Sly Bald Guys Forum
Discussions About Being Bald => 30 Day Rule / Beginners Section => Topic started by: Rube on August 29, 2011, 08:48:19 AM
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To those of you who don't know, I buzzed my hair down to a zero guard a few days ago because I've been losing it since high school. I was pretty excited about it at first, given all that I've read here and elsewhere about how liberating guys have found it. Unfortunately, all the reactions I've gotten have been quite negative.
For example, when I stopped into work to check my schedule yesterday the first thing my coworker said was, "Are you joining the Nazis?" I'm pretty sure this comment was made in jest, but it still got to me because in the short time I've been sly I've gotten several Nazi/racist comments; some of them being very serious. My sister is actually afraid that when I go back to school tomorrow I'm going to get beat up for looking like a skinhead. I think part of the reason for these comments is that Ohio is a very bigoted state, ranking fourth lowest in tolerance according to some sources. So I'm worried that the people in my area have been primed to associate young, bald men with racism, since racism is so common here.
I know I've said all these things before, and that everyone who has responded advised me not to listen to those trying to discourage me from shaving my head. However, I'm still pretty worried about how things will go when I start school tomorrow. Since I don't know much about the neo-Nazi movement, are there any types of clothes I shouldn't wear if I don't wish to be associated with them? I normally wear some kind of dark-ish t-shirt and jeans, but should I stay away from these until people learn I'm not a racist?
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I have never experienced the things you're describing, I have only gotten positive responses. As long as you dress and behave normal nobody should associate you with the described movement. People who know you will only need a few days to get used to it. I guess your coworker was just making fun of you.
As I say, I would recommend to dress well and act as always. Show pride and don't let others judge you on your bald dome.
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I am fine with jokes but comments about Nazi's is NOT cool. And not just because I'm Jewish! I would be very serious when I simply explained why I shaved my head and make it clear that Nazi jokes are not cool.
I have had people say I look like a terrorist with my sunglasses on (I think it's pretty badass too) and I'm ok with that because it is not a specific reference to anything. My brother has been the worst with making all kinds comments about terrorism and related groups (I'm not going to mention) and he hasn't even seen me with sunglasses yet. He has only seen the picture I emailed him without them. I told him I'm ok with with the cue ball jokes he's been making but when I see him, I'm going to tell him the comments about me being a part of certain extreme groups are not right. If he persists, I'll have to let him know the crop circle on his head is fair game.
I surely hope people aren't that ignorant where you live.
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It is unfortunate that, particularly in our society, we males have a tendency to size each other up and make value judgements of others based on outward appearances. I received no negatives that are worth recalling when I went sly more than a decade ago but in the area where I live there does not seem to be a big "skin" presence. Racists up in north central Wisconsin come in all forms.
Be courteous with everyone you come into contact with. David Allan Coe conveyed the idea in his book "Convict" that when he was in prison one of the things he learned was that people will say lots of different things designed to incite a problem but the smart guys didn't jump until someone laid a hand on them. Let people say what they need to say and then engage them in conversation. The memory of that will stay with them.
Remember some of the gentleman's rules. Hold doors open for ladies. Help people pick up what they have dropped. Offer assistance to people who are carrying a load greater than yours. In acting on these rules make no judgements based on appearance. In particular do these kinds of things for people who have been verbally critical of your appearance or who appear to have made a judgement of you based on your haircut. Remember that everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle. Say hello and smile as you pass.
Courtesy, courtesy, courtesy. Right up until the time you are forced to react.
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buddha said it best - if you are polite and courteous, no one can accuse you of being anything less than a gentleman.
Also, realize that not everyone in Ohio (or any other state for that matter) is a bigot. Generalizations like that are the heart of the problem, i.e., if you shave your head, you must be a racist. As hard as it may be, practice tolerance and avoid generalizations.
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Generalizations like that are the heart of the problem, i.e., if you shave your head, you must be a racist. As hard as it may be, practice tolerance and avoid generalizations.
Perfectly stated.
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I got that when I started shaving my dome. My sister made a remark but shes always making remarks. One of my friends told me "I thought it wasn't possible but your even more of a menacing !!@hole now." On the upside I did scare the crap out of my friends co-workers. He thought I was the second coming of Adolph and was hiding inside of the building. This guy was scared of his own shadow anyway. I handle the people that make a crass joke by cracking back on them. Often I embarrass them and they shut up.
Most people are go to the skinhead/neo nazi comment when they see a guy with a shaved head. You would get ragged on if you went and grew your hair down to your rear end. Plus guys tend to rip on each other just as a matter of course. That is how some of them communicate. They do it by rote. Ignore them and don't be afraid to go out in public. More people are going to praise your Dome than criticize it.
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I have found that very often when somebody says something either stupid or ignorant.... if I just stare at them, look a little agitated, and don't say anything, they will get VERY uncomfortable and look for a way out. It usually doesn't happen again from the same person.
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More people are going to praise your Dome than criticize it.
Yea, that's the experience I've had so far. Most people who know me say I look much better with a shaved head, so I went ahead and started shaving down to the skin last week. However, when I was walking around in Cleveland, OH a few days ago a man stopped me and asked if I was part of the Aryan nation. This guy wasn't joking, he and his friend actually wanted to know if I was a Nazi. Then as soon as I said no he asked me for money.
But like I said, the vast majority of the feedback I've received has been positive.
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More people are going to praise your Dome than criticize it.
Yea, that's the experience I've had so far. Most people who know me say I look much better with a shaved head, so I went ahead and started shaving down to the skin last week. However, when I was walking around in Cleveland, OH a few days ago a man stopped me and asked if I was part of the Aryan nation. This guy wasn't joking, he and his friend actually wanted to know if I was a Nazi. Then as soon as I said no he asked me for money.
But like I said, the vast majority of the feedback I've received has been positive.
They were probably crackheads.
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More people are going to praise your Dome than criticize it.
Yea, that's the experience I've had so far. Most people who know me say I look much better with a shaved head, so I went ahead and started shaving down to the skin last week. However, when I was walking around in Cleveland, OH a few days ago a man stopped me and asked if I was part of the Aryan nation. This guy wasn't joking, he and his friend actually wanted to know if I was a Nazi. Then as soon as I said no he asked me for money.
But like I said, the vast majority of the feedback I've received has been positive.
They were probably crackheads.
Look at it this way: anyone who truly thought you were a Nazi wouldn't approach you and ask.
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I've never been asked if I'm a Nazi, skinhead, or anything bad. I wonder why people assume such stupid things.
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I've never been asked if I'm a Nazi, skinhead, or anything bad. I wonder why people assume such stupid things.
Because people are ignorant and stereotype. A lot of people just want to get a reaction and they think they are being funny and cute.
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You're right - some do think it's funny or just want to get a reaction.
Here's the weird part about the Nazi comment: if you watch documentaries about Nazi Germany, you don't see bald guys!
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Look at it this way: anyone who truly thought you were a Nazi wouldn't approach you and ask.
Yea, that's true. As I was walking towards them it looked like the guy who approached me was arguing with his friend a little, so I'm assuming they were debating about whether or not to ask me for money because his friend thought I was a Nazi. Oh well, at least now they know better.
They were probably crackheads.
Well they were at least drunk, that much was obvious.
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How are things coming along? You should be experiencing a less apprehension by now. Is it getting any easier?
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How are things coming along? You should be experiencing a less apprehension by now. Is it getting any easier?
Yes, it's getting much easier! Most of the people who know me love my new hairstyle, and so do I! I should've done this years ago!
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I should've done this years ago!
8) So many guys say that!
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I should've done this years ago!
8) So many guys say that!
And this is the part where we say, "We told you so." ;D
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Hey Rube, You have gotten some excellent advise from some very savy guys...Many people find satisfaction in continually putting others down for what ever stupid reason they can find...if you are not like me, it's reason to hate you. You must dress like me, be my color, be a non-immigrant, speak my language, be my religion, same economic class, salute the flag and have a "decent haircut" and we don't wanna see no tats or piercings. It's hard for people to admit/realize that we are all different and that difference is to be celebrated and appreciated. Hang in there, dare to be different and enjoy your emancipation.
O0
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Look at it this way: anyone who truly thought you were a Nazi wouldn't approach you and ask.
Yea, that's true. As I was walking towards them it looked like the guy who approached me was arguing with his friend a little, so I'm assuming they were debating about whether or not to ask me for money because his friend thought I was a Nazi. Oh well, at least now they know better.
They were probably crackheads.
Well they were at least drunk, that much was obvious.
Just look at the source. Ignore the haters. I don't get many drunks coming up to me criticizing my Dome ;-)
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I find it easiest to avoid/ignore the drunks. Have any of you noticed that they very seldom have anything of value to add to a conversation and that, in any case, they don't remember it the next day anyway?
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I find it easiest to avoid/ignore the drunks. Have any of you noticed that they very seldom have anything of value to add to a conversation and that, in any case, they don't remember it the next day anyway?
I usually avoid them, but in this case we happened to be walking past each other on the street. These guys were drunk beggars too, and as insensitive as it sounds some of the beggars in my city are very hard to avoid. They tend to follow you if you ignore them...
At any rate, I like being sly, so people are just going to have to get used to the fact that I'm not a Nazi. I think I'll start taking the bus when I'm alone in Cleveland at night though, just to be safe. It's also warmer in there :)