Sly Bald Guys Forum
Various Non-Bald Discussions => Jokes => Topic started by: buddha on April 13, 2008, 07:03:36 PM
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A sailor, shipwrecked on a desert island, had as his only companions a male pitbull and a ewe. After several days the sailor began to think lascivious thoughts about the ewe but every time he would attempt an approach the pitbull would square off, bare his fangs, and force the sailor to retreat.
One day, sitting on the beach and pondering his options, the sailor observed a raft floating a couple hundred yards offshore with a person lying on the raft, apparently unconscious. The sailor dove into the ocean swam out to the raft and pulled it to shore.
Having pulled the raft up onto the beach he looked at the person on the raft and saw that it was Paris Hilton wearing a pair of Timmay's red and whites. He lifted her off the raft and carried her into the trees where he set her gently in the shade and began to give her small sips of water. As she regained consciousness she looked at him and said, "you have saved my life and it is my wish to repay your bravery and kindness. If there is anything that you would have me do you need only ask. I don't care what it is, just ask me and I'll do it.....as long as it's hot.
The sailor, being a well-read and fairly cerebral fellow, thought about it and a twinkle came to his eye. "Would you mind keeping an eye on that pitbull for a few minutes?"
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LOL
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Good one buddha :*)) :*))
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I get it!!Hilary Clinton is so damn butt ugly, He would rather have sex with the female sheep rather than her.
Good one Buddha
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Now THAT'S putting Shillary to good use!
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:-X
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i feel sorry for the poor dog.
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Let's be good, or I will start telling jokes about having sex with old lady Bush!
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Let's be good, or I will start telling jokes about having sex with old lady Bush!
I think that would be great, they're all fair game. I await Bush jokes. Is that what they call double entendre?
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I don't think I would go near either Bush!
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I don't think I would go near either Bush!
And sighs of relief were heard from Crawford to Kennebunkport ... ^-^
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I heard that in some states it's still legal to make a ewe turn on any road other than a major interstate!
RR
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One of my favorite Bushies:
Q: How many Bush Administration officials does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: None. There is nothing wrong with the light bulb; it's conditions are improving every day. Any reports of its lack of incandescence are delusional spin from the liberal media. That light bulb has served honorably, and anything you say undermines the lighting effect. Why do you hate freedom?
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Funny, you could substitute any ugly woman for Hillary and the premise of the joke remains the same.
For the record, I was not the one that brought partisanship into this thread (sorry, treading lightly on the boards these days).
By the way, I do have several Democrat / light bulb jokes that I'll keep to myself.
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Geez, we just can't seem to stay away from politics these days.
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I agree Tom.
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I agree Tom.
Big Ditto!!!
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A joke about anyone running for the presidency is political no matter how you cut it...just looking for equal time...not fights...
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And Schro, post away with your jokes...I didn't say the Hillary one wasn'y funny ;)
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Funny, you could substitute any ugly woman for Hillary and the premise of the joke remains the same.
For the record, I was not the one that brought partisanship into this thread (sorry, treading lightly on the boards these days).
By the way, I do have several Democrat / light bulb jokes that I'll keep to myself.
Was it partisanship or a question about the sexual preference of this particular sailor?
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Funny, you could substitute any ugly woman for Hillary and the premise of the joke remains the same.
For the record, I was not the one that brought partisanship into this thread (sorry, treading lightly on the boards these days).
By the way, I do have several Democrat / light bulb jokes that I'll keep to myself.
Was it partisanship or a question about the sexual preference of this particular sailor?
My partisanship point wasn't about the original joke, buddha. Shoot, you could have substituted Oprah, Roseanne, Joy Beyhart (sp), Rosie, etc. and had the same effect. The fact that it was the Senator from New York is probably why Koaa threatened to bring Bush into the thread and why KollegeKreed threw in his republican zinger (one of his "Bushies").
And KK, if I "post away" with my democratic jokes it will instigate a fight and you know it. Why would you want that?
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I would hope not! One would think everyone's old enough to play nice
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I would hope not! One would think everyone's old enough to play nice
You're new around here, aren't you? ;)
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I would hope not! One would think everyone's old enough to play nice
You're new around here, aren't you? ;)
What gave you that impression RazorX? O:O
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I would hope not! One would think everyone's old enough to play nice
You're new around here, aren't you? ;)
Crack me up.
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I want to apologize. I had no idea that my joke would bring about this kind of strife in an area of the forum where we all come to get some laughs. I have been racking my brain to try to come up with a solution for the problem I have brought about.
I have 2.
I'm thinking that there could be 2 or 3 women on the raft. A republican, a democrat, and..........a green party candidate. The three of them could walk into a bar, no wait, that's another joke.
Or, I could put a woman on the raft who would inspire no political thought of any kind. Someone who is so far removed from the realm of politics that absolutely no one could become defensive. I'm thinking Paris Hilton. This selection would also make the sailor out to be much more cerebral. Can I get some feedback on this one? :-[
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Paris Hilton jokes are always great as no matter what your partisan, everyone hates her equally all around.
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I think Red and White jokes are funnier....lol
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I think Red and White jokes are funnier....lol
I could install Paris with red and white knee socks. ;).
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I have got the straight/skinny now on the red and whites from the horse's mouth (so to speak).
I have modified this joke in a way that will hopefully still be funny but not politically offensive.
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Who says old bikers can't tell modified politically correct jokes!!!!! :*))