Sly Bald Guys Forum
Discussions About Being Bald => Reactions to being Bald => Topic started by: timtak on September 27, 2011, 10:13:06 PM
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Here in Japan there are a lot of adverts for wigs and weaves as well as various types of hair growth potions. They are on TV every day using some of the most famous Japanese celebrities. Sometimes they are on every few minutes. Many of them promote the idea that to be bald is depressing/unhealthy/ugly and that to be hairy is to be the opposite, healthy, vigorous, healthy and handsome.
Sometimes there are adverts which show celebrities colsoling bald people, telling them that they need not be embarrassed (?!@#) and that there is a "solution".
Is there any research on the way that such commercials affect viewers perceptions of bald people? E.g. Experimental procedure, show one group of people a TV programme with commericals non-related to baldness, and another a TV programme with commercials related to baldness and then ask subjects perceptions of a bald confederate such as "Is he happy, handsome, trustworthy." I am willing to bet that on average the commercials are likely to result in less favourable impressions towards bald people even among bald people themselves.
How for exampe is my son going to feel? Is he going to spend loads of money on that wig/weave?
Anti-bald products may be aruged to be selling themselves by attacking bald people's self esteem. Is that okay? Is it? I am not sure. Compare weight loss products. Do they sell themselves in the same way? What if there were skin whitening products sold in the same way? Are there? Is there, should there be, any activism to have anti-bald hate propaganda banned or controlled?
Perhaps it is up to bald people to produce commericals that put the opposite point of view?
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Some cultures around the world boggle the minds of other cultures. This seems to be one of those cases.
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I always love the 'Bosley' commercials, they say something along the lines of "There is now a cure for balding" or "Now you have a choice when it comes to balding" and things like that. Many of the friends/family I am around see the commercial come on and think its hilarious that people pay so much money to just slow down whats happening anyway, why not just shave it off and 'Beat balding" and embrace it.
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I seriously believe that, "bald by choice" has become very popular in the US. Maybe not so in other American countries except Canada, perhaps. I see many men on the streets, celebs and musicians lookin' clean...more and more all the time. What y'all think?
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Although I would not consider spending one red cent on rugs, plugs, or drugs I actually found myself shaking my head about this topic. I understand that some people probably hate the way my shiny bald dome looks and they probably call me names and bad mouth me behind my back. But is it "hate speech"? I think that's a stretch.
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Although I would not consider spending one red cent on rugs, plugs, or drugs I actually found myself shaking my head about this topic. I understand that some people probably hate the way my shiny bald dome looks and they probably call me names and bad mouth me behind my back. But is it "hate speech"? I think that's a stretch.
I could not agree more.
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Is there, should there be, any activism to have anti-bald hate propaganda banned or controlled?
Oh please... ::)
I dont know what its like in Japan, but I couldnt give a flying sideways copulation whether someone likes my head (or not) or what they say behind my back. If I can laugh at Donald Trump's hair, why cant he laugh at my invisible hair?
The only thing that matters to me, when it comes to my shiny head, is whether me myself and I likes it or not. I do. So do me and myself. End of story.
Anti-bald hate propaganda?? lol.
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Thanks for the replies. I did not have the notification on so I did not notice at first.
hate speech" is going too far, true (I have removed it). But then, there are various levels. What I am trying to say is, something that has been said a lot before; even here people do find it difficult to shave their heads, and some members do find commericials a downer, and or admit of their influence.
pdxtodd writes (http://www.slybaldguys.com/smf/index.php?topic=13358.msg218196#msg218196) Its the same as hair replacement systems -- they prey on the vulnerable. They take your money. They pump your head full of ideas that "this will look so natural". Their TV commercials show women hanging all over these guys. They're slick snake oil salesmen. They know how to get to us. I was had.
Ghost1988 writes (http://www.slybaldguys.com/smf/index.php?topic=8679.msg151453#msg151453) i hate those commercials. when i see them i get pissed off and change the channel cuz they bum me out.
Marz writes (http://www.slybaldguys.com/smf/index.php?topic=6363.msg109080#msg109080) on the subject of Commericals
-Play off a mans insecurities when he realizes he is loosing his hair.
-Remind this person repeatedly that girls only like guys with hair, even if it is fake.
-Really drill home the point that he will be a social paraiah if he allows his MPB to develop naturally.
-Assure them that the expense of a "system" is worth it and it looks real.
-Once it is on and the MPB continues, they are locked in to it. If they didnt want to be bald in the first place, removing it after they are more bald will be even harder.
Now seriously, this sounds like a tobacco company strategy.
Brkeatr writes (http://www.slybaldguys.com/smf/index.php?topic=8679.msg151461#msg151461) It also peeves me when they say that all men look better with hair etc.
SlicEric writes (http://www.slybaldguys.com/smf/index.php?topic=5576.msg95190#msg95190) When those lame commercials from the Bosley Institute come on, I hit the remote and do a fast forward. It's a crime that they target the insecurities of balding men.
Babybudda writes (http://www.slybaldguys.com/smf/index.php?topic=12371.msg204591#msg204591) I was liberated from those dam commercials telling me I was losing my youth my power my you name it.
Baldconfidence writes (http://www.slybaldguys.com/smf/index.php?topic=10676.msg181334#msg181334) Its very refreshing to hear this side of the issue after being fed negative comments not just from friends and family, but even things like hair loss commercials that make it seem like a disease or something.
bem75 writes (http://www.slybaldguys.com/smf/index.php?topic=11305.msg190237#msg190237) I saw one of the *** commercials the other day and I wanted to throw something at the TV. I'd love to have a SBG commercial that aired right after the HCM and told guys that it was okay to be bald. Basically the opposite of those ridiculous *** commercials.
Tyler writes off this forum (http://www.helium.com/items/100895-why-men-should-not-fear-balding)One of the other reasons men fear balding is all the hair restoration commercials and ads that are shown these days. All these ads portray a man as being lonely, unsuccessful, and desperate as a bald man. But the second he gets his hair restoration he gets that date he was looking for, has a huge smile on his face, and is driving that dream car. These ads want to strike fear in a man so he goes out and gives the advertiser thousands of dollars.
buddha (who though he expresses disagreement above) writes (http://www.slybaldguys.com/smf/index.php?topic=9742.msg168390#msg168390) I am tired of being insulted, and I mute commercials.
It seems to me that the influence of the media is largely unconscious. There is research on this. People swear blind that they have not been influenced by commercials but there is a multi-billion dollar commercial industry for one reason: they work. And if it were so easy to ignore the anti-bald-ism, from commercials and society at large, why does this site exists?
Racism occurs and people of non-white races may find it difficult to get employment, married, memberships, and speech that encourages such racism is called hate speech. It is against the law in many countries. But it seems to me that being "prematurely" (?) bald may also result, to a lesser extent to reduced employment and marriage prospects, partly becaues of the "hate"(negativity) being put out by the media. This effects bald people themselves, especially if the person in question does not have the presence of mind or support, of the members here, and if affects perceptions of bald guys in society at large. The average (non bald) viewer has nothing invested in the issue, so will be morelikely to take the commericials at their '(lying) word and think "Oh yeah, it must be awful".
At the very least a lot of these commercials are ******* rude, disgustingly rude, and I think that they should be told. I'd like to see some activism! I'd even pay :-) I'd like to see a commercial starring Vin Diesel or Bruce Willis telling the makers of such 'propaganda' that they are money-grabbing rude bastards, that put people down to make a buck. It is a given, but it needs to be said, far and wide: shmucks that make money out of making people ashamed of their nature are the ones that should be truly and publicly shamed. Or better still, it should stop.
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At the very least a lot of these commercials are ******* rude, disgustingly rude
Yeah and there are plenty of more important issues in the world to deal with. Something like this is way down the line IMO. Any time someone is hurt or upset, its important, no matter what the hurt and upset is about, but in the grand scheme of things, if we have time to campaign etc etc etc, then there are bigger and more crucial things happening in the world to campaign about.
If someone laughing at my bald head and talking about it behind my back is the worst thing that ever happens to me, I'll be a very happy guy.
If I were to get upset or take offense at every bald joke, every 'he has a very hairy chest' joke, every 'facial hair is SO 80's' jibe, every 'he has a few extra pounds' comment, then I'd just be a quivering wreck. If people dont like the way I look, tough titty. I like it. Thats what matters. We can all be the subject of put-downs and ridicule, because there will always be a differing point of view to our own. But you need to choose your battles carefully, and preferably in order of importance.
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"If someone laughing at by bald head and talking about it behind my back is the worst thing that ever happens to me, I'll be a very happy guy."
Very true.
To be honest I am not involved in any activism. Perhaps you are busy choosing other battles, but my for my sins, I am not.
I think that most people here on this forum are largely over the bald-thing, emotionally at least. It is not really for me that I was thinking of being "active." I started shaving my head about 20 years ago. But there there are a lot of people who are not over it, that are being fleeced by wig/weave makers, that loose sleep, that are stressed, that are suffering. People don't pay that much money unless they are suffering. One can't but suffer with one of those wig things on.
(I have known at least one guy whose life was thrown upside down by balding. In his twenties he felt that he could not get a job because of anti-balding prejudice and that he had to emigrate temporarily and come back with a weave, such was the prejudice that he felt existed against the bald. Perhaps there are other threads listing such horror stories.)
I choose battles that are close to home, even if they are not the most important. Perhaps I should campaign for racial equality, but somehow it seems like it is not my fight. Baldness and people making out that is very negative is my fight. It is not so much of a deal for me, and for that reason, I can speak about it, bring up this topic, say that it hurts me a bit, and others a lot.
I think that a lot of us here on these forums, fought our way through this by telling ourselves it does not matter. And hey, we found that it did not matter nearly so much. We got though it and out clean the other side. But taking a step back...being real, being honest, I am still upset with the negativity that I see on TV, and I know that there are a hell of a lot of other people, including one day perhaps my son that will be taken in by it. I am not saying it is really horrible. But it is still I believe it may be deserving of reproach.
I write a few posts here. I'd donate some money if there were a place to donate to. I'd sign a petition.
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You're certainly not wrong for feeling passionate about it. Being passionate about anything is great, as long as the passion is properly channeled.
From my own point of view (and this is purely a personal position), there are terrible atrocities happening in Africa. There are people starving on the streets, not only in far-away lands, but on our very own city streets (and I'm talking about my city streets, your city streets, and every city street in between). There's AIDS awareness. Poverty. Combatting Malaria. Chlamydia. Taxation. Music piracy. Somalian piracy. The list goes on and on and on and on and on.
This is a forum for bald guys, whether we're BBC or MPB or whatever. So you're quite right to vent your thoughts and feelings and anger here, there's no question about that. This is the best place.
But to change a culture, or a thought process, is not something you can do with a few tv commercials and a propaganda campaign. Its great you want to, its great you're passionate about it, and I'm not belittling that at all, and I'm certainly not belittling anyone with a hair loss issue so upsetting that its damaging their lives (even though I dont fully understand it).
But I do think there are bigger battles to be battled, and bigger dragons to be slayed. Your passion is admirable, but Im sure that if you look within 1 square mile of your own home, you'll find even bigger dragons, and ones which you'd probably slay very well indeed, and they could well be ones that make a big impact on things.
From my own viewpoint, I like being bald. I wouldnt have it any other way. I'm completely BBC. I choose to be bald, even though the rest of my body is like King Kong. If anyone wants to laugh at me, they can go right ahead. They can sit there laughing until the end of time if they want to, and while they do, I focus my energies into Oxfam (one of the UK's leading charities), because I think it makes a difference.
Again, I'm not saying 'you're wrong'. I'm just suggesting you choose your battles carefully, because some are important and can be won, and some are less so and never will be won.
:@`
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I choose this battle :@`
First of all, are all these commercials hate speech? What ist he definition of "hate speech" and how is it different?
To what extent would people hate bald anyway, even if there were no commercials?
[My view - balding associated with aging. Personally I would not be bald if I could have a lot of hair. I bump my head. I need sun cream and or hats. On the other hand, balding may also be a sign of testosterone which may be a good thing. All in all, balding is not nearly, not 5% as bad as it is made out to be. It is not the sort of thing that should make anyone suffer, methinks, but in part it is made into horror quite deliberately by people making a lot of money out of it. ]
To what extent the commercials propogating negative views of baldness among the bald and the non-bald?
How might this be measured?
What is the history of baldness? How bad was balding in the past? On the Bosely web site there is a political pundit who claims that hairier presidential candidate has won in presidential elections for the past 50 years. Has balding got worse and is there any correlation between increasingly negative valuations and the bald-bashing industry?
In what other ways are the media controlling, and damning, the publich image of baldness? It seems to me that in a hell of a lot of Hollywood movies and dramas baddies are bald. In who-dunnit type situations it is often a good bet assume that the bald guy did it. There are exceptions of course, but is there research? Racial minorities do research on the way that they are portrayed in the media. Black guys are now used as police chiefs and science technicians in a lot of movies and conversely movies that use black guys as villians are difficult to make. Is this a good thing?
What sort of suffering is going on? Where can I read about it? Sleeplessness? Health issues? Suicide even?
There was a guy in Japan recently that went berserk and killed a lot of people with a knife. He did it because, he said on his blog, he was lonely and could not get a girlfriend, because he was so ugly. Looking at his photo, the only thing that might be said to be 'ugly' about him was that he, at about 23, had a receding hairline. Desperate men do desperate things. Is there any other evidence of the bald being driven to act anti-socially?
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There was a guy in Japan recently that went berserk and killed a lot of people with a knife. He did it because, he said on his blog, he was lonely and could not get a girlfriend, because he was so ugly. Looking at his photo, the only thing that might be said to be 'ugly' about him was that he, at about 23, had a receding hairline. Desperate men do desperate things. Is there any other evidence of the bald being driven to act anti-socially?
'Other' evidence? In the example you've given, you havent even said the media or other people thought he was ugly because of baldness. Where is the evidence, let alone the 'other' evidence? You said he himself thought he was ugly (which he's entitled to do, and which he'd probably do with or without the help of the media), and that the only thing that might be said to be 'ugly' about him was that had a receeding hairline. If you, the CEO of Bald Men Are Hard Done By Inc (Asia Division) says that, then are you the right man to be the champion? :o Someone else might have said 'the only thing that might be said to be 'ugly' about him is that he had a peculiar nose/was 3 oz overweight. Why do you assume that people are going to think bald head = ugly??
If there are people in the world that are capable of 'hating' bald people, then no amount of tv advertising, propaganda, newspaper advertisements or protests are going to change them, because to 'hate' someone purely on their look means the 'hater' has a psychiatric problem.
On the Bosely web site there is a political pundit who claims that hairier presidential candidate has won in presidential elections for the past 50 years
Who cares? Whether they have hair or not, whatever country they happen to be presiding over, they've all done a sh*tty job time and time again. Plus, given the law of averages, and the fact that most men in the world have hair, is it surprising that the hairier candidate has won? Margaret Thatcher had plenty of hair and she f**ked the population of the UK over several times. IMO, neither Bush (junior) or Obama are/were God's gift to the world, but they both have hair. Winston Churchill, on the other hand, was a great leader and he had a head like a white tangerine.
To what extent the commercials propogating negative views of baldness among the bald and the non-bald?
I dont think I've ever yet - and I've lived here over 30 years - seen a tv commercial here about baldness, or wigs, or 'systems', or Bosley (which I'd never even heard of until I joined this group). So maybe your issue is with the Japanese culture?
What sort of suffering is going on? Where can I read about it? Sleeplessness? Health issues? Suicide even?
I dont know, but if it is, then the person doing the suffering needs to seek some advice, because something as superficial as hair (or lack thereof) should not be causing such angst, just as the person who 'hates' people because they're bald shouldnt be 'hating' so much.
Japan has gone through some serious suffering this year. There are former Japanese people floating around in the Pacific as we speak, and they'll never be found. Some of them are on the seabed. Some of them are inside the stomachs of fish. For those people, game over. Nothing makes any difference to them anymore.
However, for the ones they left behind - the grieving families and friends and colleagues - they are the ones going through real suffering. Ask any of them whether they'd vote for a man with hair as opposed to a man with no hair, and they'd tell you they couldnt give a sh1t. The absolutely HUGE vast majority of the world couldn't give a sh1t about whether a man is bald or not, because it makes no difference.
For the small tiny teensy weensy unimportant minority, if you want to fight the good fight, you're welcome to, obviously. Im pleased you have time and money to do so. Im envious. But I cant imagine many people picking up a banner or hiring airtime on NHK / NBC / BBC / CBC to promote the wonders of baldness, because there are people that like what they like, and others that dont like what they dont like, and you or me or him over there, we're not going to change anyone's mind.
There's a man on this very site - and I would imagine he'll know who he is - who I think is probably one of the most handsome men I've seen in my nearly 50 years on this green and luscious planet. Yet he's not confident about his looks. Does it revolve around his lack of hair? I think it possibly does, or at least part of it is because of his baldness.
I myself went through a few years of insecurity about my looks. It had nothing to do with hair, it just had a lot to do with looking like a middle-aged bruiser.
I know another guy who has more hair than he knows what to do with. He looks (to me) utterly ridiculous, but he thinks he's the dog's bollocks (meaning: perfect).
We - the human race - need to work on our own issues before we can convince anyone else to change theirs. Your guy that killed himself, he killed himself for more reasons than 'I couldnt get a girlfriend because I'm ugly', I can assure you. There isnt a person alive who doesnt have an issue or two, but before we can change the world's opinions, we need to work on our own.
Ergo, choose your battles carefully.
/signing out.
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buddha (who though he expresses disagreement above) writes (http://www.slybaldguys.com/smf/index.php?topic=9742.msg168390#msg168390) I am tired of being insulted, and I mute commercials.
OK, there is a concept that we call "taking things out of context" and that is just what you have done here. True enough the Hair Club and Bosley commercials are insulting insofar as they prey upon men's fear and insecurity. As if men don't have enough $h!t to worry about nowadays. But I'm thinking that my point in the thread that you quoted was that most, if not all, commercials are insulting. And you left out the part of me getting tired of watching the news because it is something I find insulting. That was a general statement about the news, not just the part of the news where they rant about all of us bald guys and the effect we have on global warming.
I also find commercials from Toyota insulting as well as commercials for Viagra where a bunch of guys are sitting in a bar jamming out a tune about erections (or the lack thereof). In fact all pharmaceutical commercials are insulting and beyond that are nothing more than a tool for that segment of the medical community that are nothing more than legalized pill pushers. And they are partly the reason that prescription drug prices are as ridiculous as they are. You name a product that airs commercials on TV and I've probably felt insulted by one of them. So to use the above quote as a way to show that I am somehow waiting in the wings to get out on the street with a picket sign about "no more hate speech about bald guys" is an indication to me that somebody needs to get a hobby that doesn't involve the computer.
I have a friend who picks up causes the way a vacuum cleaner picks up dust bunnies. Every time somebody looks to her like an oppressed minority she gets ready to ride into battle. She gives dirty looks to people who drive SUVs because they use so much gas and are damaging Mother Earth. And she is one of the most nervous and least happy people I have ever known. If she asked my opinion I would paraphrase a line from my all time favorite movie "Fight Club": You have got to develop the ability to let that which does not matter truly slide. And this cause, in my opinion, does not matter.
The reason it does not matter is simple. I CHOOSE to be bald. Oh, I could let my hair grow out. It's real thin on top and I think it would look bad so I shave my head. But beyond that I guess I have developed the ability to let the things that do not matter truly slide, like when some idiot makes a comment in public about some old guy with a shaved head. It's a sticks and stones vs. the spoken word problem, Timtak. It means nothing. The time I will get concerned is when the loudmouth walks over and sets a hand on me. Then I have a decision to make. And, to be honest, no one has ever said anything I could hear that was anything close to hate speech about my shiny melon, let alone laid hands on me about it. But if that day comes I'll deal with it the best I can.
As far as "hate speech" is concerned the best definition I have heard is the one that described it as what used to be called "fightn' words". I don't know if I'm ready to fight over someone's opinion of my scraped dome, probably because of my fear of getting my a$$ kicked.
Now, all that being said, I will sleep better knowing that there do exist in this mean world people who ARE willing to pick up causes and ride into battle. Keep pushin' on, brother.
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First of all I am sorry I quoted Buddha out of context (or would it be more correct to say misquoted?). Perhaps I need more time to pursue my hobby, so that I can make sure that I don't make the same mistake again. I will be more careful. Please accept my sincere apology.
And I like GSGUK's new photo. The post though...Thanks GSGUK but...I don't understand why you are so active about being inactive :-) I am from the UK where I don't think I saw a wig/weave/potion advert either. I found that the UK was a nice place to be bald.
As Buddha says, one can choose to be bald. I do. I first shaved my head in my 20s. Often I just let my self be pateless, bald-on-top. I gave myself a good shave before making my photo here. I am 46 now so being bald becomes par for the course. Generally I have other things to worry about and being bald does not occur to me, or it is a hell of a long way down the list.
But what does occur to me is other people's suffering. People talk about it. Or rather often they can't talk about it. People have, from my point of view, amzing comb overs, amazingly obvious weaves and skull paint. Occasionally people tell me how much it hurts them. I mean really - adult men in real pain.
And every day on the television there are adverts telling people that they should be worried, anxious, unable to talk about it. Showing people just managing to talk about it, while people, terribly concerned, express their support. Its okay you can talk about it. You DON'T NEED TO BE CONCERNED. They say. They show how depressed we are while we are bald and how happy, popular and successful we are with the weave.
There is so much suffering going on, and there are people and making money out of it.
My son, like me, is fairly likely to be balding in his 20's.
I have been thinking about this sort of action for a long time. I joke about forming a baldies association. But then I found one here on this web site. It is a shame though that the baldies association has different interests to me. I am not sure what this association is here for.
I found this association from a comment on a youtube video wwhere one sly guy recommended this forum as a place to get support, where he himself got support, and the courage to go sly. Perhaps everyone is still hurting so much that they want to tell everyone how cool their dome looks, and how cool they are about this issue, how it does not matter to them. Perhaps everyone is in so much pain that they can not address this issue for to do so would require that members admit that the issue is painful.
So perhaps we should forget it? Forget that we, or at least our sons, are being encouragd to think of ourselves in a negative way.
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Nobody here is hurting. :/O
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Yes, but there's an awful lot of suffering going on in the world, and a huge amount of it is a far worse and much deeper type of suffering than hair loss, and with much of that suffering, someone somewhere is making plenty of money out of it.
Perhaps everyone is in so much pain that they can not address this issue for to do
so would require that members admit that the issue is painful.
Well I cant speak for anyone else, but I'm not in any pain. I have a full head of hair, if and when I choose to let it grow. This doesnt mean I dont sympathise with those who ARE in pain, but as I've said until I'm blue in the face, I can sympathise but I cant comprehend, because I'm not suffering from their pain. However, one thing I do know is that if I were suffering from that kind of pain - ie, the pain of hair loss - and then someone knocked on my door and told me a nuclear bomb was on its way here from North Korea, or that my best friend had just been hit by a bus and killed, or that a 6 metre wave was about to hit my house and sweep 250,000 of my neighbours (and possibly myself) out to sea, the hair loss pain would be WAY down the line in my 'list of top 10 pains'.
As I said before, its great you're so enthused about the whole thing, but I just feel there are bigger issues where your enthusiasm could be made better use of, particularly as you live in Japan, which is dealing with far bigger issues than hair loss, or the side issues surrounding it.
I think sometimes we just need to be grown men and start prioritizing the issues we have in our lives, and the issues we tackle. If I were to tell you right now that I dont like your glasses, would you then go into an 'OMG, I'm being picked on and I'm the subject of anti-glasses hate speech' rant?
The point of this site, and this forum, is for conversation, chat and support for anyone with a 'bald' issue, whether the issue is positive or negative, and that includes you. My own feeling is that you're taking the whole thing a little far. Its up to you if you want to do that, obviously, but my own feeling is that its a little pointless to zoom in on one issue - hair loss - in such a deep way when there are far bigger issues out there to tackle, including those on your very doorstep. This isnt to belittle anyone dealing with the trauma of hairloss - because I know from many posts on this board that a lot of guys really do suffer - but even they would agree that there are bigger issues going on in the world.
As for your own son, you have no idea whether he'll be bald or not, or whether he'll enjoy being bald or not. My father was totally bald, yet I have a full head of hair. Nothing in life is guaranteed except death and taxes, and you should let your son deal with his own issues (or even non-issues) if and when the time comes, and be there to support him at that time. From what I saw in the picture you had in your profile, he's only about 3. Let him enjoy his childhood before you start to obsess over something that may never happen when he's 23, because you obsessing is likely to make him obsess, once he's old enough to know what daddy is obsessing about.
And I'm pleased you like my picture, thank you :) I'm not from the UK though. I live in the UK, but I'm not from it.
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The point of this site, and this forum, is for conversation, chat and support for anyone with a 'bald' issue, whether the issue is positive or negative, and that includes you. My own feeling is that you're taking the whole thing a little far. Its up to you if you want to do that, obviously, but my own feeling is that its a little pointless to zoom in on one issue - hair loss - in such a deep way when there are far bigger issues out there to tackle, including those on your very doorstep. This isnt to belittle anyone dealing with the trauma of hairloss - because I know from many posts on this board that a lot of guys really do suffer - but even they would agree that there are bigger issues going on in the world.
And aside from that, it is customary upon joining to introduce oneself to the group before asking everyone to join in on some crusade.
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As far as any misquoting/taking out of context you, brother, are forgiven. I don't really take offense to that but, like others have said, spare me the crusade. From the beginnings of my hair loss going bald was never a big issue. In my intro I wrote about having hair down to my shoulder blades one day and making a decision to shave my skull so that the very next day my dome was slick and smooth. That transition never bothered me.
I know that suffering is different for every person. We also have issues that each of us is passionate about. I applaud your passion about this topic even though I don't happen to see the connection between hair loss and hate speech. I probably have causes and issues that not many people in the forum would agree with. But they're my causes and I feel no real need to seek out support for my beliefs.
All that being said I offer my apology for my comment about spending too much time on the computer. Welcome to the forum!
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"Nobody here is hurting"
That is just so wrong! For a start there is me, a bit, when I am watching those damn commercials at least:-) I am doing a search of these forums for the word "sleep," to see if folks loose sleep over being bald or balding.
Not all the following quotes mention sleep but they do mention hurt. I am sure I could find lots more if I searched on other keywords.
william writes (http://www.slybaldguys.com/smf/index.php?topic=6573.msg112511#msg112511)
now I can sleep without worrying about how my hair will be when I wake up in the morning.
dodger writes (http://www.slybaldguys.com/smf/index.php?topic=14046.msg227201#msg227201)
When I think back on the lost sleep and tension on introducing the new me, I laugh about it.
cursedforlife writes (http://www.slybaldguys.com/smf/index.php?topic=13793.msg224795#msg224795)
I made a thread on here a while back expressing my concern about being a young bald guy and the way people react towards/treat you...people on this site aren't willing to acknowledge that in some cases an extreme bias exists towards bald people and that it can have a huge affect on your life.
Jazz writes (http://www.slybaldguys.com/smf/index.php?topic=13001.msg213138#msg213138) My hair line was high and my hair so thin. It sounds a bit pathetic but there were nights when i was crying myself to sleep about it....losing your hair so young is the hardest thing ive ever faced. Will stick around because i know there are more young guys out there like me that feel like its the end of the world and i definately want to give any advice i can to help.
Nik writes (http://www.slybaldguys.com/smf/index.php?topic=14505.msg231537#msg231537) Last night was also the first night in 3 months that I've been able to sleep properly. Can't say I'm not stressing over it but I am starting to come to terms with the fact that this is the only route for me moving forward.
Razorx writes (http://www.slybaldguys.com/smf/index.php?topic=6240.msg106459#msg106459) I just couldn't stand it anymore and knew I'd never get to sleep unless I was completely bald again.
Jack21 writes (http://www.slybaldguys.com/smf/index.php?topic=13932.msg226188#msg226188)its just awful that we are so strongly conditioned to loathe our own baldness that some men go their whole lives trapped under a rug. And Jack21's whole thread Just took the plunge after 10 years of living a lie (http://www.slybaldguys.com/smf/index.php?topic=13793.0) is moving.
Junglephone writes (http://www.slybaldguys.com/smf/index.php?topic=13689.msg223142#msg223142) I didn't sleep for two nights.
Saintc writes (http://www.slybaldguys.com/smf/index.php?topic=13258.msg216661#msg216661) this really bugs me. (See the rest of the post where Saintc mentions panic)
Morphen writes (http://www.slybaldguys.com/smf/index.php?topic=12739.msg212222#msg212222) I remember when I had hair and it was falling out I would actually lose sleep because I was worried about how it looked and I would obsess over wanting to shave it but always being too scared to do it.
Sloppy101 writes writes (http://www.slybaldguys.com/smf/index.php?topic=10902.msg184597#msg184597) Ok so my problem is i am so scared to go bald. I have always had a good set of hair and i feel that is how people notice me as me. This may sound un realistic but i dont want to get a wife then i go bald and she ends up not liking me anymore. I figure i wont benoticeabley going bald until 25 but i cannot stop thinking about it. It is always on my mind. I cant sleep, i cant socialize normally, i just cant get past this.
Ben34 writes (http://) I couldn't sleep the night I buzzed my head, as I was anxious about the responses at work. ... On my bad days, my self esteem is rather destroyed.
Scott writes (http://www.slybaldguys.com/smf/index.php?topic=4241.msg71346#msg71346)The decision over whether or not to shave my head caused extreme stress and sleeplessness as I was gripped with fear ...I’m convinced that my apprehension to shave my head was a result of society’s perception of bald men. For years, modern media portrayed men as sexy and attractive only if they had a thick head of hair; whereas if they were bald, they must ride Harley’s or be troublemakers. I had watched numerous late-night infomercials from various companies touting their hair restoration miracles. It felt as if the companies knew I would be watching as they demonstrated just how lonely, unsuccessful, and desperate balding men are to the opposite sex. My self-esteem tumbled every time I witnessed one of those spectacles and I, like so many other men, felt so struck with fear that I would actually consider enduring painful hair restoration procedures or purchasing what were obviously quick-fix products.
Slowhand writes (http://www.slybaldguys.com/smf/index.php?topic=1169.msg17811#msg17811) since last night I've been so pumped for this I couldn't sleep! Seriously I'm so tired right now. But today at 12:30 the deed will be done, and now I know there will be no regrets!
If SBG wasen't around, I'm not sure if I wouldn've gone through with this. My friends don't seem to understand the delima of thinning hair...
There is lots of hurt, and there are people to blame (to an extent)
I will write a self introduction now.
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I think everybody has made their point.
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"I think everybody has made their point." !
I have not but, perhaps this means, "Shut up Tim, we all want to think that we, and everyone else, are happy, cool, and there is no real social stigma associated with being bald, sly or not."
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So Tom, about your library card... did you read all the books just once or were you a repeat reader?
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And there you go taking things out of context and misquoting people again.
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My name is Tim (Timothy Takemoto). My previous photo showed my daughter not my son:-) Here we are as family
http://www.flickr.com/photos/nihonbunka/6191134538/in/photostream
You are right that my son may not go bald but, both my father's line and my wifes father's lineage is bald. My dad occasionaly wears a wig
http://www.flickr.com/photos/gordonandgrizelda/3115999512/in/photostream
but generally not
http://www.flickr.com/photos/gordonandgrizelda/2842463519/in/photostream
and here is my grand daddy Roland (RIP) whom I admire
http://www.flickr.com/photos/gordonandgrizelda/2335791758/
And, I just realise, there is a photo of my great grandfather baldy too
http://www.flickr.com/photos/gordonandgrizelda/2340953944
I felt in myself from a very young age that I was born to be bald, that bald is me. Naturally. And naturally I feel that it is not right, not polite, to diss it, much anyway.
I am sorry if I have misquoted anyone. It took me a long time to assemble all those quotes. Perhaps I should have taken longer over it to be sure that I did not misquote. I did try.
What I wanted to demonstrate was that it is bs that there is no hurting. There is heaps of hurting. Masses and masses. Hundreds of thousands of sleeplesss nights.
And there is a billion dollar industry that may be promoting negative attitudes towards baldness. Ouch.
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So Tom, about your library card... did you read all the books just once or were you a repeat reader?
Certain books that I enjoyed very much I would go back and read many times Andy. Thanks for asking.
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So Tom, about your library card... did you read all the books just once or were you a repeat reader?
Certain books that I enjoyed very much I would go back and read many times Andy. Thanks for asking.
Oh its my ultimate pleasure. Thank you for thanking me.
I also often find that reading a book more than once can certainly stimulate far more than skimming the pages just once.
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So Tom, about your library card... did you read all the books just once or were you a repeat reader?
Certain books that I enjoyed very much I would go back and read many times Andy. Thanks for asking.
Oh its my ultimate pleasure. Thank you for thanking me.
I also often find that reading a book more than once can certainly stimulate far more than skimming the pages just once.
Buahahahahaha. Beautiful! O0
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Well, since there do not seem to be people that agree with me, I guess I am probably wrong. Drat. And I have been thinking about this for quite a while so the overall gist of what I am saying is not simply a quick mistake, it is something that I have thought lots about and still made a mistake.
I take buddha's point that all commercials are in a sense 'insulting.' Commericals are there to make us buy products, to make us feel that we need products, and perhaps it might be argued that they try and make us feel insecure if we do not have their products, or at least quite a lot of them do. I know a commercial for toilet air freshener. It seems to try and instill viewers with the feeling that they should worry about the smell of their faeces. Does this advert play on our insecurities? Is this anti-defecator propaganda?
Or again as GSGUK points out, no one gets upset (afaik) about any spectacle wearer propoganda. No one seems to be saying "Why are you pushing contacts?"
There are lots of commercials for anti wrinkle creams and potions. Some people pay lots of money to get their anti-wrinkle potions, but no one (afaik) has any issue with wrinkle cream commercials.
Perhaps this is simply my complexes talking. I do have a "complex" about being bald. I do still hurt a bit. I don't like being bald. I would rather have hair. So rather than chill, I am probably over-reacting towards commercials.
What don't I like about commercials?
Jack 21 wrote on that really interesting thread "You're only as sick as your secrets" (http://www.slybaldguys.com/smf/index.php?topic=13793.msg224904#msg224904). I really like that. It seems to me that if I can say something, if I can talk and share something, then I am okay whatever it is. And that is why this forum is so great it gives people the opportunity to talk about it.
The thing that I hate most about commericals, or the commercials I hate most, are those that promote the idea that we can not talk about our baldness, the commercials that tell bald and non-bald people alike "baldness is a secret,"or "Baldness is something that should not be spoken about." If they were just selling their pieces saying "You'Ll look much better in our wig" then I have not problem with that. But when commercials start to present the idea that a situation is so bad that one can not talk about it, then (even) I feel threatened.
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Perhaps this is simply my complexes talking. I do have a "complex" about being bald. I do still hurt a bit. I don't like being bald. I would rather have hair. So rather than chill, I am probably over-reacting towards commercials.
OK, I get it now. You, Timtak, still hurt a bit about being bald. So why not write about that and allow the people of the forum to offer you support and encouragement. What you've been doing, perhaps unknowingly, is rocking us back on our heels in a manner of speaking by shoving the crusade in our faces. If you're hurtin', brother, just say that you're hurtin'. It's gonna take a helluva lot more guts to be honest with us about what's really going on with you but I'm thinking that it will be a lot more rewarding because you will finally get that support you've been looking for. You can't get it while you're keeping us all at arm's length with all the other bull$h!t.
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Thanks for your email.
Well..........To be honest I am not entirely sure what is going on. It could be that I hurt and other people do not and that I need "support". It does not seem all that likely to me but I entertain it as a possibility.
On the other hand, where I am there are adverts almost every day telling other people at least it is unhappy, unhealthy, worrying to be bald. Even if this message does not affect me (and I think it likely that it does a little), it seems likely to affect people who are not bald, people who are not invested in the issue - they will be likely to take the adverts at face value. It seems to me that no man is an island, and so if people around me are persuaded that being bald is unhappy, unhealthy and worrying, then their impression of me is likely to rub off on me. So I am not sure how I might, how anyone, be devoid of hurt. That is my understanding of the situation.
Are you hurting? If not why not?
I do hurt, a bit. A lot of the time I forget about this issue. I have been bald for a long time and a lot of the time it slips from my mind. But perhaps because I have been thinking about it, due to posting on this forum, when I went into a large classroom recently and someone laughed. I wondered if that someone was laughing at my baldness, and that hurt a little.
Another thing is that I have for a long time found myself mentioning baldness a lot as if by referencing it I keep hold of the extent to which I do not like it. I don't like being bald much, about as much as I mind my wrinkles say. Both are pretty insignificant. By talking about baldness I think that I am attempting to keep sight of what I believe to be my (slightly negative) appraisal of my baldness, rather than acccept other appraisals which may (or may not) be as negative as portrayed in commercials. But perhaps that is another way of saying that I have a complex about being bald. Again, yes, I think I do have a complex; there is conflict in my mind (complex means conflicting appraisals), but again I am not sure how anyone could not have them, at least where I live, bearing in mind the media climate.
But people do here who are commenting on this thread not agree with me. there is some mis-match with reality going on, and it seems to be with me. I am seeing a problem that does not exist in several other people's minds. I do note though that there are some people here that provide a lot of support (such as your generous self), and but many other people who post far more infrequently saying things more in line with what I am saying and have quoted above.
I would like to hear from the silenty majority (?) Perhaps I should just reread what I have quoted above.
Tim
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But you're whittering away about crusades and commercials on a site which is designed to be a CELEBRATION of baldness. Most of us CHOOSE to be bald. You dont seem to understand that because you're upset about baldness, not everyone else is.
This site is not WOEISMEIMLOSINGMYHAIR.COM. Sure, there are plenty of guys here who are having some real issues with hair loss, and nobody is belittling their feelings, but the majority of us arent. Those of us that arent can hopefully help by offering support to those who are, you included. Some of the men on this site might not have originally chosen to be bald. Some of them were pushed in that direction by hair loss, but are now happy with their shaved heads. Some of us, like me, completely and totally and willingly and purposely CHOOSE to be bald. We're not hurting. We dont feel the pain. We can offer you tea and sympathy and a 'there there dear, everything will be fine', and we can be totally genuine about it, but to reiterate: the fact that YOU are in pain does not mean that I am also in pain, and that applies to the majority of the users of this site.
I'm not sure how clearly I can put this, so I'll do it in capital letters. I AM HAPPY BEING BALD. I DO NOT SUFFER FROM HAIR LOSS. I SHAVE MY HEAD TWICE A DAY BECAUSE I DONT WANT HAIR ON MY HEAD. IF I LET IT GROW, I HAVE A FULL HEAD OF HAIR.
As I said, this is a site which is designed to celebrate baldness. Most of us CHOOSE to be bald. The fact that you're hurting DOES NOT mean that everyone else is. While your own pain and upset might well be important, the fact you're in pain and hurting doesnt mean you can transfer it to the rest of us.
And you keep banging on about adverts (commercials), and thats obviously a cultural issue, because as you've mentioned yourself before, you havent seen any baldness/wig/'systems' commercials in the UK, so if its hurting you so much, then turn your tv off. Or watch BBC World. Or move to Kinshasa or Adelaide or Punta Arenas, or somewhere that doesnt have wig commercials.
You might not want to celebrate being bald, the way most of us want to celebrate it. You might want to talk about your own issues, your own hurt, and your own pain, and thats absolutely fine. There's nothing wrong with that, and nobody would belittle the feelings you or anyone else has about hair loss.
However, to come to this site, ranting and raving, and quite frankly, talking about a lot of crap, and furthermore to insult not only the users but the site itself, thats not the way to make friends, or to receive support.
There's a massive difference between intelligence and smartness. You obviously word your posts to sound intelligent, however I'd suggest inserting some of the latter, because to stop alienating the people you've already pissed off to a massive degree, thats what it'll take.
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Are you hurting? If not why not?
I'm not. My main reason for the lack of suffering is that I made the choice to do this and stick with it. Another is the fact that I just don't care what other people think of my "hairstyle". It is of little consequence. I feel like GSGUK said in his most recent post, that SBG is a celebration of baldness. Yet people who have issues or "complexes" about baldness come in from the cold, so to speak, and many receive support and encouragement in this place.
There have also been folks who come in and seem intent on upsetting the applecart and they sometimes have been communicated with in a less friendly manner.
I recommend letting your guard down and talking honestly about your pain. But the choice is yours.
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I don't know what to say. Being bald is okay. I think I am being open and unguarded. I thought that I was just calling an apple an apple, a dome a dome, nothing bad nothing good, but heavily derided by a billion dollar industry.
I am told that this site is a "celebration of being bald." I guess that means that it is not cool to talk abou the negatives of being bald. I don't see it as being particullary negative but saying even that I think it is a little bit worse than full hair is definately "upsetting the applecart" if one is meant to be "celebrating baldness". Having read more posts on the site I do see that there is a strong culture of celebrating baldness and expressing a preference for it, and people who don't particularly like it do not seem to be welcome (poor old yep yep).
I did not even mean to talk about the negatives of being bald (which I see as being very small), only the very strongly negative way that it is portrayed in the media. But to talk about negative portrayal is to cease celebrating, and suggest that forum members might care a hoot which in itself is negative or at least not positive.
Anyway, no one seems to be interested in the topic that I have raised and apparently I am offending people. So it is me that had better sign out.
Unless anyone else is interested in the issue, maybe some time in the future:-)
Cheers!
Tim
http://nihonbunka.com
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I wonder if his baldness had any impact upon Andreas Günter Lubitz's actions.
(https://www.slybaldguys.com/smf/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi.dailymail.co.uk%2Fi%2Fpix%2F2015%2F03%2F26%2F21%2F270353F100000578-3013473-image-a-10_1427404171615.jpg&hash=8a65ad8182d730c8df1ba2e8a4edc7c9d5b8d2a0)