Sly Bald Guys Forum
Discussions About Being Bald => To be or not be...Bald => Topic started by: JSS5579 on June 16, 2008, 04:44:45 PM
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Hi All!
Hope someone can offer some advice and/or encouragement. I have been without hair since I was about 19 or 20 years old. (Male Pattern Baldness). I started wearing a hairpiece when I was 22 years old. I am now 52. I have been reading your forum threads for a while now. There is hardly anyone that has seen me without it except my immediate family (wife and 4 kids). I am really fed up with wearing a hairpiece. It is expensive and really a pain. At first, in my younger years, it gave me a lot of confidence and I think helped my appearance. But, now, at 52 years old, to me, I don't think there is any advantage to it. Moreover, I have two boys, 25 and 23 who are now losing their hair the same way I did. I think that it makes them uncomfortable with me having hair and they don't. I know that I feel uncomfortable "for them" since I have gone through it in the past and even am uncomfortable myself with hair now, because of their hairloss.
I keep threatening to shave my head (to wife and my two girls) ( my boys live on their own) and my wife and girls don't really want me to go without the hairpiece.
The thing is, we are leaving on vacation on Saturday to go south and I plan on not wearing my hairpiece at all down on vacation. If things go right for the week, I think I would like to go all the way and shave my whole head while I am down there. I should be pretty tan up top by the end of the week.
I am scared to death to come back though and go to work, see friends, neighbors and family members when I get back. Also, should I just shave my whole head the first day or try to go for a few day with the "sidewalls of hair" that I do have?
Thanks for a great forum!
Scott
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take it off and go to a No 1 for the trip!
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take it off and go to a No 1 for the trip!
Marty, is that all you have to say? Be a mensch and tell this guy a bit more. If anyone can help this fellow it certainly is you.
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I agree. Take it down to a #1 for the vacation trip. It'll give you and the family a chance to get use to it before returning to the grind. You've been struggling with this for many years. Take the plunge and we'll get you through it. Believe me, taking care of a bald head is a whole lot eaiser and less expensive than taking care of your hairpiece.
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Hey BaldBen! I only get a few moments to post at work and I said it very succinctly. Take it low while on vacation and see how it looks and feels and if there are any comments. Ben, I had transplants and a patch of skin cancer. My situation was different.
DEAR JSS: I do share your frustration. Feel free to write me at m45922@aol.com. Ben, I'll deal with u later. We need a pic of you to help. Only positive comments will be made.
Be nice to me. I had a screwed up day at work. LOL
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Welcome JSS5579,
Sounds like a good plan. I think you may imagine everyones reaction to be much greater than it actually will be. Initially you will get the "Whoa, what happened" and such but after a week, you will be yesterdays news.
remember to wear sunscreen when getting that dome tan!!!!! A sunburned scalp is painful, dangerous and walking around with snake skin type peeling is not the way you want to introduce your freshly shaved head to the world.
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Remember, it's only hair. If for some reason you don't like it -- I'm betting that you will -- it'll grow back before you know it.
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Welcome to Sly Bald Guys! I think you'll feel 1000 pounds lifted off of your shoulders when you shave your head. I also think you'll help each of your son's to do the same. It's different times now and by doing this, you could really help set your son's free if they are having issues with losing their hair.
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Vacation is the perfect time to shave the dome for the first time. It's much easier to expose your bare scalp to the world around people you don't know, don't care about, and will never see again. By the time your vacation is over with, you should feel more comfortable with it and that will make it a little easier to face the gang at the office.
Going to work with a shaved head for the first time is always scary and a little uncomfortable, but the discomfort is over with in a few minutes. It's not nearly as bad as the anticipation. Just take a deep breath and do it! ;)
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scott: welcome 2 the sly fraternity. glad that ya found us. your upcoming vacation will B the ultimate time 2 "retire" the rug & embrace your baldness. i say shave your dome and just go all the way. U won't regret it! O0
WARHAWK O0
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some great advice from the guys, especially Razor and Marz. O0
welcome to the forum Scott :)
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Go for the shave!
On the topic of reactions when you show at work bald: sure there will be reactions
but not cause of the bald head itself, cause of the sudden change in your appearance.
I've learned from my own experience that people are conservative, they expect you
to look always the same, to match the image they have of you in their mind.
When you shave your head (and get rid of the hairpiece) you no longer match
what they expect you to look, hence the shocked reactions... but as just said
they are reactions to the change, not to the bald head itself.
They need some time to adjust to your new image and they will be ok.
My advice for this problem: tell everybody what you are going to do! This way
they won't be shocked when you will show up bald at work, instead they will be
curious and will look forward to the new you, and some will even encourage you!
This will make things much easier! Just be honest with them... tell them that you
will come back different from your holiday, that you are fed up of the hairpiece
(most of them already know you wear it...) and you are going to get rid of it.
You'll be surprised by the positive reactions!
Good luck and keep us updated! O0
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Welcome top the Forum JS!! There's some good advice from the brothers posted above.
Try shaving it shorter and shorter over a couple of week period until you're down to no guard. Give that a few days or week and then finish it off by shaving. This will sort of "ease" the family and friends into your new look.
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Welcome, Scott!
These are very good advices. Vacations are a good time for changing one's look.
Talk to your family and maybe to your friends and coworkers and tell them what you want to do and why.
Back home you will get just a few comments, most will be positive. That's the experience of almost all of us.
Best wishes, nice holidays and jump over the fence and do the deed. And remember, it's hair, it will fast regrow.
J
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Be nice to me. I had a screwed up day at work. LOL
Have a nice evening and a better day tomorrow!
J
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Thanks HH. Im going to the gym.
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After thirty years of enduring a rug you should do what YOU want to do O:O. Be sure to leave the rug at home! Believe me, even though they didn't tell you I promise you a lot of your associates and loads of your friends know it's a rug ;D, and they'll enjoy the real you O0. And most important you'll enjoy the real you 8). It will set a good example for your sons, so they don't waste a lot of money on rugs too--end the tyranny now, free yourself, free your sons.
As one bald guy told me today, it's the freedom, and he believed no one else knew what that freedom meant. I told him I did and that the Sly Guys did too. Maybe he'll come here too.
We're with you, who can be against you? P@^
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All:
I want to thank all of you for such awesome support!! I feel so much better after reading all of your posts.
I have a great plan now because of all of you.
First, I have a couple close friends at work that I am going to tell before I leave.
While on vacation, I am going to e-mail most of my co-worker's and some other friends with a pic of my new look, explaining what to expect of the "new me" when I return. What do ya think??
I already feel like a load has been lifted off of my shoulders!!
Thanks again!
Scott
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I already feel like a load has been lifted off of my shoulders!!
Thanks again!
Scott
scott: sounds like the perfect plan. if U feel like a load has been lifted now, just wait until U "do the deed". keep us posted 2 your road 2 slyness. glad that U have a plan of action! O0
WARHAWK O0
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Hey JSS5579.
Your story is so close to mine. I was a piece wearer for 23 years. Last June I had had enough with the rug and went for it all. One Friday afternoon I ditched the rug, went to the local barber, had it buzzed as short as it would go, shaved it over the weekend and showed up at work on Monday.
I am a lawyer. Even had a trial my first day back. Was scared to death of everyone's reaction but they were all positive. The only surprise was how many people knew I wore a rug and I thought I was fooling. That was the emberrassment for me.
Your vacation plan is a great one. Only, don't leave the hairy horseshoe. The entire scalp needs a little sunlight so go all the way and knock it all off. As a former wig wearer, trust me, it will be a great load of stress lifted from your shoulders. Good luck.
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All:
I want to thank all of you for such awesome support!! I feel so much better after reading all of your posts.
I have a great plan now because of all of you.
First, I have a couple close friends at work that I am going to tell before I leave.
While on vacation, I am going to e-mail most of my co-worker's and some other friends with a pic of my new look, explaining what to expect of the "new me" when I return. What do ya think??
I already feel like a load has been lifted off of my shoulders!!
Thanks again!
Scott
Sounds like a great plan, Scott. Interesting idea emailing a preview of the new you, to reduce the surprise effect. But, I found it was more in my head than anyone elses. You'll get some initial reactions and then everyone moves on to the next subject and it's over.
Andrew
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Welcome Scott!!! Vacation is a great time to go shave it off. I work with a man that wore a hair piece for years. Everyone knew it, but I always got the feeling that he didn’t think they knew it. He came to work one Monday morning completely shaved. WOW! What a difference. He looked better and much younger. He is more confidante in appearance and is more out going.
Just try it.
Max
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I can only echo the sentiments of those that have posted before me.
I was unhappy with the hair that I had and had threatened to get rid of it several times. I actually got one of my friends at work to shave my head as a dare the day before a ski-ing trip. Everyone at work knew what I looked like sly, and I didn'[t have to face my family for a week so I had time to change my mind if necessary.
I've had a few people comment that they didn't like it as much, and one work colleague has stated that it isn't appropriate in my position, but I'm much happier about it.
Go sly and enjoy the vacation.
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All:
I want to thank all of you for such awesome support!! I feel so much better after reading all of your posts.
I have a great plan now because of all of you.
First, I have a couple close friends at work that I am going to tell before I leave.
Way to go!! O0 You'll be surprised by the positive reactions, am sure they
will be supportive about your choice and will also encourage you (they already
know you use a rug ;) )
While on vacation, I am going to e-mail most of my co-worker's and some other friends with a pic of my new look, explaining what to expect of the "new me" when I return. What do ya think??
I already feel like a load has been lifted off of my shoulders!!
Thanks again!
Scott
maybe the mail with the pics won't be necessary... the friends you are going to
tell will do all the advertising in the office ;D
But feel free to take the pic and post it here as your new avatar! O0
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Jess5579,
I used to be a hairstylist and worked with hair replacements for a short period. Maybe because I have a trained eye, but I notice even the best hair replacments. I think this one is a no brainer. Believe me when I tell you, more people know you are wearing a rug then you think.
I know it must be hard because you have been wearing it so long, but trust me you will be so happy once you let it go.
On a side note, you will be amazed how much they really cost and how crazy the mark up is in the industry. Everyone who gets a hair replacement is really getting ripped off becuase they are very inexpensive to manufacture. As far as I'm concerned the entire industry is based on lies.
I recently went sly and every day is getting easier. Yes going to work was a little nerve racking, but now more then a week has gone by and I could see how people are getting used to the new me.
Go for it man, like Bootedbear said, it's only hair and it will grow back. However, once you go sly it's hard to go back.
Good Luck Bro.
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Believe me when I tell you, more people know you are wearing a rug then you think.
And even if people don't know, the constant fear that someone will eventually find out would be enough to keep me from wanting one.
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Most rugs are devilishly easy to spot. I do it all the time. People with rugs don't fool anyone except themselves, sadly. :(
the same with guys who do the comb-over. I know one man who's 73 now and he's been combing one long strand of hair over his head for years, and plastering it down with hairsprey thinking no one will notice. he just has the strand across the front, and leaves the rest of the top of his head bald. I've always wished I could get some scissors!! >:D
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Most rugs are devilishly easy to spot. I do it all the time. People with rugs don't fool anyone except themselves, sadly. :(
the same with guys who do the comb-over. I know one man who's 73 now and he's been combing one long strand of hair over his head for years, and plastering it down with hairsprey thinking no one will notice. he just has the strand across the front, and leaves the rest of the top of his head bald. I've always wished I could get some scissors!! >:D
One day last week I was standing on the platform waiting for the train and there was an older guy there with a really bad rug. Out of the corner of my eye, I could see him giving me the once-over in what seemed to be a disapproving manner. Then a few minutes later, another fully shaved guy came along. The guy with the rug was standing between the two of us and kept looking back and forth at our domes, as if he didn't quite know what to make of us. ;D
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Believe me when I tell you, more people know you are wearing a rug then you think.
And even if people don't know, the constant fear that someone will eventually find out would be enough to keep me from wanting one.
I never considered a rug, and these two statements were high on my list of reasons why I never considered one.
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Believe me when I tell you, more people know you are wearing a rug then you think.
And even if people don't know, the constant fear that someone will eventually find out would be enough to keep me from wanting one.
My dentist before the storm wore a rug, and believe me although it was probably expensive, when he was bending over me digging and working on the teeth, all I could see was the net like bottom of the thing, and little hairs remaining on his scalp. He looked okay at a distance, although the hair didn't have any shine or luster to it, but any closer than three feet, it was VERY obvious. Never did ask him why he wore it. Great dentist though, just had bad taste in hair styles.
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do it and get it over with. for a few days you'll be a topic and after that, it dies down rather quickly. it's for you; not anyone else!
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Originally posted by Marty22
do it and get it over with. for a few days you'll be a topic and after that, it dies down rather quickly. it's for you; not anyone else!
So true. Being newly sly myself, this seems to be the exact pattern. Once everyone gets over the shock, it is no big deal. I noticed my wife is even starting to warm up to it.
However, beware of the power that the sly gives you. Use it wisely. Good Luck.
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Throw the rug away, get a pair of barber clippers and peel it down to sandpaper. Get yourself my weapon of choice, the Schick Extreme with Headslick and go permanently bald, and dont look back. That means at the minimum a daily headshave. Welcome to the frat!
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you'll feel uplifted and relieved once over with. trust me.
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do it and get it over with. for a few days you'll be a topic and after that, it dies down rather quickly. it's for you; not anyone else!
This is excellent advice. In my experience, once you know you're going to do it, it's best to get it over with as soon as possible. Otherwise, you'll just be obsessed with it and torture yourself thinking about it until it's done.
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I may not have a hairpiece, but I definetly feel some of the same feelings.
I am going to take your guys' advice and just do it. I'm not going to wait.
It's noticeable, i'm not fooling anyone. My hair is falling out fast and soon it will be even more noticeable.
I think i'm going to do it next week.
The only thing really holding me back is, I have my eye on a girl and she knows me with hair. But if she doesn't accept me, or like me the same without hair, who cares.
She wouldn't have been right either way.
So yeah, it's happening soon.
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how old are you
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i'm 19
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Hi Gentlemen!
Well, as you can see from my avatar, I finally did it! I am down in Gulf Shores, AL. I arrived yesterday. I got up this morning and while my wife, and daugters were at the grocery store, I shaved it clean!! Everyone has been so supportive since I told them yesterday. Even my two nieces, 17 and 11, they love my new look. My 11 year old niece really didn't know that I wore a hairpiece (atleast she says!), and she gave me a thumbs up O0. My 13 year old daughter was a little quiet about it at first, but it is now 2:00 PM on Sunday, 6/22 and it is really a non-event for her.
I feel so much better! Do you know what it is like to go in the ocean and the pool without having to worry about what is on my head?? I feel like a million bucks!! My wife actually thinks I look better. She was the one more worried about it than me.
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Looks fantastic! O0
Congratulations on your new-found freedom. Be careful of the sun on your dome.
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CONGRADULATIONS!!! JSS Liberating isn't it? Please be sure to wear sunscreen. The sun is very hot down there and definetly don't want to burn the roof.
Again congradulations! O0 8) It looks great!
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Razor:
Thanks for the support!
Scott O0
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Fr8train:
Thanks!
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Way to go Scott,
Glad that you're wife approves of the new SLY you. You're 13 year old will warm up to it. Give her some time.
Enjoy the summer and all the new found freedom you have.
Tyro
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Scott, that looks great!!! Welcome to the SLY world.
Max
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Congrats JSS, looks great and great to know that you are already enjoying the freedom O0
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Scott, It looks great. I can't imagine a hair piece looking better.
Good Luck on your new freedom.
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Scott: you really suit the look, bro. I'm sure the hairpiece didnt look half so good as the new sly dome does. Glad you feel 'freed up'! 8) Welcome to the sly side!
O0
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Scott: Congrats with going through with it!! It looks great. Don't forget the sunscreen O0
north: Don't worry about what one specific girl thinks about your hair (or lack thereof ;D) If you put her on a pedestal like that, you'll probably chase her away. In my experience, chicks in general love it. And the few that don't, do not know what they're missing.
Why wait? Check out how happy Scott is. I wish I would have thought about shaving my head in college. Good luck!
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Congrats Scott!
It must feel great having that "weight" lifted off your head!
Way to go!
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Hi, welcome, have u burnt the rug in case u are tempted.
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Hey JSS-excellent!
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BaldBen that's a kewl new pic.
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Best compliments!!!! O0
you see?? it was a no issue also for your close relatives!!
Keep us updated on your adventure in slyness!!! ;)
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Hi Everyone!
Well, can't thank all of you enough (again).
To give you an update, I called, e-mailed and sent the picture (avatar) to a lot of friends, co-workers and family.
Every comment has been so positive! From, "you look 10 years younger" to "you look awesome" and be sure to "wear a lot of sun screen!" I have so much confidence now.
As far as going back to work well.............. I am not even worried about it at all.
This has been such a life changing event for me, but yet really means so little to everyone else, (except that everyone is very happy and pleased that you did it!) What better reaction could you ask for?
For those of you that are questioning whether to go "SLY" or not.......don't hesitate. Just do it! You will be so much happier. Yes, it is hard to make the decision and hard to go through it at first, but the uncomfortable feeling only lasts a couple of hours, if that!
Thanks!
Scott 8)
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Congratulations Scott! O0 You really got the attitude that goes right along with being SLY. Very liberating experience isn't it? Keep us posted and stay slick and smooth. 8)
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Scott, good for you bro! O0
Welcome to your freedom, you must feel like a ton has been lifted.
Enjoy it, keep it smooth and keep us posted. O:O
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Welcome, Scott. You're looking very SLY in you pic. Glad to hear it has been a positive experience. O0 And.......it only gets better.....
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Scott, that looks great!! Thanks for sharing your story and new avitar.
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So Scott,
Make sure us keep us posted. Let us know how it goes when you get back. I hope you had a great time on vacation and your new found freedom from the rug. O0
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Hi Again Everyone!
Well I arrived back on Sunday morning. Saw two neighbors for the first time and they both liked it! Saw a few relatives as well. Everyone had positive things to say.
Went back to work today. A little nervous as can be expected. Some of my co-workers had to take a double take, but the result has been very positive. Again, not one bad comment at all! Everyone seemed to understand why I would go Sly and thought that I looked so much better! It has been a thumbs up so far! As Andrew said, "the nervous feeling is all in your head".
It really is surprising how many people knew that I wore a hairpiece, although it shouldn't be surprising.
I wish that I had done this 20 years ago!
Scott
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WAY TO GO SCOTT!!!! O0
Sounds like all of the things you were worried about flew right out the window! O0 Keep it smooth and SLY my Brother. 8)
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Hi fr8train!
Thanks again!
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Scott, congrats on your new found freedom and look!
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It really is surprising how many people knew that I wore a hairpiece, although it shouldn't be surprising.
I wish that I had done this 20 years ago!
Scott the only one you were fooling was yourself.
Now that's all HISTORY.
Enjoy the new SLY you.
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Congrats Scott, it look great!! O0
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Scott:
I don't mean to pry too deeply into the family stuff, but how about your sons, this all started when you said, "I have two boys, 25 and 23 who are now losing their hair the same way I did. I think that it makes them uncomfortable with me having hair and they don't. I know that I feel uncomfortable "for them" since I have gone through it in the past and even am uncomfortable myself with hair now, because of their hairloss. " How are the guys taking it, any thoughts you know about that they might see the Sly way as a really good way to handle the issue?
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Hi saintc!
To answer your question, when I sent the picture to my boys, my 25 year old, David called me and told me that he had just shaved his head too!! He had done it before (a couple of years ago), but let it grow back. After seeing my picture he just did it. To me that was a compliment enough. He thought that I looked great "SLY". The only thing he said was that he wanted us to do it together. Originally, he was going to go with us to Gulf Shores on vacation, but couldn't because of his job.
He seems to feel great about both of us going through it. My 23 yo thought I did the right thing via e-mail, but he hasn't seen me in person yet. I haven't talked to him since coming back, but will see him this weekend. I will get more feedback then as well.
I think that they will ultimately feel more comfortable with their hairloss while being around me. Although, they never said anything about my hairpiece being a bad choice, I know they thought I was being too vain. At this point though, I think it will be a while before my younger son goes "SLY". He is young yet and still has most of his hair.
I not only wanted to "free" myself, but their situation was very much on my mind and I felt more of a solidarity with them on the hair issue. I could tell that people would think, "why does Scott, a 52 yo man have more hair than his boys?" and "hey, you two have less hair than your Dad!" I thought it an uncomfortable position to put them in. So, was I more bothered than them? Probably, but time will tell.
As far as the other guys I see, most knew that I wore a hairpiece. One guy (a partner of the company) told me that "it was about time I got rid of the rug and acted like a man!" That has been the only negative comment made and I just laughed. Everyone else has been very positive. Everyone thought I looked much better. I had one of my female employees tell me that I looked 10 years younger. Even if it wasn't true, it is nice to hear.
Hope that helps!
Scott
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I had one of my female employees tell me that I looked 10 years younger. Even if it wasn't true, it is nice to hear.
Don't even think you don't look younger, you do, and most of us that have gone Sly at a "mature" age do too. Ain't it great. I got that one a lot--and it's true--I'm a believer.
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Congratulations Scott!!! It looks great and it sounds like you're getting lots of positive feedback.
I'm happily married, but I've found it interesting when a few younger ladies in our office have flirted with me. Wasn't happening before I went sly.
Enjoy your new freedom, Scott.
Andrew
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The reason people are saying it looks good is because they love you. Oh, and because it looks really good! Congratulations on finally being comfortable with your baldness. Pass of that wisdom and confidence to your sons. Hopefully they won't make the same mistake of having a bad self image for so many years.
Seriously, you look really good.
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Hi Everyone!
Well it has been 1 month and 3 days since I went SLY. I have pretty much seen everyone and gotten a lot of feedback since then. I feel so much more comfortable with myself and what I am. As I stated before, I have gotten very positive feed back from everyone. I have had a few people look at me and just say, "Nice haircut, you look great" to "Wow, that is really short!". Some people that I know have actually not even responded at all and never said a thing. That tells you that the act of changing your appearance in this day and age is really a non-event.
I am evenly tan now and into a shaving routine. Seems so carefree and natural now.
Also, it may only be in my head, but I get the feeling that more people are talking to me and seem more relaxed around me. My two boys that are in the early stages of losing their hair have been hanging out with me more in the last three weeks than ever before. They seem more comfortable around me too and I think more comfortable with their hairloss.
I saw an advertisement on television here in St. Louis for a hair replacement establishment here in town and I wanted to strangle the guy in the ad because he was so full of it about "hair systems" and being hair challenged.
The best thing though, is being able to open the windows and sunroof in my car and enjoy the wind blowing over my face and head without worrying about what my hair looks like! I even like wearing a baseball cap every once in a while now, which I never did with a hairpiece because I was afraid of what my hair would look like after I removed it.
I want to thank all of you again for a great forum with a great bunch of friends!!
Scott
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Scott, I give you the thumbs up for shedding the piece. It must feel like a load has been lifted off of your head.
It's hard to believe you have a 25 year old son. Bet people think you are brothers. Anyway, enjoy your new found freedom.
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Scott, Congrats on all the positive reinforcement on shaving your head....you seem truly happy and i know it took a lot of courage to do it. I think you will be an inspiration to others who want to do what you did. O0
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YEAH! Such good news!
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Again, I can't thank all of you enough!! 8)
Scott