Sly Bald Guys Forum
Confidence and Success => Relationships/Dating => Topic started by: Tagus on September 10, 2007, 05:18:44 PM
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Hey there.
It´s my first post over here, although i´ve been lurking this forum for a few months now and only know i´ve decided to post.
This forum seems pretty different and positive compared to some hair forums.
Ok, onto the main issue.
I´ve been trying to go out with a girl that works in the same place as me, although for different companies but i feel a bit insecure of going bald. I´m thining with 24 years old but i feel she´s really interested in me but she´s out of my league and sometimes i can´t believe how the hell a lady like her gives me signals.
I spoke with her sometimes in the past but nothing major but it started the seduction game...yeasterday she finally said hi to me.
Anyways i did shaved my head about 3 months ago to a 2# which indicated i was going bald and i believe she did noticed that because i went past her a few times (we still didn´t talked with each other).
She is known for dating a well known portuguese footballer that´s why i think i might look dumb for aproaching her and my sucess with women at this moment is nill. Losing hair sucks.
Maybe she thinks i have something special no?
I want to invite her for a coffee so that we get to know each other but i don´t want to rush things like i did in past relationships.
The only thing i know is that i´m going to try and see if this works or not, balding or not.
I´m still young with 24 years old, i work-out and have an athletic body and work and study in the university at the same time. I´m not a guy to cry about baldness as i´m considering going sly but i feel it might harm my chances.
Like i said i´m a bit insecure about all this so can you give me some advice considering your sly experiences?
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Can't help you much, I was married before I was SLY.
I would like to welcome you to the forum though!!!
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welcome bro. usually with sly comes confidence. and any lay-day will tell you that confidence is attractive. go for it bro. there is no such thing as out of your league. worst thing she do is say no. find another lay-day. have fun and good luck.
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FabioM, welcome to Sly Bald Guys! Glad you decided to post after lurking for a while.
On to the topic. I think if you read many of the guys' posts here, you'll find that going Sly actually helped in the women department, not hurt it. It's for the same reason that PBurke mentioned - confidence! Give shaving a try, but do it on a day that you have a couple days to grow it back if it doesn't give you the confidence you're looking for. Who knows, it could be that one thing that gets her to strike up a conversation with you.
Until then, do this if you're not already doing it...
Smile at her and then say something to the effect of "Hey, how you doing?" or "Hello"
Do this the next couple of times you see her. Most likely the response will be a smile and "hello" back.
After you do that a couple of times, just stop and say, "hey, I've never formally introduced myself. My name is (insert name here)".
This will simply open up the lines of communication to allow you to move the relationship further.
Anyone else have any suggestions?
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Welcome...Fabio,
Yeah....what will be attractive to her...if there's an initial attraction...is YOU DOING YER OWN THANG!!!
Ya know, shave it, mohawk it, spike it, color it.....whatever the hell YOU wanna do and strut it like you could give a sh** about what she thinks. But at the same time be cordial and open up communication like Tyler said.
If she was somehow to pick up on any sheepishness about you changing your look because of HER, that's a strike against ya.
Hey, you may think of her a bunch....and you might have butterflies in yer stomach when ya pass her on the premises....but she can't know that.....the odds are WAY IN YER FAVOR if she perceives you as yer own man, man.
Hope that helps.
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Welcome Fabio and glad you found us. I think Tyler and Robmeister covered it all pretty well. Just be yourself man. If you feel it will make you feel better about the way you look then shave it. If she digs it then she does. If not then there are plenty of other women out there. But if you are worried about the thinning then I don't think there is any other choice but to go for it just to see what it does for you. You can always grow it back bro. But I think you will find that it will boost your confidence tremendously. Good luck and keep us posted.
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Fabio, Welcome to the group. I think Tyler and Rob covered it well too. One thing you have to remember is no one is out of your league. You say she's giving you signals? saying hello and having spoken with her is a big start.
Don't worry about who she's going with, focus on her possibly dating you. If there's one thing I've learned from past mistakes it's that you just have to go for it. You will never know the answer otherwise, and all it becomes for you is " what if this would have happened" and "if only I had done that".
So here's what you do: Take your favorite razor and shave the head. When you see her at work, smile, say hello, have some small talk, then ask her if she would like to grab a coffee, or maybe a drink. You gotta just put it out there, confidently, and then if she is interested you will know.
It's the only way to find out without playing games. Simple, and it will show you do things your own way. Keep us posted and Good luck!
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First of all thank you for your answers and for the warm welcome :)
I think i´ve come across as a confident guy to her because i walk always with my head high, and i consider myself shy. I also feel it´s a surprise even for me that i walk confidently in my work which is a place where lots of people are and look at you. Working in an airport and using an uniform makes people notice and aproach you.
xnewyawka i have already tried that method in the past, to try and find out if a girl is interested or not but unfortunatly things didn´t worked out but at least i tried and felt a great relief with it so now perhaps it´s working for me. I´m really going to try.
Tyler i first wanted to speak with her before asking her name or giving mine...i think girls feel that when they speak with a guy for sometime but still don´t know his name they think he´s the special one.
Hey it´s a tactic and it could work good.
Robmeister i agree with you. I have alot of things to do in my life, that i enjoy and that keeps me occupied which makes me feel confident and strong. I don´t speak with women like i used to, like an Average Frustrated Chimp, but normal and confident, maybe that´s what it makes her interested.
God she´s so beatifull, blonde and fits well with her uniform...she´s even sexier when she uses the smaller skirt her company gives to their women employees. I´ve saw her without the uniform and she´s even better with a nice round ass and a bee waist.
No doubt i´m going to try O0
See ya
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Welcome to the Forum.
I have to agree with the others here: go for it.
Ask her and find out if she is interested.
If you live honorably then the only things in life you truly regret will be the chances you didn't take.
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Tyler i first wanted to speak with her before asking her name or giving mine...i think girls feel that when they speak with a guy for sometime but still don´t know his name they think he´s the special one.
Hey it´s a tactic and it could work good.
Yeah, that will work! I've found that saying hello can often lead to other conversation.
I don´t speak with women like i used to, like an Average Frustrated Chimp, but normal and confident, maybe that´s what it makes her interested.
Did someone read "The Game" recently?
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Hehe, no i didn´t read The Game but i based that on what i´ve saw some years ago with a girl who was from my class back in High School. She was in love with a guy from other class and spoke with him alot of times but they still didn´t know their names...they are still togheter after all this time ;)
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LOL! I mention that because the author uses the phrase "Average Frustrated Chump" in the book. I'd never heard it before I read the book.
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Lol, i´ve read about the AFC somewhere in the internet :*))
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fabiom....1st of all welcome 2 the sly fraternity. the sly brahs have covered it all.... so i'm gonna say.... go 4 it b4 someone else beats ya 2 it. keep us posted on the lay-day & also keep us posted 2 your road 2 slyness.
WARHAWK O0
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Alright guys, i´ve gone back to work after my two days rest and i´ve come home dissapointed.
And why do i say i´m very dissapointed?
First of all right after i started my shift she was coming by me along with another co-worker of her. I tried to say hi to her but she looked at me and then back to her colleague as they were speaking toghether. If she was interested wouldn´t she say hi to me? Or she doesn´t want her colleague to know about something is going on?
And 2nd:
I was speaking with my co-worker who his into his early 40´s but he´s a cool guy and one of my best friends in work and then he comes across this conversation:
Fabio you know i think i´m in love with a girl from our rival company, she´s blonde and very hot (you know, speaking funny like we men, sometimes speak about girls).
He did told me he has gone with her to search for a bag (we work in the lost and found in the airport) and now says she always compliments him.
I was a bit stunned as she always says hi to him but not me.
It´s not the first time she gives me the hot and cold (or whatever you say in english), loike someday she´s interested and then she´s not and i go back to zero. Everytime i want to aproach myself more it looks like she puts a stop to it.
After a few minutes i decided to speak with my colleague that i was trying to meet her better and we started talking about her...the conclusion we made was that she might be a bit shy and very nice, that´s why she compliments everyone but looks like she´s interested.
Maybe it´s not on purpose, maybe it´s just the way she is and maybe i´m too convinced for thinking about i could get my hands onto that girl (she´s a 10 no doubt about that).
I dunno, i´m a bit confused for what happened today, maybe my friend is right, she´s not like the other women, but she nice and polite although i find it strange the first time i spoke to her that she asked me if i was making night shifts, straight away ???
Why the looks, not only in work but also while we were on the bus?
Why the smilles, why the initiative to say hi first or to start a conversation like the one of the shifts?
Ahh, she once again put me back at the start, this is so disapointing.
I´m sorry about the rant, but i really needed it.
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Alright guys, i´ve gone back to work after my two days rest and i´ve come home dissapointed.
And why do i say i´m very dissapointed?
Ahh, she once again put me back at the start, this is so disapointing.
I´m sorry about the rant, but i really needed it.
fabiom.....1st of all it's okay 2 rant here, that's why it's called the sbg forum. we r here 2 help & encourage. 2nd.... please don't get disappointed.... there is nothing worse than a disappointed sly guy. so....from reading your post this woman gives u a "hot" & "cold" look. yeah....that can b pretty confusing but that is why they r women. women show many many type of emotions. that's why we (men) get confused. THERE IS NOTHING WE CAN DO ABOUT THAT.
just worry 'bout what u can do. u need 2 get assertive & just ask her out. from my experience (when i was single)....that is the only way 2 go. just go 4 it.......just invite her 4 some coffee or if she can accompany u 4 dinner after work. and if she says "no"....then move on & then ya know that she wasn't interested in u. well that's my 2cents.
WARHAWK O0
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Hey FabioM,
Being in a long-term relationship, I don't really know too much about asking women out but, I would say, you're reading too much into every little smile etc. Why does it have to be all or nothing? Just because a girl smiles & is friendly doesn't automatically mean she's got the hots for you. - Just because she smiles at your co-worker too doesn't mean she's playing games - just being friendly - & why shouldn't she be?
I agree with Warhawk - Bottom line is you'll never really know, until you ask her, whether she likes you enough to go for a coffee or something with you, but even if she does, again, don't take that as some kind of coded "green light" that means that you're "in there" .... it just means ... she likes you enough to go for a coffee ... but it's a start!
For all you know though she may already have a partner but you'll never know unless you start chatting with her
Anyway, good luck bro! O0
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Jon and Warhawk covered it well. Just go for it man. It's the only way.
Like Jon said, a might not mean a thing except she is a nice person and being friendly. I smile at people a lot when I'm out just because it's my nature when I make eye contact with someone. Most women smile back at me. I'm sure it doesn't mean they want me. I'd like to hope that it is what it means but...Never mind. >:D Take it a little at a time man. Don't think too deep in to it or rush anything if things do go well. Like Warhawk and others have said, just invite her for coffee. If she goes for that then you know that at least she is interested. Or at the least not totally turned off by you. This is sort of your "foot in the door." If she goes for coffee with you just talk about general things. Try not to dive too deep into her life. It may make her uncomfortable and intimidate her. Just try talk about the basics. What she likes to do when not at work, music she likes, movies, brothers or sisters, where she grew up, etc... If she opens up to you that's a different story. Dive in with both feet because this means she trusts you enough right off the bat and things are moving a little faster for you. Which can be good. But otherwise, if you think you may really like this lady, take it slow. The last thing you want to do is scare her off if she seems interested. Good luck. O0
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Its been a while since I played the field but I do know one thing that I have seen over the years.
Girls love confidence. A confident man who is happy with who he is and comfortable with himself.
Arrogance and confidence are a fine line, one still needs to be a gentleman and polite and do some charming but having a little self confidence never hurt.
In real life, 99 percent of the time, the girl will go after the guy who has the balls to go up and make conversation instead of the timid guy who stands in the corner too scared to go up and ask her how she is doing.
Good luck
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Fabio, to echo what the guys have said and to reiterate my first post, take it a little at a time, smile when you see her, chit chat if you can, don't worry about who she's with.
You will have to ask her if she would like to join you for coffee, etc. That is when you can get to know a little more about her, like Lance said.
It's the only way, otherwise you'll always be guessing. Who knows, you might even find out you don't want to date her. Either way, at least you'll know.
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If she aint opennly receptive to your advances, cut your losses and move on. Say F*** shave your head, find this book"women don't lie, Men don't listen" I believe it can be found at www.askmen.com . To sum it up, they're are alot of women out there, dating is a numbers game, out of 10 lay days only 3 would be a decent or tolerable match. Ask her for her home number, If she hesitates or gives you weak response x her and move on. Don't make the mistake of putting her on a pedastel, that only sets you up for dissappointment when you find out how flawwed she actually is.
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Fabio, here's a true story for you that I think fits your situation.
When I was in junior college my buddies and I would eat lunch on the steps of the cafeteria. It a perfect place for us to see who was going into the cafeteria and who was sitting in the quad. Anyways, there was a girl that used to walk by us everyday. Right after she'd go into the caf. all the guys would flip out and talk about how hot she was and what they would do to meet her. To give them credit, she was one of the most beautiful women I'd seen in our town. A few of us would plead with them to just go up and talk to her. They would always say "I've tried to smile or say hi and she never responds" or something of that matter. One day I was in a mood and just got on their case pretty hard and one of them challenged me to go talk to her.
So, me being the guy that can't sit there and eat my own words, headed my own advice and walked into the caf to look for her. I found her sitting at a large, round table all by herself. I grabbed some food and headed over to where she was sitting. I asked her if she'd mind if I sat next to her and she said it was ok to. I took a couple of bites of my food and took a minute to figure out what to say to her. I noticed she was studying math and was having some trouble with it. I then used that opportunity to ask her what area of math she was studying. She replied with something that I had already taken. She also added that she wasn't having a good time with it. I then offered to help her with it and began exlpaining how to solve the math problem she was working on. After that I introduced myself and started asking her basic questions like where she went to high school, what subjects she was taking, etc. Turns out we even had a class together - it was a large class.
On to the point. We ended up dating for a while and she let me know that she was so shocked that I talked to her. She said that most guys tend to ignore her. I was thinking "Are you kidding me?" Nope, she wasn't. Here's one of the most beautiful girls in our city and she gets ignored. Not only was she beautiful, but she was one of the sweetest people on this earth. So, moral of the story. You never know what a woman is really like until you go up and talk to them.
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I just want to know if you've gone sly yet.....cause sly bald guys Ooze sexy confidence and that is what real women want!!!!! So shave your head,get out there, and ask her out already!!!!!! At least if she says "No" you'll know where you stand and you can quite wondering and move on!!!!
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HotCajun, no i still haven´t gone sly yet due to the dress code in my company. You can read my post in the Bussiness/Work section. I´m still waiting if i can sign a new contract with the company which will make me belong to them permanently and not temporary like i´m now.
About the girl i think i´ve blown it, because she doesn´t look at me like she used to do. Maybe i gave her too much signs and that might have scaried her away.
But i´m still trying to approach her and will invite her for something...i really have to do that :)
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I just want to know if you've gone sly yet.....cause sly bald guys Ooze sexy confidence and that is what real women want!!!!! So shave your head,get out there, and ask her out already!!!!!! At least if she says "No" you'll know where you stand and you can quite wondering and move on!!!!
Cajun has a point. I've seen a lot of homely looking dudes that landed a hottie. If you don't think you have a chance, then your screwed cause chicks can sense your insecurity man. I've went out with a few gals that were way outta my league. I just said to myself "screw it! ,I don't care if they say no". The problem is most guys put beautiful women on a pedastal. Make them out to be beyond human. If you actually hook up with her, after awhile you'll start to see her faults and realize that she is just as f@#ked up in the head as most other women out there are. Your in the fantasy phase now, once reality kicks in she probably won't seem as attractive to you.
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got a buddy that has an ex wife that was in playboy. he says it best, "No matter how good she looks, someone somewhere is tired of her crap." all i can say is AMEN BROTHER
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got a buddy that has an ex wife that was in playboy. he says it best, "No matter how good she looks, someone somewhere is tired of her crap." all i can say is AMEN BROTHER
second that !!! It's a rarity to find a girl who is as beautiful inside as she is outside. Of course the few that are usually end up with some bone head that treat them like dirt.
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Here's a website that proves what you guys are talking about - http://hotchickswithdouchebags.com/ (http://hotchickswithdouchebags.com/)
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Here's a website that proves what you guys are talking about - http://hotchickswithdouchebags.com/ (http://hotchickswithdouchebags.com/)
Dude that's just a funny title!!! :*))
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Kinda sounds like you are over thinking all the little things! I think you should just bite the bullet and go for it!
My best friend (who is a 10 - as you guys put it) liked a guy that she worked with.....never spoke to him in over 12 months, waited until he was leaving the company to even say hi (after about 10 vodkas) This girl normally has no problems talking to guys (she talks non stop anyhow) but she didn't have the confidence to even have a chat, the point of this story is even super hot girls get shy......
Looking forward to an update!!
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no i still haven´t gone sly yet due to the dress code in my company. You can read my post in the Bussiness/Work section. I´m still waiting if i can sign a new contract with the company which will make me belong to them permanently and not temporary like i´m now.
Interesting....I can't imagine a company or industry that would prefer to have an employee with MPB (male pattern baldness) over a confident, sly bald guy. If you love your job, that's great. But the above statement struck me as odd.
As far as your lady situation, it sounds as is you're reading waaaaaaayyyy to much into every little thing. To use a baseball analogy, you can't get a base hit if you're sitting in the dug out. Take your best shot. What have you got to lose? I know one thing's for sure, you'll stop agonizing over it, whether or not she says yes.
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That's kinda what I thought schro, don't know any industry that would have a prob with LESS hair. Unless he's a male hair model or something.
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I take that back, News anchor people can't change thier appearance with out thier companies permission. Well had a local news chick that cut her hair really short and they made her sit out until it grew back. wouldn't of known about it except they had an article about in the city's editorial section of the paper.
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The problem where i work, which is in the airport, is that i work with public and my company doesn´t want anyone with shaved heads
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The problem where i work, which is in the airport, is that i work with public and my company doesn´t want anyone with shaved heads
Stupid question: What if you just didn't have any hair? would they've turned you down for a job?
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The problem where i work, which is in the airport, is that i work with public and my company doesn´t want anyone with shaved heads
Stupid question: What if you just didn't have any hair? would they've turned you down for a job?
.........which would be discrimination. and that ain't good for nobody.
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The problem where i work, which is in the airport, is that i work with public and my company doesn´t want anyone with shaved heads
Stupid question: What if you just didn't have any hair? would they've turned you down for a job?
.........which would be discrimination. and that ain't good for nobody.
exactly the point I'm trying to make, thanks paul O0 I can see not hiring some one cause of tats or piercings, or wild hair like mohawks or diff colors, but I don't buy the " no hair" thing.
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got a buddy that has an ex wife that was in playboy. he says it best, "No matter how good she looks, someone somewhere is tired of her crap." all i can say is AMEN BROTHER
second that !!! It's a rarity to find a girl who is as beautiful inside as she is outside. Of course the few that are usually end up with some bone head that treat them like dirt.
I have anti bone head spray....it's called Mase!
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As far as your lady situation, it sounds as is you're reading waaaaaaayyyy to much into every little thing. To use a baseball analogy, you can't get a base hit if you're sitting in the dug out. Take your best shot. What have you got to lose? I know one thing's for sure, you'll stop agonizing over it, whether or not she says yes.
I totally agree.
waffling is not only a terrible confidence destroyer, it builds things up to be way bigger than they really are.
Remind yourself of how great of a guy you are and how it is her loss if she aint going for it. Putting her on a pedestal will keep you in servitude.