Sly Bald Guys Forum

Discussions About Being Bald => 30 Day Rule / Beginners Section => Topic started by: Dusty on June 26, 2014, 03:49:29 AM

Title: Wife not aboard?
Post by: Dusty on June 26, 2014, 03:49:29 AM
Just want to say hello for my first time here. Solid site with great answers to many questions I've had.

Well, me going bald was inevitable... As every male direct relative I have, is bald. I'm 28, gradually receding and tired of the same things most of you guys were. Hair's got to be right, no getting wet, etc. Told my wife last night that I was probably shaving my head Friday after work. She said the, "OMG No. I will cry! You have plenty of hair." And she doesn't get it. She's a hairstylist, so she cuts my hair, and KNOWS how self-conscious I am of my hairline.

We've actually got our 10 year class reunion this weekend (which the guys golf before, so I could get some sun, if I decide to shave my head before). Figured it'd be a hell of a way to break the ice with a new bald head.

Have any of you guys experienced this somewhat with your wife?

I asked my 3 year old son (Ian) if daddy should shave his head bald to look like baby Zane (our 6 month old son)... He grinned and agreed :)
Title: Re: Wife not aboard?
Post by: Frontier Guy on June 26, 2014, 04:24:54 AM
Welcome Dusty,

Can't help you with the concerns of your wife. As an outsider, it feels like she is thinking more of herself than about you which is disappointing.

Although I encourage you to shave because it is a great unburdening and will be a sensational icebreaker when you see the "old gang" again, I'll caution you to use plenty of sunscreen if you go golfing. Skin which has been sheltered from sun for decades needs a bit of gentle adjustment in order to tan and not burn.

Welcome to the group.
Title: Re: Wife not aboard?
Post by: Dusty on June 26, 2014, 05:23:25 AM
Thanks for the welcoming. She sent me a nice text this morning (I leave for work a few hours before she awakes), that she thinks I'll look good, wants me to be happy... She just doesn't want me to freak out.

Fear of the unknown is what kills me!
Title: Re: Wife not aboard?
Post by: Mike E. P. on June 26, 2014, 07:00:55 AM
My wife never gave me any grief over what I did to the hair on my head - facial hair - that's another story! Ultimately, I do what I like and she is fine with that.

It's great she sent you that note today - so she is supportive and thinking of how you feel. The look of a first time shaved head can be jarring, and it does take some time getting used to it, but I think you will come to love the look and feel, just like most guys here- and your wife will come along in time, too!
Title: Re: Wife not aboard?
Post by: reddog on June 26, 2014, 07:35:58 AM
Welcome Dusty, she might just love it, if not, she will get used to it. My girlfriend knows I'm BBC, and regularly comments that she thinks I'm handsome with my bald head. There are so many shaved heads here in Minnesota, that I told her I didn't like the fact that I wasn't so different anymore, I like being less mainstream. So she asked if I was going to grow my hair back, and I said NO, not yet. She said "good".

Looks like I picked a winner!
Title: Re: Wife not aboard?
Post by: Cave Dweller on June 26, 2014, 09:10:15 AM
I take her initial statement as meaning she likes you the way you are and therefore does not see the need to change anything. Her follow up message indicates to me that she really cares about you and is willing to go along with what you want. You are a very lucky man, sir!

So when are you planning to do the deed?

Title: Re: Wife not aboard?
Post by: Dusty on June 26, 2014, 09:41:22 AM
More than likely Friday after work... It'll let my friends see me bald first over the weeken, versus first impressions from coworkers. Looking forward to it!
Title: Re: Wife not aboard?
Post by: warhawk on June 26, 2014, 09:44:00 AM
Hi Dusty:  Welcome to the sly fraternity.  If you haven't already, post up in the INTRODUCTION section of the forum so we can give you a proper welcome especially when you do the deed this Friday.  You got a very smart son.  :) 

WARHAWK O0
Title: Re: Wife not aboard?
Post by: slybeard on June 26, 2014, 11:03:35 AM
It is not unusual for wives to not be on board with change of any type.  It took my wife a good 6 months to come around, now she loves it.  Took another few months for my beard.
Title: Re: Wife not aboard?
Post by: Sir Harry on June 26, 2014, 08:08:56 PM
Welcome, Dusty

I think that this is a bold-and big-step for you and the Mrs. That's why we have the 30-day rule....It's not just for us to get used to, it's for the ones we love as well. Good luck and post a picture when you get a chance!
Title: Re: Wife not aboard?
Post by: AJ Q-Ball on June 26, 2014, 11:18:12 PM
Hey Dusty,

I'm glad to hear your wife is fine with you shaving your head.  I've never had to experience that but I know what it's like living with a cosmetologist since my mother was one.  It doesn't surprise me you got that initial reaction.  You will feel so much better without having to worry about hair.  Don't worry about the reactions of others because those only last a short time.  You may find that some reactions can be hilarious.  I got some good laughs from how people perceived my newly shaved head.  Keep us all updated on how things go and let us know if we can help.  Welcome to an awesome brotherhood!
Title: Re: Wife not aboard?
Post by: Dusty on June 27, 2014, 08:14:24 PM
Well, my wife buzzed it with a 0, and I'm very happy right now. I might keep it like this for a few days so my head can adjust. Already feel a weight off my shoulders knowing I don't and can't hide my pattern baldness. Thanks for the votes of confidence guys!
Title: Re: Wife not aboard?
Post by: Mike E. P. on June 27, 2014, 08:45:45 PM
Dusty,

Well, you look happy and the buzzed head looks good. Good for you!
Title: Re: Wife not aboard?
Post by: buzzedbald on June 27, 2014, 09:41:07 PM
Welcome Dusty!  The zero buzz looks great!  If you decide to shave it will be an easy transition! 
Title: Re: Wife not aboard?
Post by: xnewyawka on June 28, 2014, 10:43:22 AM
Welcome Dusty, looks like you made the right choice. I was going to suggest you take it down gradually to a zero buzz, but you've already done that.
Now you can get used to having less hair, and it may help you make the next jump to a blade shave. When you do, I guarantee you will love it.  O0
Title: Re: Wife not aboard?
Post by: slymyke on June 28, 2014, 04:37:16 PM
Looks great, Dusty! O0.  I'm glad your wife did it for you--- instant buy-in!
Title: Re: Wife not aboard?
Post by: shootinfool73 on June 29, 2014, 02:30:09 AM
Hey Dusty....
Mine had the same initial response....NO...because it seemed like a big transition (even though half of my head was already bald).   But then after I talked about it a bit and and why I wanted to...she understood...
The first day was a shocker because it was so new.  Even I freaked a little because I wasnt used to all that white area.   Now, a month later, she likes it fine...  But I did ask her after a couple weeks to be 100% honest with me about what she thought because aside from my own, her opinion was the only one that mattered to me (regarding how I looked).

In fact, she thinks it's nice (and "sexier" than she thought).  Lets just say I have her hook, line and sinker now... :@`   

I did the buzz cut thing first and was PLANNING on leaving it that way at first, too... but I didnt like all that fuzz and the rough sandpaper feeling...so shaving for the total bald look was only natural.  I think you'll love it...