Sly Bald Guys Forum
Discussions About Being Bald => To be or not be...Bald => Topic started by: EmDe on September 22, 2014, 04:07:26 PM
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Hi everyone,
This is my first post, but I have been reading through some of the threads here. My story is as follows:
A year or two ago, around age 23, my hair started to get thin really fast. My nice curls, that I used to recieve compliments about, got thinner and thinner. And it bothered me a lot. I was convinced that my look strongly depended on the hair on my head. At times it made me feel misserable. At some point however, I realized that the obsession with my hair was going to far. There were almost no pictures of me without caps or hats and I did everything to avoid getting my hair wet in the rain. Being aware of such behavior annoyed me the most. I always used to be outgoing and confident, but it had really taken its toll on me. Looking back, this was a sad time that could have been much shorter and less stressful.
One night, after a couple of drinks, I asked my roommate to cut my hair short. It didn't look amazing, but it helped to get used to a new look. Not so much in anticipation of the bald look, but rather because I finally started focussing on things that I enjoy again, I started working out consequently. Feeling strong and fit is great, but I have to say that looking strong and fit is also an important benefit. An athletic physique really suits my new look better. In the months that followed, I had my hair cut shorter and shorter, until the moment that I could just buzz it off myself. Now, at age 25, I reached one of the final stations; buzzing it with no guard, on +/- 1.2 mm.
Remembering all the worrying and reading on this forum, I wanted to share how relieved I feel right now. No concerns anymore. No hairproducts and haircuts anymore. And not that constant disappointment of losing something piece by piece anymore. Whereas I expected a lot of teasing and maybe even hurtful comments, the opposite occured: almost everyone got used to it as fast as I was. Especially the opinion of girls worried me a bit, but I haven't noticed any difference at all. I can strongly relate to the many stories I read here from people who have to overcome those insecurities, but I can just confirm that taking the leap can be one of the best choices you'll ever make. I hope that inspires some of you.
So, long story short: I want to thank everyone on here for being helpful, supportive and encouraging towards all of us who are in doubt. (It's a huge contrast to me with the unpleasant vibe on hairlosstalk, where everyone seems to talk each other deeper down the ditch) But I also have one more question... I do kinda like the current short buzz that leaves some hair visible, but I have also noticed that many of you prefer the shaved look. Should I stick to no-guard buzzcut, or do you think a razor shave would suit me better?
Last week at a wedding was the first time I'm on a picture (and was around those people) with my hair this short:
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Hi EmDe,
First off, I'm very happy for you that you got through this period of dealing with your hair loss rather quickly and are now feeling confident. I have a similar story but it took me a lot more time to feel good about myself. So good for you!
That picture of you is great. You look terrific sly - really a picture of a handsome and confident guy. You might want to try to razor shave and see how you like it. If you don't like it, you'll get your no-guard buzz back in a day or two. Really do what you prefer. Both will look good.
Good luck and have fun!
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I want to thank everyone on here for being helpful, supportive and encouraging towards all of us who are in doubt.
You have no idea how much a statement like that can mean to the other guys here, sir.
I am very glad you have found what makes you happy. Whether it be a shaved dome or a buzz, it is your head and your hair. Do whatever makes you feel good!
Glad you joined the board, Emde. Welcome!
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You look excellent bald man! I'd say shave it with a razor and cream because it will look really good and clean that way.
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You look fantastic...I'm getting a Freddie Ljungberg vibe from you! (Wrong country, I know, but hopefully still a compliment!)
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Wow! Change your middle name to "Confident"! You really look good. Oh to be 25 with a slick sly dome like yours!
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Thanks a lot for the kind words everybody. I almost felt like talking to random bald men on the streets, just to share some thoughts. Good that this forum exists.
@BBBA: Haha maybe. I do get more confident again, but before I buzzed it, I really have been feeling miserable… to the point of only standing at the dark spots on a dance floor so there wouldn't be bright lights shining on my head. Such a shame how society (?) programs people to fear something so common as hair loss.
Now I can mention countless advantages, such as standing out in a group or being perceived stronger/more masculine. But you guys already know those things for years ;)
Thanks again for responding!
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Welcome and congratulations! Looks great!
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I almost felt like talking to random bald men on the streets, just to share some thoughts. Good that this forum exists.
This is a good idea. Then give them a business card for SBG, available elsewhere on this site.
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You look fantastic...I'm getting a Freddie Ljungberg vibe from you! (Wrong country, I know, but hopefully still a compliment!)
Thanks for sharing your story. The look really suits you as Freddie Ljungberg look ! Congrats and don't be a bald stranger here !
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Yet another great example of someone taking control of their life and making positive changes. Kudos to you and also for sharing it here for those who have doubts to read.
As for going from the buzz to shaving ... there is very little visual difference. The tactile difference is huge. You own it to yourself to try shaving so you can experience the exquisite feel of a slick scalp.
Then ... decide which you like better, or alternate between them. The SBG crowd has plenty of guys on each side of that fence. Personally, the daily shave is part of my renewal. Wouldn't skip a day for anything.
Thanks again for posting. Hope you'll participate and provide additional encouragement to others.
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Well buddy, you truly look made for a sly look! Suits you 100%. Awesome!!!!!!!!!!
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Thanks a lot for the kind responses, I really appreciate it. I think I will start looking around for some good razor blades… I can go one tiny bit shorter with my electric trimmer, but after that I will give the shaving a try! I admit it still feels a little bit scary, because - until a couple of months ago - I never considered such a drastic move.
As far as it comes to being an active member: I definitely plan to. When I look back at my situation, I realize that the contrast between feeling miserable before buzzing and insanely relieved and enlightened after, was huge. I remember calling my parents, saying something along the line of 'you have your happy son back'. I spend countless hours reading on the internet before, and it really made me feel worried. "When you go bald your life is over", "You will lose several points on the attraction-scale", "Even the most unattractive girl would never pick a bald guy" and so on… the level of self-pity among many men is out of control. And they don't realize that this attitude would even make Brad Pitt unattractive.
I think that could be my forum contribution to other guys here in their twenties: encouraging words that I have experienced ZERO negative side-effects of my new look and many positive, despite being completely surrounded by guys/men with full heads of hair. I can't even mention one example. I have been very conscious about the responses of my family, friends and girls around me, and I will try to share some experiences when it seems fit.
Thanks again and good evening!
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Looks great, EmDe! I did find myself naturally drawn to your hairline with the visible stubble. I like the stubble, but think the completely shaven/sly look would suit you even better.
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Looks good. Would like to see one totally sly! You're a natural, dude!
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LOOKING GOOD BRO! O0
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Looks good
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Thanks guys! I have a crazy die-hard thesis writing month ahead, after which I expect to graduate. Right after that, it seems like a great moment to take the razor. A bit symbolical too… getting ready for some ass-kicking in the work field ;) I will post a picture when I took the plunge! Thanks again for the kind responses.
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Hi everyone,
Something just made me think of this forum, and I logged in for the first time in years. That shows that I've unfortunately not been an active and supportive member to others here. Apologies for that. I am writing this update because my long absence here shows something very positive:
My hair loss is absolutely NO issue for me whatsoever anymore. Zero.
Since I took the plunge (after a time of heavy struggles!) and created this thread, things have gone really well for me. I have an amazing job, a gorgeous fiancé, great friends... and I simply feel good. My lack of hair is a talking point sometimes - for instance when I joke about not wanting to get my hair wet in the rain, or when other friends mention that it might be their turn sometime soon - but I have literally not experienced ANY negativity about it, from anyone, over the past years.
What a huge contrast to my expectations when I first joined this forum. I've written it here before, but I am writing it again: thanks everyone, for taking the time to support others here. You have no idea how much impact some honest and kind words can have.
Although I haven't been contributing on this forum, I sometimes feel that I can influence the views on hair loss in my social circle. For instance by making my friends realize that loosing their hair will not suddenly make them less attractive (which is unfortunately such a common fear), or telling them that being kind, loyal, fun, ambitious, well-dressed, fit etc. are all factors they actually CAN influence. I really feel it's important that we counterbalance that negativity around hair loss that contributes to so many men feeling shitty.
Keep up the good vibe here, and thanks again so much for helping me get through that initial bump a couple of years ago!
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Thank you for the update, and I'm glad to hear you're doing well. Everyone's experience is different, but I also received nearly all positive reactions after going bald by choice. After 5 years, everyone just expects to see me with a shaved head, no big deal. I wish you continued happiness!