Sly Bald Guys Forum
Discussions About Being Bald => To be or not be...Bald => Topic started by: oakdan5 on September 23, 2013, 08:15:26 PM
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http://My hair has been receding and thinning for awhile. Since I was 16 I started losing and at 19 got on propecia. It worked fairly well for a good 8, 9 yrs..I was able to fool most ppl that I had hair with a solid NW 2.5 and slow thinning. But the last 2 yrs it has got a lil worse. I am a good NW3 with thinning in the front and a little in the back. The rest is thick. With a good haircut I was ok. But like most people who have exp balding..the rain, wind, pools, being real active and sweaty etc messes it up bad and always annoying. There is always that concern that the girl your dating notices and worry to what will happen when she does. The constant thorn in your side of knowing where it will eventually go... Well I'm 31 now and I felt tired of it... and got drunk one night a couple of weeks ago and bic'd it. I didn't like it. It looks ok, but I don't feel that it is me. Problem now is it grows back fast and the temples are so noticeable when it gets past a certain length. I buzzed it down to a .5 guard and that help hide the recession a lot but still looked pretty much bald. I'm not feeling the sly look, was never my thing...plus I am tan from being in phoenix and my head is pale so having just a little hair up there helps with that contrast. I don't know what to do. If I grow it back there is going to be that period of time before I can make it look deceant.. Or I can keep buzzing down and try to get use to it and and eventually move on to the sly. A part of me thinks that I should enjoy the hair that I have until it really gets to the point of no return..and then I also ponder if I should just keep with it and move on. It is tough, I want hair back and of course just want a full of head of hair. It hurts also because I am only 5'7''...I think if I was taller it would be easier to deal with.
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Welcome, Oakdan.
Don't think you are alone. Most men who experience male pattern baldness go through a time when they want their hair back. There is a whole hair "restoration" industry out there banking on it. Height has nothing to do with that.
If you can grow your hair out to a point at which you can enjoy having it, then I am of the opinion you should do what makes you happy. If Sly isn't for you, that's OK. There is plenty of time to decide whatever you want to do. Just don't fall back into the trap of letting your self-image get wrapped up in your hairline.
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It takes a while to adjust to the change. Buzzing it down was the right thing to do; the MPB is only going to get worse.
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Welcome, Oakdan.
Don't think you are alone. Most men who experience male pattern baldness go through a time when they want their hair back. There is a whole hair "restoration" industry out there banking on it. Height has nothing to do with that.
If you can grow your hair out to a point at which you can enjoy having it, then I am of the opinion you should do what makes you happy. If Sly isn't for you, that's OK. There is plenty of time to decide whatever you want to do. Just don't fall back into the trap of letting your self-image get wrapped up in your hairline.
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Yes I think I will experiment with it, at least now I know. I actually have had my head shaved before I just kind of forgot. It is not bad/horrible, I just prefer myself with hair and not sure if it necessary yet to go for the bald look or if I am ready for it. It was kind of a hasty decision and now that I notice the reactions to a lot of people around me seeing that most of them couldnt even tell that I was receding and not that it is noticeable. I always keep it real short, just a little length in the front and short on the sides.
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It takes a while to adjust to the change. Buzzing it down was the right thing to do; the MPB is only going to get worse.
I see the pros and cons in both ways, I think like I mentioned above I will just experiment with it. I feel the 'thorn' is gone at least and when and if I grow it back out I at least know that when the time comes to the point of no return I can just go for it. I am on the thought of keeping it while I have it for the moment. I will put some pics up when I figure out how
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Buzzed
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You look great this way or shaved, just like so many other guys, don't stress out. It looks very good.
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You look great this way or shaved, just like so many other guys, don't stress out. It looks very good.
Thanks, but for me It is so weird not seeing hair and my forehead looks so big, I'm just so not use to the hard look.
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It looks normal to me. I would think this was typical for you if you hadn't told me differently.
Thirty day trial would be a good thing for you. Get used to seeing it that way and then make a decision.
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Welcome! Looking at the pics, the buzz looks pretty solid....but if you go all the way sly, your forehead may look smaller. I think you have the perfect headshape for sly myself. As far as the height issue, sly has no side restrictions. Nowadays, sly is so common, people hardly comment. Good luck to you in whatever you decide.
P.S. Have you thought about growing some facial hair? A goatee, a beard, or even just a mustache go well with a sly head; in most cases the two go hand in hand.....(especially a sly head with a goatee)
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Thanks, but for me It is so weird not seeing hair and my forehead looks so big, I'm just so not use to the hard look.
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I know what you mean, it will take time to adjust to your new look. This is where the 30 day rule (shave / trim it down every day for 30 days) is worth trying. By the end of it you should be used to how you look and then can decide whether or not to keep going.
I've just finished doing this myself - and it took me a couple of weeks to stop seeing "some bald guy" when I caught my reflection and start just seeing "me."
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What you are feeling is the reason for the 30 day rule.
Yes, you look different. I've not seen you before, so you don't look different to me. Your buzz is very manly.
When I first shaved my head, I was committed to stick with it. Took a while before I saw the image in the mirror as being ME. I've adjusted and those around me have adjusted. You have a military look .... short buzz. T-shirt.
You look good. Give it some time.
Note, the primary difference between your current buzz and a SLY head is not the look, but the feel. Something wonderful about the feel of a freshly shaved head. Nice and smooth!
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I wrote my first post before you put up pictures.
You seriously have nothing to look worry about if you stay like that, Oakdan. You look great.
[EDIT: I have GOT to stop posting while I am half asleep.]
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Welcome to SBG ! Buzzed down looks great ! Looks just natural recession - part of life so time to accept and move on. I'm only 5'6" tall, so when I began balding it seemed like EVERYONE noticed my growing forehead - haha. Keep us posted and we are here to offer support.
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Oakdan,
The guys are right... you look good like that. But, if you want to grow it back out and have as much hair as you can have for a while longer, then grow it back. But you have to remind yourself why you decided to shave or buzz it in the first place. I wish I had skipped the years of "balding" and just gone strait to a shaved head. We each have to do what is best for us at the time. Now you know you look good with a shaved or buzzed head. You can always shave it back off.. and you can always grow it back out (well, one day you will have less to grow out but you know what I mean- lol)
I do like the recommendations of those who said to give this look some time to get used to first. It's like anything else different...just takes time to get used to. The positives will most likely outweigh the negatives in a short amount of time.
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Whatever makes you feel comfortable, do it. If you have to toss and turn at night thinking about your hair loss, I think you know what to do.
It's just hair, now stand tall and enjoy life. I'm about your height and I can confirm that I have gotten WAYYYY more compliments on being sly than negative reactions.
Good luck either way.
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I wrote my first post before you put up pictures.
You seriously have nothing to look worry about if you stay like that, Oakdan. You look great.
thanks, I think it is the adjustment period, I will try to keep the look longer, it is really nice not having to wry about it and just to buzz it every couple days.
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Welcome to SBG ! Buzzed down looks great ! Looks just natural recession - part of life so time to accept and move on. I'm only 5'6" tall, so when I began balding it seemed like EVERYONE noticed my growing forehead - haha. Keep us posted and we are here to offer support.
I think the buzzed down hides the recession a bit it is quite far back and I should actually have another pic that gets both temples more noticeable. It is nice certainly it is just that identity part I suppose of having hair, when it is grown it covers the recession more but it feels less honest I think..plus the middle part in the front is a bit thinner than the rest. I will exp and may stay this one, I really like how convient it is to roll out of bed and just go about my day w/o worrying about styling what I have left.
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Welcome! Looking at the pics, the buzz looks pretty solid....but if you go all the way sly, your forehead may look smaller. I think you have the perfect headshape for sly myself. As far as the height issue, sly has no side restrictions. Nowadays, sly is so common, people hardly comment. Good luck to you in whatever you decide.
P.S. Have you thought about growing some facial hair? A goatee, a beard, or even just a mustache go well with a sly head; in most cases the two go hand in hand.....(especially a sly head with a goatee)
I think some facial hair would look good, however I am in the military so not an option right now. Iike having a lil facial stubble on the weekend gives a good contrast.
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What you have my friend is an annoying hairline! You aren't 'bald' as such but you also don't have the hairline for great hair.
How do I know this - we're pretty much hairline twins and from what I see. Your hairline is what mine would be like if I buzzed. I also have a small baldspot at the back too.
The problem is when you have hair on the top, and you don't want to be bald, there is a false sense of security you can grow it back but if you grow it back it's not the hair you want! When I started to suffer from MPB I was like "well just go if you're going" but it didn't it just went further back. lTo make matters worse when you buzz it shows your hairline even more because that's all there is to see and you can't disguise.
So what do you do? I spent a few years growing / shaving / growing . Always felt I looked better with hair but then the hair used to make me feel conscious especially when wet, wind or from behind. I'd then shave, not feeling happy so I'd grow again and then...... well you'd get the picture.
I went to a 0 and got used to it and then one Friday evening I shaved my head with a razor, I wasn't keen and thought I looked stupid, clippering had been bad but this was worse! So I grew back to a zero but then repeated this a few times...... from that point of view I then felt more comfortable not having a hairline in view. I was sly!
Every so often I think, oh I could have hair but I know I'd still have a small bald spot and a far back hairline so my preference is to shave daily.
Shaving my head isn't a fashion statement for me. I'd like to have hair and I think I look better with hair but as I say it's rubbish hair so now I have got used to it, this is the best look for me. It's not about the feel of it, apart from when I shave I don't really sit rubbing my head. For me, this is the best way to disguise I'm going bald - ironically choosing to be bald is much better for me than bald happening. And that's what being sly is.
Hoped that waffle helped in some way!
welcome to the forum
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Welcome! Looking at the pics, the buzz looks pretty solid....but if you go all the way sly, your forehead may look smaller. I think you have the perfect headshape for sly myself. As far as the height issue, sly has no side restrictions. Nowadays, sly is so common, people hardly comment. Good luck to you in whatever you decide.
P.S. Have you thought about growing some facial hair? A goatee, a beard, or even just a mustache go well with a sly head; in most cases the two go hand in hand.....(especially a sly head with a goatee)
I think some facial hair would look good, however I am in the military so not an option right now. Iike having a lil facial stubble on the weekend gives a good contrast.
I think if you grow a "soul patch" you will look like Jesse from Breaking Bad. Then you and DanO (as Walt) can go to events and autograph for the fans. O0
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What you have my friend is an annoying hairline! You aren't 'bald' as such but you also don't have the hairline for great hair.
How do I know this - we're pretty much hairline twins and from what I see. Your hairline is what mine would be like if I buzzed. I also have a small baldspot at the back too.
The problem is when you have hair on the top, and you don't want to be bald, there is a false sense of security you can grow it back but if you grow it back it's not the hair you want! When I started to suffer from MPB I was like "well just go if you're going" but it didn't it just went further back. lTo make matters worse when you buzz it shows your hairline even more because that's all there is to see and you can't disguise.
So what do you do? I spent a few years growing / shaving / growing . Always felt I looked better with hair but then the hair used to make me feel conscious especially when wet, wind or from behind. I'd then shave, not feeling happy so I'd grow again and then...... well you'd get the picture.
I went to a 0 and got used to it and then one Friday evening I shaved my head with a razor, I wasn't keen and thought I looked stupid, clippering had been bad but this was worse! So I grew back to a zero but then repeated this a few times...... from that point of view I then felt more comfortable not having a hairline in view. I was sly!
Every so often I think, oh I could have hair but I know I'd still have a small bald spot and a far back hairline so my preference is to shave daily.
Shaving my head isn't a fashion statement for me. I'd like to have hair and I think I look better with hair but as I say it's rubbish hair so now I have got used to it, this is the best look for me. It's not about the feel of it, apart from when I shave I don't really sit rubbing my head. For me, this is the best way to disguise I'm going bald - ironically choosing to be bald is much better for me than bald happening. And that's what being sly is.
Hoped that waffle helped in some way!
welcome to the forum
You recognized it. I agree too, the hairline is much more visible now and why I felt kind of stupid about it...but at the same time I realize that this is where my hair is going. I can do the whole jude law thing for awhile..and maybe I will. The buzz right now looks ok because I have tanned all the areas around it. The bald spot in the back is more like a thinning spot and when I grow it out a bit it not really noticeable. I will experiment and see what happens.
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One pic me at 24 with most of my hair at the time. The second pic is more what my hair looks like now grown out...this was about 2 years ago but give an idea with the recession..it is a lil worse now but not drastic. That is the whole identity change thing, it is so weird..even when I grow my hair out now I trick myself into thinking I still have hair like when I was younger. It is stupid but I guess that is just how I am.
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I recommend not going back to the first picture, but the second looks good as the buzz pictures. You are the one that has to live with it, so take your time and decide what works for you.
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I recommend not going back to the first picture, but the second looks good as the buzz pictures. You are the one that has to live with it, so take your time and decide what works for you.
Lol yeah I agree also, If i tried to grow my hair like that now I would look terrible...that was after a hike anyhow. I always keep it short. I know I need to get over the hurdle and forget about this part of my life.
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Whatever makes you feel comfortable, do it. If you have to toss and turn at night thinking about your hair loss, I think you know what to do.
It's just hair, now stand tall and enjoy life. I'm about your height and I can confirm that I have gotten WAYYYY more compliments on being sly than negative reactions.
Good luck either way.
Are you bald by choice?
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Whatever makes you feel comfortable, do it. If you have to toss and turn at night thinking about your hair loss, I think you know what to do.
It's just hair, now stand tall and enjoy life. I'm about your height and I can confirm that I have gotten WAYYYY more compliments on being sly than negative reactions.
Good luck either way.
Are you bald by choice?
I am about in the same exact situation as you. Thinning/receding, didn't want to continue using tons of product/being self conscious about it/wearing hats frequently, so I just chopped it off. Hid under the hat for a while because I felt it aged me drastically at first (I am currently 29, been shaving for a few years), but came out from under the hat and have never looked back.
My confidence has soared, I have a beautiful girlfriend, life is grand.
If I grew my hair back, it would look exactly like your photos, only blonde, which makes the balding appearance worse.
I'm done with buying hair products, I just use the same razor/shaving cream I use on my face and call it a day.
Any questions/concerns/tips/tricks/etc, give me a PM.
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Whatever makes you feel comfortable, do it. If you have to toss and turn at night thinking about your hair loss, I think you know what to do.
It's just hair, now stand tall and enjoy life. I'm about your height and I can confirm that I have gotten WAYYYY more compliments on being sly than negative reactions.
Good luck either way.
You look good with it. Do you tan? I am at that tired stage but still not feeling being the bald guy yet.
Are you bald by choice?
I am about in the same exact situation as you. Thinning/receding, didn't want to continue using tons of product/being self conscious about it/wearing hats frequently, so I just chopped it off. Hid under the hat for a while because I felt it aged me drastically at first (I am currently 29, been shaving for a few years), but came out from under the hat and have never looked back.
My confidence has soared, I have a beautiful girlfriend, life is grand.
If I grew my hair back, it would look exactly like your photos, only blonde, which makes the balding appearance worse.
I'm done with buying hair products, I just use the same razor/shaving cream I use on my face and call it a day.
Any questions/concerns/tips/tricks/etc, give me a PM.
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You look very good with the tight buzz or a shave would also look great which you should experiment with while you have it this short anyway. But think of it like this, we never knew you before and so someone just meeting you will not know this is any change for you and will not know you are bothered by it when compared to the hair you had years ago. That said you have every reason to be confident you look great now, just in a different way than you remember but others will not have any other image of you to compare it to. Believe me almost no one walks around today thinking about a guy that is bald or buzzed and that he must used to have had more hair. Being buzzed or sly is such a common hairstyle no one is pitying anyone any more so why pity yourself ? I can still grow like 85% of my hair but I love being either tightly buzzed, or with a shaved High & Tight or simply a shaved head. I just love it now and would never have longer hair for any reason. No one new who meets me even thinks of me with liking or having much hair. I interviewed for a new job earlier this year deliberately shaved so they would never have any other image of me and I got plenty of offers. Find the confidence within with your new look and do not even consider you have lost anything because you really have not. You have gained a great new contemporary haircut either buzzed or shaved smooth. Try the razor and you will love the feel and the high forehead disappears completely.
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I do think it's definitely necessary to get a nice tan going on to help with the ol white head syndrome. I haven't tanned in a tanning booth in some time, but I do sit outside and have lunch sometimes, and I am outdoors quite a bit, taking the dog on walks, etc, you get plenty of sun that way.
Your head color will blend into your typical darker skintone before long. If you like, go hop into a tanning booth. I used to go about 1-2x a week just to keep a constant semi tan.
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Listen to Plano and Slyest in this thread. They had some very nice responses.
And whatever you do.... do NOT go back to the "tall" hairdo you had in that first picture. Whoa......
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I'd say keep it buzzed and get used to it slowly. Like I say your hair is pretty much going the way mine went and it just gets to the point where you feel like you're clinging on. One of the things I found was if I looked in the mirror I thought it was ok but then shocked myself in photos!
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One of the things I found was if I looked in the mirror I thought it was ok but then shocked myself in photos!
I have found that too. The "mirror, mirror" effect.
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I'd say keep it buzzed and get used to it slowly. Like I say your hair is pretty much going the way mine went and it just gets to the point where you feel like you're clinging on. One of the things I found was if I looked in the mirror I thought it was ok but then shocked myself in photos!
Certainly true. The mirror always seems ok to me also, but anytime I see a photo I just go damn my forhead is so big, can see the recession..I really can't figure out why it would look ok in the mirror. I have been getting comments over the years about my hair. Heck even when I was a seinor in HS i got them. The last 3 yrs though have been the worst. It is funny though because some people dont think of balding until you are really balding, and then some think balding is just a bit of recession. I been keeping it at a .5 guard ever 2-3 days. I might go 0 for the weekend. It has been about 3 weeks. I have gotten use to it, but a part of me wants to grow it out a bit I will post a pic of when I did this after basic training.
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This shows about 1.5 months of growth. I did this after basic training but eventually grew it out more because I was uncomfortable of my temples. I feel fine with the recession now, but not sure if it would look the same..this was over 3 years ago. I have lost a bit since then but not dramatic amount. I might give it a go and if it looks like crap then I can easily return to the short buzz or sly if feel like it.
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In that picture the hair looks too long relative to the front/top. You could try a High & Tight with shave sides & back and leave some hair on top. But really just go for the 0 bare clipper cut. The high forehead is an illusion caused by too much hair still un shaved on the top of your head :). Just go for it and clipper shave it down and the high forehead disappears. You will love it.
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I think this looks OK, but as Chgo mentions, it's a rounded style that doesn't compliment your face shape as well. If you want some hair, I concur that shorter on the sides tapering up to the top would suit your face better.
BUT, as a friend and colleague of mine says, "If you like it, I love it." It's really about what you like after all. :)
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One of the things I found was if I looked in the mirror I thought it was ok but then shocked myself in photos!
I had the same experience. I think that is what explains why some guys walk around with hair that we all see as needing to be shaved, but they are not ready to see it yet... (especially the guys who have a "clump" of hair in the front. They see it from straight-on in the mirror and don't see all the baldness behind it). This makes me feel blessed for having had the receding hair-line instead. It makes us quicker to see it for what it truly is.
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What I am notice here is that everyone is really bias to not having hair. I agree with a lot of the feedback but will weigh the options and experiment. Thanks for the replies.
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What I am notice here is that everyone is really bias to not having hair. I agree with a lot of the feedback but will weigh the options and experiment. Thanks for the replies.
When it comes down to a choice between a partial head of hair and no hair ( and that IS what we'retalking about here), then no hair wins every time.
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I'm biased toward you doing what makes you happy. If you like it, I love it. If you want my advice, I'll tell you. I hope this doesn't mean you're leaving. I enjoyed getting to know you. :(
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Oakdan, even if you never go sly, we hope that you can stick around and participate still. We have members that are balding and still keep either close cut horseshoes or buzz cuts. The purpose of this site is to show men (and women) that hair loss and balding is not the end of the world. Further, we encourage camaraderie and even if a guy does not go sly, we want to show them that they can still live a full life in spite of their hair loss. Whatever you decide to do, we wish you the best and we will support you. There is a place for you here regardless of how much hair you choose to keep.
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What I am notice here is that everyone is really bias to not having hair. I agree with a lot of the feedback but will weigh the options and experiment. Thanks for the replies.
Always the bets thing to you as it's you that has to wear (or not wear!) the hair.
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Thanks guys and it is just a tough time for me, it is the acceptance phase. I went ahead and shaved with a 0 and it looks good. I went out and made out with a girl and had a couple others tell me they love my bald head. The girl i made out with thought I was 24. It does make me look younger! Appreciate the encouragement it is just hard letting go to that identity. I can see why now the 30 day rule is so important, ..eveb thiugh i wasnt feeling at first I see now why it is so important. Feeling good ...finally accepted my genetic fate and feel comfortable in my skin.
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Thanks guys and it is just a tough time for me, it is the acceptance phase. I went ahead and shaved with a 0 and it looks good. I went out and made out with a girl and had a couple others tell me they love my bald head. The girl i made out with thought I was 24. It does make me look younger! Appreciate the encouragement it is just hard letting go to that identity. I can see why now the 30 day rule is so important, ..eveb thiugh i wasnt feeling at first I see now why it is so important. Feeling good ...finally accepted my genetic fate and feel comfortable in my skin.
awesome! my advice based on that last picture was gunna be take it down really tight like a 1 or 0, you can definitely rock it.
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Thanks guys and it is just a tough time for me, it is the acceptance phase. I went ahead and shaved with a 0 and it looks good. I went out and made out with a girl and had a couple others tell me they love my bald head. The girl i made out with thought I was 24. It does make me look younger! Appreciate the encouragement it is just hard letting go to that identity. I can see why now the 30 day rule is so important, ..eveb thiugh i wasnt feeling at first I see now why it is so important. Feeling good ...finally accepted my genetic fate and feel comfortable in my skin.
awesome! my advice based on that last picture was gunna be take it down really tight like a 1 or 0, you can definitely rock it.
Thanks, yeah looks better than had thought and I am use to it now. Had another good night lots of good reactions, girls stareing at me, one called me a white vin diesal lol. I did have one person tell me I look 45 wtf, she was older though and most likely just associated bald with old. For the most part ppl have guessed that I am younger than I am.
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Sounds like you found routine that works for you ! Rock it ! :)
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Oakdan,
I know how you feel all too well. The summer after I graduated I got tired of my hair (it was still think then) and grabbed a pair of clippers and gave myself a "do-it-yourselfer' with a #2. I was shocked too, but everyone seemed to like it (even my mom who does NOT like the sly look). After a while with the advancement of thinning hair I kept buzzing it. Shorter and shorter, then I (finally) went sly.
You honestly look very good with the short hair. If the #1 or 0 works for you (and it must as you mention getting noticed, admired and have girls check you out) - you are obviously in a good place. However, you should at least give the smooth look a try, even just to experiment with how you look. You'd be at a #0 length in just a few days, if you decide it's not for you.
It's a hard decision but it gets easier over time to deal with it and enjoy it!