Sly Bald Guys Forum

Discussions About Being Bald => To be or not be...Bald => Topic started by: Crofax on April 21, 2012, 04:50:23 PM

Title: On the fence because of my wife
Post by: Crofax on April 21, 2012, 04:50:23 PM
Just wanted to say hi and ask for some advice! I am 35 years old and have really started receding in the past few years, it used to bother me (a little) as I have a youthful face and you can’t avoid the fact that you look older with receding hair! Personally I have gone through phases of shaving (using clippers either #1 or no guard) since I was about 16 so I was not that bothered by my impeding follicle defeat, it only started to irk when I realised that I was trimming it out of necessity rather than choice! But what ya gonna do?

I now have very thin hair on top, the receding hairline is stable but the top is too thin to grow out without it looking wrong, so I keep it trimmed with clippers and no guard. I will prefix this by saying that I am a confident fella, yes I am balding but I think I look good with it trimmed right back! A bit of facial stubble and paying attention to my dress sense ensures that I am still regularly on the receiving end of smiles and backward glances from the opposite sex =)

I have been debating about getting the razor out for a few months now, this forum is a great resource for practical advice, the only reason why I have not done it is that my wife is adamant that she prefers me with at least "some" hair, I tried to explain that if that is the case we are both in trouble because nature will rob her of that in just a few years but she really does not like the idea!

I know it will look good, I am one of those annoying people that can pull of any look =) But I do care about my wife’s opinion, has anyone got any experience of dealing with reluctant spouses?
Title: Re: On the fence because of my wife
Post by: Mikekoz13 on April 21, 2012, 05:44:25 PM
A lot of the guys on here have had this issue with their significant others.

The bottom line is that you need to do whatever will make you happy..... of course within the limits of your marriage vows.  :)

Since you have so little hair anyway... I say just shave it one day. Once she rubs that smooth new scalp she will like it..... and dude you will look good shaved.
Title: Re: On the fence because of my wife
Post by: marty22 on April 21, 2012, 06:12:16 PM
shave it!
Title: Re: On the fence because of my wife
Post by: stasiu on April 21, 2012, 06:34:43 PM
Welcome to SBG !  I agree with Mikekoz13. 

You can pull any look and maybe your wife is afraid you will become a shaved head magnet to other ladies.  You just have to convince her in your special way that she always has first and exclusive rubs  :@`
Title: Re: On the fence because of my wife
Post by: nuts on April 21, 2012, 07:04:57 PM
I was much older than you when I shaved my head - was 63 - and my wife was not keen at first with the new look.  It only took a few weeks before she accepted that I wasn't going to grow it back and now she wouldn't have it any other way. 
Title: Re: On the fence because of my wife
Post by: TheSlyBear on April 21, 2012, 07:15:22 PM
I'm sure she consults you when she gets a haircut, no?

 8)
Title: Re: On the fence because of my wife
Post by: Razor X on April 21, 2012, 07:34:31 PM
It's not going to look much different than it does now. Maybe you can shave it twice a week and let the stubble grow back in between as a compromise?  It might be a way of easing into the sly look.  Once she sees that it's not a drastic change she might acquiesce.

Title: Re: On the fence because of my wife
Post by: BaldHDbiker on April 21, 2012, 08:32:05 PM
Shave. It's your head and you need to be comfortable. My wife wasn't very excited about me shaving but has been coming around.
Title: Re: On the fence because of my wife
Post by: mrzed on April 21, 2012, 08:52:37 PM
I'm bald by choice, so I have not no good reason to shave my head (of necessity). I just do it 'cause I like it.  Wife was not cool with it at first, but at 3 months, she's getting used to it and no longer fussing about it.

Title: Re: On the fence because of my wife
Post by: marshd1000 on April 21, 2012, 09:34:51 PM
For years I tried to convince the associate pastor of my old church to shave his head.  He did not do a combover as he combed his hair back but it was quite see thorough.  He had told me that his wife did not want him to.  But finally, one day I got a email from him with a pic of him totally sly.  He totally was suited for the look and now his wife likes it.  But if you did shave, it grows back to a crewcut in about a couple of weeks.  So you really should at least try it!
Title: Re: On the fence because of my wife
Post by: Lynchy on April 21, 2012, 10:26:09 PM
If you want to you should just do it!

I'm sure she will understand if you explain that you wish to try it!

Goodluck!
Title: Re: On the fence because of my wife
Post by: Paul the Headblader on April 22, 2012, 12:24:55 AM
Uwm!
If she loves you, she'll be ok with it.
Title: Re: On the fence because of my wife
Post by: Crofax on April 22, 2012, 03:11:17 AM
I'm sure she consults you when she gets a haircut, no?

Fair point! I think it is down to social etiquette, women can change their hair style and colour at a whim but men feel a need to consult their wife's before making a change which is actually more out of need than a colour and cut! But in saying that we all want to feel attractive to those we love so their opinion does matter. I was just discussing this very topic with her while she was using her hair straighteners (the irony!) and her view was "in a few years you wont have a choice but now you do, and I prefer it as it is now". I wont change her mind, and I know she will get used to it the choice I have now is do I respect her wishes or do I do what I want.

What I might do is shave it with no guard then take it back even further with my beard trimmer, gradually bring it in :)
Title: Re: On the fence because of my wife
Post by: Crofax on April 22, 2012, 03:57:01 AM
Took it back with my beard trimmer. See what she has to say about that  O0
Title: Re: On the fence because of my wife
Post by: Slyfive on April 22, 2012, 04:03:35 AM
Looks great! Mine wasn't keen but now she LOVES it and wouldn't want the hair back.
Title: Re: On the fence because of my wife
Post by: Crofax on April 22, 2012, 04:26:47 AM
Yes I love it :) It is a bit of a cop out, there is noticeable stubble that does not show up in that picture but it is about as short as you can get without foam and a razor. I need a tan :)
Title: Re: On the fence because of my wife
Post by: Lynchy on April 22, 2012, 05:02:33 AM
Looks great! Really suits you!

Hopefully the boss comes around  :*))
Title: Re: On the fence because of my wife
Post by: buddha on April 22, 2012, 07:46:33 AM
My wife was literally shocked by the look when I first did it. She has grown into it, though. She has her days when she would like to see me in the old ponytail down to my shoulders but those days are gone.
You know, we have had some posts in here about guys who are on the fence about shaving their headsbecause the significant other says she will hate it. Then they continue to advise us about some of the other things going on in their lives (cheating and STDs and marriage falling apart pops into my head). So if shaving your head is the worst violation of the sacred marriage vows that you are ever guilty of your wife needs to count her blessings. The message is shave your head and be a good MAN and a good husband. And pray that you get a divorce judge who is sly.
And don't EVER say something like "honey, would you be happier if you found out that I was cheating on you?" because that will open the floodgates to an endless ocean of $h!t!
I wrote this whole men's rights rant, then I thought better of it and I deleted it. Just remember what TheSlyBear said about being consulted about her hairstyle.
Title: Re: On the fence because of my wife
Post by: BaldHDbiker on April 22, 2012, 09:06:10 AM
It looks good. Let us know how the wife likes it.
Title: Re: On the fence because of my wife
Post by: D.A.L.U.I. on April 22, 2012, 09:38:41 AM
Took it back with my beard trimmer. See what she has to say about that  O0
Looks good, maybe she has a feeling she can't accept that it looks so good that other ladies might think so too and make a move on you >:D.  Nothing like a little competition to keep her on her toes. 
Title: Re: Re: On the fence because of my wife
Post by: RoWilJr on April 22, 2012, 09:42:55 AM
Looking great! Welcome.
Title: Re: On the fence because of my wife
Post by: jimbo48 on April 22, 2012, 10:02:39 AM
Shave your head and stick with it.  It took my wife over a year to get used to my shaved head and finally stop commenting on it.
Title: Re: On the fence because of my wife
Post by: schro on April 22, 2012, 10:35:16 AM
The Lovely Mrs. Schro still doesn't like it, but accepts it. Plus, she knows my shaving the dome provides relief from an itchy scalp condition. Just stay strong in your conviction. Once she realizes you like it, she'll leave you be.

Good luck.
Title: Re: On the fence because of my wife
Post by: buddha on April 22, 2012, 11:01:50 AM
Something just occurred to me. I know that there are things that I enjoy that I don't do and I say that it's just easier to keep the peace at home if I don't do them. In this way I'm saying that my wife would be antagonistic toward these things. But the truth, as usual, is much harder to admit. That's because it's due to my own insecurity that I don't do these things. True enough, my wife might not like them but if they harm no one and bring me peace or joy or even just contentment I should just do them. So I can't blame my wife for stopping me from anything, I can't say that I don't do something or I'm on the fence because of my wife. I am making a conscious decision and I have to also take the responsibility for those decisions.

Just something to think about.
Title: Re: On the fence because of my wife
Post by: Baldstu on April 22, 2012, 11:35:39 AM
This is a clear case ofclinging to the past , we are all changing , nothing is permanent , including the effectsof mpb , i say be pragmatic , respect your wife by suggesting a trial completely sly as you dont feel comfortable withyourappearance  and say a month of sly bald and then review
Title: Re: On the fence because of my wife
Post by: balddaniel on April 22, 2012, 01:02:06 PM
You already look pretty bald in the picture, so shave it your wife will understand.  Besides she loves you no matter if you have stuble or smooth.
Title: Re: On the fence because of my wife
Post by: mrzed on April 22, 2012, 01:32:23 PM
Well, your recent photo looks sly already. About the only difference between what you have now and true sly is not the look, but the feel.

Shaved smooth is an incredible feel ... nothing like buzzed no guard. There is always this sandpaper feel with clippers. With shaving you can get a super smooth and slick head. Feels great to massage. Whether you rub your own head or your wife rubs your head.  Either way, freshly shaved feels excellent.  

But shaved or a tight buzz look almost the same. You're almost there.

Oh, and the time difference between shaved and back to what you have now is just a few days, so if you have to, it's just a matter of days to revert. (But you won't want to).
Title: Re: On the fence because of my wife
Post by: Sir Harry on April 23, 2012, 02:12:40 AM
Welcome aboard! I'm sure the Mrs. will eventually relent.....
Title: Re: On the fence because of my wife
Post by: kalbo on April 23, 2012, 08:44:04 PM
Welcome to the bald brotherhood. You look great bald. Enjoy the awesome feeling of being bald. Your Mrs will get to love it soon.
Title: Re: On the fence because of my wife
Post by: zzaapp on May 02, 2012, 10:01:20 PM
My DW (Dear Wife) started giving me haircuts when the barber shop hit $10 (that was a while ago, wasn't it?).  The hair started slowly getting shorter and shorter until she surprised me, and instead of the usual tapered cut buzzed it with no guard.  I told her several times after that, that she should just finish it off and shave it, but she said that it would be too radical. 

When I finally took matters into my own hands and shaved it, she was not pleased at all.   It took all of about 20 minutes for her to come back and admit that it didn't look "that bad".  That was her last negative comment.  Since then, if I get lazy and miss a couple days, she is the one who tells me, "You really need to shave your head."
Title: Re: On the fence because of my wife
Post by: R o b 6 on May 03, 2012, 06:23:52 AM
...and her view was "in a few years you wont have a choice but now you do, and I prefer it as it is now".

Look at it this way. She has a point...you do have a choice now, considering how short it already is. So using her logic, your "choice" would be to grow it back for three or five days after going slick sly. Not a huge risk and you'll likely enjoy the results, and maybe she will too.

Another idea: ask her to help you with the head shave!