Sly Bald Guys Forum
Discussions About Being Bald => General Discussion => Topic started by: bulls_fan on January 11, 2008, 10:40:57 PM
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alright guys. I know confidence is key, but i don't think i have it. Everytime the weekend comes and my friends go out to a bar that has a certain dress code, no hats, i just say i'm not feeling well and don't go. I'm not ashamed of being bald but I just can't help to think what others think. And it's driving me insane. I used to not care what anybody thought. Around people i don't know i could care less. It's when i see people from high school who haven't seen me in a a while where i get is guess insecure. Any ideas on how i can get over this or is it just something that'll come with time? Thanks.
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I can remember feeling the same way. All I can say is it does get better with time. I think it's just something you have to push through. Force yourself to go out. It's a little awkward when you run into someone who hasn't seen you since you shaved, but once that initial meeting is over with, the feeling tends to go away. Eventually you see that no one else really cares whether you have hair or not.
Keep visiting this site -- I know it's always been a great help to me when my confidence has needed a boost. Hang in there.
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Bulls_fan. What I can say to you honestly and truthfully is that if you dont have confidence in how you look and feel, then this will reflect with how other people see you.
So why didnt you used to care what people think? Was something different within you then that allowed you to feel more confident and more secure? I tell you brother, being bald shoudl certainly not give you those feelings and if it does, as a young man, it may take some adjusting to but sooner you will learn to walk with your head held high knowing you are the baddest mofo in the valley.
As human beings we are always going to have things that cause us to feel insignificant or maybe not measure up to the next guy in the room. That is part of life. There is always someone stronger, better looking, smarter. As a Sly Bald Guy , you should always know within yourself that you are embracing your true self and if people around you arent feeling you, then tell them to get F***ed, pardon my language
I think in time bro that you will know what I am talking about if you havent known it already. When you walk into a bar, Think to yourself "Every girl in this joint wants my number, now who is the lucky one that is going to get it"
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I think you just gotta do it bro..
I wish ChicoD was around now to answer that for you...the guy was young, in the miami nightclub scene and hatin' life...
wasn't sure how a bald head would do with girls...
the dude scored more than ever!!! It changed his life for the good...
Just go bro and remember this... almost ALL dudes hairy or not are just fakin' the confidence in those situations...
FAKE THE CONFIDENCE.... till you get it for real!
Don't blame it on the bald head bro...you're a good looking dude, girls will dig ya..
probably over the other clowns in the club...
Go out and show your bald head off..it will one day be real! O0
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Good words Jdog! O0
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Hell Yeah BaldAndre, ChicoD is the man. The stories he relates how becoming Sly changed his life with the laydays is truly inspirational stuff.
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Hell Yeah BaldAndre, ChicoD is the man. The stories he relates how becoming Sly changed his life with the laydays is truly inspirational stuff.
Hey Jdog...like the new avatar ...you look nice and extra bald and extra clean..almost shadow-free and totally bald!
and losing the stache....... O0!
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Thanks BA! I think it was the camera angle got the good midday sun reflection off the melon, diminishes the shadow.
I lost the 'stache because the better half wont kiss me when I have it.Priorities you know!
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Dude, let me tell you something. As a young guy myself, taking it all off is the best decision I ever made. I have to admit that in the beginning you will regret it and even lose confidence in how you do things. This is normal! Its a pretty big change that we go through and caterpillars do not morph into butterflies without that awkward in between phase where they feel vulnerable. We are pretty much the same way.
Think of it this way, did you use to worry about what they would think when you were losing it as well? I think that after that initial awkward phase where they get to know the new and better you, you'll find that you'll be MORE confident and will have more things focus on now that you've freed yourself from worrying about what they will think of you in the long run.
It comes with time my friend, and once it comes you'll never look back :)
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Thanks BA! I think it was the camera angle got the good midday sun reflection off the melon, diminishes the shadow.
I lost the 'stache because the better half wont kiss me when I have it.Priorities you know!
Shave mine for the same reason lol
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bulls_fan, there's a book I read once that changed my life in regards to confidence and I think you should pick up a copy. It's called To be or not be intimidated? That is the question by Robert Ringer. I'd give you a link to Amazon, but in reality you should just go buy it at your local book store. They should have it.
The book has some very simple theories that it imparts on you like The Beauty And The Beast Theory and the Iceball Theory. If you buy it and read it and have any questions, just let me know.
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Thanks guys. This place is great. Nothing but genuine responses. I really appreciate it. It's a great feeling to have people to talk about this with who've gone through it. Being a big reader, i'll prolly go and pick up that book. Just right after i'm done reading Rant by chuck palahniuk. Whom i highly reccomend. He's the guy who wrote fight club. his books are twisted but a daaaaaaamn good read.
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Thanks guys. This place is great. Nothing but genuine responses. I really appreciate it. It's a great feeling to have people to talk about this with who've gone through it. Being a big reader, i'll prolly go and pick up that book. Just right after i'm done reading Rant by chuck palahniuk. Whom i highly reccomend. He's the guy who wrote fight club. his books are twisted but a daaaaaaamn good read.
Glad to hear it does help when we rant on about thing here!
Sounds like some good reading from both you and Tyler...and remember to do the simple thing...
take OFF the hat and let your bald head shine...let everyone get used to the new, more aerodynamic YOU!
THAT will help a lot!
Take care my bald bro!
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i know how you feel man... it's easy to talk about confidence and feel confident in the safety of your home, but as soon as you step into the real world with your clean head you really are put to the test. sometimes i'm a bit worried that people might think i'm a skinhead/druggie/tough guy when really i'm none of the three -- i'm just a happy-go-lucky dude with a bald head. but i tell ya what, those kind of thoughts will destroy your esteem.
the best advice i could give you is ditch the hat and show off your head. after all, it is the real you! i know it's difficult, similar to jumping in cold water or public speaking, but you'll feel sooooo much better when you do cuz you wont have anything to hide. eventually the novelty of it will wear off and people will get used to it. that said, from your pic i can honestly say that if i had seen you somewhere during my "should-i-shave" stage i probably would've been envious at how well you pull it off ("i would love to shave, but there's no way i'd look as chillin as that guy :(")
i believe it was baldandre who said "fake the confidence - until you get it for real" this is sooo true. i mean, we often look to others to evaluate ourselves, how we're perceived and such, but in reality we can personally influence how others do perceive us. if you're cool with yourself, then others will be cool with you. if they aren't, then you should be too cool to care. i've only been sly a few days, but i've found it easy to bring it up myself "yo, check it out -- i shaved my head!" .... which has been met with "wow, looks sharp" and "oh, clean shaven did you shave today? do you hafta shave everyday" or whatever. haven't had anything negative yet but i expect if i ever get a "why did you do that?" i'll respond with "uhh, obviously cuz its.. awesome! (and i know you're jealous/want to touch it)"
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bull fans you already got a geat amount of advice that will well cover you to get out of the rut. I can only offer one other source that may appeal since he has a lot of videos done in a great way. check out Neil Strauss site http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendid=48124294 (http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendid=48124294) look it to his vid blogs. last thing which is the most important, and to keep it simple I have to steal from Nike, Just Do It! good luck brutha.
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I had the same problem for the first day or two. I thought about wearing a hat when I went out, then decided nope, this is me now, I'm going to show it. Later when I was in a crowd of people it was actually better no longer wondering who was behind me seeing my bald spot and what they were thinking. At least they know that this look is my decision and not mother natures.
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I had the same problem for the first day or two. I thought about wearing a hat when I went out, then decided nope, this is me now, I'm going to show it. Later when I was in a crowd of people it was actually better no longer wondering who was behind me seeing my bald spot and what they were thinking. At least they know that this look is my decision and not mother natures.
I agee wholeheartedly. SLY is so much better than wondering if people are snickering at your hairloss or your attempts to hide it. This is the way I am and I chose this look.
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Bulls_Fan, you're missing a lot of headrubs. The Sly look brings out the character of your face, a strong face, and centers it on your eyes. The gals are going to reach out, trust us, and you'll be the center of attention--and not for the flagging hair setup. The guys, particularly any that have the same genetic advantage, are going to come up and confide that they've thought about it too, then, between the babes, and giving advice on doing it, you won't have time to worry about anything negative. Go out tonight and live, I remember the movie Mame, where she tells her nephew, "The world is a banquet and most poor fools are starving to death!" Go on out there and feast on the banquet, you're looking good and you own it!
Just one thing, report back, I'm looking forward to a great report.
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Dude you look like a pretty studly dude who totally rocks the sly look. If you need a little boost about how to be confident when going out, I say read everything you can from David Deangelo. This guy knows what he is talking about. I read some of his stuff years ago and I had my pick from tons of hot chicks. Keep it sly man!
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Bulls_Fan, don't just have the look, own the look. You just have to go with the attitude, this is me.
It's kinda like sex for the first time with someone new, do you cuts the lights out before you undress or do you rip your clothes off with the attitude of "This is me and I'm about to rock your world!!!"
In a matter of seconds who the hell cares if the lights are on >:D
True story... My sisters birthday was in december and my brother-in-law asked if I could bring the entertainment (meaning my DJ/KJ equipment) for her party at a house he rented. I agreed,love my sis, and I showed up and started setting up in the house. I hadn't seen her or him in about 6 months, and was working out, lost the glasses, and have the goat. While setting up all of a sudden I heard, OMG, thats my brother's ass I have been checking out... is he sexy or what??
My sister was standing in a group of her friends and they didn't even realize it was me. Needless to say it was a fun night from that point forward.
My favorite phrase to use when people I haven't seen in a long time ask me where my hair is...... I decided to bring sexy back!
So bro, go out and have sex with the lights on, you will be glad you did!! O0
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Another thing that I've always found that helps is to check out the photos in the Before & After gallery on this site. I don't think there's anybody there who looks better in their "before" shot. It's hard for us to evaluate ourselves objectively like we evaluate everyone else -- but if everyone else looks better sly, why would you think that you are any different? Keeping that in mind helps to boost the confidence.
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Hey man;
don't know what more to add to these excellent posts; except to give you a bit of my testemonial. I went sly at 53 ... a lot older than you; but did it because my hair was sooo thin on top; very grey/white ; and it made me look ... well; old and stodgy . I went sly very slowly ; and felt pretty self conscious at first . I enjoyed going out to places where NOBODY knew me . It helped me gain confidence and even PRIDE in my appearance -- and courage not to feel so self conscious when i was around people I know; when casual acquaintences saw me sly for the first time ... A breakthrough was meeting up with someone I hadn't seen for a few months .... I just walked up to him, started a conversation, laughed, smiled; and just watched his unspoken reaction. My unspoken words were "I look good like this, don't I ? " ..... So it just takes a little time; a little convincing of your self that you look good (and you do, by the way; you wear the sly look quite well) .... so ; don't worry ; go out there and live life .... and you'll meet that special woman who really digs your total slyness.
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When i first went sly I worried about the responses of people who had never seen me without hair. I did think about avoiding them, and wondered what they would be thinking and how they would take my new look. Most of the time they didnt pass a comment, very occasionally they said I looked better with hair and sometimes they gave me a compliment. But most of the time they said nothing and I was able to relax.
just go out and see what the reaction is. Enjoy being you and doin what you want to do, man, and forget about peoples reactions. in time your confidence will grow and you'll turn it round until you WANT people to see you with the sly look and you feel kinda disappointed when they DON'T comment on your head!
8)
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Hey
I had some self confidence issues when it came to being out and about and sly, mainly because there was no one else sporting the look at the time. Also because people were so used to me having spikey hair.
I think the most important thing is feeling comfortable in your own skin. Literally. I think the look suits you.
Have fun with it :)