Sly Bald Guys Forum
Confidence and Success => Business/Work => Topic started by: Hp291 on May 29, 2008, 08:56:58 PM
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Ever since I went bald, I left the workforce. It's been a long time. Work I have done has been from home with computers. I'd like to go back to the workforce and start something in terms of a career. Looking back, I wish I had majored in business but I didn't. I did minor in it though. I don't just want some "job". I want something I can be happy doing and can move up well in.
But at the same time, I isolated myself and have ZERO connections. Family is non-existant also. I'm all alone in this search.
And the reason I say I want to be happy doing it is because I don't want to dwell on my lack of hair the whole time. I have absolutely no idea what I want to do or what I can do. I thought about going back to school but I am mid 30's with nothing saved up so I don't want to owe a ton of money and not know if I will follow through with it.
Yes I know pretty freakin pathetic.
Any ideas would be helpful.....
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Ever considered sales?
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I see a lot of Sly guys in sales. Me included.
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Me too. Its a very distinguishing attribute. Speaking of sales Tyler, did the silicone bracelets go by the wayside?
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HP291 your not pathetic...what are your hobbies and interest? Online they have some career profile test that can help point you into a job that you would be happiest. The good test are not cheap but may be worth it if it helps you find a career path that you enjoy.
Being sly doesn't hinder your career...it actually I think helps. You get remembered.
Good Luck!
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Thats a tough one bro. Sounds like you are searching for some outside people contact. Working from home can be lonesome at times. To me, I wouldnt be happy in an office where I didnt have interactions with people thru out the day. Im a people person, but there are some people who would rather not deal one on one with people. Where is it that you live? The reason I say this is a tough one is because some people are happy working behind a grill flippin burgers, some need something more challenging. It all depends on what your interest are. If you decide to work in sales, you have to have that connection to your everyday person. Im am in sales and there are many of times I have to bite my tongue until that person leaves and then I just go off. The general public most of the time...they are just stupid. So find out what your interest are and go from there.
Timmay
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Yes I have but sales wasn't/isn't my thing.
I have taken those career tests. Hobbies? Sports, exercise. I go to movies. I am very good with a computer but I don't enjoy it at all. I'd love to work with a pro sports team on the business side if I could but I dont have the connects for that.
When you are bald and VERY insecure about it, it's hard to just go out and be yourself. I know others can do it but I haven't been able to. Been to therapy for years and it doesn't help because nothing someone tells me can change how I feel about myself.
I live in NYC. I can't move thought. Image is pretty big here let me tell you.
Yak, thanks for the nice words but I do know I am pathetic. I mean I have let hairloss destroy my life completely for many years. I barely step outside much less have a life.
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You gotta wanna help yourself first bro..before anyone can help you.
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You gotta wanna help yourself first bro..before anyone can help you.
Yes I know but i feel the way i do. It just doesn't seem to want to "go away" no matter what I do. Growing up in a completely abusive house hasn't helped my self esteem but it wouldn't be an issue if I hadn't lost all my hair so rapidly. My self image went from pretty bad to non existant, you know?
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sounds like you are using baldness as an excuse to throw up your arms and give up.
To me, its like a beautiful woman staying home because her boobs are not big enough or she has some wrinkles.
Sorry, but I have a hard time feeling a lot of sympathy for you if your main obstacle is hair loss. I have been through it, so have many on this board, and about 1 in 5 men in the world. Allowing this to stop you from living life or pursuing a career you want to pursue is a crime to yourself and to the career, friends, connections, colleagues and experiences that are waiting for you.
Everyone has their share of problems, and life isnt fair, but you only go around once man... better make the most of it because the only thing worse than fear is regret. If you dont overcome your fears and inhibitions, you have a lot of regret heading your way.
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Not looking for sympathy man. Just saying how it is and how it's been.From a practical sense, I agree with you.
I just don't have the type of emotional personality to be out there and feel comfortable. Or at least not yet. No being bald is just the tip of the iceberg but it IS what is keeping me from being productive out there.
So other than sales, anything else out there?
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First and foremost...you need to look at yourself and say the hell with it. This IS ME! It is obvious that you dotn find being bald unattractive when you see other guys. So there is some acceptance there. I know this may sound raw...but damn dude ....get out and enjoy life. Lets say you had some sort of health issue and you lost all of your hair and the dr's said you had a year to live. You gonna lock yourself up in the house and say your life is over? I know I wouldnt..but that is what you have done to yourself bro. If you want support on this...its here bro...but you have to want it. Build your self confidence up and then look for a job, because if your confidence is low...then your personality will soon follow. Dont give up bro.
Timmay
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Not looking for sympathy man. Just saying how it is and how it's been.From a practical sense, I agree with you.
I just don't have the type of emotional personality to be out there and feel comfortable. Or at least not yet. No being bald is just the tip of the iceberg but it IS what is keeping me from being productive out there.
So other than sales, anything else out there?
Yes, but are you looking for jobs you can do from home?
Or are you willing to go out in the world and take on a challenge. It is difficult to recomend a job when you have given us limited info and most of that is you dont want to intermingle with others.
What do you do for fun?
What skills do you have (other than computers).
Do you want to work with your hands, back or brain?
You said you have a minor in business, what did you major in?
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it's just hair....it's not like you got your wang cut off....(or did you..) j/k
you have to be comfortable with yourself. Baldness today is becoming more of an image and more mainstream then when many of us started. I see Bald executives, actors, game show host, doctors, nurses ext.. the possibilities are endless. ...
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No I don't want to work from home. I am willing to try going out there but it has to be something I want to do so my mind can be sort of distracted you know?
Yes I know it's just hair. It's not about that. There is a long backstory to this but my self esteem was always low. My whole life because every day I would hear at home how I was worthless and nothing. The only thing I had any confidence in was looking ok most days (had nice hair). In a matter of 2 years it all went away. And I couldn't handle it. There are people out there who make comments and look (ive seen it a millon times) and I don't want to be in that "spotlight". It's like hell to me.
Yes I occasionally see bald guys around. What doesn't help me is being a white guy with fair skin. I'm also very tall so I stand out already.
What kind of work do I want? Something I'll love and has a chance to distract me and make a pretty good living. Physical work is out because I have physical injuries like crazy (having back spasms right now as we speak).
For fun, I play sports (when I'm not hurt) and I work out (when not hurt). I go to movies and stuff. Reading is not something I do for fun because I have slight ADD when I try to read it's frustrating. I know computers (software and web stuff) but I don't "enjoy it". My absolute favorite thing in the world is sports (playing/watching). If I could have my way, I would work with one of the local pro teams in some business/marketing capacity like I said. But I don't have that sort of connection to get in there. I'd love it I think though.
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Well, there are only so many assumptions you can make. Just because you dont have connections does not mean that line of work is out, it just means you will have to start somewhere lower than the executive offices. Take a day and go to your local sports venue and ask around or send emails, make phone calls ask the ticket booth people whatever it takes to find out how to get involved in that industry. It may mean working at a minimal job for awhile until you prove yourself and make those connections.
Maybe try to get involved with a local college sports program and find what it is in that industry that you like and move up to the big leagues...
You got to start somewhere and showing a little assertiveness and persistence can show alot to a potential employer.
Just make a commitment that every day you will spend a certain amount of time trying to get to where you want to be.
Just leave the excuses behind.
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Get a grip, you need to start w/ a organization that provides sports opportunities to kids and others who REALLLY have problems. Take the NYC civil service exam and get into the recreation department, great money, NO, great rewards--fantastic because you will get far more than you give and you can give to the kids what you never got, positive reinforcement, etc. Until YOU give, you'll NEVER get.
Solution:
Shave that dying mop, put on a clean shirt, and go register for the exam. Cover every mirror, except when you shave, and think about and work to solve other people's problems--they have real ones and you can help them. While waiting for the exam results VOLUNTEER. It's give, give, give, and believe me life will follow. Giving is the fertilizer to help you get out of yourself and into life. You are in control--if you really want to get on, quit kvetching, go get a life.
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persistance...get a snazy resume and go visit the sports teams regularly to introduce yourself. You may have to start off at the bottom and work your way up but getting a foot in the door is important. Take anything they have then set your goals and work toward getting int he position that you really want to be in with them.
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I've been trying all that recently with the teams. Applying to almost any job (short of selling peanuts lol). I'm not against starting out entry level and moving up. It's all about getting in the door.
I've been sending my resume out the past 2 weeks and stuff. This is something I wasn't doing before. I mean it's all "easy" until I get an interview request. Then I'll see if I can go through with it. I'm almost trying to set myself up where an interview is set and I have no choice but to go. Might be my only choice.
I'll look into that civil exam thing and see if it's something I like and qualify for.
Thanks to the people giving suggestions. I know some might think "this guy is a loser and feels sorry for himself" and you are entitled, I'm just trying to move past it. But if I push too hard on myself, I do know I'll crash. Having self esteem is not something you can just create.
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I just have to ask... what is this "dwelling on being bald" stuff? :o
Bro, ya gotta know it's not a bad thing! That's why so many of us who have hair work so hard to keep it shaved off! :*))
As far as the job thing... I agree that liking what you do is important, very important.
I'd say, define your areas of interest, identify those jobs and go for it! If it means school and a little debt so what? You're going to be in debt one way or another so why not in debt to ensure a better future? O0
Good luck on your search. O:O
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i agree with the sarge.
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You mentioned having been in therapy as a result of an abusive childhood. I can relate. But the problem with a lot of therapists is that they are not comfortable with a client who is displaying anger about what happened. They would rather take you down the path of sadness and tears because it is easier for them to hand you a tissue than it would be to hold up a chair cushion or a punching bag and let you do a little "anger work". A lot of therapists, I suspect, were the victims of angry people as kids so when somebody starts punching a pillow in front of them they start to figure they might be next. They start looking for the Kleenex and they divert their client down a less dangerous road that usually involves crying.
It sounds like you have some anger work to do, bro! IMO that kind of $h!t has to be dealt with before you can make a whole lot of progress in other areas of your life. But you gotta get going on changing the way you see yourself in the world. You're no more and no less than any other mo-fo walking this planet. But somewhere along the line somebody convinced you that you're a doormat and you have chosen to believe it. Losing the hair is just a way for you to explain to the world how worthless you are and an excuse for you to isolate from everybody else.
My recommendation to you is to look up a thing called New Warrior Training. Look into that training as an adjunct to therapy. You get this "house-mouse" picture of yourself off your back and your life is gonna start to change.
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We are only trying to give you some good advice bro. You dont have to live yoru life this way. Wake up and realize this is your life...not your life of the past. Every day is a new day....it all depends on what kind of outlook you have for that day.
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Yes I occasionally see bald guys around. What doesn't help me is being a white guy with fair skin. I'm also very tall so I stand out already.
Brother I have a pretty good idea of what you've been through, I went through my own similar demons. Dude pick yourself up, kick your self in the butt and go for it. I know it sucks and its not easy but anything worth having isn't easy. Don't worry about what others think worry about you.
As far as standing out, Brother, I'm 6'5" and 300lbs they don't stand out much more than that, I don't hide well, be proud of it, and big "F"ing deal.
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Yeah trust me, I hear what you guys are saying. I'm a very logical person. At the same time, I just have ZERO confidence because I just don't feel comfortable with how I look. I would give anything to feel it.
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Y NOT go back to school and get that biz degree in marketing?
You look pretty young in your pic???
Have you considered maybe seeing someone? Counselor, pastor, psychologist, etc etc, etc, to maybe help get you some direction and feel a little better about yourself?
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You must have me confused with someone else. I did not post a pic.
And already talked about going to therapy experience before.
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sorry mixed your pic up.
Why isn't counseling or career counseling an option?
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Here are some job option that you may or may not enjoy
http://www.jobprofiles.org/library/guidance/weird-jobs.htm
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Having self esteem is not something you can just create.
Actually self esteem IS something you can just create ;)
Usually with hard work, effort and a positive attitude.
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Been to therapy for years and it doesn't help because nothing someone tells me can change how I feel about myself.
Therapy won't GIVE you the answers on a silver platter. There is no magic bullet.
But a therapist can HELP you figure out how to make positive change for yourself.
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Hi, enrol as a film extra, in england good money, they are always after someone a little different. It will give you confidence.Try to enjoy every second of life , in my younger days if u could not get a job u joined the army that usually sorted your head out and got u fit.
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OK back on topic.
I am looking for a career in an interesting field that would start out with a salary in the mid 30's (my last job before going to work on my own was in that range) which also increases with time and work.
What that job is, I still don't know. My best skills are that I am the type of person that is usually good at most things. I am pretty good with numbers. I am tireless in terms of work ethic in that if I have an assignment, I will break my ass until I finish it. Very good at using a computer, also can talk people into things pretty easily. Also love helping people. Sales is NOT something I am interested in.
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Maybe getting a job while you search for your dream job would help.
I cant help but think you are waiting for a life changing moment to knock on your door.
And sorry, but I doubt a person with the attitude you have expressed in your posts could talk me into anything less than free gold, even then it would take some doing.
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I have been. But want to get my mind set on a career and just go for it.
In terms of your doubting it, that's your opinion. But I don't see how hairloss/bald forums has to do with me being able to talk people into things. It's not!
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I have been. But want to get my mind set on a career and just go for it.
In terms of your doubting it, that's your opinion. But I don't see how hairloss/bald forums has to do with me being able to talk people into things. It's not!
Nah, I was referring to your confidence. It takes a lot of confidence to talk someone into something.
Regardless, it was simply an assumption based on the folks I have come in contact with.
Well it sounds like you have your mind set on a career in the pro sports biz, why not just go for that?
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HP291
To be blunt... it sounds to me like ya just need get off yer ass and make something happen. ???
Like Woody Allen said "90% of success is just showing up".
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well, I know this may sound like a recruiting poster, but have you ever considered any form of law enforcement?
That's what I do, and honestly, I never saw myself doing it until I put the uniform off and went away on training. I may only be 26, but let me tell you, I've had my fair share of jobs. The majority of them though were in some way shape or form dealing with and helping people. I was an orderly at a long term palliative care hospital, photographer, tour guide, translator, teacher and I've even done other things like DJ, bar tend, security, and hell, I was even a chimney sweeper for a while (yes, they are still around). I was doing some computer work, stats analysis and db stuff, for the government when I saw the poster for officers needed. The next week that's all I could think of was how lots of my jobs were public service, and so what would be more of a service than law enforcement (I don't just mean police but paramedics and firefighters also). I take great pleasure in helping others and that makes my job just that much more satisfying.
This isn't to tell you to jump up and go apply with your local PD, but just more to show you how things worked for me. Yes, I may only have a high school edjimication which I obtained at 16, but just looking back at my life, the jobs and volunteer work helped me realize that I NEEDED to get into this field. Now, it's who I am and like my recent decision to go Sly 4 months, it's a decision that I don't regret in the least bit.
One thing you have to do, that I learned when I lived in South America, is that you have to get away from our North American way of thinking. Don't live to work, WORK TO LIVE!!! Think of something that you love doing and what gives you pleasure and a sense of wellbeing, and then go from there and look at careers that deal with that.
Anyway, that's just my 2 cents! Cheers bro and best of luck in your job search!
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Military. O0
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I agree with Nick. Military sounds like a good option for you my man. It MAKES you have discipline, confidence and it will boost your morale.
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I agree with Nick. Military sounds like a good option for you my man. It MAKES you have discipline, confidence and it will boost your morale.
It really does my friend! Like it or not the service will teach you leadership, discipline, reliability, how to adapt, how to deal with stress, ect... Too much to list. It took me out of a dead end bad situation and gave me a wonderful life that I am thankful for everyday!
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Military/police are not options for me.
I am too old.
I have way too many injuries.
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Nah, I was referring to your confidence. It takes a lot of confidence to talk someone into something.
Regardless, it was simply an assumption based on the folks I have come in contact with.
Well it sounds like you have your mind set on a career in the pro sports biz, why not just go for that?
It honestly depends. For example, I can still talk my way into stuff that others cannot. But that is only if my head is covered with something or I'm on phone. Some of that gets tainted if I"m not I'm sure.
It's not SET on it. But it's something I would love to do and have a tremendous passion for. But I'm struggling finding a way in. Simple applying (which I have done) isn't working. I have been trying to talk to everyone I know to see if they know ANYONE in the business but no one does. I plan to keep trying though.
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^^^
Applying won't get you sh*t.
You might want to try some informational interviewing.
Cold call some muckity mucks in that industry and ask if you can do an information interview with them -- heck even offer to buy them lunch during the interview -- that way you can learn right from the horses mouth what you need to get into it and make some contacts at the same time.
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Applying won't get you sh*t.
You might want to try some informational interviewing.
Cold call some muckity mucks in that industry and ask if you can do an information interview with them -- heck even offer to buy them lunch during the interview -- that way you can learn right from the horses mouth what you need to get into it and make some contacts at the same time.
Yeah I've noticed. I had a career coach I spoke to briefly (didnt charge me) mention looking for these. The problem is that this type of position is very hard to get into unles you know someone and I don't know anyone. I have been looking the past few days for people in these organizations to contact. Most don't have contact information. Obviously you can't go through the HR department as they won't give you anything.
I have been looking for people for the informational interview though.
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Anyone here have any connections to the MLB industry? That might be helpful. Thanks.
The worst part about all this is knowing that guys I went to school with who were/are dumb are now successful in life while I am waddling in my 30's with nothing. Ugh!!
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After I got my first college degree, I was unable to find a job that I could get with it(due to licensing requirements in different states), so I decided to continue my education and make myself more valuable to a future employer. An expensive fix, but hey, there is not better investment than your education.
This may not be an option but I don't have to start paying my student loans off for a while.
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If anyone is wondering about if you can get to the C level position with a shaved head, just look at our new member who's a CIO (Chief Information Officer)
http://www.slybaldguys.com/smf/index.php?topic=5833.msg99345#msg99345
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DUDE, DUDE AND DUDE,
First let may say I didn't read all the replies, but I am shocked how you are taking this bald thing. Trust me, I am bald by choice and when I'm having a day where I'm down on myself and not feeling good, it has nothing to do with whether I have hair or not.
Do you realize it is 2008 and every other guy is walking around with a bald head (mostly by choice). I can understand that you have no confidence because you were brought up in an abusive dysfunctional family, but being bald is really not an excuse.
You really have to let go of what is holding you back. Write down everything you feel is making you stuck on a piece of paper. Take the paper and rip it off. Make a pack with yourself that once you rip up all these things are now the past.
I do this every so often when I have regrets. I call it my "If Only List". Once I burn the list or rip it up. I have no choice but to let go of these things that are making me stuck and move on.
If someone was as down on you as you are on yourself, you would kick their ass. Don't be your own worst enemy. As you already know, people can let you down so don't let yourself down.
I can tell you all these things because I have struggled with self confidence my whole life and everyday is a struggle, but I move forward because I owe it to myself.
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DUDE, DUDE AND DUDE,
First let may say I didn't read all the replies, but I am shocked how you are taking this bald thing. Trust me, I am bald by choice and when I'm having a day where I'm down on myself and not feeling good, it has nothing to do with whether I have hair or not.
Do you realize it is 2008 and every other guy is walking around with a bald head (mostly by choice). I can understand that you have no confidence because you were brought up in an abusive dysfunctional family, but being bald is really not an excuse.
You really have to let go of what is holding you back. Write down everything you feel is making you stuck on a piece of paper. Take the paper and rip it off. Make a pack with yourself that once you rip up all these things are now the past.
I do this every so often when I have regrets. I call it my "If Only List". Once I burn the list or rip it up. I have no choice but to let go of these things that are making me stuck and move on.
If someone was as down on you as you are on yourself, you would kick their ass. Don't be your own worst enemy. As you already know, people can let you down so don't let yourself down.
I can tell you all these things because I have struggled with self confidence my whole life and everyday is a struggle, but I move forward because I owe it to myself.
Nicely put my bald friend! O0
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Originally posted by Baldandre
Nicely put my bald friend!
Hey Andre,
Thanks BA. You know kids can be crue. Being the shortest guy in the class all the time I was an easy target. This stuff even stays with you as an adult.
However, I started playing in bands and lifting weights and finally by the end of high school I was cool.
Till this day I always have a soft spot for the shy kid.
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If anyone is wondering about if you can get to the C level position with a shaved head, just look at our new member who's a CIO (Chief Information Officer)
http://www.slybaldguys.com/smf/index.php?topic=5833.msg99345#msg99345
Yes indeed - that would be me. The suggestion of going in the military would be great if you were able. Trust me, I had a pretty awful upbringing - I won't delve into too deeply - but for the sake of helping you HP - here is a tidbit:
My father left when I was two and my sister was a newborn.
My mom married a man when I was 4 and he died from cancer when I was 7
My mom tried to commit suicide shortly thereafter
My mom eventually worked at a seedy truckstop where she eventually turned to prostitution - bringing these guys back to where we lived
My sister and I were verbally abused on a daily basis - called every foul mouthed word in the book
Fast forward to my high school years - moved to a different state - was a geek in school but had good friends (Drama Club, German Club - no sports because I thought I wouldn't fit in)
Decided to go in the Navy with my best bud on the Buddy Program - they offered a 3 year sign-up for a program called Sea College Program.
Spent 3 years in the Navy - saw some of the world - got money to go to college
Went to college - majored in pre-med for one year before switching to Geology - wound up with my Master's in Geology
Moved from PA to KS for a woman I met - took the first job I could find which happened to be in IT - figured I would find a job in geology eventually.
I had a natural aptitude for computers - advanced quickly - got certs (CNE, MCSE, CCNA, CCA - Citrix, etc.)
Got interested in improving the organization - they paid for me to go to school for Six Sigma - got my Six Sigma Black Belt
Used that to improve services and outcomes - was recognized by getting promoted - wound up at director level
Applied for a CIO position a few years later - got the job with a foot long beard and tattoos (covered up of course at the time).
Today, I am still in that position - bald dome, beard, tats - been there long enough that no one "stares" or gives me a second look anymore. Just gotta remember to always smile and FORCE yourself to project a postive attitude even when you are having a horrible day.
Trust me, if I can do it - so can you. I may not be extremely tall and stick out like that - matter fact I am pretty darned short (5' 7") and stocky (215 lbs) - but the beard, tats and dome can make you stick out like a sore thumb.
HP - it's all about trying to get your foot in the door - you say you have a strong work ethic - do whatever you have to to get in the door - GO on those interviews - put your best game face on - fake it 'til you make it - then soon enough you will prove yourself via your hard work and THAT is what people will see - your height, your head - none of that will matter in the least to others. Trust me - I know.
Regards,
Matthew
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^^ Great story Sir!
I totally agree with you there about joining the Military. To me there is no bad that can out of that. Its a win/win situation. Even if it isnt for someone, you can always take advantage of the free education
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In 1971 I was drafted into the US Army and did a tour in Viet Nam. At the age of 19 it seemed like the worst possible thing that could ever happen. Now at 56 years of age I can see that it was one of the best things that ever happened in my life. It opened me up to a whole series of opportunities I would have never had if I'd stayed in my small southern town.
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Yes indeed - that would be me. The suggestion of going in the military would be great if you were able. Trust me, I had a pretty awful upbringing - I won't delve into too deeply
That just goes to show that people (like you) are resilient and can overcome obstacles in their environment if their heart and mind is put to it.
My hat's off to you sir.
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Have you thought of Career Counseling?
A good chunk of clinical training that psychologists go through is career counseling. And then many counselors and therapists SPECIALIZE in it.
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Yes I thought about career counseling before. Just not my thing though.
I'm too old and too injured for the military. If I listed the injuries I have sustained, people would be like WOW.
Keeper, sorry to hear about your background. Some of it sounds familiar. Some sounds worse. Some of mine is by far worse. I'm very happy you have moved past it though. I'm trying bro. Maybe someday I finally can.
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Yes I thought about career counseling before. Just not my thing though.
I'm too old and too injured for the military. If I listed the injuries I have sustained, people would be like WOW.
Well, I haven't read every word of this post...but I gather that the advice you seek is being met with excuse after excuse. Yer in good company with folks around here who live and thrive despite pretty nasty sh*t life has dealt'm.
I'm sorry to hear about the sucker punches life has dealt you. And I certainly don't mean to sound insensitive and unsympathetic.
But do you really want advice or do you want some cheese with that whine? :-[
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Well, I haven't read every word of this post...but I gather that the advice you seek is being met with excuse after excuse. Yer in good company with folks around here who live and thrive despite pretty nasty sh*t life has dealt'm.
I'm sorry to hear about the sucker punches life has dealt you. And I certainly don't mean to sound insensitive and unsympathetic.
But do you really want advice or do you want some cheese with that whine? :-[
They aren't excuses. If I didn't try things, they would be. If someone says "shave your head" so I shave my head and I don't like it, it's an excuse? Am I suposed to like what others like?
I'm more tellling my story, as well as reading opinions from other baldies in the world. Do you honestly think that I haven't been able to move past there for so long that I would read a post and that would be the ticket lol?
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A good kick up the backside is what u need,
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I think you are a ninja at avoiding things really.
Almost everything I do I could probably think up 20 reasons why not to do them... sometimes I can only think of one reason TO do them but sometimes thats all you need.
No one is expecting you to like anything other than what you truly like or do what you dont want to do... You come here, dump out this whole situation to which everyone gives you some solid sound advise... and each is countered with a reason why that is not an option.
It really is beginning to sound like unless someone is going to post up, "I have an immediate opening with the (insert pro sports name here) and I want you for the job" You are just going to continue this pattern of complaining about your life and how X Y and Z are to blame for it and A B and C are why you cant get where you need to go.
Now you can call these what you want but these are dictionary definitions of excuses.
Seriously man, if its not injuries, its your hard life, if its not the hard life its being bald, if its not being bald, you dont have connections if its not connections its something else...
until you stop blaming other stuff for your lot in life, you can expect to be where you are now and never change. You say you want things to change but every avenue seems to be roadblocked by something YOU are roadblocking it with.
All the great advise in the world wont help you if you don't take it.
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I'm sorry but some of the suggestions are just that, and don't take into account certain things. Why not just suggest someone become a model and totally disregard the fact that they don't look like one? That is why I brought up the injuries in context of joining the military which I am too old to do anyway.
No i'm not expecting that. I did ask if anyone has any contact here in that industry and not one person has said yes or even no. The question just got totally ignored.
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By this point, you should be the one with those contacts.
I'm just sayin'
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But I don't and I said that initially. So that statement serves no purpose.
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^^^^
I don't think UR getting what Marz is laying down.
You should be getting the contacts and putting together a plan to do what you need to do. It seems you really have a reason why every bit of advice given here is inadequate. Did you want someone to just hand you a top level job in the area you want?
You've got to put a plan together, start at the bottom and bust your hump.
In addition asking for and getting a contact from someone here is unlikely and pointless -- because people here don't know you from a hole in the ground --- so why would they risk their own professional reputation giving you any kind of recommendation?
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^^^^
I don't think UR getting what Marz is laying down.
You should be getting the contacts and putting together a plan to do what you need to do. It seems you really have a reason why every bit of advice given here is inadequate. Did you want someone to just hand you a top level job in the area you want?
You've got to put a plan together, start at the bottom and bust your hump.
In addition asking for and getting a contact from someone here is unlikely and pointless -- because people here don't know you from a hole in the ground --- so why would they risk their own professional reputation giving you any kind of recommendation?
THANK YOU PSHRYNK!
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I don't want a personal recommendation. But if someone who has contacts in that industry might be able to ask them what is the best route to take.
I have been doing my research on the subject. But there are just so many people trying for so very few jobs that's it almost impossible unless you know someone are are incredibly overqualified.
As a matter of fact, I have an information meeting this weekend on the topic. But hey, I guess I"m not doing anything at all right?
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I don't want a personal recommendation. But if someone who has contacts in that industry might be able to ask them what is the best route to take.
I have been doing my research on the subject. But there are just so many people trying for so very few jobs that's it almost impossible unless you know someone are are incredibly overqualified.
As a matter of fact, I have an information meeting this weekend on the topic. But hey, I guess I"m not doing anything at all right?
What is an information meeting? Whatever it is glad to hear you are taking action.
Have you tried minor league or college?
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Informational meeting this week. Sorry typo. Just to learn from people in the industry about how it all works and so forth.
Honestly though? I am too old to go kicking around the minors, even if I could (as competitive as the others). I am gonna go to this thing, see what's what.
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Informational meeting this week. Sorry typo. Just to learn from people in the industry about how it all works and so forth.
Honestly though? I am too old to go kicking around the minors, even if I could (as competitive as the others). I am gonna go to this thing, see what's what.
Well hey, at lest your doing something.
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Yeah was a lot of talk about getting more schooling. Only 50K plus to borrow lol. What I think is going to happen honestly is I am going to have a massive nervous breakdown. I mean thinking about this stuff and worrying about it 24/7, 365 days a year will do that to you. I can't do anything or go anywhere without worrying about the future, as well as being bald.
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The more isolated me make ourselves the smaller our comfort zone becomes. I honestly don't think its being bald or the future exclusively that is messing with you but more your disappointment in yourself for not being able to overcome it.
I really suggest you force yourself into a situation that you are unable to take shelter in your comfort zone (your house / apartment). Maybe sign up for something that will get you interacting with people a little more and reduce the macro focus you have on yourself.
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This is true. I have issues with my mind. I overthink things in both good ways and very bad too. I jokingly ask my g/f to hit me in the head with a bat so I can get amnesia. I think that might work lol.
But trust me, it's the baldness and how I feel I look combined with how people react to it which is holding me back. i don't want to be the guy where people look at your head (and they do, ive done it, others do it all the time) or the guy where I get jokes about it. Im TOO sensitive about the issue to take a joke about it.
But I agree about signing up for stuff. Just haven't quite figured out what it is. Part of me is considering just trying to get a job and forcing myself to endure the turmoil. I'll either deal with it or more likely, have 324234234 panic attacks every day. But hey, it's an option right?
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This is true. I have issues with my mind. I overthink things in both good ways and very bad too. I jokingly ask my g/f to hit me in the head with a bat so I can get amnesia. I think that might work lol.
But trust me, it's the baldness and how I feel I look combined with how people react to it which is holding me back. i don't want to be the guy where people look at your head (and they do, ive done it, others do it all the time) or the guy where I get jokes about it. Im TOO sensitive about the issue to take a joke about it.
But I agree about signing up for stuff. Just haven't quite figured out what it is. Part of me is considering just trying to get a job and forcing myself to endure the turmoil. I'll either deal with it or more likely, have 324234234 panic attacks every day. But hey, it's an option right?
Which is why you should REALLY find a good therapist or counselor that you can connect with and get help to get over this rough patch and get on with your life.
The BS excuse you gave before is that you had been to therapy before and it didn't help....
How about rather than blaming the therapist that was trying to help you --- maybe take a good long look at yourself....
Perhaps therapy didn't work because you weren't committed to making your life better?
Ask yourself.. .why is it everyones fault but yours?
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Plenty of people in religious work who have been down and coming back up ... not many are self-righteous, since most of us know we're broke and can't fix ourselves ... if you're not the praying type, sorry for the imposition ... but it works for me ... peace, bro.
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^^^
Brilliant idea, faith of all kinds is a crucial support for lots of people.
Hp291?
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I never BLAMED anyone. Where do I blame people? I blame my hairloss and how it makes me feel. That's all. I tried about 4 therapists. Sorry I forgot the shrink. That makes 5. I tried many different kinds of therapies: CBT, talk, meds, EMDR, energy healing even lol. I'm not talking out of my ass here. My point was that it's not a logical thing. I'm not someone who comes from an abusive home and abuses their wife and kids and doesn't know why. I'm not closed off where I don't talk about how I feel. My problem is I feel everything. And this baldness just killed me. So nothing a therapist said or could say can change how I feel. I have to feel differently. Have tried many different things to feel diifferently. It's a very slow process.
And no I'm not religious and I think religion is silly to begin with. I have had it suggested to me before. You didn't offend me with the suggestion or anything. I'll listen to any suggestions.
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I tried about 4 therapists. Sorry I forgot the shrink. That makes 5. I tried many different kinds of therapies: CBT, talk, meds, EMDR, energy healing even lol. I'm not talking out of my ass here. My point was that it's not a logical thing. I'm not someone who comes from an abusive home and abuses their wife and kids and doesn't know why. I'm not closed off where I don't talk about how I feel. My problem is I feel everything. And this baldness just killed me. So nothing a therapist said or could say can change how I feel. I have to feel differently. Have tried many different things to feel diifferently. It's a very slow process.
Bald shmald. It's another excuse.
So if you've seen 5 therapists and made no progress.... What does that tell YOU about YOU.
The life change you want to make is largely about taking personal responsibility and learning how to best improve yourself.
Again, it has nothing to do with what the therapist says or does --- it's about what YOU do!!!
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It's another excuse.....it's about what YOU do!!!
There is a point....therapy or more therapy....where you have to...HAVE TO, MAN....have to accept responsibility to cowboy up.....get out there and quit whinin' about it.....
DISCLAIMER: If you're bi-polar, manic depressive, or have other diagnosed mental issues....then we all need to be understanding, sympathetic and back off and hope for the best for ya, man....leave it to the professionals.
Other than that, we understand it's "a process" of sorts but....It's kinda like reading books on job hunting.....You can read all the best books (The best "5")....you can learn and internalize all the methods.....absorb all the great input....even read more great books.....go to the best seminars.
But ya ain't gonna get nowhere until ya put the suit on and hit the bricks, baby.
As a sales manager I used to be EXASPERATED by whiny sales folk who complained about not making enough money, or how bad their territory was, or how bad this or that was.....I'd hand them great sales reading material...point them to excellent seminars....
Sales can be scary....push ya outa yer comfort zone....but these pantywastes were wasting all their time whinin' and not gettin' out and gettin' in front of people.....cowboyin' up.....doin' what ya have to do REGARDLESS OF INWARD RESISTANCE (one of my favorite bytes).
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DISCLAIMER: If you're bi-polar, manic depressive, or have other diagnosed mental issues....then we all need to be understanding, sympathetic and back off and hope for the best for ya, man....leave it to the professionals.
Good point,
....however, even if their are mental health issues there is still an element of personal responsibility -- about getting the help you need and taking care of yourself.
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Hey man,
I sure don't have all the answers for you but here are a few thoughts. First don't live your life looking in the rear view mirror. You are sure to crash every time. Take a few moments, hours or days for some quite time. Turn everything and I mean everything off and just contemplate what you want to do with your life. Its amazing what can come to you in silence. Think about the things you really like doing and maybe there is something out there related to your passions in life.
I understand what you are going through in a way. I have been in the pest control businesss since in my twenties. Alot of it involves crawling under homes and up into attics almost daily. First from the physical aspect my body is telling me...hey man..its time for a change. Second I am just really burned out on it.
Alot of what I do involves selling and customer relations so I will most likely go into another sales field and as stated on earlier posts there are alot of SLY guys in sales.
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Hey man,
I sure don't have all the answers for you but here are a few thoughts. First don't live your life looking in the rear view mirror. You are sure to crash every time. Take a few moments, hours or days for some quite time. Turn everything and I mean everything off and just contemplate what you want to do with your life. Its amazing what can come to you in silence. Think about the things you really like doing and maybe there is something out there related to your passions in life.
I understand what you are going through in a way. I have been in the pest control businesss since in my twenties. Alot of it involves crawling under homes and up into attics almost daily. First from the physical aspect my body is telling me...hey man..its time for a change. Second I am just really burned out on it.
Alot of what I do involves selling and customer relations so I will most likely go into another sales field and as stated on earlier posts there are alot of SLY guys in sales.
Yeah bro. What I have been trying to do the past month is win small "battles". Doing things bald I didn't do before. They aren't much in the grand scheme of things but for me, it's a lot. An example would be I had to drive about 45 minutes away. I took my cap off and drove the whole way. I had never done that before, especially daytime with the window open. While that might seem stupid to some, it's like a big victory for me.
I hear you about sales. I'm sure there are. But this thing has totally wrecked my confidence so I need to work around that right now.
In terms of shutting things off like you suggested, I have been struggling with that. I am have been meditating for years and those thoughts pop in all the time. I dont' think I go anywhere at any time where I don't think about hair at least most of the time. And if there are people around, I look at all their hair. It stinks lol. A shovel to the head to cause amnesia might be good for me.
I am wondering how I will handle a first interview. First one bald. I'm sure i'll be nervous as heck and not about the interview itself. That part is easy. Nervous about how the guy/girl sittingon the other end is viewing me.
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Hi, is it your appearance that is upsetting u so much. Look at the pictures on here, some are not that handsome but all are confident. Try to change how u look, i like the tanned and gold earings stuff, others like sunglasses, hides there face LOL, others beards, tashes etc. Try them all u will get one u like. Does not have to cost much cheap fake gold, sunglases etc, I am sure we would all give u something, even some of my gold and and fake tan, others seem to have a lot of sunglases, facial hair costs . nothing. Try a picture on here I am sure we can get u looking good.
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Yeah bro. What I have been trying to do the past month is win small "battles". Doing things bald I didn't do before. They aren't much in the grand scheme of things but for me, it's a lot. An example would be I had to drive about 45 minutes away. I took my cap off and drove the whole way. I had never done that before, especially daytime with the window open. While that might seem stupid to some, it's like a big victory for me.
This is a great example of moving forward, I have chimed in so many times on this thread because I cant stand to see someone just flounder like a fish on a beach...
You need to do more of that and set goals.. maybe go somewhere public without a hat once a day...
I am wondering how I will handle a first interview. First one bald. I'm sure i'll be nervous as heck and not about the interview itself. That part is easy. Nervous about how the guy/girl sittingon the other end is viewing me.
Dude, you seriously care WAY too much about what other people think... some times you just have to say *&%# it.
What about when you had hair, I am sure people thought you were a douche once in awhile then... are you convinced that if you had hair it would make people think that much differently of you?
Do you really think people have that much focus on you, and even the few that do notice you , why on earth would they care what you look like for?
Dude, you are not that important.
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Hi, is it your appearance that is upsetting u so much. Look at the pictures on here, some are not that handsome but all are confident. Try to change how u look, i like the tanned and gold earings stuff, others like sunglasses, hides there face LOL, others beards, tashes etc. Try them all u will get one u like. Does not have to cost much cheap fake gold, sunglases etc, I am sure we would all give u something, even some of my gold and and fake tan, others seem to have a lot of sunglases, facial hair costs . nothing. Try a picture on here I am sure we can get u looking good.
I think it's two-fold. I am not happy about losing my hair the way I did (so rapidly). It's also about how others see me and what they think. Yeah I know I should care what people think but I do. I mean I think most people do. Why bother to wear nice clothes then if you don't care how you look? That sort of thing.
I agree about the confidence some have here. I have no idea where it comes from. I mean I am in decent shape but it doesn't give me the full confidence I want. I was actually at one point considering putting one photo up here but my other post being pulled has completely changed the view. I have a question. Do you get bald jokes made at all around you?
Yeah I have actually looked into tanning butnot sure how safe that is year round. I already use self tanner but it doesn't help that much. Jewelry is not my thing. I do mess around with goatees quite a bit though. Trying to decide on which one works best. To be honest, the full beard look with a bald head to me looks too psycho killer or lumberjack-ish so I never went that route. I am still debating the tanning thing though.
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Do you get bald jokes made at all around you?
In close to 15 years being bald by choice, THAT (bald jokes) has never and will never be an issue..
ok my 4 yr old niece thinks it's funny to play drums on it! ;)
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Yeah I have actually looked into tanning butnot sure how safe that is year round. I already use self tanner but it doesn't help that much. Jewelry is not my thing. I do mess around with goatees quite a bit though. Trying to decide on which one works best. To be honest, the full beard look with a bald head to me looks too psycho killer or lumberjack-ish so I never went that route. I am still debating the tanning thing though.
Do not use a tanning salon. The tanning bed is worse than the UV rays from the sun. Some places use spray tanning systems similar to air brushing. That method is safe, but can be expensive.
Hp, did you try the Jergens Natural Glo product? That works well.
I just grew my goat out and my boys, nephews and nieces aren't scared of me. I smile a lot, so maybe that makes the difference. Don't be such a gloomy guy. If you put a smile on your face, your bald head wouldn't appear to be so bad to others.
I'm not a pyscho killer or a lumberjack. I'm just Ben the regular guy next door that just happens to have a shaved head. 8)
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Do not use a tanning salon. The tanning bed is worse than the UV rays from the sun. Some places use spray tanning systems similar to air brushing. That method is safe, but can be expensive.
Hp, did you try the Jergens Natural Glo product? That works well.
I just grew my goat out and my boys, nephews and nieces aren't scared of me. I smile a lot, so maybe that makes the difference. Don't be such a gloomy guy. If you put a smile on your face, your bald head wouldn't appear to be so bad to others.
I'm not a pyscho killer or a lumberjack. I'm just Ben the regular guy next door that just happens to have a shaved head. 8)
Actually I bought two of them, per suggestions I read on this site. Jergens natural glow and also Neutrogena natural glow. I have been using it for about 3 weeks. Don't notice much of a difference with it. I have been using it every day, sometimes 2 times a day.
I also use Neutrogena self tanner.
You are right though. I do need to smile more.
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Hi, try tanning wipes, instant results, beards ok for job inter, wives, they do not like u looking to good.Try mirror sunglasses gives u the confidence of people looking at u and they do not like there reflection.If u are not overweight u look already better than most of us from the neck down.Do not worry about post been pulled I had 2 this week.Wear nice clothes etc
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Ok I need some quick advice. I have a job interview but it's not really the job I want. But hey you have to start somewhere.
I'm scared to death as this would be the first time I would be doing it bald. Talk about pressure right?
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And no I'm not religious and I think religion is silly to begin with. I have had it suggested to me before. You didn't offend me with the suggestion or anything. I'll listen to any suggestions.
Know of my prayers (silly or not) for your continued success, healing, and growth.
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....I think religion is silly
OMG....well...nevermind...you poor soul....that means yer on yer own....
Never question God's existance in His presence...
Could this violate the religion guidelines and get this thread pulled....
God, I hope so.....
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OMG....well...nevermind...you poor soul....that means yer on yer own....
Never question God's existance in His presence...
Could this violate the religion guidelines and get this thread pulled....
God, I hope so.....
Jeez I can't post without you following me.
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OK it's been about a week and half since my one interview. Haven't had any since. Been trying though every single day. I'm still wondering what kind of career can I have. I have tried contacting pertty much anyone I know to see if they can hook me up with something (so many people get jobs through friends) but so far that hasn't worked out. I hope it does but in the meantime I am continuing to look around.
But I do have to say, the longer between the last interview, the more my confidence seems to be going down. I know some people here will jump on that, and if you must then do so, I'm just saying how I feel about it. I hope I can bag something soon to get out of this hell I'm in.
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Hang in there man... something will come up. Glad to hear your still trying.
Meanwhile....
Go take your head for a walk.
Get out and enjoy the summer time without a hat... the more you do it, the better you will feel.
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Hang in there man... something will come up. Glad to hear your still trying.
Meanwhile....
Go take your head for a walk.
Get out and enjoy the summer time without a hat... the more you do it, the better you will feel.
I think I need to be in a job first. If I am forced to be hatless for hours in front of people for work, then doing the walk around would be easier I think.
I'm trying to hang in there. But if people aren't giving me interviews or hiring, there isn't much I can do. I am trying every single option available to me. I need to find something before the end of the summer.
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there's a job for you right there...
http://mcdonalds.com/ (http://mcdonalds.com/)
and you'd get to wear a hat all day! :px
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Well at least u are trying.In England to many do not want to work, get paid to stay at home, they are bone idle.
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Well at least u are trying.In England to many do not want to work, get paid to stay at home, they are bone idle.
Same problem here in the States. Here in Myrtle Beach there are alot of summer jobs that would be ideal for younger people during vacation. Employers are having a hell of a time filling them because all kids now a days want to do is lay around, play video games and chat on MySpace.
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there's a job for you right there...
http://mcdonalds.com/ (http://mcdonalds.com/)
and you'd get to wear a hat all day! :px
Not nice. :(
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there's a job for you right there...
http://mcdonalds.com/ (http://mcdonalds.com/)
and you'd get to wear a hat all day! :px
Not nice. :(
But true!
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Working at a crap job like that will just make me feel worse, trust me. I need something I can be proud of to at least get by with this hairloss thing.
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The fact is that if you want something badly enough you can do anything. Well almost anything, I probably couldnt become a hairdresser ;) But what i more mean is that you have to seperate the hairloss with the job search. You speak as if they are synonomous with one another and the shouldnt be.
Alternatively get a job as a sports consultant like me. Good job, senior when i want to be but can get away with wearing shorts in the office!! And, when i was in a darker place with my hairloss i could wear a cap! Didnt fool anyone though they just thought i was daft for wearing a cap indoors lol.
PS are you ever going to post a pic in your avatar so we can see how terrible you look?
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A job is a job no matter what it is. You will get more respect working than not.It does not matter were u work or what u do, Mcdonalds or in a bank etc, I bet u would have a lot of fun, u can work your way up.Surely someone on here owns there own buisness and can give him a trial, at least he wants to work.
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Working at a crap job like that will just make me feel worse, trust me. I need something I can be proud of to at least get by with this hairloss thing.
To me that's utter BS.
Be proud to be working and supporting yourself and contributing to your community -- that should make you feel better -- who cares what the job is?
A job is a job is a job.
Like no1birdman said: "You will get more respect working than not"
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The fact is that if you want something badly enough you can do anything. Well almost anything, I probably couldnt become a hairdresser ;) But what i more mean is that you have to seperate the hairloss with the job search. You speak as if they are synonomous with one another and the shouldnt be.
Alternatively get a job as a sports consultant like me. Good job, senior when i want to be but can get away with wearing shorts in the office!! And, when i was in a darker place with my hairloss i could wear a cap! Didnt fool anyone though they just thought i was daft for wearing a cap indoors lol.
PS are you ever going to post a pic in your avatar so we can see how terrible you look?
Hey,
If you don't mind me asking, how did you get into that sort of career (sports consulting)?
And basically what do you do?
Thanks bro.
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OK Update. I got the rejection letter from the job. I didn't get another interview in over a month. It's not easy with my background or lack of one, due to hairloss. I keep trying though. It's very tiring mentally I have to say.
I did get 2 other interviews. I went on them and I guess they were better. Have not heard back from either though and did get the "this is the beginning of a process" and "we have other interviews scheduled" lines at the end, which I know is never a good thing to hear on an interview.
So back to square one I guess. :(
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Hair loss has nothing to do with it. Don't blame it on that.