Sly Bald Guys Forum
New Member Section => Introductions => Topic started by: pat on June 09, 2007, 07:48:06 PM
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Hiya,
Just joined up, I've been reading around the forums for a while now and thought I'd take the plunge and join in.
I'm 19 and from the UK. I started losing my hair, and my hairline began receding when i was about 16. It started going grey then too. Things have got harder and harder and harder really, I've read loads of positive stuff from you guys, and your stories, but I can't say I've got anything positive. Since it started to thin, I've watched all my self-confidence, which i had heaps of, melt away until now I'm scared of cameras, worry about doing sport because my hair looks thinner when i sweat, and shy away from talking about my age because no-one believes me without having to be convinced.
I've recently started a (apparently) pioneering laser therapy program, which goes on for as long as you need and runs in tandem with minoxidil treatment. It's a really long term process, but hopefully it'll help.
If i'm honest, I'm just posting to get things off my chest. I find life really hard at the moment, I can't look in the mirror without having a little breakdown. I'm going to University in september and I'm scared of the stares and comments. I really don't suit shaven headed, and I've got to a point where I find myself hiding away inside, all because I'm losing my hair.
I sort of just wanted to add my 2 pence (cents?) on the whole balding thing - i've not really heard of anyone my age losing their hair as severely as me, I wanted to highlight how hard it is - going bald mid twenties onwards is more expected i suppose - when you're 18/19 and going out with your friends, it's the worst feeling in the world knowing people are staring at you thinking you're too old to be here.
Anyway, sorry to go on! I just felt i could do with someway of getting all that off my chest, stop it eating away at me so much.
Thanks guys, looks like a great forum.
Pat
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Hi Pat and welcome. Glad you decided to get on board. Hang in there...while personally am bald by choice, there a quite a few brothers here who can share their stories of hair loss with you. But BBC or losing your hair you have definitely come to the right place for support.
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Hi, Pat, Glad you joined. Don't feel alone. There are others out there who have been in your shoes. I'm sure being young makes it even harder. But I'm sure everyone here will tell you the best way to face this problem is head on. The greatest part about being SLY is the fact that none of use has anything to hide anymore. The worst part of experiencing hair loss is trying to hide it any being afraid of others noticing or finding out about what you're doing to hide it.
If you're really nervous about going SLY all at once, many of us will tell you the easiest way is to try it in stages. Try buzzing it down and I can guarantee you will immediately start to feel relief. There are alot of us here who will give you alot of support and advice from a "been there" and "done that" perspective.
Hope you hang around and post some more. Post a pic if you get a chance. Be sure to check out all of the before and afters. I think you'll be nothing but encouraged. 8)
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hey, thanks for the replies guys - here's the only recent pic I have of myself:
(https://www.slybaldguys.com/smf/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fa332.ac-images.myspacecdn.com%2F01484%2F13%2F35%2F1484705331_l.jpg&hash=c6543794677f3a152cd37e7ae8d2bb6a2ebe323d)
It's difficult as well because my style doesn't really match the whole SLY style, and i have huge ears too haha!
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There is also a site "baldlygo.com" where you can post a pic and they will email you the pic back w/o hair. By the way, the SLY style is pretty diverse. I wouldn't limit yourself to any pre-conceived notions.
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Pat, welcome! As the guys have said, this is a great place for support. I am sure that it's very hard at your age. I would be suspicious of these 'so called' cures. The only cure I know of is shaving it all off and forgetting about the past. I too would recommend buzzing it down and getting used to the look. You might find it looks alright, and it's so easy to maintain. It looks like you have friends who don't seem to care about your hair. Have you asked their opinions on you potentially buzzing it down or going all the way and shaving it completely? Mother Nature isn't always kind to us, especially at your age, but you have a whole life to live. The sooner you get past this point (albeit a tough one), the sooner you can get on with the rest of your life. The sly look is very accepted these days, and there's no reason it won't work for you. Keep reading and posting.
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Pat, I can understand how you feel losing your hair at a young age. With today's image conscience society, it's hard to accept something that the media portrays as ugly. Though, you shouldn't let others define you and your self confidence. I recommend shaving your head and keeping it that way for 30 days. I know you have your treatment going on, but you really need to put that on hold and try shaving your head. One, I think you're most likely spending a lot of money on things that will only suck up your money and not regrow your hair for the long term. Two, shaving your head is very liberating and you should try it.
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It started going grey then too. Things have got harder and harder and harder
Since it started to thin, I've watched all my self-confidence, which i had heaps of, melt away until now I'm scared of cameras, worry about doing sport because my hair looks thinner when i sweat, and shy away from talking about my age because no-one believes me without having to be convinced.
I find life really hard at the moment, I can't look in the mirror without having a little breakdown.
I'm scared of the stares and comments.
I've got to a point where I find myself hiding away inside, all because I'm losing my hair.
it's the worst feeling in the world knowing people are staring at you thinking you're too old to be here.
Pat , welcome to SBG's, you've come to the right place for help and support but we can only do so much to help you, you have to take the final step by shaving it and liberating and solving your problem...
i've quoted a few things from your post.. read these to yourself and see what "hair" is doing to you, its destroying you from the inside. you are very young but there are many guys that go bald at that age you are not alone.
you say that sly is not your style..well going bald is not your style either but your doing it and hating every minute of it. you are young and can adapt to a new style better and easier than most of us old guys, i thought it was going to be hard for me to adapt to a new style at 38 years old..it was.. for a few days until i realized that my old balding style hair was actually limiting me in what i could wear and what would look decent on me...no you can't be an "emo" but since your going bald anyway you will have to accept it and find a new style regardless...do it while you are young and eliminate the torture that you will put yourself through over the years.
also that "pioneering laser treatment" is a farce and a big waste of money..its a scam and so are the drugs...you've got to realize that if these "treatments" actually worked that there would be no bald men on the earth especially rich bald men with millions of dollars at their disposable.
buzz it to a #2 , then a #1, then shave it completely, your confidence will come back...
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Hi Pat and welcome, a shaved head is a trendy look
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Pat, first off, welcome! Obviously since you're now a member, you've at least entertained the thought of going sly. I'm only 28 but have been progressively losing my hair since I was 17. So from someone who's been in your shoes, I can honestly tell you that it's apparent that it is affecting your self-esteem in a harmful way.
While I never personally tried any laser or chemical treatments, I've gotta agree with Kajun that if those types of treatments really worked, don't you think the majority of guys with MPB (male pattern baldness) like you & I have would be all over the place telling anyone who would listen to do it. I personally think you're just wasting your money and setting yourself up for further disappointment.
This is what I recommend. Take control of the situation by buzzing it down gradually like I did. I did that for about 6 months until I wasn't even using a guard on my clippers. Then about 2-3 wks ago, I decided to go for it, and went sly for the first time. Guess what? I loved it. It was one of the most liberating experiences of my life! I'm serious here. And, despite my fears, none of my friends or family have said anything negative at all. My parents and brothers didn't even notice until I said something. They told me they didn't notice because I had been buzzing it down every week anyway.
If you don't want to go that route, that's totally up to you. But with the support and encouragement I received from my sly bros, I took control and went sly, and their support and encouragement is what has enabled me to accept this lifestyle and my confidence has risen ever since. We're here to support you no matter what! I gotta tell you though, the ladies really love a sly man! Keep us posted bro and feel free to ask questions.
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Hi Pat,welcome to the forum.
I have been in the same situation as you,young & going very thin on top.I didnt know about all the different drugs out there to try & help things,but on the other hand i'm glad i did'nt.I had been buzzing my hair down since i was in my early 20's started at a No3,then 2 then down to a 1 & each time i thought 'why did'nt i do this sooner?'
This is a great place with loads of people from all walks of life,some are like me natural & others are BBC (Bald By Choice) stick around & have a laugh
Lifes too short to worry about things
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Hi Pat & welcome to the site,
As others have said, you've come to the right place here. I can well relate to your story as I started losing my hair at a very young age too so I know what you're going through. It's an odd condition since it doesn't actually do you any physical harm as such & that kind of makes you feel worse about feeling so bad about it & being preoccupied with it it - well, it did me anyway & because of that it makes it very difficult to talk about sometimes, which is one reason why this site is such a great place - here you are free to discuss your worries with a lot of us who've been through the same thing so take heart from that.
When you go sly it is indeed a liberating experience as it's an act of taking control back - after all, you can't lose any hair if you have none to lose - & you cease to feel like a victim with no control over the situation. It's a bit like looking into the abyss & finding hey - that's not half as bad as I thought it was going to be, in fact I even quite like it!
I'm 45 now & have now lost all the hair that I'm going to lose - (ie; I don't have a single hair on the top of my head anymore) & I have to tell you - the hardest stage was the stage you're at now - going bald is harder than being bald - especially when you're very young & you feel like the only one who's going through it - it can feel very lonely indeed - but take heart - there's loads of us here who have been through it & survived & you will too!
Good luck with the treatment but if it doesn't deliver (& I fear it may not) remember - there's a whole bunch of cool sly guys here who are happy to embrace the look (many of whom are completely bbc, so it can't be THAT bad!) & there's only one way to become as cool as SLY & that's to join us!
Take care & keep us informed as to how you get on.
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Losing your hair at a young age is tough, but it does not get any easier the older you get. It's one of those things that there's never a good time for. When was the last time you heard anybody say, "Oh well, I'm XX years old so it's about time my hair started falling out"?
I can only reiterate what everyone else has told you. I'd also like to add that there is a world of difference between going bald and being bald. The balding process is not fun. It makes you look older and it can make you look very awkward at certain stages. But not having hair at all is completely different. It's something that you not only can learn to live with, but can actually come to like, as most of us have. I know that is hard for you to fathom right now, but you're just going to have to trust us on that. It's a leap of faith, but things are far brighter than you can imagine here on the other side. As Kajun pointed out, a full head of hair is no longer an option, regardless of what the people selling the restoration products are telling you, so accept it and move on. The two choices available you are partially bald or completely sly. I know which one I would (and in fact, did) choose.
I met a friend for a few drinks earlier tonight and there were plenty of bald guys in the bar. Most of them were completely sly, a few were clipper-shaved or closely buzzed. The only one who looked ridiculous was the one 50-something year old guy with MPB and a ponytail halfway down his back.
Sorry for the long post. Cheer up, things are not nearly as dark as they seem right now.
Good luck.
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Hi and Welcome Pat!!
I was in your same boat... I started losing my hair around 19! However, back in the '80s the only option to hide the baldness was a rug, which wasn't even an option for me... blech!
I really can't add anything to what the others have said without sounding redundant, but I will add that any hair restoration treatment is not a permanent solution. As soon as you stop, your hair will begin to fall out again. Is this treatment really something that you want to do for the rest of your life?
Being sly is definitely liberating... no worries about rain, wind, sports, bedhead, etc! There are more than a few guys on here that have gone through various treatments or had "systems"... in the end most if not all will tell you that either way is a waste of money.
Obviously, whatever you do is your decision. Weigh the pros and cons of each and make an educated decision.
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Welcome Pat
Im also from the UK, Im from near Liverpool and currently deliberating "when" to go sly. Where are you from?
Im 23 and have been losing my hair since I was 15,when I took a drug called Roacutane for acne, this basically accelerated my hairloss but as I see it, it helped me because the acne was eating me up and it doesnt look good whereas abit of hairloss doesnt look that bad. Anyways Ive been receeding for almost 9 years now so Im very slow BUT I started thinning in the last year which caused me to start Propecia which Im still taking as it doesnt seem to cause any side affects to me. I really dont think you should take Minox, it basically gets your hair hooked on the drug.
I buzzed my hair 2 weeks ago down to a supposed 3 but was really a 2. All I can say is that it looks brilliant and everyone likes it apart from my Mum and 1 work colleague.
Basically what Im trying to say is that Im in the same boat as you, Im young, what I think is too young for this kind of hairloss, BUT sh*t happens, dont let your hairloss destroy you, buzz it down feel more comfortable, then maybe progress towards a nice clean sly look.
Dont waste your 20s is all I can say.
p.s. I started to get little bits of grey when I was 14, though no one ever notices because Im blonde
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Hey man i totally get where u coming from,hairloss can be soul-destroying. you build up this self image that your comfortable with and then when you hit the 20s hairloss shreds it to pieces.
Im 23 and considered a decent looking guy by some of the ladies but then hairloss came along and now im wrecked as to the image that ive created for myself being torn apart from hairloss.
The answer i can give you is that is about confidence, i have a friend thats bbc and not a great looker but gets girls because of rocl solid self-confidence, he refuses to let the perceptions of others define who he is, he says that a bald head and rock hard self-confidence is far more effective in getting the ladies then a full haid of hair.
So my advice would be to work on how you see yourself, find out what defines you, ( this iswhat im currently doing), then shave it off and rock the rockstar lifestyle, hit the gym, if you got a great body girls will be checking your body out not your hair.
Hope that helps mate. Best of luck.
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Welcome Pat! I was "blessed" with thin hair and a very high hairline that began to recede when I was 18. Personally, I wish I could take back the last 17 years I had spent hiding under a hat! I can't add much that hasn't already been said, other than it says a lot when someone isn't in denial about their hair loss...you've come to the right place for ideas and support. Look forward to your future posts! O0
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GR8 advice and info from all r sly brahs here. welcome....pat 2 the sly fraternity. keep your head up and keep us posted. remember that we support u.... my new sly brah.
WARHAWK O0
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Pat...bro...don't get caught up on the "my ears are too big, ect", thing....
Your ears show now...and probably stick out more because you have hair framing them...shaved clean you'll just have the same tone...gleaminly smooth flesh! O0
You're not the sly style guy....who is initially...sly comes in every body/style type....dude shave your head clean, stop stressing (you're too young) and go have some fun with your new found SLY confidence and...
NEVER look back!
Trust us bro!
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Hey Pat, welcome to the forum
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Hi Pat,
Remember this. The primary reason all people, men & women alike, go bald is due to higher levels of testosterone. In essence the excess testosterone is killing off your hair. Rejoice in knowing that you are a young virile love/sex machine who has better things to do than worry about hair. Save your money on the treatments is my recommendation. We, sly bald guys, are the exception in a world that is excessively judgemental. Be strong in your own convictions and try the sly look if that be your choice. If you're like most of the guys here you will overcome the down side of hair loss. I find it easy to make fun of myself and rejoice in the fact that I've entered into a new phase of life. I've come up with a gillion phrases/slogans that I tell myself frequently. Here's one for you to try: Bald Like the Eagle, Bold Like the Bull, Strong Like the Elephant, Stubborn Like the Mule! 100% Animal It is you who determines your fate by large in your attitude, people who really know and care about you didn't begin a relationship with you for your hair. Best of Luck to ya from Texas!
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Ok having a late one at work so thought i would throw my contribution into this mix aswell.
Firstly where in the UK are you from? I am from the wonderful, slightly wet Yorkshire countryside - the UK contingent on here is mounting up!
Anyway, I was, and guess still am in a similar boat to you. When I was in my teens i used to get comments from mates about receding which i just laughed off to be honest. By the age of 22 it was obvious that i was losing my hair. I am now 28 and have had considerable hair loss, so much so that the only time i would have any hair on the top of my head is if i let it grow back (if that makes any sense at all) what i mean is that a shadow is noticable when I shave whereas the hair on top (albeit very little) most definitely is.
Anyhow, my theory is as follows:
- I have not yet seen anyone on this site who has regretted shaving, whatever their age etc etc.
- As an observer i have not yet seen anyone who looks worse having shaved
- We all have things we dont like about ourselves whether we are sly or not, mine is the shape of my head, but ultimately i hated having curly hair too, it is just more acceptable to hate being bald!
I figure I am as ugly (or otherwise) as I was before I shaved all that has changed is I used to have hair.
You will also (in my experience) find that the comments stop when you shave it all off. In fact the MD of my company who also has MPB has asked me half a dozen times if i just wet shave my head, and aloways follows it up with i wish i had the guts to do that. Comments are generally positive (although maybe I am scary looking being 6ft 4).
I have also found that it has no detrimental impact with the ladies. Although very happy in a long term relationship I can recount at least a couple of occasions recently when i have gone out and could have hooked up with someone of the opposite sex. The guys have it bang on, confidence is the key and what you must cling on to. Relying on a 'treatment' will perpetually leave you wondering how long it will last and how long you are delaying the inevitable. When you shave, you accept your look and the sooner you get that over and done with the sooner you can enjoy life again.
I can associate with all your neurosis re: mirrors etc and i still have that on occasion but most of the time i look in the mirror and am pleasantly surprised that i look better than i do in my head!
Also I have big ears too and i dont think you should worry about that at all, it is all part of who you are and what your friends, future relationships and colleagues will like you for.
Right I had better go home and see if Mrs Argyle has had a baby yet!
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hey Pat, welcome to SBG!
Im currently 20 and have been sly now for almost two months (seems so much longer now).
Its hard to add on anything that hasnt already been said but i'll give it a shot...
I know exactly that feeling that you get when your balding in high school. I remember specifically in about 10th grade when a friend of mine who was taller than me told me publicly in class "Hey man, you have a huge bald spot!"
Yea, the next few weeks werent that great. All i got were comments of my balding. I convinced myself that its all ok and that its just a stage, that it will grow back...
Well, it didnt....it got worse...and my self-esteem got worse...
eventually i got over caring about what people thought....everyone thought i was extremely older and it became my "thing" (as sad as it may be, i accepted that).
Going into university was extremely difficult again. It was hard to have everyone judge me again and consider me an outsider because i seemed to be such an older person who is already balding at 18/19.
And trust me, i got the comments. I got the same "dude, your balding---why?!" (haha now those questions about why im balding i think are the stupidiest questions ever, anyways i digress) You know, it was extremely hard to deal with but people got over it and more importantly i got over it...it wasnt easy by no means...
its hard for me to tell you that its an easy thing and everyone gets over it...just not true...it is a very difficult thing to deal with...till two months ago i was still having a hard time dealing with it...(there are just so many ways you can cover a bald spot) For me, the hardest was the family. I had relatives who were "worried" about me and kept recommending me to different doctors who can help me...as if i had some disease....argh...
anyways, it all changed when i saw some bald guys and loved the look they were sporting...i decided that night that i would try it...something in my head snapped...like an off/on switch...i didnt care anymore that i was still on school, that i had a big family event where everyone would see the next week, that i didnt even do any research, that i didnt think i would have the head to be bald......i just did it...
and here i am today...quite happy!
still miss the hair sometimes but you know what the funny thing is...i miss the hair that i had when i was like 10-12, not the hair that i had anytime in high school and after....
I havent looked back since and i am truly happy....my confidence rose and everyone accepted it (with time of course)
Now, i cant even imagine myself with hair again!
and im going to a different school to study, in a different country! but now, instead of caring what people would think about my hair or look, i care about whether they will understand my hebrew....
my priorities have changed, my outlooked changed, so overall im a happier person.
Now, pat, the sly thing worked for me....just overall it worked....it clicked...
I can preach to you that its the thing that you need to do as well but i cant....you should decide that you need it or you dont...that same thing that clicked in my head needs to happen in yours...
anyways, i've rambled on again and dont know if i actually answered anything but feel free to ask me questions since we are so close in age...
-Leo
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Nice reply Leo! O0
Felt like I was there with ya bro!
Real glad you're diggin' the bald sly way these days...it fits ya bro!
P.S. you gonna be able to be on the board when you're off , abroad , at school...hope you can still throw it around with us every now and then! O0
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Yeah, good reply Leo! O0
Welcome Pat. First off let me say that I don't think you look bad at all with the hair you got right now. I think you might be blowing your situation way out of proportion. But if you would go sly you definitely could rock that style bro. I'm not quite sure what you are meaning when you say that it wouldn't fit your style. If you mean the friends or people around you then would you really want to be around them anyway if they would except your "style" or whatever else about you? In my opinion the hair treatments are a big waste of time. Like baldrob said it's a lifelong process. Do you really want to have to put up with all that forever? Shave your head bro. It will be the best thing you have ever done for yourself. Whatever your decision just know you have plenty of support on this forum. O0
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Nice reply Leo! O0
Felt like I was there with ya bro!
Real glad you're diggin' the bald sly way these days...it fits ya bro!
P.S. you gonna be able to be on the board when you're off , abroad , at school...hope you can still throw it around with us every now and then! O0
thanks man
i def. felt like everyone on this site were right there with me....couldnt have kept it up without the support of the people here....
of course im going to still be on the site even after i leave! im here to stay.... >:D
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Welcome Pat!
What sticks (Leo) said is good stuff. I was really thining in my early 20's after having the hockey hair lookfrom the late 80's.
Remember...only a few perfect heads are made, the rest were given hair. Let the dome shine through O0
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Welcome to SBG Pat......give us a pic of that shiny dome!!! I'd venture to say it looks hot, but that's just me O:O