Sly Bald Guys Forum
Discussions About Being Bald => 30 Day Rule / Beginners Section => Topic started by: BrianFromCalifornia on August 21, 2013, 09:15:23 PM
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Hi,
I'm 46 years old and have been a "client" for 23 long years. Amazing to me that I've been wearing a "system" for half of my life at this point. Well, I'm finally at the moment in my life when all of the forces to get me to give this up seem to be converging.
First, emotionally I've come to terms with living without hair. I doubt that I could have felt this way a few years ago but now with multiple children and approaching the age of 50, I feel confident that I'll be happier without the hair.
Second, the woman who does my hair has begun to sense that I'd be happier without the hair and she has even begun to talk to me about it. She's suggested that I grow a beard and start wearing glasses and then go for it.
Third, my wife is going through a very difficult time with her health. Sadly, she was diagnosed two months ago with breast cancer that required three surgeries and she's now finishing her second round of chemotherapy. Fortunately, her prognosis is great but unfortunately she needs to undergo some brutal chemotherapy for the next few months.
Because of the chemotherapy, she has lost all of her hair and she's wearing a wig most of the time mainly to make our young children feel more comfortable. However, the topic has come up of my shaving my head to support her and it strikes me that this would be a good time to “pull the plug” and shave my head now as I wouldn't have to explain as much to people.
I figure that if I shave now, I can say that I did it to support my wife and little will be made of it. Most people would simply accept that I started shaving my head to support her and not ask a lot of potentially embarrassing questions about how my hair used to look. I thought about shaving my head last year but decided not to do it then because I didn't want to deal with all the questions about my old hair. Now it seems like this might be an ideal time to take the plunge without raising a lot of eyebrows.
So now I’m at the stage of planning my escape – my escape from my “system”. I’m hoping that others can lend me some wisdom on how best to do this.
When would be the best time to do it?
Should I grow a beard? Should I wear glasses?
Do I completely shave everything or leave some stubble?
Do I announce that I’m planning to do this or do I just do it and surprise people?
One concern I have is that I work in a relatively high profile position and I have some concern about rocking the boat too much. A piece of me says that shaving my head will make me look older and could affect my position in the company. I know this is probably not a valid concern but it is still something I think about. How do I limit the “shock” value of doing this?
Thank you so much for any advice you can offer.
Brian
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You don't describe yourself but being fit and toned goes well with the sly bald look and gives an impression of youth and vigor. A recent study linked on this site somewhere noted guys with shaved heads were seen as more in command than guys with longer hair. It is also likely some may have guessed you wear a system or program or unit as they are called anyway. My advice is never ask or disclose in advance of your haircut plans, really it is just giving up your power to others. Do it and explain about your wife and never look back. I mean a total shave, not a buzz which would only reveal you have less hair growing and it must have been a system before. If you need to get in shape or lose weight then do that for a couple months and then reveal the new you later. Other guys here have had the same concerns and went for it.
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Sorry about your wife and hope she continues to recover well.
There are a number of men on SBG who have ditched a rug - hopefully some of them will send their thoughts perhaps in personal messages. frankly I don't think hairpieces fool anyone and although biased I think a shaved head or short hair is much preferable. I'm in Oz and many top execs have shaved heads and no one turns a hair (so to speak). I like the beard bald combo but everyons is different. There are numberous combinations on the board and most look great.
Personally I would not tell anyone beforehand what you plan to do but with your wife's situation everyone will assume you shaved to support her. I am sure she will feel that support.
All the best with your decision but anything to get rid of a hairpiece is a great move.
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Welcome, Brian!
Believe it or not, we have many members who are/were clients of the "system". I think that a head shave in support of your wife is a great idea. As far as the professional side, if you do your job well, it's going to probably be a non-issue for most, save for a couple of people who may have the need to comment just to be seen and/or heard; but you seem like a guy strong enough to keep it short and sweet with those people (telling them about doing it in support of your wife should be a perfect explanation). As far as the glasses and/or facial hair, there is nothing wrong with experimenting to see what looks best for you with your new haircut; like a shaved head, glasses and beards don't have to be permanent. Getting fit is a good idea for anyone regardless of how much hair they wish to keep. Good luck to you and keep us posted, and finally, your wife is in my prayers and I wish her continued good health.
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First, I'm sorry to hear about your wife's illness. Second, I think shaving your head as a sign of support for her is a great idea. My advice is to just do it and don't worry about what other people think / say. If people ask why you made the change, simply answer that it's in support of your wife. No one will question that. After a short time, the questions will stop.
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Welcome. You'll find lots of support no matter what you decide.
Glasses or beard , optional accessories for a bald head.
Bald head, far better than a system. Looks sharp. Feels great. Easy care.
And you have the perfect 'excuse' to change. To support your wife. Then You just like it so you keep it.
I might tell a close friend in advance . I did. Shock value, is short lived. Like when i got my eating. Only one guy knew. Give it a week and the shock is over and people get used to it. You've god a good reason that is easy to explain. Go for it.
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Welcome Brian, you've come to the right place for positive encouragement with your hair loss and how to go about ditching the "system."
I will echo what all the guys have said, and add that you should not feel any need to answer to anyone but yourself.
There are plenty of ways to go about it, but if you want to show support to your wife, then shaving it off smooth would be best. It's really between you and her, and no one else should have a thing to say, especially your co-workers.
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Hey there and welcome.
Firstly, I have to say that I disagree with the opinion held by a number of guys on here that if you wear a hair piece/system/rug/dead rat etc etc that it looks horrendous and you are kidding yourself and everyone knows and think you look crap.. simply not the case with a lot of today's hair replacement, technology has advanced massively on how they are made, and that route works for lots of guys (and gals!)
Secondly, as someone who went through a similar story, albeit without having a poorly loved one, when I decided that I'd had enough of the monthly trips, upkeep etc, I planned 6months in advance what I was going to do. I started by planting a seed in my colleagues mind that I was considering an image change. I booked two weeks from work and did the deed. My stylist started clippering at a certain length and carried on until I felt happy (actually, kind of emotional to say goodbye!)
I took the rest of my holiday tme to get used to the new look and use some fake tan spray to even up the colour on my forehead and face. It WAS horrendously nervewracking going back to work, but I slapped on a confident smile and braved it out. Some people said nothing, didnt notice (I was asked if I'd lost weight!" others said "Suits you!" only one said it made me look older!
Reading your post, it seems that all the planets have aligned to tell you to make that move. Take it as slow or as fast as you feel comfortable with. You are more than welcome to PM me if you want to know anything else.
Good luck!
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I've told this story here before but I worked with a guy who did weekend shifts and had a full head of hair, he got a permanent full time job and came in with hsi head shaved. Until that time it had never dawned on me he wore a wig but from his shadow it was obvious the full mane wasn't his.
There was a bit of whispering, that's human nature but no one cared and I think by mid morning no one was giving it a thought.
Do what you feel comfortable with. Not sure why wearing glasses has been suggested - do you need glasses then, or wear contacts. I personally wouldn't go for too big a change. Maybe grow a beard first, see if you like that, then release yourself into baldness. Do what makes you comfortable, listen to what you want and you'll be confident
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Welcome...do it...you'll feel so much better...and any anxiety will vanish...and very quickly people will be used to it...its not a big deal to others...I got virtually no reaction...apart from a couple of "wow you look different" no negatives really...I hope your wife doesn't suffer too bad with the chemo... It is tough... But I'm sure you'll be her rock...keep us posted
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Hi everyone,
Thanks for all the support and advice. Now it's up to me to support my wife and gather the courage to take the plunge. It's actually a lot scarier than I ever thought it would be. Not sure I can do it but I'm giving this a lot of thought. i'm discussing it with my wife who's supportive of whatever I decide to do. And that's for the well wishes for my wife - it's going to be a long road but she's doing great so far with this nasty chemo. We have excellent doctors and supportive friends and family.
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Quite honestly, I look younger with no hair because mine is silver, grey and white. My beard is as well, but for some reason, people don't comment on that as much.
The only regrets I've ever had are for the times I've let mine grow back.
I prefer to wet-shave mine. I like the process of shaving. It helps me to focus first thing in the morning. Because if you try to shave automatically, without thinking about it, you're bound to at least get a nasty razor burn. I also like the way it feels after.
You know you want to shave your head otherwise you wouldn't be here. Do it. Try it for 30 days. If you don't like it, you can go back to what you were doing before.
I'll keep your wife and family in my heart and prayers. Seriously, when you put it into perspective, shaving your head is the least difficult thing you're facing right now.
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Taking the "plunge" IS a scary thought. It's all about projecting your fears and worries on someone else and anticipating their reactions. I think, once you take the plunge, you won't be disappointed. Many (myself included) wonder 'why didn't I do this earlier??' (I had shaved before but I let it grow back, then started going shorter and shorter until...)
I agree with the other guys in sending you full support and thoughts for your wife and hopes that everything turns out fine. I think shaving to show solidarity is a great idea. Many of the folks at St. Baldrick's and other events featuring shaving say 'I am doing this to support my friend/sibling/parent...' etc. I think you'll be glad you did Brian. Give it 30 days and I highly suspect you will be a "client for life" -- with no appointments necessary! :)
Good luck, keep us informed on your progress (and also your wife's so we know she's doing well) and above all, don't worry too much about others and their reactions.
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Thanks everyone for all the kind words. My wife is hanging in there with round three of chemo next week. As far as me, I'm still thinking about when/if to take the plunge. My wife mentioned the idea of me shaving my head to our kids (all under the age of 11) and they didn't like the idea. I think the thought of having both parents bald was a bit jarring to them. Despite that, I'm still stronglly considering it. If I do it, the woman who helps me with my "systems" wants me to:
1. Grow a goatie
2. Wear fancy glasses
3. Tell people that I'm about to do this for my wife to reduce some of the "shock" when people see me with my new look
This is really much more difficult than I thought it would be ... as I make this tough decision.
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Hi Brian,
I saw your post, and being in a similar situation, thought I would weigh in with some support.
I know the conflict between embracing where you're at and letting it go. First off, don't let your kids' reactions weigh on you too much - like anybody, but especially kids, they're afraid of the unfamiliar, and the concept of you being bald is just very unfamiliar to them. My dad wasn't at all balding when I was a kid, which I'm sure made it all the more foreign to me - but, if he was, I'm sure I'd adapt pretty fast. Kids are wired that way!
I understand why your stylist is suggesting to grow facial hair, get glasses, etc - that's the same advice that was given to me when I went FOR the system, in order to keep people from focusing on the hair. It makes sense, but I also wonder whether that might be, in a sense, hiding. You have ZERO to be embarrassed about - you've got a great family, and you say you're successful with work. You lost your hair very young during a time when it was certainly not looked upon as stylish. And, my guess is that you've generally looked pretty good since. In many ways, it HAS served you well.
So, if you are ready to let go of it, and you do go through with it, I'd suggest being ready to face whatever shock you experience head on - which, as recounted by MANY guys here, has worn off very quickly. Don't be afraid to address the subject if it comes up, and don't feel the NEED to adopt new styles just to try to divert people's attention - do it if it's something that makes you feel more comfortable and confident. Think about it - who wants to lose their hair, especially in their teens or early 20s? Not many, and few people will blame you for having had a tougher time with it or doing something proactive about it. There are some great videos on YouTube with guys like Patrick Stewart and Andrew Agassi talking about losing their hair. I grew up thinking these guys OWNED going bald, only to find out much later how much it weighed on them when young. Do I think less of them for admitting that? No - I really respect them for being so open - but confident - about it.
I TOTALLY get that it's a difficult decision, and probably much more difficult than getting the system was (which, if anything like me, was totally impulsive). But, if you can internalize that, either way, you've done nothing wrong, and hold your head up high, I think you'll feel a lot better with whatever direction you go.
Best of luck to you, and especially to your wife.
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Hi Everyone,
Haven't posted in a while as my wife has been struggling through chemo for her breast cancer and it's been a long road. We're just about done with the chemo now and her hair is starting to grow back in. I'm still thinking about whether to take off the "system" and shave off what's left as this is a good time as I could tell people that I shave it off to support my wife and make it a little less awkward. My hair stylist is being very supportive and gave me some interesting ideas that could make the transition easier. One idea was a spray of some sort that would "simulate" hairs growing and look like I have a buzz cut rather than being completely bald. Are there sprays like this? I don't have much real hair left so I find it hard to believe I could spray something on my head and have it look like a real buzz cut. Just wondering what others think ...
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I think anything fake (sprays, systems, etc.) will be detectable.
Seize the opportunity and simply go Sly all the way.
I think you will be incredibly surprised how much better you feel once you are being honest about your hair, and no longer worry about all the effort required to maintain the facade.
If you haven't, read the 30 Day Rule topics (there are lots of them) for some great personal stories which provide a lot of encouragement and support. And post back here as well for anything you need.
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I've looked into the scalp tattoo option to try to simulate hair after I shave and I have concerns about it. It is somewhat permanent and doesn't look as good on pale skin folks like me. And not sure it will look natural close up. I'm moving back to the idea of just shaving it. But considering a transplant to at least give me the appearance of having some hair. Have others done a transplant before starting to shave? Is that crazy? I guess I'd prefer it to look like I still have some reasonable amount of hair after I start shaving.
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Went to have my "system" done today and thought about just shaving it off. My hair girl was even agreeable ... but couldn't do it. We did do a temporary tape on the system so I can take it on and off easier. She thought that might help me ease into it. I looked in the mirror at the salon and pictured myself with no hair and just couldn't do it. I looked so different. So much older. Sorry guys.
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Today was a step for me. The lady who I see for my systems convinced me that I should take off the system every few days and that might help get me used to the idea of not wearing it. So tonight for the first time, I took off the system and walked around the house with a hat on ... didn't want to shock our little kids who have no idea that I'm bald. I'm glad I took it off for several reasons. First, it did feel more normal than I thought it would. I took a shower and stood in front of the mirror and pictured shaving what I have left off and it didn't feel foreign. Second, I noticed that my scalp was really red where the tape was and it looks like some sort of allergic reaction to the tape. I applied some cortisone cream that I had in the house and plan to keep the system off for a day or two this weekend. My wife got a good look as well and she's wanting me to "pull the plug" and shave the rest off. She finally has a little hair now that we're a few months out of her chemotherapy and she wants me to tell everyone that I simply shaved my head to support her. Food for thought .. as I'm getting closer. Step by step.
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You have your wife's support (pleased her hair is growing back) to shave so why not just take the plunge. It seems clear that is what you now want to do and once the itch is there then you won't rest until it is done. Then you will say to all of us 'why didn't I do this sooner'.
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Good for you, Brian. Taking those small steps seems like the right way to do it for you. You have a lot of support from the lady at the system place to your wife, to the guys here. That's great.
The first time I buzzed my head my son ran away from me!
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Go for it. Shave it off and do it in support of your wife. Remember, it will grow back rapidly! Now is the best time to do it.
Transplants and tattoo are just not right as far as i am concerned.
You have the support of everyone on hear. I hope your wife is well and continues to get better.
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Speaking about the transplants and tattoos Goatee mentioned, you don't want to do something to your scalp that will be completely irreversible. I've been shaved for a solid week now and feel the best I've ever felt about my appearance. Transplants and tattoos were never an option for me even if I could have afforded those procedures.
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Brian, to be sort of blunt--You are who you are, with or without hair. Those that are your friends and loved-ones accept you for what you are on in inside. Evidentually, and I understand, this is more of a personal matter. Good luck on whatever you decide. Also, welcome to the site.
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Thanks guys. I'm getting closer. Seeing how red my scalp was under the system was really an eye opener. Also seeing how my wife is behind me helps a lot.
I've grown out my beard and thinking about keeping it. I've never had a beard so constructing a good looking beard will take some effort. Also have some new glasses. Wondering if that would be good to try.
Also reading online about how to shave my remaining hair and the rest of my scalp fuzz. Not sure if I can do it myself or if I need to go to my hair place for her to do it.
Also it was a bit shocking to see how pale my scalp was under the system. Guess it is good sunscreen huh? If I do shave my scalp it might look odd how tan my face is and how pale my scalp is but I assume that will fix itself over time.
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On May 20, 2004, my first wife gave me a buzz cut. Since then, I either have had a buzz cut or a shaved head.
Since then, I would go to the barber shop every month or two to have my head shaved. Now, I use a good razor, such as a Schick Fusion Proglide razor, and shave my head down to the skin every few days.
Now, every morning after I take a shower, my head dries on the spot without the need to use a blow drier to dry my hair. This means less time is needed to prepare for the day. In my house, there is no electrical outlet in the bathroom and only one in my bedroom, which is already taken up by a lamp and a clock radio. Both items need to be plugged into this outlet all the time.
To protect my shaved head, except on formal occasions, I always wear a baseball cap. My wife, Angie, likes me with a shaved head. Finally, I feel that life is much easier for me with a shaved head, therefore, I am bald by choice.
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Simple logic with a comfortable result.
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Getting closer to pulling the trigger. Been taking off the system and going a few hours without it just to see how it feels. My wife continues to support me going sly. She actually wants me to do it. Her hair has been slow to grow back since her breast cancer chemo (which is just about over) so my shaving would probably cheer her up a bit. I've grown out my beard and started wearing some nifty glasses. The beard looks pretty good ... got some complements on it. It's pretty itchy but I'm getting used to it. Looking for a beard trimmer this weekend and also looking at various shavers to see what might work for the beard and for the scalp. I haven't pulled the trigger on the shave quite yet but I'm inching closer. Just worried how it will go over at work (where I have a lot of VIP-type clients) and whether I'll like the look. Very scary ...
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Hi Brian: First of all, prayers to your wife in her battle with breast cancer. I noticed that this original post was back in August 2013. I hope that you can pull the trigger soon. You seem to have a great wife in that she supports your decision. Please don't get offended but JUST DO IT!!!! The sooner the better and once you "do the deed", "take the plunge", or in simpler terms "shave your dome", you will feel a very heavy burden off your shoulder and you will be saying to yourself: "Why did I do this sooner".
Brian, do it soon and don't postpone it. You got a great wife that supports you. Any time one thinks about shaving their dome. Your thoughts will never ever be satisfied until the deed is done. O:O Kindly keep us posted to your road to slyness. 8)
WARHAWK O0
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You said your wife is supportive and wants you to shave it. You said it may cheer her up if you do. Don't put it off any longer. Show her the support she is showing you. Countless men and women have done this in support of a friend or loved one.
I don't see how a shaved head cannot look professional. I see it all the time in every profession.
Go for it. You won't regret it.
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A shaved head with the right clothes can look very professional and smart.
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The 'very scary' ends within the first day of shaving your head! That's it.
Once you shave your head, you can enjoy rubbing your smooth scalp. If feels very refreshing! I internally fretted for a number of weeks before shaving my head. Once done .... I sat back and enjoyed it, and kept shaving.
The easiest way to get over the 'scary' part is to just do it.
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Reading this thread is like reading the synopsis of a dozen or so other stories posted here. You really are going through a lot, sir, and I am glad for you wife's sake that she has completed the chemo. I hope her prognosis is positive.
All I can add to what the other gentlemen have stated before is that if you really want to shave, the only way to get past the anxiety is just to do it. Once you start the process, all that fear and worry you are feeling melts away. Mine stopped the moment I took the first swipe with the trimmer and knew there was no going back.
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Brian, it seems you are worried about others' reactions than your own....I'm willing to bet that when you follow through, you may get a few questions and/or comments, but after a couple of days, it won't matter....in fact, that beard you are growing is probably going to take some attention away from your head. I have a suggestion Do you have any bald/balding friends that could do it for you? Continued good health and good luck to you both.
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You are nearly there. It seems like you really want to do this and are excited about the prospect of what shaving will do for you. It sounds like it's time to do it. Take a deep breath, stop thinking about it and do it.
I doubt anyone at work will rethink their opinion of you. You will still look professional with a bald head - better, even, I bet.
Do it and give yourself a chance to get used to it. This could be transformative for you.
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Brian... do not worry about work and your VIP clients. IMHO.... all clients are VIPs. A super, slick shaved dome looks very professional!!!! I wear mine with pride when I'm at work and on my off days. O:O Matter of fact, 99.9% of the SBG members who shave their dome KNOW that a super, slick chrome dome shows extreme professionalism.
Again... do not procrastinate and embrace your chrome dome. Do not hide it! Show it with pride by shaving your dome. O:O Keep us posted to your road to slyness. 8)
WARHAWK O0
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As someone who has been permanently sly for 15 days now, there is no way I would go back to having what little hair I had left. Plus, I have received a plethora of positive comments from everyone I know. Like slymyke said, I can't see how a completely shaved clean head isn't professional. That just blows my mind.
Like Sir Harry said, comments will stop after a couple of days. He is very much correct when he said that. Many people who see me on a regular basis commented when they first saw me sly and now it's old news. You'll find many people will be indifferent anyway. Just remember that the questions and comments from others last for just a very short time. If I had it to do over again, I would have done the exact same thing.
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Just to reinforce what others have said: 1) you can look very professional with a shaved head - people in all different professions sport shaved heads these days. 2) Yes, people will comment at first, but they quickly move on with their busy lives - your haircut isn't all that important to them after the initial time they see you. We all fall into the trap of thinking we are the center of attention in everyone else's lives, but in reality, we aren't.
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I am a Federal Government Lawyer - a pretty professional environment IMHO. I recently became bald by choice. Both my supervisors and my clients have commented on how good it looks!
I don't see how you can go wrong with a clean shaven head. It is the Uber Professional look!
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Thanks to everyone for all the support. Took off the system last night to clean it my wife and I took a good look at how things would look. Probably need to see a dermatologist to get a couple of spots taken off but overall looked ok. The advice to just do it is the right one I'm sure. I'm getting there ...
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Hi Brian, I have been silent so far, but I can tell you, you won't stop thinking about it until you take that last step, and do it. Sounds like you have a lot of support. Nobody is going to freak out, and you will feel relief right away. If you don't like it, you will be surprised how fast it grows back.
Once I shaved off my full head of hair, I couldn't wait to show my new baldness off to everyone. Do it if and when YOU are ready, but odds are you will like it. No other feeling like it.
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Man, all of this cheerleadling discussion makes me what to go SLY again!
Wait a minute. I can't do that. I"m already sly!
Shucks.
Just me a guy that has not seen me for several years. His first comment was about my sly head. Positive.
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sorry im just now reading this Brian.... I had a Hair system for 10 years. from age 25 to 35...I remember many days like what you are describing minus a wife with cancer.. I see that this post is little old and hope your wife is getting better. But, back to the hair system. I beat myself for years trying to get the nerve to take it off. My dad and I owe a business with 200 customers. So, what would they say? what would my friends say or people in general? many nights of staring at myself in the mirror thinking what to do. I hated myself for ever wearing the thing but I just couldn't take it off.. every 3 weeks I would go in and have them do there thing to the hair system. 200.00 dollars a month.. I felt so fake... so, after a couple years of back and forth I finally told a couple buddies now is the time to take this thing off. So,I Made the date to do it officially with them. They came over and we had a few drinks. Oh My Gosh ?!??!?!?!? was it one of the hardest things to do!!!! That night I shaved it down... the next day felt so good taking a shower without that rug on which you said you have done....Next, the hard part, facing people........ The best thing for me was to look people in the eye and say .. " I'm bald "....THATS ALL IT TOOK..... yes, I had few people give me a little heck but 99% has been positive.. Now, I worry about more important things...Being bald or shaved now is so so minor.. I say do it sooner rather than later.
But, I have a friend that still wears a toupee and he says he is not ready to take it off....I say to him every time " Its your life, you do what makes you feel good "..... I can tell it is bothering him or he wouldn't bring it up but I'm positive to him.... So, Brian, when you are ready, do it.. I felt exactly like you and it took a couple years..
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Great story. Nothing like a bald head! Love it
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That is a great story, Curly. Good for you. I'm glad you found your freedom!
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sorry im just now reading this Brian.... I had a Hair system for 10 years. from age 25 to 35...I remember many days like what you are describing minus a wife with cancer.. I see that this post is little old and hope your wife is getting better. But, back to the hair system. I beat myself for years trying to get the nerve to take it off. My dad and I owe a business with 200 customers. So, what would they say? what would my friends say or people in general? many nights of staring at myself in the mirror thinking what to do. I hated myself for ever wearing the thing but I just couldn't take it off.. every 3 weeks I would go in and have them do there thing to the hair system. 200.00 dollars a month.. I felt so fake... so, after a couple years of back and forth I finally told a couple buddies now is the time to take this thing off. So,I Made the date to do it officially with them. They came over and we had a few drinks. Oh My Gosh ?!??!?!?!? was it one of the hardest things to do!!!! That night I shaved it down... the next day felt so good taking a shower without that rug on which you said you have done....Next, the hard part, facing people........ The best thing for me was to look people in the eye and say .. " I'm bald "....THATS ALL IT TOOK..... yes, I had few people give me a little heck but 99% has been positive.. Now, I worry about more important things...Being bald or shaved now is so so minor.. I say do it sooner rather than later.
But, I have a friend that still wears a toupee and he says he is not ready to take it off....I say to him every time " Its your life, you do what makes you feel good "..... I can tell it is bothering him or he wouldn't bring it up but I'm positive to him.... So, Brian, when you are ready, do it.. I felt exactly like you and it took a couple years..
@Curly: Congrats and glad that you have embraced it rather than hide it. Wear your chrome dome with pride. I know I do. 8)
@Brian: So... did you ever shave your head? Or are you still thinking about it? Kindly keep us posted to your road to slyness.
WARHAWK O0
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Guys, his story was always too perfect, wife with breast cancer he needed to support, a hair system he couldn't take off, and on and on yet never a picture...he is gone because he was a troll from the start. Beware of those weaving too perfect stories for their pleasure and taking advantage of all the sincerity here. I warned about him earlier, it was all too scripted.
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Guys, his story was always too perfect, wife with breast cancer he needed to support, a hair system he couldn't take off, and on and on yet never a picture...he is gone because he was a troll from the start. Beware of those weaving too perfect stories for their pleasure and taking advantage of all the sincerity here. I warned about him earlier, it was all too scripted.
Not sure if what you have posted is correct.
Some people dont want to post any pics. Who knows what stresses he has in life? Who knows whats going on at this very moment in his life? I wouldnt say he is a troll at this stage of the thread. Its too easy to condemn someone because they dont fit in with what everyone thinks is the norm. I may be wrong on the guy but i am open to seeing how things pan out first.
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Guys, his story was always too perfect, wife with breast cancer he needed to support, a hair system he couldn't take off, and on and on yet never a picture...he is gone because he was a troll from the start. Beware of those weaving too perfect stories for their pleasure and taking advantage of all the sincerity here. I warned about him earlier, it was all too scripted.
Not sure if what you have posted is correct.
Some people dont want to post any pics. Who knows what stresses he has in life? Who knows whats going on at this very moment in his life? I wouldnt say he is a troll at this stage of the thread. Its too easy to condemn someone because they dont fit in with what everyone thinks is the norm. I may be wrong on the guy but i am open to seeing how things pan out first.
I wouldn't call the guy a troll (yet)....However, I think he does bear watching as he keeps inquiring about hair tattooing and hair topping.....If Brian is not ready to shave (if ever) that's all fine and good, but if every other post from him is about gimmicks to cover balding, well, perhaps his questions could be better answered on a forum like hairlosshelp.com. just my 0.02
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I just think his wife's hair started growing back and he missed the golden opportunity to shave for support. She was in support of him shaving it, but he couldn't do it. It would seem that she has a clear idea of what is Not important in life (Hair)... But that didn't motivate him enough to have the guts to do something he was wanting to do anyway. Sad... He will be stuck with a hairpiece.
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I say, lets give him a chance. He may be genuinely going through a hard time at the moment.
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Well, I can certainly see how willing he will be to post again after the turn this thread took.
I can attest that I wondered and worried about shaving for about two or three months before I finally decided to do it - and I had the MPB horseshoe, so there was no one who didn't know already that I was going bald. I therefore can imagine the heightened anxiety a guy could have when he has gone to such efforts to mask his hairloss and will have to expose that "secret" with no going back if he is to go smooth. One of the elements I like about SBG is that guys can express their anxiety over losing their hair and hear the experiences others have had.
And while I am not assuming anything about this gentleman, if a troll poster plays us, so what? I know there are other boards who think we are too nice and have too positive an outlook on life and being bald. I take that as a great compliment. If one of those guys wants to confirm that outlook by testing how we react to his story, then I say give him that confirmation full force.
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^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Agree O0
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Cave Dweller, you have some good points in your post.....and I didn't mean for my last post in this thread (and the thread about the Derma Match for that matter) to come across as an attack on Brian (but my apologies to Brian if it came across as such). I'm not saying that the guy has to shave, and while a picture or lack of one should not determine how serious a member is, it's one thing to say "I'm tired of the hair system, but I don't want to shave bald for__________". But then, when you are going to asking about hair tattooing which is far worse, and spray on hair which most people can detect anyway, for all that you might as well keep the system charade going, IMO. I think the SBG membership has been generally understanding and compassionate towards Brian, however, we can't fall into pity party traps. I think we need to be more concerned about continued good health for his wife.
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Warhawk.....lol...I do wear it with pride. I guess I don't even think about it anymore.. Just natural feeling... I had a chance to get hair transplant and I was a week away and in called them up and said no thanks I change my mind....so glad I didn't do that. I don't have to take drugs or 2 transplants.. " they say most people need 2 procedures"...
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I would hate to wear a 'rug' of any kind! Bald is so much better. Everyone is different though but given time i am sure most would get used to having a completely bald head