parents to stuff dealing with my ex-wife. I just could not seem to shake it off, no matter how I thought about it, or tried to deal with it until I remembered something from my teachings in church that I went to. There was something about the old teachers that did what was called a burnt offering. I'm not sugesting you offer a burnt offering... but what I did do, was write down EVERYTHING that had plegued me from early childhood to up into and after when I left my ex-wife. I wrote all this down on a several pages which I believed to be 4 total. Then I burned it, as smoke rises and does not settle, it was gone.... EVERYTHING that ever bothered me, bothered me no more.
I hope this helps
-
I have read and reread everything you wrote William, and I want you to know that you are not ALONE. You probably feel that you are swimming in a vast ocean, bobbing around without a life preserver, flailing around. Your thoughts and fears are not uncommon. All you have to do is open your eyes and realize that there are more people than you could possibly imagine are there to help you get in the boat, and save you from drowning.....But remember this, All you have to do is reach your hand out for help.......Only you can start the rescue process, and its easier, and not as painful as you think....There are several roads to take, but my advise to you is to just start down one of them and someone on that path that is there to help will guide you along the way, but brother let me tell from experience, that first step...having to reach out for help.....swallowing your pride and having to ask for help.....the realization that you can't handle everything in your life....That first step was for me and probably will be the hardest step to take.....But take it....There is alot of good people that are out there to help you....all you have to do is ask.
-
I have read and reread everything you wrote William, and I want you to know that you are not ALONE. You probably feel that you are swimming in a vast ocean, bobbing around without a life preserver, flailing around. Your thoughts and fears are not uncommon. All you have to do is open your eyes and realize that there are more people than you could possibly imagine are there to help you get in the boat, and save you from drowning.....But remember this, All you have to do is reach your hand out for help.......Only you can start the rescue process, and its easier, and not as painful as you think....There are several roads to take, but my advise to you is to just start down one of them and someone on that path that is there to help will guide you along the way, but brother let me tell from experience, that first step...having to reach out for help.....swallowing your pride and having to ask for help.....the realization that you can't handle everything in your life....That first step was for me and probably will be the hardest step to take.....But take it....There is alot of good people that are out there to help you....all you have to do is ask.
That is some sound advice, and heart-felt.
My prayers are with you, man. I wish I had more to offer, but I don't.