Sly Bald Guys Forum
New Member Section => Introductions => Topic started by: benlen on November 16, 2012, 12:07:00 PM
-
My Hair Loss Video Story:
http://www.youtube.com/v/OckQFO3sRKo&showsearch=0&rel=0
Hey guys and gals of Sly Bald Guys,
Thought I'd introduce myself as I humbly submit my request to join your ranks. Below is my somewhat lengthy story about accepting my hair loss proactively and not shying away from it, of embracing the shaved head style and moving forward with my life.
My story:
My name is Ben, and while growing up until my second/third year in college, I had one of the best heads of hair out there. Yes, while I always had a genetically high forehead, I had this fantastic mane that was always complimented at the barber as being "ridiculously thick." In high school, I was a very shy kid but my hair was blonde and long and got looks from the ladies, which I appreciated.
I invested a lot of time and energy in my hair, keeping it long "Sonny Crockett" style, but keeping it maintained.
In fact, I told my barber at 16 that I had so much hair that I would never go bald!
My father, who has a fantastic head of hair also, declared that I had his hair and would never go bald. For the record, my Dad is 54 and his hairline hasn't retreated so much as a centimeter, or lost its thickness. Lucky guy!
How IRONY plays out in your life, right? Well, irony has sort of been a theme of my young existence. Whenever I've said, "I wouldn't do that" or "That'll never happen to me!" It has. I've learned to frequently knock on wood.
My hair loss roadmap:
During my sophomore year of college, in the spring semester, I was very depressed, drinking a ton of coffee, and on high doses of Prozac to deal with depression/winter blues. In addition to that, I'd begun to notice that on one side of my head, just one temple, had receded remarkably deep, while the other remained as it always had.
I began to fret that I was going bald, telling my family, obsessing with my webcam to track its progress. At that point in college, I had been sporting the popular "faux hawk" style, which let me tell you, really didn't look good as my hairline began to recede!
The next year, I grew my hair longer to cover up my hairline, and since my hair was still markedly thick, I could mask my recent hair loss.
The next spring, I got so worried about my hairline that I decided to try using Rogaine, which I will NEVER recommend to anyone, especially if you hair is long. For starters, it makes your scalp really, really greasy, and I had horrible side-effects typically associated with Propecia and denied by the makers of Rogaine: sexual dysfunction. This was simply terrible, and insult to injury.
I also had a horrible, racing heart rate often during the day, as if I might have a heart attack!
At that point, I noticed that my thick hair was beginning to thin, so that summer, I cut my hair short, and it masked my hair loss to a certain degree.
But as I progressed into my senior year, my hair really began to thin. I would tell my friends, family, and they would claim not to notice it, or at least not notice until I pointed it out to them!
But I noticed, that was what mattered, and it was heartbreaking to watch what had one been a glorious mane reduced to rubble.
To avoid the shame of going to the barber, I bought my own haircutter and cut the hair myself, about 1 inch all around. To style it in the morning, I used a thick spiky paste. Putting the hairs up together in a faux hawk/flat top style seemed to reduce visibility of my emerging white scalp. At this point, my hairline had sort of evened out because the other temple had receeded. Sadly, that second temple also had diffuse thinning, so to keep it consistent, I had to further shave back that temple to where the hair was still thick, producing the typical M shaped hairline.
For almost a year I maintained the routine of: washing my hair with a special thickening shampoo, using a blow dryer to put my hair “up,” and the thick paste to keep it in place. All this worked to a certain degree, except when I wanted to swim or go out without a raincoat or umbrella: the effect would be ruined.
The Ultimatum:
I made a promise to myself that, when I started to develop a bald spot, or even the sight of one in the crown of my head, that I was done, and that I would shave it off. There was no freaking way I was going to be one of “those guys” who wouldn't man up, accept himself and not deny what was happening.
Well, that bald spot began to develop! Very little, thus far, but enough.
And I decided to shave it off. I am twenty-three years old, and I made the right decision!
Preparing to shave My Head:
The summer before going to college, I shaved my head, well before I had signs of hair loss.
Why? Well, a girl, now a good friend of mine, had rejected my offer for a date. I felt humilated and because I was so shy, I was really upset. Today, however, getting that tension out of the way, we're the best of buddies!
But because I was so sad, I compulsively shaved my great mane of hair.
My mother flipped out, freaked out, sqawked and made so much noise about it, and at the time, I didn't really like it, so I grew it back.
Back then, I wasn't prepared, but as I've grown older, and got used to the idea of shaving my head, I've seen it as an OPPORTUNITY rather than a disability.
This winter, I begin grad school in Boston, and I wanted to go to the city looking good with a new style and fresh look. Since I had made the pact to myself of “Bald spot, you're done,” I started to research how men with baldness sported a bald head.
My ex-girlfriend was a fashionista and painter, and well versed in color theory, and being able to match a person's eyes/skin tone to colors and clothes. It was very important to me that, if I cut my hair, that my style of clothing compliment the look.
I have and already like to work out, something that, I feel gave me something of an advantage over other balding guys who might be fat/out of shape. I might be lacking in the follicle department, but certainly not in the bicep department! (Sorry, I don't mean to offend anyone, I just think that a god bod/shaved head combo works really well!)
I discovered that certain patterns and colors like light blues, light purples, certain reds and greens looked good with the shaved head I wanted to sport (I have light skin tone, but go gold in the summer, and have grey/blue eyes).
I looked to bald celebs like Vin Diesel. Though I'm no where close as muscular as Vin by any stretch, I noticed how he liked to wear sleeveless white shirts (or wife beaters, if you want to call them that) but also V-necked shirts that emphasized his strong chest.
I tried on a few v-necks and was happy with what I saw. With the shaved head, it was a style that just looked natural. My chest was emphasized, and the V shape of the collar just looked fancy and emphasized my now bald head in a good way!
I then decided to upgrade my whole wardrobe to go with my shaved head style: new jeans, new, well fitted polos and dress shirts, and a pair of aviator sunglasses that looked more complementary on my bald skull than my old wraparounds. I also upgraded my reading/driving glasses, and I needed a new prescription anyway, so I splurged on some good, trendy frames.
Conclusion:
It's been roughly fifteen days since I've been shaving my head, and I feel great. Here's the pros and cons of my decision.
Pros:
1) Easy to maintain style in that you don't have to do up your hair.
2) No risk of rain exposing your balding scalp.
3) I look younger and feel more confident. I don't have to look in the mirror and see my hairs falling out, or my emerging scalp.
4)The bald style is “in” as it becomes more acceptable.
5) I can take more showers without having to style my hair constantly. Zero scalp irritation from hair products.
6) I can swim without feeling like everyone is looking at my balding head. When I get out of the pool or lake, I don't have to deal with wet hair for a couple of hours.
7) I'm bald already, so I have nothing to hide.
8) I'm an athlete and gym rat, so it is already acceptable in those circles to have a shaved head.
9) I don't get so hot in the gym during workouts. With the sweat on my shaved head, my body cools down faster.
10) Clean up is significantly easier. I spend less time in the shower.
Cons:
1) It's colder with a shaved head, have to wear a hat out more often (as it is winter)
2) More exposure to sun, have to use sunscreen.
3) Shaving my head is not something I do everyday, and it takes me, at this point, 45 minutes to do well, with multiple strokes to remove as much hair as a I can.
4) The reaction of my Mother, who for some reason I can't fathom really, really doesn't like the shaved head!
The part of my mom being so prejudiced really affects me. It's insulting to me that, after explaining to my mom entirely my reasoning for shaving my head, she still looks at me and grimaces. I'm straight, but having a discussion with my mom ahead of shaving my head I think felt almost what it must feel like to come out as gay to your parents!
The reason why I was so afraid to tell my mom was because of her reaction to me shaving my head all those years ago after being rejected by that girl.
In the last couple weeks, she's called me lumpy headed or said I look like Voldemort from Harry Potter! Not nice, Mom!
But, as I'm older and feel more confident, I've been able to dismiss what my Mom says to a certain point.
What I do know is that I FEEL better. I'm not worrying about my hairloss or how to cover it up. I'm not worrying about what women think because I am who I am, I'm not hiding anything.
I don't feel as if life is treating me “unfairly” anymore, because I've embraced what life has dealt me, and have done so with courage.
I don't feel as if I'm aging before my eyes every time I look in the mirror. I look and it's just me, there, with my shaved head. No biggie!
Thanks for reading/watching!
Last question: I've looked on this site for some time, and can't figure out the "sly" label. Does someone want to fill me in on the origin of that? Sorry for the newbie question!
-ben
-
wow. welcome!
-
Wow, great intro and video! I think we may have a new sly ambassador on our hands.
-
Welcome to the group of SLY BALD GUYS - - You look great - - - now enjoy your baldness - -
As long as you like it and enjoy it - -that is all that counts
-
Awesome video!!!! Welcome aboard.
-
Welcome Ben,
great improvement to your hair style, I'm really glad you're enjoying it, hope you'll keep it. O0
-
Welcome bro!
As for the sly thing, I think it's a Kojak reference. Could be wrong though.
-
Welcome Ben, thanks for sharing your story. The video was awesome...really enjoyed it. Sly looks great on you.
-
Welcome to the bald brotherhood Ben. Excellent story, really motivational to those who are thinking about shaving but still undecided. Thanks for sharing the story and the video. As BillonBass has said, we have a new Sly Ambassador.
-
Welcome, Ben!
-
Congratulations on taking control of the situation now instead of waiting for your hair loss to get worse. O0
-
Welcome Ben, great introduction and congratulations on taking control of your life via your hair.
The 45 minutes to shave is natural at first and will quickly diminish to something you can easily manage daily (if you choose). I'm down to about 6 minutes to completely shave my head including touch-up of the odd areas.
Mom's opinion ... mom's seem to generally be distraught when their "little boys" change in almost any way. She will adapt in time.
Name of the site ... that's easy. Look here: http://www.slybaldguys.com/smf/index.php?topic=3939.0 (http://www.slybaldguys.com/smf/index.php?topic=3939.0)
-
great story and shaved head
-
Glad to see you take charge of your situation. You look good sly - a natural!
As to your cons list, yes, a shaved head is colder at first, but the longer you shave the more accustomed to it you become and the less noticeable the cold is. I'm going into my second winter and the colder air doesn't bother me as much, if at all, so far.
You'll also become faster at shaving as you practice and as your scalp toughens up. Many of us spent 30 to 45 minutes shaving at first, but eventually got to the point where it only takes a short time to get a good shave.
Sunscreen is a necessary item and you'll use more since you have more suface to cover, but the feeling of sun on the scalp is really nice, especially on a cool sunny day.
As to your mom's reaction - well, what can I say? She probably still sees you as her little boy, so a shaved head is a shock. If you like it, that's what matters. She either come around or get tired of commenting (I hope!)
-
Really interesting (and amusing posting! Really liked your You Tube Video too, you appear to have such a positive attitude towards your hairloss I was quite envious.
I have no doubt that you will be of great help to guys on here!
-
Ben, I just watched the video ... that's great.
Gotta say, your smile at the end when you were sporting the Sly Style says it all. You've got what it takes - no worries about hair loss.
-
Excellent Ben...you made a great statement for us.
-
Hey Baldie Ben ... welcome to SBG ! You are perfect sly person that any guy with hairloss should talk to, especially someone your age ! Excellent video ! Glad you joined !
-
Hi Ben,
Welcome. You look great sly.
Thanks for sharing your story. It was great.
It helped build my confidence a lot too!
-
It's a good move. I should've done it a few years ago myself, but glad I'm there now. Welcome to the club!
It took me just over a week to halve my shave time, so be patient with yourself and don't try to rush it! Looking forward to reducing my shave time even more, but I imagine I'll have a bit of a temporary setback when I switch to the new razor in a few days. Like anything though, it gets easier with time.
-
Awesome video and intro Ben, welcome from another 23 year old. My Mom also called me Voldemort so don't sweat it, after almost a year she now really likes it, and even if she didn't, I love it! You look awesome bald (loving the aviators), so enjoy it, the Churchill quote you used was very apt, and you have certainly heeded its message! Good night, and good luck.
-
Great video!
-
So did you keep it?:
-
Hey guys,
Yeah, I've kept the shaved head! Wow, thank you for all the positive responses! Really phenomenal! I'll post more about my experience later––I haven't posted since my initial post because of Thanksgiving and seeing family.
-b
-
Ben, I truly enjoyed reading your story and watching your video. I thought everything was very well put together. The slick dome looks good and you and you will be an inspiration to those on the fence. So congratulations on the look and stick with it.
-
Hey guys,
Yeah, I've kept the shaved head! Wow, thank you for all the positive responses! Really phenomenal! I'll post more about my experience later––I haven't posted since my initial post because of Thanksgiving and seeing family.
-b
... and family seeing you?
-
Hahaha, yeah! I didn't shave for a day or so so that my family could adjust. Most of them were like, okay, whatever. My mother used it as a vehicle to launch into a rant about how I must grow it back "You'll never date a woman again if you don't" etc etc, but I just kind of shrugged it off. Apart from my Mom, my family has always been very accepting!
-
Mothers are usually the most resistant. Now would be a good time to grow a beard. She'll hate that, too. Might as well get it all over with at once. ;)
-
Mothers have difficulty seeing their children as anything other than little kids, no matter how old they are. Her fear that you'll never meet a women because you have a shaved head is irrational, but that's the way mothers are.
-
Hahaha indeed! I'm really not worried on the dating front––I broke up with my ex a few weeks ago, and I've dated many girls before that in my thick hair/thinning hair stages...my logic is that if you cultivate an attractive attitude to women (or dudes, if that's your ballpark) then you're attractive no matter the state of your hair, provided you don't do the comb over!
-
Indeed Ben, the personality is much more important than the looks.
Like I've said before, it's a keeper, looking good sly.
-
the personality is much more important than the looks.
Aint it the truth!
-
the personality is much more important than the looks.
Aint it the truth!
The whole truth and nothing but the truth!
-
the personality is much more important than the looks.
Aint it the truth!
The whole truth and nothing but the truth!
So help me God
-
G'Day Ben mate O0,
Awesome video, truly entertaining.
Thanks for sharing your story and thoughts.
-
Welcome!!
Great intro, I agree with everything you said there.
Bald fits you ;)
-
Ben, awesome story and video! Thanks for posting this. I think it can be an inspiration for many. O0
Great look on you btw!
Oh, and I kinda wished that you had somehow been able to have a hidden camera recording your Mom's reaction when you walked out into the room she was in. -lol. (I'm glad you were able to be yourself and not let her guilt you into doing what she wanted... Mom's have a way with doing that). ;)
-
Awesome! I think you rock it.
My own mother and girlfriend was shocked at first but thank God I had plenty of relatives with comeovers and peach fuzz on there heads to say.... Do you really think that looks good? (point point) ==> :*)) <==(point point) That was the end of that.
So it was quick and painless for me. My Dad. Laughed at first but all has been good since. :)
Time.
-
Hahaha indeed! I'm really not worried on the dating front––I broke up with my ex a few weeks ago, and I've dated many girls before that in my thick hair/thinning hair stages...my logic is that if you cultivate an attractive attitude to women (or dudes, if that's your ballpark) then you're attractive no matter the state of your hair, provided you don't do the comb over!
Oh yes, for sure. While I'm sure appearance is a factor at some level, women are far more attracted by personality than anything else. If I were a woman; appearance wise, I'd much rather be with someone who shaved their head than one that tried to hide hair loss.