Sly Bald Guys Forum
Discussions About Being Bald => To be or not be...Bald => Topic started by: RichardN. on June 01, 2007, 12:56:07 PM
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Last summer I shaved my head but it made me a little nervous & uncomfortable. Everyone had to mention it to me. I hated standing out so much. Why do people have to make comments? Negative & positive? Does anyone have any advice on how to handle unwanted attention?
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Questions like these all go towards your own view of your appearance. I would guess to say that most of the SBG's will tell you that their self-confidence has greatly improved since they made the decision to go sly...I know mine has. I love my new look!!! And really, if others don't like it, screw 'em. My wife doesn't like mine, but I love it and I have no intention on growing my hair back.
As far as "standing out", there are only a few SBG's where I live. But, when there is an SBG encounter, I usually joke and say, "Hey Bud, I see we go to the same barber....I call it the HAIR DON'T" (as opposed to the Hair-Do). I usually make it a point to make this joke with other people around. The people that hear it usually chuckle and I've had lay-days occasionally give me a big smile and say "I like that".
It's a confidence thing. Crack open a beer & march to your own drummer, Rich! O0
Cheers!
Schro
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Maybe if you realize that the reason you stand out is more than appearance it might help!
You have made a bold stand for your own values, that challanges other people or "sheeple" who themselves are conformed to what they think others expect in order to be accepted by them. You, clearly are not!
There comes a point where we just have to stop letting ourselves care what other people think, a SBG has done just that.
You are no longer a "sheep" bro... that's what makes you stand out! O0
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I would love to add something, but I think the Sarge and Schro have said what I would have.
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Thanks guys! I working on getting up my nerve again. I'll keep you posted!
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I strongly agree with the others, there is nothing elst to say on this topic.
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The Sarge and Schro said it like it is bro. Just enjoy the new you.
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welcome richard.....the reason why you didnt stick with it last summer is because you wasn't a SBG O0 now that you found this place you'll learn how to perfect the Sly guy attitude in order to rock the look O0
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Questions like these all go towards your own view of your appearance. I would guess to say that most of the SBG's will tell you that their self-confidence has greatly improved since they made the decision to go sly...I know mine has. I love my new look!!! And really, if others don't like it, screw 'em. My wife doesn't like mine, but I love it and I have no intention on growing my hair back.
As far as "standing out", there are only a few SBG's where I live. But, when there is an SBG encounter, I usually joke and say, "Hey Bud, I see we go to the same barber....I call it the HAIR DON'T" (as opposed to the Hair-Do). I usually make it a point to make this joke with other people around. The people that hear it usually chuckle and I've had lay-days occasionally give me a big smile and say "I like that".
It's a confidence thing. Crack open a beer & march to your own drummer, Rich! O0
Cheers!
Schro
Question, Schro; just how does you wife 'live with it'? does it cause any strain? does she just slightly dislike it or does she HATE it? I ask because my wife is very unreceptive to the idea; and I'm wondering just how unhappy she'd be with me 'sly'? (huh ... maybe I should just ask HER? :-X
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Hi John, if I can quickly jump in...
My wife does not like my new look either. I explained to her how I felt about both, having to deal with my "very thin" hair and the literal bondage I felt I was in to maintain it, and the freedom and confidence I felt by going SLY.
Well, like married couples are supposed to do, my wife put me first in her heart, desiring what made me happy above her own happiness. I know, I have a very rare one and am totally blessed! :@`
I think the key was taking the time to really explain things and make her part of the decision!
Sarge
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Thanks for the wise words, brother Sarge. Openess and honesty are the key things, I agree. Part of my mistake is not sharing with my wife my feelings about my thinning hair; the look I want to achieve, and why I want it. You've given me "food for thought" and maybe even the extra ounce of courage I need to go all the way.
John
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O0 Let me tell you. If you love your wife and she shares our grief over balding, then share with her, make her a part of the the you you have to be. Gott sei Dank, my wife understood the agony of male pattern baldness and ENCOURAGED me to take the next step, slyness. It is not easy. You have to come to grips with what nature/genetics has decreed. That said, the bald, gleaming male dome is glorious. Professor Melon
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JohnMont,
There is one thing I can't understand about your situation. You are so close to being naturally bald already (at least that's what your pic conveys to me), so what is it that turns your wife off to just finishing the job? There isn't much difference between completely shaved and your current hair (what there is of it) trimmed very short. Maybe you will look many years younger and more sexy to other women (just a thought since I don't know her or you) and that maybe that makes her nervous. I'm just perplexed. :/O
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With me, It stopped after a week or two. If you keep on doing it, people wont say a word. They just got to get used to it. If it makes you happy, dont worry what others think.
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Questions like these all go towards your own view of your appearance. I would guess to say that most of the SBG's will tell you that their self-confidence has greatly improved since they made the decision to go sly...I know mine has. I love my new look!!! And really, if others don't like it, screw 'em. My wife doesn't like mine, but I love it and I have no intention on growing my hair back.
As far as "standing out", there are only a few SBG's where I live. But, when there is an SBG encounter, I usually joke and say, "Hey Bud, I see we go to the same barber....I call it the HAIR DON'T" (as opposed to the Hair-Do). I usually make it a point to make this joke with other people around. The people that hear it usually chuckle and I've had lay-days occasionally give me a big smile and say "I like that".
It's a confidence thing. Crack open a beer & march to your own drummer, Rich! O0
Cheers!
Schro
Question, Schro; just how does you wife 'live with it'? does it cause any strain? does she just slightly dislike it or does she HATE it? I ask because my wife is very unreceptive to the idea; and I'm wondering just how unhappy she'd be with me 'sly'? (huh ... maybe I should just ask HER? :-X
Initially, she really disliked it. A couple of months ago, she made a snide comment about me prepping the nugget for a night out, and I opened up on her. I told her (paraphrase) "You have told me on many occasions that you don't like it. I'm sorry you don't, but I DO. It's my head, not yours, and this is the look I have chosen".
She hasn't said anything since. Yyou would think the fact that I'm not scratching my scalp 24/7 would be enough evidence to accept the SLY look.
Women, can't live with em.......God, I need a beer.
Oops, sorry for the God reference. Did I offend anyone?
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Schro, I wouldn't be surprised if she really was starting to like it but doesn't want to admit it because she's already boxed herself into a corner by coming out so strongly against it from the get-go. But if she's stopped complaining about it, that's all you really need.
Kudos to you for not giving in to the pressure. A lot of guys would have (and many have done). The interesting thing is I'm sure you wouldn't dream of telling her what she could and could not do with her hair, nor would she think to consult you before she did.
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Women, can't live with em.......God, I need a beer.
Oops, sorry for the God reference. Did I offend anyone?
@K* W#p (H@
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Thanks for the support on my conversation with the lovely Mrs. Schro. I usually make no mention of her hair. Rarely does she vary her look, but when she has, it always looks great. I think you might be right, RazorX. She's a pretty proud gal and it'd be hard to admit she might be coming around to the sly look.
Oh, I'm sorry for the religious reference. I'll punish myself my drinking a Coors Light.
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Women, can't live with em.......God, I need a beer.
Oops, sorry for the God reference. Did I offend anyone?
@K* W#p (H@
Not in the least bro! And isn't beer the sacremental wine of the "Church of Schro"!
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Women, can't live with em.......God, I need a beer.
Oops, sorry for the God reference. Did I offend anyone?
@K* W#p (H@
Not in the least bro! And isn't beer the sacremental wine of the "Church of Schro"!
In order to be Politically Correct in these dangerous times, it's not a church, it's a "Syna-Chruch-a-Mosque"
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JohnMont,
There is one thing I can't understand about your situation. You are so close to being naturally bald already (at least that's what your pic conveys to me), so what is it that turns your wife off to just finishing the job? There isn't much difference between completely shaved and your current hair (what there is of it) trimmed very short. Maybe you will look many years younger and more sexy to other women (just a thought since I don't know her or you) and that maybe that makes her nervous. I'm just perplexed. :/O
Yeah, Stew, I have been going pretty short lately. Trouble is, we were on a vacation the last two weeks and I couldn't get away for a haircut; so that I ended up with almost 4 weeks growth !! UGH !! --- Thanks for that "looking more sexy to other women" comment, though. Again, another little "push" to get me going totally sly !
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Questions like these all go towards your own view of your appearance. I would guess to say that most of the SBG's will tell you that their self-confidence has greatly improved since they made the decision to go sly...I know mine has. I love my new look!!! And really, if others don't like it, screw 'em. My wife doesn't like mine, but I love it and I have no intention on growing my hair back.
Sounds like you and your lady have a very healthy "agree to disagre" attitude on this question. You have a good point in stating "I'ts my head". On the other hand, Prof Mellon and Sarge have made great statements as well. My position is maybe somewhere in the middle. My wife will probably not "like" my shaved head once I do it, but at least I need to share with here fully why I want it ; why I think it woudl be a positive improvement .
John
As far as "standing out", there are only a few SBG's where I live. But, when there is an SBG encounter, I usually joke and say, "Hey Bud, I see we go to the same barber....I call it the HAIR DON'T" (as opposed to the Hair-Do). I usually make it a point to make this joke with other people around. The people that hear it usually chuckle and I've had lay-days occasionally give me a big smile and say "I like that".
It's a confidence thing. Crack open a beer & march to your own drummer, Rich! O0
Cheers!
Schro
Question, Schro; just how does you wife 'live with it'? does it cause any strain? does she just slightly dislike it or does she HATE it? I ask because my wife is very unreceptive to the idea; and I'm wondering just how unhappy she'd be with me 'sly'? (huh ... maybe I should just ask HER? :-X
Initially, she really disliked it. A couple of months ago, she made a snide comment about me prepping the nugget for a night out, and I opened up on her. I told her (paraphrase) "You have told me on many occasions that you don't like it. I'm sorry you don't, but I DO. It's my head, not yours, and this is the look I have chosen".
She hasn't said anything since. Yyou would think the fact that I'm not scratching my scalp 24/7 would be enough evidence to accept the SLY look.
Women, can't live with em.......God, I need a beer.
Oops, sorry for the God reference. Did I offend anyone?
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John, My wife was initially somewhat opposed to the SLY look. She would never openly criticize it, (other than her initial shock when I first shaved), but she just would never say anything good about it, either. I think I've come to believe that her not saying "anything" is her way of accepting it :D.
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John, the thing that you have to think about is "Where's the compromise?" ... If you have to give up the Bald Look, what has she given up? Is it something that you are willing to do without in echange for what you get in return. My father has shaved off his Mustache for over 25 Years because my mother Hates it to the core, and he is willing to shave it because it makes her happy and it is not a big thing to him.
Now if shaving is where you fell more comfortable, and you feel strong enough about it that you don't want to just let it go [obvious by the fact that you are asking for advice here on how to get your wife to be willing to cope with it], I say JUST DO IT! Explain to you wife that that is how you feel the most happy, the most confident, and at your Best. That you feel Insecure/Sub-Par in appearance/Self-Concious/or any other way that you feel when you have hair full blast. Explain that that is how you are the most comfortable, and that it would be nice if she could give you a few months to go for it, and see if she can adjust. More than likely, she will be able after a while just to let it go, and hell, she may notice how much more confident/sly/hansome/swuave/strong that you are without the mop, and become secretly "in the closet" about her love of the Bald Look. Relax, and realize, all that marriage is is a controlled compromise; if it is something that you are unwilling to bend on, explain that to your significant other and more than likely she will let it go [atleast for a trial period].
But if it is something that you don't feel to strongly about, relax and just let it go. Up to you Brother. O0
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John, My wife was initially somewhat opposed to the SLY look. She would never openly criticize it, (other than her initial shock when I first shaved), but she just would never say anything good about it, either. I think I've come to believe that her not saying "anything" is her way of accepting it :D.
Wait a minute, we can't be married to the same woman, can we? That is exactly where my wife is, I believe. We just don't talk about it. I did get a head rub today out of nowhere. I 'slyly' said, 'hey I haven't had a head rub in a long time. I like that.' Gotta take advantage of it while I can.
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Pretty much in the same boat.. but my wife as told me on numerous time she prefers hair even if it's just velcro look...
after 2months of growing my hair :/O I decided to shave it off last week. actually I logged on here.. and immediately wanted to shave..
when I shaved on last thursday I think.. my wife came home with my daugther,,, my little came to see me in the bathroom....and when she saw I was shaved.. SHE Screamed to her mom.. Mom.. Dad made us a surprise...he shaved his head.. She's only 4 .. 5 in october.. she love's the sly look.. my wife loves me... so she will not ask me to grow my hair..at many times I've asked her. what do you want me to do.. her reply.. Do what makes you feel good Dan,I love you it doesn't matter, we have 10 years diff.. I look allot older without hair but that's fine by me.. as long as the 2 things I live for... are their for me I don't realy care what other's might even think, suggest, or the way they look at me...........
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WOW..... i guess i'm pretty lucky. i'm a fairly new member of the sly look (april2007). my barber did my 1st initial cut w/ the clippers for a week. the following week.... a co-worker of mine who sports a sly look suggested i try an electric razor. when i bought the philipps norelco electric razor, my wife started shaving my head every 2 days. she absolutely luvs my new look. recently after 1-2 weeks of the electric and reading the many takes of this forum of razor shaving... i took the next step and started w/ the razor. my wife does my head w/ the regular fusion every 1-2 days. she actually enjoys shaving the dome. and does a great job. i did it once when she went 2 visit her family out of town and i nearly bled 2 death. anyways.... i'M glad that my wife plays a part in my new look.
WARHAWK O0
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I guess I am one of the lucky ones as well. I've been sly for an entire 3 days and my wife and kids and other family members absolutely love it. They knew how miserable I was always worrying about my hair. Now it is no worry - just shave it and enjoy my new found attitude. I had a friend tell me this morning at a court hearing that he wishes he had the guts to cut his like mine. What's funny, he has a full head of hair. I guess it is envious to be SLY. O0
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I had a friend tell me this morning at a court hearing that he wishes he had the guts to cut his like mine. What's funny, he has a full head of hair. I guess it is envious to be SLY. O0
See, now that is what this place is all about and the dudes on the fence don't always get it...
Some dudes with hair want to have a bald head...it's a different time and place my brothers..
Bald (SLY) is cool!....but we already ALL know that ;)
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I had a friend tell me this morning at a court hearing that he wishes he had the guts to cut his like mine. What's funny, he has a full head of hair. I guess it is envious to be SLY. O0
See, now that is what this place is all about and the dudes on the fence don't always get it...
Some dudes with hair want to have a bald head...it's a different time and place my brothers..
Bald (SLY) is cool!....but we already ALL know that ;)
As another sly guy who is totally BBC gotta say BA hit it right on the head!! O0
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Bald (SLY) is cool!....but we already ALL know that ;)
And that was an extremely well kept secret until the past 10 years or so. Makes you wonder why it took so long for people to finally figure it out.
Regardless of how it looks, I think there'd be a lot more sly guys in the world if they just knew just how good it feels not to have any hair on the dome.
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Regardless of how it looks, I think there'd be a lot more sly guys in the world if they just knew just how good it feels not to have any hair on the dome.
THAT'S the extra bonus to the cool look! O0
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Regardless of how it looks, I think there'd be a lot more sly guys in the world if they just knew just how good it feels not to have any hair on the dome.
THAT'S the extra bonus to the cool look! O0
Shhhhh...I not sure we want to let that out....I am finding it is great to be a minority sly guy...you get alot more attention that way. It really reinforces the need to stay sly forever (like there was any doubt) 8) O0