Sly Bald Guys Forum
Head Shaving, Grooming & Care => Head Shaving => Topic started by: baldingguy23 on August 21, 2014, 07:33:17 AM
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I had great hair, and now I'm 22 and bald and bearded. I feel like I look kinda similar when I'm bearded and bald, but when I'm completely bald my self confidence goes all the way down. I see so many people who are in their 40's' and 50's and still have a full head of hair and it makes me sick that at my age I'm already incapable of growing hair on top of my head.
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Most sly guys agree that facial hair helps with the overall sly ook. Be glad you can grow a beard at 22, most guys, like myself, had to wait much later in life for our beards to mature enough to sport a beard. The sly look is very popular amoung young guys now, even those that still have a full head of hair. Give yourself 30 days to adjust, grow a beard (or keep your current beard if you still have it). In time you will adjust to the look and you will not be able to picture yourself with hair on top.
My guys also make other changes when they go sly - workout and get physically fit, dress better, etc. All help to gain confidence.
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Not clear on as you say when your completely bald? You mean after you shave it all off?
A bald head is not a bad thing. Many men as in this forum shave a full head of hair to have a bald head.
Ever notice people how so many (not all) want to be what they are not as if what they are needs fixing?
People with curly hair straighten it, those with straight hair curl it.
Dark hair gets made blonde, blond hair dyed darker
People with light skin try to tan and those with dark skin try to lighten it.
Bald guys think they need hair and guys with full heads of hair want to get rid of it.
There are guys with full heads of hair that have it lasered off or tweezed out. You say you had nice hair and that was ok so now you have a great bald head and that doesn't need fixing its ok.
There are many people that will love the way you look bald and many that prefer a bald head.
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You have to learn to just do the best you can with what God gave you to work with. There are a lot bald guys in their 20s and in this day and age it is no bad thing. 20 or 30 years ago when shaving was really not an option, it was a much different story.
I wish I had shaved my head when I was your age. If I were your age now, it is something I would not hesitate to do. Maybe this realization only comes with a little maturity but hair is not nearly as important as a lot of people think it is -- and not because us old folks don't care about how we look.
Hang in there. It gets better.
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I've hear it said that God only created a few perfect heads, the rest he covered with hair.
I think envy and lack of confidence ultimately come from a lack of acceptance. Once you come to grips with the fact that you are what you are supposed to be, not what you think you want to be, the rest gets easier.
For you created my inmost being;
you knit me together in my mother’s womb.
I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
your works are wonderful,
I know that full well.
Psalm 139:13-14
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I have just turned 50 (Monday) and never thought of going bald at your age. Wish i had!
So much info these days and i feel so much better now that when i had hair!!!! I am still as ugly though! lol
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I thought it sucked to go bald at a young age, too. However, it helped me to embrace that I could not control my hair loss, but there are plenty of things I could control like maintaining a healthy weight, staying fit, dressing well, and being well groomed, which for me included keping my hair buzzed very short and now shaved bald.
If you feel more comfortable and confident bearded, then, by all means, keep the beard. I do think there are plenty of guys who look great clean shaven though. Look around this forum; you'll find them. Me personally, I can't change hairstyles, but I can change my facial hair and I do. Sometimes, I am clean shaven, sometimes I have a goatee, sometimes I have a full beard.
And I think it is just human nature to see something that you like or that you think looks good (like a forty year old with a full head of hair) and wish you had it. But shrug it off, and make the most of what you have. It is only hair.
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I have just turned 50 (Monday)
Happy Belated Birthday!
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Hi baldingguy23. You use the word incapable but it's not about that. You are you - be yourself, just as capable or incapable as anyone regardless of hair. At 22 it can be an adjustment that has come a bit early perhaps but please try not to compare with others like the car he or she owns or the bank balance they have. Thank you for sharing your story and be yourself, don't go chasing a fix.
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...on the other hand....you've got balding behind you. Would you have preferred the equivalent of the Chinese Water Torture where, day after day, month after month, year after year...you got balder. And what you would try to do about it-based on the pathology your present-would have been:
comb overs, ever shorter cuts, crew cuts, butch cuts, .01 cuts and then...you've got a full tonsure, that circle of hair surrounding...nothing. Then what?
No one is, in jest, going to comment on your falling-or fallen-locks, in a year the way you look is the way everyone expects you to look. It's the look you'll expect to see...As Cher said to Nicholas Cage in "Moonstruck", "Get over it...!".
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This is your opportunity to mature enough to realize that your appearance is not your identity.
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This is your opportunity to mature enough to realize that your appearance is not your identity.
Problem with that is that the world sees it differently! We all judge by what we see which is wrong i know.
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This is your opportunity to mature enough to realize that your appearance is not your identity.
Problem with that is that the world sees it differently! We all judge by what we see which is wrong i know.
I'm with the Sly Bear on this. The reason that the judgement of others is a non-issue is that their judgments are more about them than they are of the person they are judging. This hair loss thing is a bit of adversity, nothing more. Sure, there is some emotional pain involved but to suffer is one's own decision.
The same with the judgments of others. What other people think of me, the way I am, is unimportant to me because it is not something I can control. And the harder I try to be accepted by everyone the more I lose myself.
I think it is a sign of maturing that a person declines to allow the judgement of others to dictate the person that they are.
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Yes, but, most people do care about what others think of them. It is only human to do so. It is hard for most to pull the shutters down on what others think of them. This is the world that we live in i am afraid.
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Speaking of what people think, Mr Goatee, great looking new photo.
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I have just turned 50 (Monday) and never thought of going bald at your age. Wish i had!
So much info these days and i feel so much better now that when i had hair!!!! I am still as ugly though! lol
from the looks of the new avatar I think we would all agree that the still ugly remarks can safely be put in a box on the top shelf all the way in the back of the closet LOCKED!
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I have just turned 50 (Monday) and never thought of going bald at your age. Wish i had!
So much info these days and i feel so much better now that when i had hair!!!! I am still as ugly though! lol
from the looks of the new avatar I think we would all agree that the still ugly remarks can safely be put in a box on the top shelf all the way in the back of the closet LOCKED!
I agree, i am as ugly as sin!
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Speaking of what people think, Mr Goatee, great looking new photo.
Cheers!
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I had great hair, and now I'm 22 and bald and bearded. I feel like I look kinda similar when I'm bearded and bald, but when I'm completely bald my self confidence goes all the way down. I see so many people who are in their 40's' and 50's and still have a full head of hair and it makes me sick that at my age I'm already incapable of growing hair on top of my head.
I felt exactly as you did, when I had hair; Its probably something inside yourself worried
about projection onto others. "The whole feeling like self thing"
If it helps, people dont just assume you were balding so you shaved your head, in fact
most people just see a "guy", noticing youre bald doesnt happen right away.
Even then, most just assume you shaved it because its "sexy", as ive been told.
Nobody ever thought that it was because I lost my hair on top anyway!
Most dont believe it unless i let a few days of growth, crown my head for proof haha.
That is unless they knew you for awhile, in which case they will get used to it; always do.
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You are learning the lessons of life early, that's all.
Last February, I lost my partner of almost 12 years, suddenly, traumatically, without warning. Puts EVERYTHING into perspective.
I WAS partnered, now I am not.
Did not expect to celebrate my 50th, this past April, as a widower.
We had vacation plans, retirement plans... you name it.
"der mensch tracht und gott lacht" Man plans, and god laughs!
So your identity was wrapped up in your hair. Now you are bald and bearded.
So what?
Get over it!
Seriously... far more things to worry about than that.
Sorry if I sound uncaring... but... it's hair.
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Perspective, young one perspective.
Maybe you're finding out who you really are?
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Yes, but, most people do care about what others think of them. It is only human to do so. It is hard for most to pull the shutters down on what others think of them. This is the world that we live in i am afraid.
When you attribute this to "being human" I'm afraid I must beg to differ. Ima splain why.
This need for approval is a societal thing, nature vs. nurture. It is the way we are brought up, not hard wiring. We are taught by our parents and other authority figures to rely on the approval of others as evidence that we are good human beings. If we're talking about behaviors then I would agree that, to an extent, we can use the opinions of others as to our behavior as a yardstick to measure whether we are good neighbors/friends/citizens. We can control and even alter our behavior with regard to how we interact with our fellow humans.
With regard to that which I cannot control it is a pure waste of time to allow the opinions of others to affect me even slightly. So I'm bald and the guy three cubicles over doesn't like it. That causes no disruption of MY sleep patterns. Maybe he doesn't like tall people either. I'm 6'-4" tall. Is it possible for me to accommodate his opinion by shrinking? Do I even care?
With regard to behaviors, if my behavior is characteristically out of line and I don't consider the upset that I cause others as a result that would tend to make me a dangerous borderline psychopath. So if that is what you were referring to in the quoted statement I agree.
But since we are talking about balding, which is uncontrollable, and the remedies normally spoken of in here (which injure no one) then I say to hell with anyone else's opinion of me and my shiny dome.
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Hang with it - it will become more natural as time goes by. I've been at it for almost a year now and when I see pictures of myself with hair, and how it receded so far up to the top of my head, along with the beginnings of the "monk" in the back....it feels more natural now more than ever.