Sly Bald Guys Forum
Confidence and Success => Relationships/Dating => Topic started by: beanerdawg on May 06, 2012, 11:05:10 AM
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So, I'm 26 and in the last 6 months noticed my rapidly thinning hair. Others haven't noticed yet (that I know of) but at the rate I'm losing it, it seems like it's only a matter of weeks/months.
Also, in this time I started a long distance relationship with this amazing girl.(Met in person through mutual friends) We talk daily, but we only get to see each other every 4-6 weeks, but hopefully within the next 12-18 months she will be moving my way.
The issue is now that I'm losing my hair she knows me as the guy with hair and isn't with me day to day getting used to the gradual transformation of losing hair.
I'm thinking within the next 4-6 months I'm going to have to buzz it down to the skin. My biggest fear is that this will scare her away from me. Do I bring up casually what she would think if I buzzed my hair? Do I do it when I visit her or she visits me, so she can see it as it happens and not be so shocked by it????? :-\
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She should be looking at your characters as points that matter in life. Hair is external.
Going bald is just normal part of life. Should not make a difference. The are some very handsome men out there (on here on SBG) that are bald or shave their heads.
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U should tell her what u told us, if she stops liking you cuz of your hairloss, then she isn't worth your time.
Those who matter.... don't mind, those who mind...don't matter.
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Those who matter.... don't mind, those who mind...don't matter.
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^^^^ so true... If she truly likes you for who you are vs. what is on your head (or lack there of) then this is a none issue... If the opposite is true, then cut your loses...
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If she's going to dump you because of your hair, thank your lucky stars that you'll find out that she wasn't really all that into you to begin with before too much longer passes.
If, on the other hand, it's really you she wants, your hair should be irrelevant.
A significant percentage of the male population experiences hair loss. So there's no "why me?" about it. No need to feel singled out.
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U should tell her what u told us, if she stops liking you cuz of your hairloss, then she isn't worth your time.
Those who matter.... don't mind, those who mind...don't matter.
Do what tg has said its good advice
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I echo what the rest f the guys said. If she REALLY is amazing, she won't care about the hair.
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So I asked her what she thought about me buzzing it down and she said she likes that look...Now I'm thinning along the temples and generally all-over. Whats a good length to minimize the appearance of thinning? No guard, or #1? How often should I buzz...
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The best way to minimize the look of thinning would be to go all the way bald...
Sounds like your making choices based on what she wants, which in the long term isnt gonna benefit your or anyone at that. Do YOU.
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The best way to minimize the look of thinning would be to go all the way bald...
Sounds like your making choices based on what she wants, which in the long term isnt gonna benefit your or anyone at that. Do YOU.
Amen!
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The best way to minimize the look of thinning would be to go all the way bald...
Sounds like your making choices based on what she wants, which in the long term isnt gonna benefit your or anyone at that. Do YOU.
Amen!
I second that!
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I... third it! In the end, no matter how amazing she is, and how much you care about her, it's you that lives in that melon 24/7, and so it's you you gets to choose the decor! She's said she likes the look, so take that as it comes, you're free to do it and experience the freedom that comes with it. O0 Good luck!
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Honesty is a starting point , tell her ,
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Here's my thoughts...
I wouldn't tell her, I'd just do it!
And then don't make such a big deal of it... when she comments, just say something like, "I just fancied a change,"
By asking her it shows to her that you can't make your own decisions... by just doing it you reveal yourself as strong and confident man! She will find this far more attractive...
Balding is just nature. Bald is a choice.
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I understand your situation all too well my friend. I was in a similar situation about five years ago. I met a nice woman in a myspace chat room. I made her laugh with a few jokes. She invited me to chat privately a few minutes later. After chatting in private for a few minutes we exchanged phone numbers. She told me that she was going to call me right away. Sure enough, less than a minute later the phone rang. It was her and we talked for well over two hours. She was a very kind and sweet woman. We had a very pleasant conversation. I established a good rapport with her. She told me that I was very intelligent and had a great personality. I felt the same way about her and told her so.
She called me almost everyday during the following week. We spoke at length each time she called. The calls lasted an hour or two. We talked about everything from politics to sex. Yes, I even managed to get her to talk about sex. I was able to earn her trust. She felt relaxed and at ease when she spoke to me. She also told me that I had a soothing voice and how she loved to hear me speak. She even talked about coming to visit me. Yes, everything seemed to be going well. That is until she asked me to email her a photo of myself. I had already told her that I was bald. She told me that it did not matter to her. That all seemed to change after I sent her a photo. She called me the next day to tell me that she was no longer interested in me. She gave me the "let's just be friends" talk. I thanked her for giving me a chance, even though she really didn't. I also wished her well. I don't harbor any anger or bad feelings toward her. You can't make someone fall in love with you. It either happens or it doesn't. I will tell you this, it really hurt. Not just my pride, but also my heart. :'(
The moral of the story is simple. Women do care about hair, even if they tell you otherwise. We all know that women never say what they really mean. They speak using a coded language that only other women can understand. From my perspective you have two options. Save up some money for prostitutes or prepare for a life of celibacy. b@n*
Good luck my friend. You are going to need it. !*!rat3
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What utter crap. As pointed out in your other post, you are blaming all of your ills on your hair loss. That's really convenient as you can just give up and not have to do anything to better yourself or your life. I hope you can overcome your defeatist attitude, but please don't try to convince others to just give up. Please seek the help that you need.
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She won`t even notice your head once you say , Hi ! " My name is beanerdawg " . .
@n(
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Women want a confident man who is sure in himself. Most don't care much about looks (as long as you are well groomed). Stop wondering what she thinks, and do what you think is right for yourself. Don't ask her opinion; don't ask her what she thinks. Do you what YOU want, and don't make excuses.
At some point, when you are closer, you may feel compelled to tell her you shave your head because of MPB. These conversations are better held with close friends and/or a close spouse or girlfriend.
Carry your head high, smile, and appear confident. Fake it until you make it. Who cares what ONE woman thinks of you? There are hundreds of millions of women in the world, and hundreds of thousands near you.
Good luck...and post pictures of yourself if you can. Before and afters are great.
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What utter crap. As pointed out in your other post, you are blaming all of your ills on your hair loss. That's really convenient as you can just give up and not have to do anything to better yourself or your life. I hope you can overcome your defeatist attitude, but please don't try to convince others to just give up. Please seek the help that you need.
It should also be pointed out that it was convenient for that woman to lose interest in me after viewing my photo. But who's keeping score? ::) I can tell you for certain that it was my baldness that caused her to lose interest. She really liked me. She told me so. She still does. We are still friends. She likes me as a friend. She just finds me physically repulsive. That's why it will never go beyond friendship. She is not the only woman who thinks that way. Most women are like that even if they don't admit to it. Facts are facts. Hair matters to most women. I'm speaking from experience. ::)
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Dude....That may be true that there are women that find baldness repulsive....and too bad it's their loss; they may be missing out on good men who just happen to be lacking in the hair department. Let's look at the other side of the coin. Let's say there's a forum called "Sly Fat Gals". There may be women on that forum who, for whatever reason, can't get to that "Size 2" or that 36-24-36 that so many men want....but they still find men who love them for them and they feel good about themselves. I have walked the aisle three times (first marriage annulled) all with plus-sized women. I married them because of what I thought was in their heart, not because of their figure...and they married me for the same reason, not because of what was on my head at the time. I know you're going to say "Yeah, but your marriages didn't last". True, but my wives have never had an issue with my baldness, in fact my second wife has shaved my head a few times when I got lazy. This last wife who I divorced in March, we split up not because of my baldness, but let's just say we both had some stuff that's too far to get into on this forum. That said, I am now dating a very nice 32 year old lady who happens to have short hair by choice. She enjoys my company and she has even said that bald men (partial or complete) attract her because her father is bald, but she loved his confidence. The right woman is there for you, but it's up to you to present yourself in a positive light. Don't let a few shallow women or hair deter you from finding what's out there....and by the way this post, in a way is for both Beanerdawg and Baron (inadveretently). Lastly, not to be blunt here, but with an attitude like that I can see why women avoid you two. Women want a man who feels good and confident about himself regardless of what outsiders think of him, and the both of you need to find a way to do that somehow....keeping you both in my prayers and wishing you both the best, but I have a head to shave. Peace!
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I understand your situation all too well my friend. I was in a similar situation about five years ago. I met a nice woman in a myspace chat room. I made her laugh with a few jokes. She invited me to chat privately a few minutes later. After chatting in private for a few minutes we exchanged phone numbers. She told me that she was going to call me right away. Sure enough, less than a minute later the phone rang. It was her and we talked for well over two hours. She was a very kind and sweet woman. We had a very pleasant conversation. I established a good rapport with her. She told me that I was very intelligent and had a great personality. I felt the same way about her and told her so.
She called me almost everyday during the following week. We spoke at length each time she called. The calls lasted an hour or two. We talked about everything from politics to sex. Yes, I even managed to get her to talk about sex. I was able to earn her trust. She felt relaxed and at ease when she spoke to me. She also told me that I had a soothing voice and how she loved to hear me speak. She even talked about coming to visit me. Yes, everything seemed to be going well. That is until she asked me to email her a photo of myself. I had already told her that I was bald. She told me that it did not matter to her. That all seemed to change after I sent her a photo. She called me the next day to tell me that she was no longer interested in me. She gave me the "let's just be friends" talk. I thanked her for giving me a chance, even though she really didn't. I also wished her well. I don't harbor any anger or bad feelings toward her. You can't make someone fall in love with you. It either happens or it doesn't. I will tell you this, it really hurt. Not just my pride, but also my heart. :'(
The moral of the story is simple. Women do care about hair, even if they tell you otherwise. We all know that women never say what they really mean. They speak using a coded language that only other women can understand. From my perspective you have two options. Save up some money for prostitutes or prepare for a life of celibacy. b@n*
Good luck my friend. You are going to need it. !*!rat3
In all fairness how do you know it was the baldness? It could of been a number of things about your photo. I.e you just wasn't her type, physically.
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Baron, if you think you know 'most' women, and what they are thinking, then you truly are deluding yourself, if any one of us truly knew, I'm sure that person would be very rich right now. The view that you see if what you are projecting on to them, if you see a bald ugly dude, then no matter how good a person she is, or how much she may actually like you, it'll be hard for her to see past your gigantic screen of insecurity.
I agree with Mahaw, how do you know it was the baldness? Because it bothers you so much, you ASSUME, that the baldness was her reason, what if she just wasn't into you, if she's not feeling it then she's not feeling it, you can't manufacture physical attraction.
If anything, the overwhelming reports from guys here on the site, have been that, female attraction and interest have increased, so take a long hard look in the mirror, stop lying to yourself, and please try and work out what is truly holding you back. We all want the best for you, but it is clear by the way you are talking, that you are unwilling to give reality a chance, just try living outside that beautifully bald head of yours for a while for a while.
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I suspect it wasn't the baldness -- unless he has a combover, which is always repulsive -- but the "woe is me" look on the face.
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Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus and we just co-exist here on Earth. Never ever think that you have them figured out.
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Facts are facts. Hair matters to most women. I'm speaking from experience. ::)
That's a pretty hard sell for 99% of the guys who are sly and are sly to handle mpb--never found it to be true. If all they're interested in is your hair, chase someone other than a hairdresser!
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Facts are facts. Hair matters to most women. I'm speaking from experience. ::)
That's a pretty hard sell for 99% of the guys who are sly and are sly to handle mpb--never found it to be true. If all they're interested in is your hair, chase someone other than a hairdresser!
Agreed. Look at all the bald men at this world. Then look at the women they are with. I see plenty of attractive women with bald men all the time. It is about your CONFIDENCE. Women care about personality above all else.
Baron, most of us can relate as to what you are going through. But having hair or being bald does not attract a woman on its own, and I don't believe hair or lack of matters to most women. What does matter is your confidence/self esteem, personality, and being well groomed. Being well groomed means if you have hair, having a nice hair cut and styling. If you don't have hair shaving it (or whatever works for you), shaving your face, etc. Being well groomed means looking the best you can look with what you've got.
And always remember, not every woman will be attracted to you no matter how you look or if you have hair. Just as some men are attracted to a certain woman and and aren't attracted to others; the same applies to men.
Why don't you post a pic of yourself...hopefully before and after you shaved and let us be the judge. If your'e losing your hair, I bet you will look better bald. To the OP and Baron: what you think of yourself matters above all else of what others think of you. If you think and act like you are attractive, you will be attractive to women. And also remember you cannot win them all, some women will like you and some women won't. It's the way of the world. Men who are incredibly successful with women face a lot of rejection. I have had my fair share of rejection. You know what? Once you've been rejected a 100 times the next 100 don't really matter. And, lastly, women reject men for all sorts of reasons, but women normally reject men because of a reason not related to the man (she might be in a relationship, seeing someone, married, in a bad mood, etc.). I highly recommend picking up a book or two on confidnece and dating/relationships.
This girl I'm dating told me that I would look weird WITH HAIR because I've been bald for so long. She doesn't want me to grow it out. And she's incredibly attractive. And I'm not the best looking guy in the neighborhood. So how's that for a no-hair experience? :)
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Baron, I'm not celibate or paying for prostitutes, instead i'm married to a wonderful, caring, funny, beautiful woman. She seems to be looking past my bald head because I don't let the bald head define me. I am not just a bald head, but so much more. Based on your posts here, I suspect you let your bald head define you. It doesn't have to be that way.
I only hope the OP doesn't fall into the same trap of self-pity that you have.
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Thank heavens I am not looking for a mate as a married man. However, if I were single again, and I met a lady, the first thing that she must accept is my bald head, as much as she must accept the many other flaws in my physical appearance. I would have no issues being bald and trying to court a woman as "this is me and this is the package you get!" Like it or leave it!
Its so true, if you feel good about yourself and you are confident, this shines through to woman. We must start to "feel good" even with the cards that we were dealt with in life.
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Interesting to see my post get a lot of attention these past few days.
Things didn't work out between us. (Hair had nothing to do with it.)
That said, I started an online dating profile and am having 0 luck. It's kind of disheartening. Especially when I'm sending out emails to girls that physically aren't my type, but sound really cool and I'm still not getting any sort of responses. I have literally sent out 40 emails and have only heard back from 1 person. :-\
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Got a link to your online profile, and copy of the emails you're sending them?
I strongly suggest reading several dating books (and confidence books) if you can. With the dating thing, don't take everything they say as a rule, but they are very good at teaching begginers the ropes.
Neil strauss is short, bald, and marginally ugly (his words, lol) and great with women. Pick up a book called the Game and start reading...
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I'd rather not link my specific profile... ;)
Generally my first email is very casual. Asking a simple 1-2 questions referencing something in their profile...the lack of response must simply be a physical attraction thing...
Here's an example email...
Hey Danielle!
I grew up in the ####, but now live on the ####. I never realized how hot the #### was until I moved over the hill. I love to get out and go hiking. Have you ever hiked ####?
-######
Seems pretty simple enough, right? ???
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I think you're just shotgunning emails out and seeing who responds. Can post your profile text, at least? We're trying to help you out.
I would write a more thoughtful email...something that at least takes a little effort. At the end...perhaps ask them out for a drink / coffee etc.
What dating website are you using? I've found them all to be different as far as types of people you can meet, age group of women, etc.
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Everything I have heard says to not ask them out in the first email. Most say keep it less than 6 sentences...
Match.com
"My closest friends would probably describe me as loyal, fun, adventurous.
I was born and raised in ######. and have spent a good part of my 20's focusing solely on my career. While I am having a great time with my career, I feel like I have reached a point where it would be even more fun to have someone to share these experiences with.
Some of the things that I enjoy are traveling-I have traveled around the world quite a bit. I try to visit at least one new country a year. Last year was Cambodia. Traveling is one of my greatest passions and fortunately for me my job allows me to do this. I truly believe getting out of your comfort zone and experiencing new sights, sounds, and cultures is one of the best things you can do for yourself.
Cooking. No one has ever complained about my Chicken Picatta.
My dog. By far the greatest dog ever.
Trying new things...I'm the type of person that orders the strangest dish at a restaurant just to say I've tried it. Live octopus anyone? You only live once!
I wouldn't say that I have a set type of girl I'm looking for. Most importantly they should be kind, have values, open to adventures, and knows or has an idea on what she wants in life"
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Thanks...Match.com is something I would recommend.
The way your description is written seems a little dull. While YOU don't seem dull, I think you could spice it up a little bit. I would also leave out the part where you say "It would even be more fun to have someone to share these experiences with." It sounds needy. I would say something like, "I have very limited time, so I am selective on who I choose to go out with. I really enjoy life, and the only thing really missing is someone to share my life with."
Can you post the photos you have on Match as well?
Also, if you have reached out to 40 women, and only one has responded, don't you think it's time to change your strategy? They are on Match to BE ASKED OUT! Try it. If that doesn't work try a different way of approaching them.
This is just my opinion, and is meant to help you. I'm not an expert. :)
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Thanks for the advice. I don't disagree that the description sounds dull. I'm much better in person...
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I agree with Jason in some ways but not in others. I agree that your profile doesn't sell you as well as it could, now that isn't to say that it needs a complete overhaul, you should like a good honest dude who likes adventure, which is great, but just spice it up a little.
I don't agree with Jason's wording, saying that you are very selective doesn't have positive connotations to me, perhaps just saying you've reached the next stage in your life, or are now ready for the next big adventure.
Also, you sound like a cool guy, real live dating may sometimes be brutal, but it still really is the best way, so don't focus all your efforts online. And remember not to be disheartened by people not getting back to you, it only takes one!
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Beanerdawg
Try to just chat in general via email or PM's on the various dating sites you frequent, without trying to "sell" yourself or even remotely indicating that you are looking for female company. A woman will pick up if you are sending out a vibe that you want to "date". By casually exchanging "e-conversation" you and her will get a "feel" for each other, and then things may blossom from there, or they may not. Then you move on to the next one. A "secret" is to be more interested in her than trying to "sell" yourself. Women want to be "listened" to and loved, never try to "understand" them, because you and I will never!
Don’t give up, don’t think you are failing; there is a partner for everyone in this life, whether you are thin, fat, handsome, ugly, rich, poor, or bald...
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Interesting to see my post get a lot of attention these past few days.
Things didn't work out between us. (Hair had nothing to do with it.)
That said, I started an online dating profile and am having 0 luck. It's kind of disheartening. Especially when I'm sending out emails to girls that physically aren't my type, but sound really cool and I'm still not getting any sort of responses. I have literally sent out 40 emails and have only heard back from 1 person. :-\
Hello again beanerdawg,
Sorry to hear that things didn't work out between you and your lady friend. I was hoping to be proven wrong. It would have given us both a lot of hope. Many of the other members of this site have posted about their pretty wives or girlfriends. I have no reason to doubt the validity of their claims. However, I do believe that it's fair to say that many other men are not in that position. Many of them are bald, short, poor, etc.
It appears that I am the only other man here who is in your situation. That makes me the only man here who understands your problem. So I am going to give you some friendly advice. First of all, disregard my first post. It was an over generalization. It is true for some men, but not all men. You were able to get and hold a woman's interest for more than a brief moment. That means that you have potential. The road to love may not be easy for you. It can be a long and challenging road for many people, bald or not. For bald men like ourselves it can be even more of a challenge.
The second piece of advice would be to avoid trendy bars or night clubs. The women who go to places like that tend to be shallow and elitist. Some of those places would turn you away at the front door. Most of us already know about the rope line and the social politics that control who gets inside. If you want to meet women out in public a neighborhood bar or cafe would be a better choice. I have heard that book stores, supermarkets or public parks are also good hunting grounds if you are looking to bag a babe. Yes, men are natural hunters. We are expected by society to hunt for what we want or need. Most women want to be pursued. They love the way it feels to be wanted and desired by men. They also find it exciting to be actively pursued or "chased" by men. They want men to come and get them.
If you are too shy to approach a woman in public, there is the internet. I don't know what dating site you just joined. However, I would strongly recommend eHarmony. I tried a lot of dating sites over the years. I can honestly tell you that eHarmoney yielded the best results. I was unemployed at the time and too self conscious to post a photo on my profile. Even with those two strikes against me I was still able to peak a few women's interest. I would have stayed with the site, but I could not afford to stay. I'm thinking about going back now that I'm financially able to do so.
There are several reasons why eHarmony works better for men like us. The main reason is that the site has the highest female to male ratio, 58% female 42% male. Most dating sites have a higher percentage of men. Unlike most dating sites, there is no search feature. You can't look for other members of the site. The site selects matches for you based on your personality and criteria that you request such as age or race. Then the matches are sent to you. If you or the woman are not interested in the match, you can choose to "close it". You receive a few matches every day or so, it varies. I got some pretty good matches from the site. If anything, I thought that most of the women were too good for me. This site is perfect for shy people because it eliminates the dilemma of who makes the first move. And since there is no search feature, it cuts down on the number of shallow people on the site. The members are looking for a soul mate, not a hot date. So if you are looking for a long term relationship, this would be your best bet online. It's like an online match making service. It's also much cheaper than a regular match maker.
One last piece of advice. I would avoid the free dating sites. The people on those sites tend to be flakes and not serious about looking for a real relationship. There are also a lot of scam artists on those sites. The class of people on those sites is generally not good. They are free sites and you usually get what you pay for, nothing. Sure, you can meet a nice person on a free site. It's just not very likely.
Good Luck! :)
The Baron
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Hi Baron,
it's nice to see you posting positively and giving some advice. Please don't feel that you are the only one in this situation, believe me, most, if not all of us have been there at some point, hell I was obese, went through years and years of depression, and had the self esteem of a dead goldfish; but this is the journey that we call life, we may seem irrelevant to the situation, but we are all offering our honest advice based on how we got to this point. We believe in both you guys even if you don't, and all it takes is a little faith, and good helping of self-belief. I know it isn't easy, and it's hard to maintain hope, but in the end, there will always be those who will love you, you just need to let them. Peace guys, look after yourselves and have faith.
All the best,
Matt
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Well stated Matt.
We all have our individual journeys - some are direct to the destination, and others include lots of side trips which may test our patience but may also provide some extraordinary opportunities for personal growth, life experiences, and possibly meeting someone! It is as adventuresome as we choose to make it.
Best thoughts to all in their travels.
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Hi Baron,
it's nice to see you posting positively and giving some advice. Please don't feel that you are the only one in this situation, believe me, most, if not all of us have been there at some point, hell I was obese, went through years and years of depression, and had the self esteem of a dead goldfish; but this is the journey that we call life, we may seem irrelevant to the situation, but we are all offering our honest advice based on how we got to this point. We believe in both you guys even if you don't, and all it takes is a little faith, and good helping of self-belief. I know it isn't easy, and it's hard to maintain hope, but in the end, there will always be those who will love you, you just need to let them. Peace guys, look after yourselves and have faith.
All the best,
Matt
Thanks Matt, :)
I appreciate the emotional support. I'm sure that beanerdawg feels the same way. I think that he will be fine. He has one thing working in his favor that I don't. That one thing is time. Unlike myself beanerdawg is still a young man. At 26 years old he still has plenty of time to find a mate. I think it might be too late for me. Dating is a young person's game.
There is one more thing that I forget to tell you beanerdawg. Women on dating sites typically get more emails than men. How much more? A lot more. So many in fact that some women can't keep up with all of them. It's common for women to not read most of their messages. They simply don't have the time. Many of the emails are deleted without so much as a glance. Your messages are most likely getting lost in the inbox clutter. All the more reason to join a site with more women than men. It will improve your chances greatly.
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Baron, I'm glad that your stance has softened somewhat.....I just got divorced at the end of March and in May at the Bowling Alley I met a nice young lady that's about eight years younger than me....(I just turned 40 a little more than a week ago.). We have common interests and I really enjoy her company. For now we are friends because we both just got out of marriages that we would soon like to forget, that said, while it's okay to have standards, you have to keep them at a happy medium. If you're too hard, you end up lonely for a long time, if you're too easy, well you could end up with the wrong person. I will keep both of you, beanerdawg and Baron, in my prayers that you can conquer the mountain of love...but you have to conquer the mountain of self confidence, and looks like you both are heading in that direction. Good luck!
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I'm with Jason on this. Being selective is a good thing.
Does she want to be with someone who'll go out with anyone, or does she want to be with someone who has standards?
And to be a little controversial... I truly don't feel that being bald is an issue with regard to dating!
You're bald! You look great!
What's more important is that you're confident, genuine, strong (internally) and congruent.
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This is getting old. I have had about 5 or 6 responses. I send a second email and don't hear back. I don't come across as overly aggressive or creepy.(I asked a female friend of mine) One girl and I IM'ed back and forth for an hour, exchanged FB profiles and I gave her my cell#. Haven't heard from her. I must be more hideous than I thought....
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EAT SOME STRAWBERRIES ! O0
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beaner ... you seem impatient (which I understand) but that can be a bit off-putting to a girl. It was just four days ago that you wrote "things didn't work out" with the gal. You'd not mentioned anything a few days before, so I'm assuming the break happened in that time - so about a week ago.
You may unintentionally be broadcasting "desperation" which can be intimidating. Are you content just going out on your own and enjoying being amongst people but not necessary with someone? I'd say that's the first step ... because if you are totally at ease being by yourself you will demonstrate confidence which is probably the most attractive characteristic in a person.
Just my two cents, and it's worth what you paid :-)
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Are you content just going out on your own and enjoying being amongst people but not necessary with someone? I'd say that's the first step ... because if you are totally at ease being by yourself you will demonstrate confidence which is probably the most attractive characteristic in a person.
Someone buy this man a beer! Sage advice.
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beaner ... you seem impatient (which I understand) but that can be a bit off-putting to a girl. It was just four days ago that you wrote "things didn't work out" with the gal. You'd not mentioned anything a few days before, so I'm assuming the break happened in that time - so about a week ago.
You may unintentionally be broadcasting "desperation" which can be intimidating. Are you content just going out on your own and enjoying being amongst people but not necessary with someone? I'd say that's the first step ... because if you are totally at ease being by yourself you will demonstrate confidence which is probably the most attractive characteristic in a person.
Just my two cents, and it's worth what you paid :-)
We actually broke up about 2 months ago. I sort of took a month to get my thoughts straight and then I decided recently to give this a try. I'm almost positive I'm not giving off desperate vibes...I've consulted with a few different people and have been follow their advice.
Just seems frustrating as the only issue that I can see is a physical attraction based on photos. Oh well...I guess I'll try sending out another 75+emails.
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Someone buy this man a beer! Sage advice.
Thanks ... now, all the Sly guys belly up to the bar!
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@Frontierguy, excellent advice; "Give that man a Bells!"
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This is getting old. I have had about 5 or 6 responses. I send a second email and don't hear back. I don't come across as overly aggressive or creepy.(I asked a female friend of mine) One girl and I IM'ed back and forth for an hour, exchanged FB profiles and I gave her my cell#. Haven't heard from her. I must be more hideous than I thought....
Hello again beanerdawg,
I understand your frustration and emotional distress. The dating world can be very challenging. It can try your patience and test your faith in humanity. It can even effect your mental and physical health if you allow it. It's important to maintain perspective. Don't allow yourself to go on an emotional roller coaster. If you do, you will become a prisoner of your own mind. Trust me, I'm speaking from experience. Don't allow your mind to go to that dark place. There is hope for you my friend. :)
I don't think that you are coming across as creepy or overly aggressive. I also don't think that you appear desperate. It's possible, but not likely. I believe your problem has a lot to do with your age. Women in your age range are always in great demand. These young ladies have a much larger pool of men to choose from. For that reason, they can be more selective than their male counterparts. The playing field for dating is not a level one. Women tend to hold most of the cards. However, things tend to shift later in life. After about 30 years old the field starts to level. I'm not telling you that you have to wait until you are 30. I'm just letting you know that the situation does improve over time.
Here is my advice, maintain perspective. Remember that these ladies have many more options than you. Don't get hung up on one woman until you know that she is serious and sincere. Keep trying, don't give up on the process. Love is well worth the effort. You may get a lot of nos, but you only need one yes. You are a hunter. Stay in the hunt until you bag yourself a babe. She is out there and she wants you to come get her.
Take care buddy O0
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So...the ex wants me back. :-\