Sly Bald Guys Forum
Confidence and Success => Relationships/Dating => Topic started by: Hugh_Fran on November 30, 2007, 01:44:20 PM
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Hi guys/gals,
my problem with being bald is always wondering how I appear to other people - especially females. as well as being bald I do not have much facial hair and this more than anything damages my confidence. I see other bald guys with a gottie or big beard and I can't grow anything like that. So basically when I say I'm bald, I mean all over my head. I lack the courage to approach a girl I like, even if I think she is interested in my because I'm always concious of my appearance.
Sounds silly I know, but what tips or advice can I get? I'd particularly like to hear from the girls on the forum about this.
???
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Welcome Hugh
That's a tough one, bro.
There's a lot of complicated issues to untangle there. But, I'll go out on a limb to start by saying that ya gotta be comfortable in yer own skin as a starting point.
Lack of confidence is way worse than "perceived" appearance issues. You have a better chance of being confident and having a friggen goiter jutting out the side of yer neck, than being good looking and lacking confidence.
Of course I employed a bit of hyperbole there, but it illustrates an important point.
One thing most of us 'round here dealt with was our ugly mugs staring back at us in the mirror. ill-shaped skull? nose too big?.....weak chin?.....and on...and on...and on.
My thing was weak eyebrows....
but one thing we've all come to realize is that we're not that important to other people for them to be inspecting our appearance. That's a major liberating point, I think. It was for me.
I can't grow a good 'stache, goat or beard....yeah you can see a bit of one on this picture....but that's as good as it gets....no good connection from the stache to the goat on the sides of the mouth.
But no one really gives a flyin' fork....and now neither do I...
Lemme share a little story about my vain little sister. She was so worried about looking silly that she wouldn't embark on learning cooool stuff like skiing, surfing, skating....all kinds of stuff. She didn't want to look like a "beginner." One time we went to the mountains as a family. I already knew how to ski, but Micky didn't want to join the fun for the above reasons. I heard my dad tell her---and it really stuck with me. He said, "Micky, c'mon, honey....you're not that important to these people."
WHOA!!! that says alot. 'nuff said. Hope that helps a little.
r.m.
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Welcome Hugh...
I would imagine if you are always wondering how you appear to others, you most likley appear to be a bit self conscious and maybe a bit over eager to please.
As for your appearance upon meeting you I am sure people think you are a white male, over 25, well groomed and neatly dressed.
I guess the first thing to ask yourself is - Why do I care so much about what other people think of my appearance?
Accept yourself for who you are and worry more about cheating yourself out of the good times and happiness you could be feeling by worrying about what others are thinking.
I have known some beautiful women and men that could get any girl they want... you know what? The ALL have something they are self conscious about.
You are no different other than you allow it to consume more of you than it deserves.
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Lemme share a little story about my vain little sister. She was so worried about looking silly that she wouldn't embark on learning cooool stuff like skiing, surfing, skating....all kinds of stuff. She didn't want to look like a "beginner." One time we went to the mountains as a family. I already knew how to ski, but Micky didn't want to join the fun for the above reasons. I heard my dad tell her---and it really stuck with me. He said, "Micky, c'mon, honey....you're not that important to these people."
AMEN!
Nail+head=Robmiester
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RM and Marz have given you some great advice bro!
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Hugh,
Attitude is something that we all try to help each other with. Not necessarily throwing "an attitude" around, but being comfortable in your own skin. Although I've always been a pretty confident guy, I definitely felt myself step up a notch when I went sly. Could I grow a goatee? No....tried it and it looked like sh*t. Did I care? No.
One thing that comes through more than anything else is self-confidence. Not ego, just confidence. Confidence in your decisions, confidence in your thoughts, confidence in your own skin.
Any other advice will cost you a beer!
Schro
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ditto, ditto, and ditto........ I am 5'-5" tall (barely, more like 5-4 1/2) and I have dated some pretty hot girls in my life (if I do say so myself) not because girls like munchkins but because I make the best with what I have, be confident, and put myself out there even if I am rejected (which has happened more times than I like to remember) but who cares....it's like lotto, you have to be in it to win it (Beastie Boys lyric).
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hugh.....i say DITTO 2 all the responses. take those words 2 heart. i really can not add anything else but i wish u luck in gaining self-confidence. O0
WARHAWK O0
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Welcome Hugh...
I would imagine if you are always wondering how you appear to others, you most likley appear to be a bit self conscious and maybe a bit over eager to please.
Man that is the nail on the head right there - I sometimes do feel eager to please others instead of worrying about myself. I am a very inward thinker sometimes: 'what is this persons impression of me?', 'am I saying the right thing', that kind of stuff.
My low confidence came from being dumped by a woman whom I really cared for and wondering what I did wrong, you know, feeling rejected. That old chestnut, we've all been there I guess. But I'm glad I found this site as I can see a lot of support from fellow Slys (okay, I'm only a new Sly but hey!).
But guys, that is great advice from you all.
Thanks a lot.
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Hang in there buddy, women can really cause a man to de-construct but as they say, there are many fish in the sea... so grab your fishin' gear.
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Millions and millions of women (I'll repeat that...)
Millions and millions of women find bald guys sexy.
It's true. But it's not because of their hair, or lack of it. It's not because they can grow a goatee, or beard, or sideburns.
Confidence is numero uno. A guy, bald or not, who's the confident alpha male, will have more women than he knows what to do with.
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Firstly,
I've found that most chicks DIG a bald head. So don't let this put you off. A chick that doesn't dig a bald head definitely isn't the right one for you anyway. The thing to remember is you have to lose before you can win, but if you never try you'll never do either. The more you approach and talk to women the easier it becomes. Don't use a cool pickup line, just start off with a simple hi and small talk and go from there. Good luck. ^-^'
Almost all of us have been dumped by a woman and been left hurting at one point in our lives or another. Yes, it sucks but it's better. There was obviously something missing that caused the relationship not to work out. Don't take it personally. The key to being loved is that you have to love yourself first. Sure it feels a bit conceded but it's the truth.
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My suggestion is you smoke a joint and have your best friend continuously prop you lol, works for me... but on a serious side, I think lots of women dig the bald head you just have to find a girl that respects the "sly".
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... but on a serious side, I think lots of women dig the bald head you just have to find a girl that respects the "sly".
Perfect words bro! O0
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Hugh,
the way I see it, women are experts at reading between lines. Us guys see whats in front of us pretty clear cut and dry... So that being said, walk, talk, carry yourself like you're a million bucks! Your confidence will keep people wondering: "theres more to this man, but I can't quite put my finger on what that may be!"
Thats intrigue, my friend ;)
Walk like you're ten feet tall and you will be! Not telling you to be a windbag, just think about all the things you think makes you a cool person and be confident someone will see it..
If they're not interested, there will be another one for another day; and at least your standing tall like you don't give a crap..
Joseph
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Truly well spoken all around Bros!! Man, some people big bucks to hear stuff like this.
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Truly well spoken all around Bros!! Man, some people big bucks to hear stuff like this.
You're right JDog ....
The SBG Counseling Center has gotten another on the right path to succeeding. Read this set of responses over and over Hugh. There's alot of wisdom ...
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Hugh,
the way I see it, women are experts at reading between lines. Us guys see whats in front of us pretty clear cut and dry... So that being said, walk, talk, carry yourself like you're a million bucks! Your confidence will keep people wondering: "theres more to this man, but I can't quite put my finger on what that may be!"
Thats intrigue, my friend ;)
Walk like you're ten feet tall and you will be! Not telling you to be a windbag, just think about all the things you think makes you a cool person and be confident someone will see it..
If they're not interested, there will be another one for another day; and at least your standing tall like you don't give a crap..
Joseph
Great words, I couldnt agree more.
Imagine the person you want to be and BE that person... it is not very hard once you put it to practice. It sounds cliche or kinda motivational speaker-ish but it does work.
I sometimes put sticky notes up to help me stay focused on something I want to improve about myself like "Work Smart" to remind me to conceptualize before diving into a project or "Get into It" to help me enjoy the things I dont really like doing like yard work or laundry.
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For the guys that are looking to meet women and would like some assistance in how to approach them, check out the video on this link:
http://www.myspace.com/neilstrauss
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Confidence is everything. i always considered myself an average looking guy with a lot of confidence and a great personality.
Women love a confident man with a great sense of humor.
Confidence will lead you to NOT being shy. Women love a guy that approaches them.
My friends all used to say (in my dating heyday before a got married), "HOW DO YOU GET SUCH GOOD LOOKING WOMEN TO GO OUT WITH YOU"?
My response......... 'I ASK THEM OUT".
The way I always looked at it was that if a woman said no, I probably wouldn't like her anyway..... her loss.
This isn't meant to sound arrogant.... just confident...... a fine line no doubt.
Mike 8)
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Confidence is everything. i always considered myself an average looking guy with a lot of confidence and a great personality.
Women love a confident man with a great sense of humor.
Confidence will lead you to NOT being shy. Women love a guy that approaches them.
My friends all used to say (in my dating heyday before a got married), "HOW DO YOU GET SUCH GOOD LOOKING WOMEN TO GO OUT WITH YOU"?
My response......... 'I ASK THEM OUT".
The way I always looked at it was that if a woman said no, I probably wouldn't like her anyway..... her loss.
This isn't meant to sound arrogant.... just confident...... a fine line no doubt.
Mike 8)
Great outlook Mike!
I used to get the same question from my buddies. It always baffled them that I would date chicks that they were so afraid to talk to. I always told them the same thing "you gotta talk to them for them to actually want to go out with you."
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This thread is just what I needed to hear...or read ;D
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This thread is just what I needed to hear...or read ;D
Yeah...... we're an awesome bunch aren't we??? :*)) kind of makes you glad you joined, huh? O0
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^ Absolutely!!!
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well i am 6'5 and my baby momma is just pushing 5'0...come on it isnt lack of hair it is self esteem....but that comes with time and age...you will grow out of it...
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hi guys ive got to be honest im abit like hugh_fran. i used to be mr confidence and had the gift of the gab i ever date an underwear model when i was 19. good bloody morning. she was hot and gorgeous.... but once i had my car crash and i started to lose my hair my confidence went down hill and once my ex started to shout baldy across the pub it really all went. im starting to get it back but i still have trouble aprroaching ladies to chat too them and do often chat via the net but i still dont have avast amount of confidence
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Some good advice above but.....
My two bits is that confidence isn't something that just appears overnight.
You have to build it by doing positive things and then your confidence grows accordingly.
Think of things to do to build your confidence with women.
Talk to women in the line at a bank, in an elevator, at Micky D's (try not to act/look like a stalker though)
Talk to some "friends" that are girls first maybe and practice on them ;)
Join some clubs, groups, take some classes and immerse yourself in things you like or want to learn... skydive, scuba, book clubs, wine classes -- whatever floats your boat -- as you make yourself more interesting you build confidence and the ball starts rolling
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Some good advice above but.....
My two bits is that confidence isn't something that just appears overnight.
You have to build it by doing positive things and then your confidence grows accordingly.
Think of things to do to build your confidence with women.
Talk to women in the line at a bank, in an elevator, at Micky D's (try not to act/look like a stalker though)
Talk to some "friends" that are girls first maybe and practice on them ;)
Join some clubs, groups, take some classes and immerse yourself in things you like or want to learn... skydive, scuba, book clubs, wine classes -- whatever floats your boat -- as you make yourself more interesting you build confidence and the ball starts rolling
Great advice, Pshrynk. Practice makes perfect
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hi guys ive got to be honest im abit like hugh_fran. i used to be mr confidence and had the gift of the gab i ever date an underwear model when i was 19. good bloody morning. she was hot and gorgeous.... but once i had my car crash and i started to lose my hair my confidence went down hill and once my ex started to shout baldy across the pub it really all went. im starting to get it back but i still have trouble aprroaching ladies to chat too them and do often chat via the net but i still dont have avast amount of confidence
Hey Mike, Some men spend 10's of thousands of dollars in live boot camps, trying to find the "magic bullet" words that will get the girls of their dreams to go on a date with them. Eventually they find out the hard way that there is no magic bullet, all they need are some funny pick up lines and good old fashion confidence.
Consider this funny line:
Gent: Say, how much does a polar bear weigh?
Gal: Uh, I have no idea?
Gent: Enough to break the ice. Hi, my name's BJ.
Is that a stupid line? Definitely. But it demonstrates a key point in picking a girl up: Half the battle is breaking the ice between you and the person you want to talk to. Once the ice is melted, you're in! You've magically moved past stranger territory.
Here's a more romantic chat-up line.
For a minute there I thought I had died and gone to heaven, but now I realize that I am very much alive, and that heaven has been brought to me.
And if all else fails, this one's sure to work.
Excuse me, I seem to have lost my phone number, can I please borrow yours?
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Dude, congrats on getting the gig with 'Purple Man Group' :*))
With pick up lines like that your wife felt sorry for you, didn't she?
Needed to get you out of the dating pool as soon as possible for the sake of womankind.
Seriously though, what you say is oh so true.
Red
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hi guys ive got to be honest im abit like hugh_fran. i used to be mr confidence and had the gift of the gab i ever date an underwear model when i was 19. good bloody morning. she was hot and gorgeous.... but once i had my car crash and i started to lose my hair my confidence went down hill and once my ex started to shout baldy across the pub it really all went. im starting to get it back but i still have trouble aprroaching ladies to chat too them and do often chat via the net but i still dont have avast amount of confidence
Hey Mike, Some men spend 10's of thousands of dollars in live boot camps, trying to find the "magic bullet" words that will get the girls of their dreams to go on a date with them. Eventually they find out the hard way that there is no magic bullet, all they need are some funny pick up lines and good old fashion confidence.
Consider this funny line:
Gent: Say, how much does a polar bear weigh?
Gal: Uh, I have no idea?
Gent: Enough to break the ice. Hi, my name's BJ.
Is that a stupid line? Definitely. But it demonstrates a key point in picking a girl up: Half the battle is breaking the ice between you and the person you want to talk to. Once the ice is melted, you're in! You've magically moved past stranger territory.
Here's a more romantic chat-up line.
For a minute there I thought I had died and gone to heaven, but now I realize that I am very much alive, and that heaven has been brought to me.
And if all else fails, this one's sure to work.
Excuse me, I seem to have lost my phone number, can I please borrow yours?
I need to try a couple of those...I think I could pull the polar bear one off nicely
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This one always worked well for me:
Me: Hey there. You having any fun yet tonight/today?
Gal: Yeah, I'm having fun.
Me: What would make it more fun?
Gal: (Usually with a chuckle) More of this, better that. The answer will vary.
Me: I just try to react to what she says. Then I introduce myself.
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after some small talk that is going well, you could try this: lean in close with a smile, and ask,"what do i have to do for that to be the first thing i see in the morning?" while looking her IN the eyes.
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after some small talk that is going well, you could try this: lean in close with a smile, and ask,"what do i have to do for that to be the first thing i see in the morning?" while looking her IN the eyes.
now that would take some bravado ;D
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This one always worked well for me:
Me: Hey there. You having any fun yet tonight/today?
Gal: Yeah, I'm having fun.
Me: What would make it more fun?
Gal: (Usually with a chuckle) More of this, better that. The answer will vary.
Me: I just try to react to what she says. Then I introduce myself.
This obviously works, check Tyler's avatar O0
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after some small talk that is going well, you could try this: lean in close with a smile, and ask,"what do i have to do for that to be the first thing i see in the morning?" while looking her IN the eyes.
now that would take some bravado ;D
let me know if it works. ha ha
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after some small talk that is going well, you could try this: lean in close with a smile, and ask,"what do i have to do for that to be the first thing i see in the morning?" while looking her IN the eyes.
P, this one probably works better after a few drinks have been ingested, lol
Could be too advanced for some beginners. ;)