Sly Bald Guys Forum
New Member Section => Introductions => Topic started by: wayman on June 23, 2013, 08:54:40 AM
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I was wondering if anyone can give me a little advice. I have been thinning for about 7 years, but I have been using a concealer to hide my thin spots. Finally I decided to try a hairpiece called the "Virtual Reality" system. I had it placed on my head for a total of 6 days. During the 6 days it was very hot and uncomfortable. Not to mention that it was the wrong color and very very thick and unnatural looking. I complained to my wife for 6 days. I couldn't eat, sleep or concentrate at work. About 12 of my coworkers commented about it. They couldn't really figure out what I did, but they all seemed to think that it looked really weird. One coworker asked if I had hair plugs. After stressing out for 6 days I decided that the stress was just not good for my health. My wife, two kids and I went to the hair salon and I had my head shaved. Now I feel like I look even worse. Not including that I have to go back to work and face all of my coworkers with no hair. So I went from some hair, to a ton of hair and then absolutely no hair within a 6 day period. I shaved it close to the skin ,but not razor blade close. Everyone thought I had really thick hair, but now that I shaved it you can see my receding hair line and a bald circle at the back of my head. I'm going to be 39 soon and want to stay looking my best. Right now I feel like I have anxiety. My hands keep shaking and I feel like I have to vomit. Last night I only slept for about 3 hours. I really don't know what to do from here. I was thinking about calling off of work tomorrow.
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Please calm down. Hair does not determine who you are, just how you look. You are still the man you were days ago. Stand tall and be proud you took the step to cut it all off. Keep it short for a few days to let everyone get used to it then take a razor to it and become sly. It will be ok.
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Welcome to SBG ! You will find all sorts of good advice and friend guys and gals.
What happened to Honesty Is The Best Policy?
Go to work on Monday with a razor shaved smooth head and when the "WHAT HAPPENED TO YOUR HAIR" questions arise just say you tried fake hair and freaked out so "au natural" is only way to go. Those jerks who keep nagging about that explanation, just rub your bald head and say "all comments just slide right off". Good luck and put bald pride on your head and not bald thoughts inside your head !
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My goodness,you act as if you have a terminal illness. It's only hair it will grow back.Wear a hat if you must,so you get a few remarks.It's not the end of the world.
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What happened to Honesty Is The Best Policy?
+1, I most emphatically second that. Secondly:
!*u%e
Ya know, in the past it has been my habit to either chime in with the gang and rub peoples' backs when they're feeling insecure about their hairline or read the original post go vomit and move on without saying anything. But this time I think there is more at stake than some 39 year old man who's starting to lose his hair. Dude, you have 2 kids and a wife and they need a man in their lives, especially your kids. You have got to think about what kind of example you're setting for them. If you think it's good for them to see daddy get bulimic over a bald spot what can they expect from you if some really nasty defecation gets tossed into the air conditioning. I'm talking something like car wrecks or cancer or death and all that $h!t exists in great quantity in our everyday world. Every time you walk out your front door is a crap shoot. You might come home and you might not, same for anyone else that you love. So shave your head or wear a rug, whatever, just do it and get it over with and start walking upright.
And no, I'm not sorry. Buck up.
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Welcome to the forum! I think after Buddha's post nothing more needs to be said....Life is too short to let hair loss dominate it.
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Oh, and welcome to the forum. Don't let my bluntness turn you away. I really do mean well.
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Oh, and welcome to the forum. Don't let my bluntness turn you away. I really do mean well.
This forum has many warm-hearted members with years of experience and advice dealing with hair / less issues.
I remember one day my older Bro (who still has a full head of hair today) whining, and I do mean like a little girlie who lost her dolly, that the barber cut his hair too short. It was just a regular ivy league cut ... not even brutally buzzed ... and I got so fed up and confronted him with "What is your fracking problem? You've got hair on top and I don't (he was 30 and I was 25 and slick bald on top). Life is w-a-a-a-y-y-y too precious to waste worrying about a haircut. Take what is given and appreciate the scenery while going down the detour". Dang ... I should of been a newspaper Hairloss Columnist .... haha
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Thanks everyone for the advice and input. Especially Buddha. It helps that someone is completely blunt. I am almost get up to 40 and should make my loved ones my primary concern. I guess I am so freaked out because I never thought in a million years that I would be bald. To tell you the truth I like not having to worry about concealer, glue, hairlines, rain, my head sweating under a rug etc. I'm having a little bit of an issue worrying about what others think. I know that I should not give a hoot, but deep down I do. Can some one tell me about how long it typically takes to get used to things and actually embrace that this will be the new me for the rest of my days? Thanks again everyone!
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It is a mental aspect of accepting the baldness. The sooner you accept the look, the sooner you can move on with total confidence.
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Welcome to SBG.
Think of it as freedom from the tyranny of hair (and stuff like "hair systems" that fool no one).
How most people will react to you is cued off how you react to yourself. So hold your head up high, and the answer to the question "why" is simply "because I wanted to". No other justification is needed. Did they ask your opinion about their hair choices?
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Welcome to SBG. You've already received some excellent advice.
Although you still seem concerned about how you will be received in the workplace etc I think you have already deep down made the deicison so why not just do it. No rugs (always obvious), glues etc just the real you.
Post a pic when done and hold you head up high as you will find you feel so much more confident,
As for how long it takes to get used to the new you I've been shaved for 9 years and I still am sometimes surprised when I pass a window or miss to think this is me.
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Thanks again everyone! I have decided that I am going to take tomorrow off of work to take my kids to the water park. That is something that I was afraid to do in the past. Not including that if I get a little sun on my really white head I think that it might look a little better. You guys are all right! Having a good life with my children and wife should far out way hair on my head. I have attached a picture of my new look. You guys are very inspirational. I am not 100% cured, but I know that with a little time I will learn to embrace my appearance for what it is. Also, I have to admit that when I got ready for the day today I was able to shave off about 20 minutes of my usual time to get ready. :)
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Thanks again everyone! I have decided that I am going to take tomorrow off of work to take my kids to the water park. That is something that I was afraid to do in the past. Not including that if I get a little sun on my really white head I think that it might look a little better. You guys are all right! Having a good life with my children and wife should far out way hair on my head. I have attached a picture of my new look. You guys are very inspirational. I am not 100% cured, but I know that with a little time I will learn to embrace my appearance for what it is. Also, I have to admit that when I got ready for the day today I was able to shave off about 20 minutes of my usual time to get ready. :)
I think it looks great. And I think you'll find when you go back to work that a lot of people won't Eben comment -- and those that do will be overwhelmingly positive.
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I also think it looks great. Have a good time with your children at the water park.
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That's the spirit! Have a good time with the kids! BTW, you have a nice headshape that fits sly perfectly! Trust me, after a few days, when everyone's used to it, the shaved head will be a non-issue.
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wayman, looks very natural and good for your head shape. Roll with it.
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You look good, handsome and have a contemporary haircut now. Never saw you before but this looks like at least a third of the guys I see walking around Chicago every day. For me I was so insecure about balding that I did a ton of transplants to my eternal regret. It never really looks good or thick. Now years later I have had the scars effectively concealed and am happily sporting a contemporary no guard buzz or blade shave with confidence. You already look like a confident guy in your photo so be that guy. You will be happier than you could have ever imagined with your freedom from the system and your confidence. Congratulations.
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Dude! You look great. You can hold that shaved head up high.
Remember, one big advantage of no hair is no hair worries. Time to concentrate on the important areas of your life now that that's out of the way.
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I am chiming in late here, Wayman, but congratulations on taking control.
If people ask (and they will) why you shaved it off, just smile and say it was because you wanted to or because you wanted to try it out. Don't follow that with a question as to whether the person thinks you looked better with hair. That only indicates that you are insecure about it. If you give off confidence, you may get some good-natured ribbing from friends, but people will accept it quickly and not think any more about it. I am willing to bet that you will be getting compliments.
You have one of those heads that rocks the Sly look. Welcome!
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CONGRATS !
You have a whole new fan club here !
You look totally great !
What an inspiration !
You and your family enjoy this summer and the rest of your new life !
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Thanks again everyone for the positive feedback! Right now I have it shaved with Balding Clippers with no guard. You can still see the areas that I am totally bald. I really didn't want to use a razor because I do get razor bumps on my face and I'm assuming the same will happen to my head. I'm guessing as I let my head breathe that the pale white skin will get a little color. It's really cool to get feedback from other men that are in the same situation. I only have one bald friend, but because he is a soldier in the military he is out of the country and I cannot talk with him. Well I'm off to the water park in an hour. Again, I really appreciate everybody's time. It's really cool that you guys take your personal time to help others like myself. Hopefully, at some point in the future I will be able to do the same. Have a great day everyone!
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Hopefully, at some point in the future I will be able to do the same.
You likely already have! Other guys in your same situation will read this post and say "Wow, it worked out great for him, why would it not work out for me?"
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Razor bumps on your face does not automatically mean the same on your head. Clippers will give you and everyone else a good idea what you would look like when Sly but it is not the same as being smooth. You look good. Be proud.
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Wayman, you look great. I agree with all the guys here that the moment you decide that it doesn't matter what others think, that is the moment of real "manning-up", so-to-speak, & real self-acceptance.
The next time you need to get a haircut, go to a real barber (not a hair salon) & ask him/her to shave your head. A barber-shop head-shave is a really great experience. The barber will also be able to give you great advice about controlling of razor bumps etc as will a lot of guys here, no doubts.
All the best buddy & welcome to this great forum.
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Welcome Wayman
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You look great fella. from your hairline, I think it would be more noticable if you had it longer so keep buzzing you rock the look and soon people will not take any notice. It will just be part of who you are.
You can carry it and you're a good looking fella to carry it (damn you!) :*))
I think a lot of it is coming up to the dreaded 4-0. It is a landmark and all of a sudden you don't want to be seen as older or middle aged and this damn baldness contributes to that, but after coming through that age a couple of years ago I can tell ya, nothing changes, You don't suddenly become an old man!
So keep shaving and enjoy!
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Good for you, bro. The new look is a definite winner. Read up on the 30 day rule, too. It's really a good idea to consider committing to a month of scraping the skull at the start so you can make an informed decision about sticking with it long term rather than an emotional one.
BTW, what brand of balding clippers and where did you get them? And did you have any problems using them without the guard?
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Let me join in and say that you dont have to worry about how you look bald because you are a good looking man. Your wear bald really well.
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You mind posting a pic? I don't believe there's any man in the world who looks worse sly than with a rug atop. The way it's killing your confidence and the constant hiding and unnecessary stress is probably detracting from your work, family time and life in general. You only have X number of years to enjoy your life. Shave it, get used to it, man up and move on!
Best of luck, a pic would be nice to see! And I'm 22, started balding at 19 so I know what I'm talking about.
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Hi Wayman
Firstly, you have come to the right place. From my own experience what you hear is what members truly believe to be the case. They helped me a lot regarding a situation not unlike yours.
You may of read that I wore a hair program for nine or so years due to alopecia. I buzzed down to a No1 and when the topic came up (as it did) I replied with 'losing too much hair….decided to shave it'. I would advise keeping your responses short and sweet because at the end of the day people are not interested in your hair. People are interested in themselves.
You sound a bit stressed and that too is something I can completely relate to. You are going to be 100% fine and in a relatively short period of time you will of gained a new sense of who you are: real, real to yourself and real to the people around you.
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I can now relate to what 'TIME TO SHINE' also wrote in response to your thread but prior to making the move to buzz I couldn't. He's right when he said live your life.
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Glad you decided you like it. Bald is in, its a choice vs. thinning. you've given yourself power by choosing the razor. When I just looked at your picture, it looked like its the way you should be. And thats how everyone who meets you from now on will feel too.
I like shaving every other day. I used to hate shaving my face... now its fun, but dont forget the sunscreen.
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It's very understandable why you have been so emotional and stressed to the point of almost vomiting as you have gone from doing the system, to shaving, all within six days. I cannot begin to imagine that. That's one extreme and one way of thinking to another, all in six days! Hell, what a heavy vomit inducing roller coaster!!! Let the carrots fly!
Now you have come out the other side. You have experienced a lot and you have been through a lot, all in a brief intense period of time
So here we are. You look great sly. I am not just saying that to be all positive and to try and make you feel better. Fact is, this is what I thought when I saw your picture.
"So onto fun stuff now", you can now let yourself flirtingly think "Hmmm what shavers to buy and try? What soap? What brushes?" "What aftershave?" "This is fun!"
The adventure and the new you begins and your family will be so happy to see that smile of yours again :)
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It will get better with time.. Believe me. I wore to Tupee for ten years.. Everyday I felt like puking, spent hour a day in bathroom combing and fixing it... Your life will be ALOT better!!! 4 years now for me and could not be better!!!! Hang in there.. There might be a few people that bother you but for the most part people really don't care, they have more important things to worry about than someone that shaves their head... Just speaking from experience ... Good luck...!!!
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its all been said....and great advice from the brothers....you took the hardest step....its all gravy from here on in!...hell im sounding like ya'll...lol....the truth is...no one but you gives a damn about your hair....if people notice a hairpiece then thats one thing....especially when its called virtual reality or whatever it was! that had me laughing! ...but when someone sees no hair....that just looks like what it is....shaved...your decision. ...you da man! now put on those sunglasses and rock that look dude!
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Embrace the baldness, my friend!! People react to change, that's what your workmates are doing right now and of course, what you are going through as well. It's the whole change thing that is causing you grief rather than the baldness per se. First thing you need to realise is this will all pass. In a week (or maybe a month depending on their tenacity) your work mates will forget all about your change of head styling and go on with their lives. And as for you own thoughts about it, you have to stop looking at the baldness as a negative thing. As a teen in the 80's living in a beach side town, I had the long surfy hair going on which was was all the thing at the time... as I entered my twenties my hair started to thin pretty early on and I cut it a whole lot shorter, keeping it pretty much around the 'number 2' length most of the time. At about 26 I realised it was pretty much a gone cause, so took the plunge and shaved it all off... the first few weeks were a bit of a shock mostly for my self, and too a much lesser degree those around me, but as time went on (a very short amount of time in all reality) the sly-look just became part of me. It doesn't define me, it doesn't determine who or what I am, it's just how I roll. Soon, most people I know had completely forgotten what I looked like with hair and most have an absolute giggle when ever I put up an old photo on FB from when I had locks. I've never regretted shaving... it's never been an issue. You mentioned that you're 39 and still wanting to look your best... I'm now 40 and even with the shaved head most people still think I am in my early 30s... believe me, shaving can have it's benefits!
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Good work, Wayman, you look sly! (That´s the first time I´ve ever used that word, I´m new here, and I assume it means "cool", "exceptional", etc.). I´ve never understood the whole hairpiece/toupee thing, even when I had a full head of hair. You´ve got to have respect. Now I can´t understand how all those guys with hair can live with it, when they see how "sly" we are!