Sly Bald Guys Forum
New Member Section => Introductions => Topic started by: The Sheep on December 07, 2012, 03:38:22 PM
-
Hello SBG.
I have been aware of the forum for a while but have been in denial.
I think my hair first started to bother me around 14-15 years old. At this time I gelled my hair up a lot and would always obsess over hiding my hairline the best I could.
I developed Body Dysmorphic Disorder and had two cases of serious depression before I was 20.
I have a lot of obsessive compulsive habits which is what causes my BDD. I cannot stop myself from checking my appearance from every angle, every distance, under all light conditions and in any reflective surface I find. Many things about my appearance have bothered me which include my pale complexion, nose size, deep wrinkle between my eyes and shiny skin but most of all my hairline.
The reason I was identified as having BDD was not the actual checking of my appearance. It is actually due to the fact that I see a different image every time I look. Sometimes I look at myself and think I look hideous. Sometimes I look at myself and think I look normal. Every time I look I see a distorted image that I cannot fully identify as myself.
When I'm not thinking about my image I am quite a confident person but when I have time to dwell on it I become very withdrawn and get very negative about myself.
I have recently shaved my head to a #1 for the first time in my life. I'm contemplating going completely sly as I see you guys and you all totally rock the bald look. I just fear my baby face will leave me looking a bit like a cancer patient.
Thank you very much for reading my intro and I hope to stick around and get to know you guys.
-
How about posting a pic. I am sure you are worrying excessively about your looks - we all have been through that - although your case appears quite extreme.
Why noe shave it off. You will be amazed at the surge in confidence and then when you look in the mirror/shop window etc you will think what a good looking guy you are and also think 'why didn't I do this sooner'.
An added thought - many of us have found that some facial hair also adds to the good look.
-
Welcome, Shaun.
I'm glad you joined and introduced yourself. Thanks for sharing your story. I think just the act of writing it down and hitting the "Post" button to share it with us was a big step... and will go a long way in helping you get through some of the things you are dealing with.
Most people are unhappy with one or more feature about themselves. I'm sorry this has been a bigger struggle for you. Doing something as bold as shaving your head is quite humbling, yet builds more confidence all at the same time. (pretty interesting how that works). This boost in confidence has the ability to give new perspective to us. It is, for some, a symbolic way of taking control of their own life.
-
Welcome Shaun ! O0 O:O
-
Welcome to the forum, Shaun. O0
-
Welcome to the family mate, I think you should definitely give the sly look a go. If you are worried about your baby face you could always grow a beard of some description.
Keep us posted if you decide to go sly, and post some pics of you doing the deed O0
-
Hey there and welcome!
Good on you for posting your story. I think you would be suprised atthe number of people who have similar feelings about themselves.
Good thing about the site is that you can get support and advice about practicaly anything here.
-
Hi Shaun mate,
Welcome to Sly Bald Guys.
Thanks for sharing your story with us.
Stick around, I have found the brotherhood here very supportive.
O0
-
Welcom to the forum!
-
I believe if you do it you will develop more confidence in yourself. Have the guts to do it.
-
Welcome aboard and good luck!
-
Hi Shaun - from a fellow Scot.
I think you are very brave to make your first introductory post the way you have. Well done, as you have taken the first step to a more confident you. Like the guys have said already, you will find lots of support & encouragement on this site, whether or not you decide to take the plunge & become a Sly-by-choice guy.
We have all struggled at one point or other about our looks etc & you will find us guys as being very supportive of what you are / have experienced.
I would say also that you should post a current picture of yourself so we can see whom we are communicating with.
You will feel a great adrenaline rush as you get your first head shave (not really sure why that is, but perhaps the medical folks on this site can explain...) - at least I did & felt amazingly confident, too. I would say that you should give it a try as if you have buzzed your head to a #1 then you are only a few steps away from being bald-by-choice. Go for it, mate. All the best.
-
Hi Guys.
Just in from work and thought I would check back. Thank you for all your kind welcomes.
I was actually attempting to upload my current look as my profile picture. It would appear to try and load but then nothing.
(https://www.slybaldguys.com/smf/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi50.tinypic.com%2F14ln3g8.jpg&hash=004f6fe4c8e82dea5e32239158f27017ec603007)
Here is a recent picture of me before shaving it to compare against.
(https://www.slybaldguys.com/smf/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi50.tinypic.com%2F33bjqyd.jpg&hash=78720e765fe98be8959d8b626765f28deb716f8c)
@beardman & nuts - I wish I could grow some facial hair but I'm afraid I cannot grow much other than messy looking little patches! lol
@nuts, bennett11 & Bilko1 - I'm definitely considering it. I might have to talk with my parents first though. My mum has already told me she is not keen on my #1. This is someone who knows how I feel about my hair and who pretty much single handedly dragged me through my depression periods. I think she might be concerned I'm becoming too obsessed over my appearance again.
-
You look absolutely FINE, the look suits you!
-
welcome to you from Scotland!
-
You look absolutely FINE, the look suits you!
Thanks man appreciate it. The majority of the time I think that too it is just you know when I have my "evil thoughts" moments.
-
Welcome to the group.
-
You look great, and SLY fits you well shave that and you will feel like a million dollars ! And your confidance will go UP UP UP ! O0
-
Welcome to the best men's forum on the net...you are looking good like a SLY guy should!
-
Shaun,
Glad you posted the pic. I had the same problem posting an avatar one time.. I had cropped the background on the pic and actually made it smaller. When it didn't post to my profile, I ended up using the larger original before cropping and it worked. not sure why...
You look good either way, so it really is a matter of personal opinion and choice.
-
Welcome Shaun,
For the profile picture, about 65KB seems to be the maximum size.
I'll agree with just about everything written above. Personally, I think you will look great if you shave it off. That will eliminate any worries about hair style, how it's combed, length, is it time to get it cut again, and all that.
I had no issues with confidence, but even after shaving I felt so much better about myself. It's a remarkable and unexpected change.
Although I was "comfortable" being Sly from the first day, it was a couple of months until I realized that when I saw myself in the mirror I no longer noticed I had no hair. It was an interesting observation.
Regardless of what you do, I hope you will continue to participate here. Great guys with good information. We've had several fellows with BDD as well, so it's not an unknown issue around here.
-
Shawn, nice to see before and after photos.
IMO the short haircut is great, you did good buzzing your hair. O0
Thinking on going even shorter?
-
You look good either way, so it really is a matter of personal opinion and choice.
Thanks dude while I'm still at a stage where I'm still not totally comfortable with my hairline I definitely prefer the #1 when it comes to headwear, wind and rain. In fact the feeling of rain against my head is actually pleasant where with hair I feel like a drowned rat. lol
Shawn, nice to see before and after photos.
IMO the short haircut is great, you did good buzzing your hair. O0
Thinking on going even shorter?
Yeah man definitely thinking about it. I think I'm gonna give it my own take on the 30 day rule. Think I might just keep my #1 for a while longer, people are already getting used to seeing it anyway. Might make shaving it off my new years resolution!
Regardless of what you do, I hope you will continue to participate here. Great guys with good information. We've had several fellows with BDD as well, so it's not an unknown issue around here.
That's good to know. I am definitely planning to stick around. I already get an overwhelming sense of the brotherhood around here.
Thanks again everybody for all your wise words and welcomes.
-
Wenever you're ready Shaun!
Shaving is very addictive and therapeutic (others said so too).
Enjoy your new look and let us know how it goes.
-
Shaun,
Your #1 haircut pic looks absolutely fine.
However, I think that before you take the leap with lather & razor perhaps you should get a shorter #0 buzz & then if you like that, by all-means try the total head shave.
A word of warning: shaving your head can be addictive & you may not want to go back to having hair on your scalp.
A shaved head is a whole different feel & look from a buzzed head.
All the best from a fellow scot
-
Welcome, and hope you enjoy mucking about with those that cannot bleat.
-
Love the name -- very creative.
Firstly, let me say that I admire your openness and honesty in talking about your mental "problems". It takes a fair bit of courage to come out about that stuff and is much better for you putting it out in the open when the time is right [as it obviously is here, now]. In a similar vein putting your face and head "out in the open" is very therapeutic for many people. Before joining the brotherhood on this site I thought that I was the only one who felt so free after whipping my hair off but obviously not so. You look fine, fit and healthy with hair or the #1 and if you make the transition to #0 or totally slick then we all hope that you too experience the freedom from "the tyranny of hair" -- thanks to that opinionated walrus TheSlyBear for the phrase.
When you are looking at yourself in the mirror you are looking at yourself as an object and then projecting that mind-image back onto the mind-image that you have of yourself thus reinforcing it -- even if the image frequently changes as in your case. It might be helpful for you to go to http://headless.org/ and at least do this 60 second experiment http://headless.org/experiments/pointing.htm
Then do this experiment http://headless.org/experiments/the-mirror.htm
The mirror experiment shows that what shows in the mirror is just an image that is only representative of you at certain distances but at all distances when you look in the mirror you can see that what is looking is clear and attributeless. I can say that with a bit of practice that when you look into the mirror you can see more of what is looking and what it is looking out of and you will pay less and less attention to what is being looked at. The image in the mirror is only a very small facet of you [hardly even that really].
Once you get the hang of it every time that you look into the mirror you will be able to physically see [not imagine] that what you are is mostly attributeless, clear and open which is obviously based upon your open attributeless and totally clear and transparent awareness.
My apologies for not being able to explain all this in a clearer way right now but http://headless.org/ will make things perfectly clear. No religious nonsense or money involved.
As to keeping your mother happy -- my advice is to always try to keep your mother happy especially as she has seen you through some dark times. However, as she obviously has your best interests at heart and really wants you to be as happy as you can be it would probably only take a bit of talking with her to bring her on board to the slick look once you explain how much you want to do it [if you still do]. Also, letting her clearly know that it is totally and quickly reversible would probably also help quite a bit as she would see that you are not obsessing about being slick for life or whatever.
I wish you well, don't forget to stay in contact on the forum.
-
Personally, I'd leave the hair as is for right now, the buzzed look is very fashionable and you pull it off. If your facial hair isn't too patchy, then some stubble would look very good.
-
Welcome Shaun. You a golfer by any chance ? Got some great courses over there
-
Welcome Shaun!
-
Go ahead and shave your head you have nothing to worry about and I have to agree with everyone on this that I have also said so too and your confidence will go up a lot O0
-
Shawn, hope you check in again.
You look good with the buzz. You'll want to try out 30 days of truly bald. It feels so different.
Facial hair may grow better, thicker, faster when you are older. In my 20's it was slow to grow. Now almost 60 and it seems to grow rapidly.
Concerning profile pictures, keep the size to about 65K and it will take. Larger photos are silently ignored.