Sly Bald Guys Forum
Discussions About Being Bald => 30 Day Rule / Beginners Section => Topic started by: JP1975 on September 20, 2011, 08:34:47 AM
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Hi,
I have seen most of the people I know and all reactions have been good. I enjoy the freedom from the hairpiece and the huge expense it was.
But I am starting to have doubts I made the wrong decision. I won't lie I miss having hair! I keep telling myself in a few weeks it won't be on my mind anymore but right now it's all I think about. I have even caught myself thinking about going back to a hairpiece.
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It takes some time to get used to (at least 30 days). Get out a piece of paper and write down all the reasons why you should go back to a hairpiece. Bet you won't be able to come up with any. You're enjoying freedom from the inconvienence and expense and the response from others has been positive, so why would you want to go back to living a lie?
It's normal to have doubts. Just persevere through the 30 day trial period and things will get better.
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Stick with it for 30 days and then make a decision. It's normal to have some doubts early on and think "what did I do?" If your experience is like mine, at about three weeks, you'll have a tough time remembering what you looked like with hair.
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You always have the freedom of choice but if you could just complete the 30day period, that would help you decide better which choice to make.
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Sorry to be blunt but (IMO) any bald head is better than any rug.
You look absolutely fine in your picture. I seriously cannot imagine you'd look any better with a hairpiece or whatever term you want to give it. At least with a buzzed or shaved head, people can see its real. With a rug, everyone can see its fake, no matter how expensive they are.
You look great to me.
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Why 30 days you ask? Well let's consider the facts:, started going bald at 18, wigged up at 23 then 13 years with the wig and regular and strong reinforcement from the wig vendor that this was for you as he stuffed your money in his pocket. You felt great leaving the shop, but over those thirteen years wearing someone's hair you rightfully began to revolt. But 13 years of brain washing from the rug merchant has an effect, really and it is natural. Now you're not only free of the wig, but dealing with embracing what you are and always will be sly bald or wigged--you're a bald man and that won't change. What can change is acceptance and that takes at least thirty days to progress from who's the dude in the mirror and lingering questions about being bald to knowing the guy in the mirror and beginning the process of accepting yourself as others are doing. Miss your hair? Well you started that process at 18, made a choice at the fork in the road, and now you're back learning to accept yourself as bald--and look around most of us have been there. At one point I really wished I had hair, and to some extent I think most guys with mpb did. But the reality will come, you'll learn that being bald doesn't have an effect on the guy you are at all. Wearing a wig, dealing with the worries of its position, condition and limitations effects who you are--you know that. Plus, I would bet that you'd get a big razz job if you put the topper back on and you'd feel silly too.
Keep the faith, it does get better, much better.
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I had serious doubts throuout my 30 days and now will NEVER go back to hair. You REALLY look good sly. Keep it ip and I have a strong feeling you will decide to stay sly.
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Welcome JP, in your avatar you look great not sure if its buzzed or shaved.But hang on till the 30 days are up you will find life a lot easier without the "door mat".
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One aspect of being sly or at most for me 1/16 of an inch in length, is that there are SO MANY sly or tight buzzed guys EVERYWHERE I go EVERY day. Here in Chicago I bet its about 30% of all guys between 18 and 50 now who are shaved or super tightly buzzed, many balding naturally and others with full heads of hair. The older guys, no offense to anyone, seem to cling to whats left of their hair as if were still 1970. (I NEVER see a guy under 75 wearing a unit any more at all).
You have a great contemporary look now with that tight buzz. If the hair loss bothers you then move up to a total head shave, if you have not already. You came this far not to shave it smooth before going back to "the system". I expect people respect you more for being honest and forthright with THEM than they did when you were trying to "lie" to them about having long, thick hair. That reflects so positively back to people that you are no longer "lying" with the fake hair and they will respect and admire you so much more for stopping all the lying. (My lie was transplants but it was still a lie. )
Enjoy the masculine look of a super tight buzz or go for the full headshave and notice how many others have done the same where ever you live. Know that many others have gone sly before you and made it easier for you so enjoy it, be confident because you sure do look confident now.
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Maybe I am the odd man out here on this 30 day thing. I took my hairpiece off, shaved my head and went for the 30 minute test. After 30 minutes I knew I had done the right thing. There's been a smile on my face since that date.
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Maybe I am the odd man out here on this 30 day thing. I took my hairpiece off, shaved my head and went for the 30 minute test. After 30 minutes I knew I had done the right thing. There's been a smile on my face since that date.
Well it has to be said, you look great, from what I can see in your pic.
Can I ask a question? And I promise, I'm not being sarcastic or anything, I'm really being serious.
Firstly, when you say 'hairpiece', I'm assuming thats what we here call a wig or a toupee, right?
I've never had an issue with hair loss. I always had quite a high forehead, but actual hair loss never came my way. I know for a lot of men, its not a big deal when it happens, and for other men, its a seriously big deal and can cause a lot of pain and upset.
What I've never understood, however, is the 'wig mentality' as I call it. From my experience, from what I've seen myself, a wig/toupee/hairpiece never, EVER looks like real hair. It never looks as good as thinning hair, it never looks as good as MPB, and it never looks as good as a bald head. Obviously, thats just my opinion.
What I'm trying to understand is whether men who wear one of these things actually think the people around them dont realise that they're wearing fake hair, or that they know they're not kidding anyone, but that fake hair is better than no hair.
Again, I'm not trying to be sarcastic or silly, I'm genuinely trying to understand why a man would wear a hairpiece (etc). If its simply for the feeling of having 'something on their head', then in a way, I can understand it, but if its to say 'hey world, look, I'm not bald!', then I dont see the point, because I cant imagine there's anyone who cant spot a wig at 500 yards.
Apologies if that offends anyone, thats really not my intent at all. :@`
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p.s. the cockney rhyming slang for 'wig' is 'syrup'. Ie, "look at the syrup on that bloke over there"
Syrup of figs = wigs
Not that it matters. But most people here call them syrups rather than wigs/hairpieces/toupees etc.
:(
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I think you look good the way you are. I also agree with saintc that you would probably feel silly putting the topper back on.
Like everyone has said, give it a little more time. Keep thinking about the freedom you have now. Completely shave it if you've only been buzzing. Ask yourself if you'd really feel better about yourself if you go back to the hair piece.
Seriously, you look good O0. You look like a guy. Look in the mirror without thinking about the old hair piece. Hopefully you can put that old image out of your mind and come to realize for yourself you look good as who you are.
I understand this may be difficult. I'm 35 days in and still keep thinking about my newly bald head and I love my new look (and I love the feel even more). I can only imagine what people are going through if they aren't sure about their new look.
Keep us posted and we'll help you work through it. And you look good.
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Maybe I am the odd man out here on this 30 day thing. I took my hairpiece off, shaved my head and went for the 30 minute test. After 30 minutes I knew I had done the right thing. There's been a smile on my face since that date.
Well it has to be said, you look great, from what I can see in your pic.
Can I ask a question? And I promise, I'm not being sarcastic or anything, I'm really being serious.
Firstly, when you say 'hairpiece', I'm assuming thats what we here call a wig or a toupee, right?
I've never had an issue with hair loss. I always had quite a high forehead, but actual hair loss never came my way. I know for a lot of men, its not a big deal when it happens, and for other men, its a seriously big deal and can cause a lot of pain and upset.
What I've never understood, however, is the 'wig mentality' as I call it. From my experience, from what I've seen myself, a wig/toupee/hairpiece never, EVER looks like real hair. It never looks as good as thinning hair, it never looks as good as MPB, and it never looks as good as a bald head. Obviously, thats just my opinion.
What I'm trying to understand is whether men who wear one of these things actually think the people around them dont realise that they're wearing fake hair, or that they know they're not kidding anyone, but that fake hair is better than no hair.
Again, I'm not trying to be sarcastic or silly, I'm genuinely trying to understand why a man would wear a hairpiece (etc). If its simply for the feeling of having 'something on their head', then in a way, I can understand it, but if its to say 'hey world, look, I'm not bald!', then I dont see the point, because I cant imagine there's anyone who cant spot a wig at 500 yards.
Apologies if that offends anyone, thats really not my intent at all. :@`
Hey GSGUK:
No offense taken. All good questions. I will try to respond. I started thinning at about age 20. This was 1984. Genre of the big hair bands. I was an athlete. Had always been popular in high school and was panic stricken in college that I was losing my hair. My grandfather was MPB as long as I can remember. I was petrified. Call it vanity or whatever you wish but I was in panic mode.
My barber suggested to me that I could wear a hairpiece, toupee, whatever you want to call it. I decided to do it before I went fully bald. It worked well at first. I was an attorney at the time and I did the barber's legal work (yes they need legal work on occasion) and he got me my systems at cost. The first several years it looked pretty natural and I did not have any problems. HOwever, once I started thinning even more it became a problem. It then began to look FAKE. But what could I do - continue to wear it and convince myself that no one noticed OR take it off and be completely emberrassed that I did not have hair AND had been living a lie. I FELT TRAPPED, I wore it for 23 years.
Now remember this was before the bald look became what I call fashionable. So it was much easier for me to take off the piece in 2007 than in 1987. Did I think I was fooling people. Let me direct you to a post I made about a month ago:
I know where you are. I wore a "system" for 23 years from age 20 to 43. I was a slave to it. I know your fear. I was very scared and worried about what everyone would say. I was sure THEY would be shocked when I shaved it clean.
Turns out, I WAS THE ONE WHO WAS SHOCKED.
I was shocked to learn that I had not been fooling anyone with my "system".
I was shocked to learn that most everyone had wanted me to get rid of it for years.
I was shocked to learn that no one cared that I did not have hair.
I was shocked to learn that I felt bether about myself once I got rid of the "system."
I was shocked to learn that my self confidence shot straight through the roof.
I was shocked to learn that my hair, or the lack thereof, did not define me.
I was shocked to learn that I was happier without it.
So yes, I thought I was fooling everyone but only fooling myself. I hope this answers your questions. Thanks for asking. I love sharing my story and always hopes it helps someone.
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That does help. Thanks :)
I think part of the reason I dont/didnt understand is because I've never had the MPB issue. As I've mentioned before, my father was as bald as a doorknob by the time he was 18 or 20, and I was terrified my hair would go the same way his did, but it never did. I think by the time I was 20 though, I didnt care if it did or it didnt, so from a hair loss point of view, I cant personally identify with it.
Also, it has to be said that I dont think I've ever seen a young guy here wearing a wig (or whatever they should be called). It could be that they're wearing the most fabulous wigs ever made, but somehow I doubt it. When people on the site talk about hair pieces and hairsystem, it goes way above my head (pardon the pun!) because they are unknown here as far as I know, or at least, generally unused. The only thing I know of thats fairly common(ish) is a product called Regaine (which I think is Rogaine in America?), but even that isnt used by too many people.
There's a famous footballer (soccer) here called Wayne Rooney. He's pretty young, early 20s I think, and he just had a hair transplant, and the media totally went to town on it, a) because he's famous and b) the whole 'hair replacement' thing is so unusual here, particularly on a young guy. Unfortunately, nothing could improve Wayne Rooney's appearance. His nickname is Shrek.
I know some older guys wear a hairpiece/wig here, but I'm talking about really old guys, and you'd think they pulled up a piece of carpet from their living room floor and stuck it to their head with scotch tape.
So this whole phenomenon is fascinating to me, because unless I've been living in a cave, people here just dont have that option, or they dont go for it. I'm sure some probably do, but here, to see a young guy of 20 or 30 with a wig would be virtually unheard of.
As I said, you're a handsome guy, and you certainly pull the bald look off without any question, but IMOHO, that applies to just about everyone. There were those pictures posted a couple of days ago of those two Hollywood actors, and they could possibly be the exception to the rule along with a few others, but for me, even the worst case of MPB looks far more appealing and natural than any hairpiece ever could.
That said, I can see this is a very deeply personal issue for a lot of men, and it can be hard to let go of having hair on their head, so I'm certainly not criticising/criticizing anyone for wearing a hairpiece, I just find it strange (in a 'wow, thats really unusual, to see a young guy with a wig').
I know someone is bound to find fault with what I've said, and I'll be accused of being rude or insensitive, but I'm not trying to be. I just find it interesting, and I'm pleased you took the time to explain :) Thanks!
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Also, it has to be said that I dont think I've ever seen a young guy here wearing a wig (or whatever they should be called). It could be that they're wearing the most fabulous wigs ever made, but somehow I doubt it. When people on the site talk about hair pieces and hairsystem, it goes way above my head (pardon the pun!) because they are unknown here as far as I know, or at least, generally unused. The only thing I know of thats fairly common(ish) is a product called Regaine (which I think is Rogaine in America?), but even that isnt used by too many people.
So this whole phenomenon is fascinating to me, because unless I've been living in a cave, people here just dont have that option, or they dont go for it. I'm sure some probably do, but here, to see a young guy of 20 or 30 with a wig would be virtually unheard of.
I think the whole hair replacement thing is pretty much an American phenomenon. People in other countries seem to handle the whole hair loss thing a lot better than we do. :)
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Maybe, or perhaps we just dont have the same amount of companies trying to sell this type of thing to us. Who knows.
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Hey GSGUK. I find nothing in your post to be critical of. You were just asking a question about differnent cultures. I certainly was not offended. It was simply an exhange of dialogue between two adults. Trust me, no offense taken. I think open dialogue is good and probably most people on here agree.
O0
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Thanks :) I hope so! :(
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The hair replacement industry is alive and well in Australia with bombardment of ads from companies like Ashley & Martin and Lemo. They have even lined up some high profile sportsmen (in Australia cricketers including Shane Warne and Doug Bollinger) to spruik their benefits. It's sad how they prey on insecurities.
Fortunately there are many, many men now shaving their heads and it is very common for all ages and all walks of life. I was helping at a charity stall yesterday and the number of men with shaved or clippered heads was about 10-20% and it was easy to banter with them.
You look good shaved and I would suggest sticking with it to get used to your new look.
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hi there!! you dont need the hair system you look ok and natural !!i start to shave my hair 4 mounths ago(i am 28 years) and never look back!!
good luck!!
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Stick around here, daily if you need to, and let us allay your doubts 😄😄
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Day 17 of Freedom from the HCM RAT! Loving every second of it! The pro comments far outweigh the one or two negatives I've gotten, and even the negatives were more in a joking spirit.
Dont ever regret this!
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I heard somewhere once, in connection with starting a fitness regimen, is that it takes the human brain 28 days to instill a habit. I think that it was rounded to 30 days for expediency. When a person starts a fitness program it takes 28 days for it to become an integral part of their life. Once that period is completed it would seem odd and an inconvenience to NOT go to the gym rather than the other way around.
So I think it is the same with BBC. If a person who has become dependent on the rug decides to shave their head it takes that period of time to make that a habit. For the sake of self-examination, how long did it take to get used to the maintainence and upkeep of the hairpiece? I don't know that that question needs to be answered here so much as it needs to be answered while looking in the mirror.
I would say to try to complete the 30 days just so you can operate from a less biased point of view. I think that the hair replacement companies depend on this culture's men's lack of confidence to keep their users on the hook. So it takes some intestinal fortitude to break that bond and get on with a natural life.
If all else fails examine your financial outlay on a monthly basis for the rug and rug-based expenses and imagine what you could be doing with all that extra scratch.
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and it is a whole big pile of SCRATCH too! (I calculated it out at savings about $450 every month!)
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and it is a whole big pile of SCRATCH too! (I calculated it out at savings about $450 every month!)
$450 a month, wow! he should be happier than a puppy with two peters to save that much money.
!B@
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Check out this thread to know what that $450 a month will be worth in 40 years!....http://www.slybaldguys.com/smf/index.php?topic=16035.0
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Check out this thread to know what that $450 a month will be worth in 40 years!....http://www.slybaldguys.com/smf/index.php?topic=16035.0
good to know :P
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and it is a whole big pile of SCRATCH too! (I calculated it out at savings about $450 every month!)
Wow!! How many bills can be paid and possible investments and savings options can be made now?
Good choice shrugged. O0