Sly Bald Guys Forum
New Member Section => Introductions => Topic started by: Coach7 on December 31, 2010, 09:04:42 AM
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Hello everyone. I love Sly Blad Guys. A great place to build confidence and get advice from those that have "been there". I've been reading lots of the posts for a few weeks now. I would really appreciate any help you guys can offer, especially from guys that may have been down my path and reached the point of FREEDOM.
My path is not one which makes me overly proud, but here it is.....
Started with MPB at about age 18. It was brutal on me psychologically. I really let it get to me, as I felt like I was the only one in my circle of life (of a similar age, at my college) that had this issue. Tried different haircuts to help with it, and at about age 19 I just shaved it all down to the skin. I enjoyed the freedom this gave me (athletics, peace fo mind, etc), and it was mostly well-received at my school. But when I went home, it was not well received by my family and friends. I also heard a lot of people say "you'll never get a job like that." It seemed like decent logic at the time.....I was targeting a professional conservative field, and back in the late 80's the shaved look was not nearly as accepted as it is today.
So I started trying to figure out what to do. Then it got bad enough that I got sucked into having one hair transplant in 1990. (I know --- dumb. Likely the biggest regret of my life). That helped for a while, but only a short while. I lost more hair, and then found myself at Hair Club at about age 21. Had a rug for the last 20 years. Maybe it helped for a while, but now I find myself very much wanting to go back to the full shave. But I have a major dilemma (or at least it appears major to me)....
If I shave and ditch the rug (which I really would LOVE to do), I have the issue of the scars. The top of my head is not so bad. Shave it down and get some sun, and I really think it is not very visible. The tough part is the back of my head. I have 1/8" small white-ish scars that run in a dotted pattern (not a strip). They are not horrible, but noticeable. Shave it down, and they are there. The slight shadow looks patchy with little holes, and if skin-slick the scars are a slightly different shade than the surrounding skin.
Has anybody with this type of scarring been down my path and shaved their head? Are you able to tell me how you have coped with this issue? I am almost certain I am not willing to have additional surgery or even lasers (etc) to have it fixed.....sorry, I am just done. Does a self-tanner help with the scars, or does it make it worse? Anybody use a scar concealer (make-up)? Any other ideas? Of course I would like to go as simple as possible, shave it, and forget about it, but I am pretty certain it will not be that easy.
I really want to shave and get rid of the rug, but I can't trade one issue (the rug) for another (obvious scars from a HT) easily. I have sons that are in junior high and I don't like the example I am setting for them with the rug. I want to be more real, and teach them that their approach to life should be to be themselves. But I also don't want to be "the dad with the scars on his head from a HT)."
So anybody with real life experience for a guy with some regrets, but also some real hope for moving past this point in my life with confidence.........please let me know. I really need to know how someone in this situation coped. This is one of the hardest transitional issues I have ever faced in my life.
Thanks guys.
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Hi,
Email me and I will tell you about my HT scars and using the Pixel laser on them.
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Welcome to SBGs!!! 8)
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Hi,
Email me and I will tell you about my HT scars and using the Pixel laser on them.
Chgobuzzbald......I really appreciate your kind offer, but I am at this point just too hesitant to go that route. Thank you so much for trying to help.
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Welcome to SBGs!!! 8)
Thank you Arnie. This forum is much-needed and I enjoy learning from all the great posts>
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I had a HT a few years ago and then was a slave to the hair club for two years. I always felt that there was no way I could ever just yank the rug and shave my head - which I SO BADLY wanted to do - because of the scar (I have a very, very obvious and long strip scar). Finally I did just that. I couldn't take the rug anymore. It was too miserable to bear. I pulled the piece and shaved my head. Initially there was a lot of shock on the part of my coworkers and students (I am a HS teacher) but as time passed the shock passed and people got used to it. Nobody has said anything negative about my shaved head in weeks maybe even a couple of months (except for a stupid bimbo at the gym). I don't like the scar obviously. It reminds me of the WORST decision of my life, but its there. With the rug gone so too is all the anxiety associated with it. The constant worry and insecurity not to mention the physical discomfort and the limitations on exercise, showering, and general hygiene are all gone. I may not be as pretty as I was the one day in 50 that the hair piece looked ok but life is infinitely better for me. There are places - Artistry Concepts is certainly the one that seems the most reputable - that perform "medical tattooing" to camoflauge scarring from HTs. They recreate follicules with a non-cosmetic ink. If the scar is really the sticking point you might want to contact them. Just google them. Finally, I just thought that I'd mention that the hair club has actually released me from my contract. I will now be saving over $500/month. I hope this has helped. Good luck in whatever you decide to do.
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Perhaps my experience will be helpful in any case tp others... last Wed. I had a session with the Pixel brand fractional laser set at level 200 I believe. This was passed over twice an area on the lower neck where a number of HT grafts were removed leaving raised scars. This is the 2nd time we have done this and each time the laser is set at a higher intensity. It burned of course and they had someone with a vacuum type hose there to suck up the smoke and the smell LOL (burning skin). First I offer this to 1) convince ANYONE never to try a hair transplant and 2) for those that did, and now regret it, there is hope of at least reducing the appearance of the scars with a number of passes of this type of fractional laser. It is tremendously helpful for ANY kind of scar or skin damage in any case. The doctor here in Chicago has never had an HT patient and is happy to try this at minimal cost to me. Im also using it on my nose to reduce large pores and some acne scars. So for anyone reading this there is hope of "erasing" our mistake at least to some extent. They tell me the more sessions the better the result and the skin takes 6 months to fully regenerate Collegen which has the restorative effect. This can be done once oper month. So ease up on yourself if you had an HT and if the scars bother you then find a doctor who owns a fractional laser and let him get to work.
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Jack --- thank you for relating your story to me. It offers me hope, and I find your approach to have been very brave. Oh how I want to do the same.
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welcome. Been there and done that and even corrected a lot of my old hair transplants.
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Welcome Coach7, Good to have you join us. I can only echo what the other fellas have said, and I think if you could only just take that leap, start by ditching the rug, buzz down what you may have left and then try a shave, you'll feel freedom like you've never felt before. It's really tangible, and will save you a lot of time, stress and money, as Jack pointed out.
Check out some of the earlier posts by our member PDXTodd as well, and see how it helped him.
Good luck. Free yourself man, and get on with life! O0
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I have the sense that because you've been married a while (I'm just assuming this owing to your mention of yr kids being in jr high) the change would be less traumatic for you. I am divorced and don't really get much support from my parents. A support network is essential. That's something I did not have save for this site. Furthermore, I do not know what you do for a living but unless you are a teacher like me there are bound to be other bald/ shaved heads around you. I teach at a school of 400 or so with 30 odd faculty members. I am the only bald guy - there are a couple of thinning guys about my age but that's it. Obviously the kids all have hair so I was/ am the only one. It was very tough at first but has become almost a non issue for me now. I don't want to force your hand. Its your decision to make. For so long I said "Oh If only I could just yank this itchy thing and shave it all off - but I can't b/c of the scar". Turns out I could. I've looked into lots of ways of reducing the appearance of the scar. I haven't looked into the laser treatment that Chgo has mentioned. It sounds like your scars as nothing like mine but still a major issue to you. If camoflauging the scars is an absolute must, I again urge you to look into Artistry Concepts. They have large, high resolution photos of their work on their website. Shoot them an e-mail and see if they can help you.
Jack --- thank you for relating your story to me. It offers me hope, and I find your approach to have been very brave. Oh how I want to do the same.
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Thank you again, Jack. Yes, the scars (small whitish dots in a pattern, lower back of my head) are my hang-up. I shaved a small section and looked at it, and they are visible. The pattern effect feels like it advertises "HT". I could muscle through it with my close family and friends (and yes, I am fortunate enough to have a great marriage and a support network), but then I will always have to cope with meeting new people in broad social situations, and my fears are large with this. I just wish I could reduce or conceal them in some manner. I worry about trading one miserable thing (the rug) for another (lengthy bouts of self-conscoiusness over the scars).
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Do you dislike the hair piece b/c it makes you self-conscious or is it just that it is a pain in the butt that restricts your lifestyle and is uncomfortable? You sound very concerned about the scars and have been in a piece for twenty years. I think that you should contact a plastic surgeon (not a HT hack) about possible methods of camoflauging the scarred area before you go ahead and do anything. Maybe some sort of cosmetic would be all it takes.
Thank you again, Jack. Yes, the scars (small whitish dots in a pattern, lower back of my head) are my hang-up. I shaved a small section and looked at it, and they are visible. The pattern effect feels like it advertises "HT". I could muscle through it with my close family and friends (and yes, I am fortunate enough to have a great marriage and a support network), but then I will always have to cope with meeting new people in broad social situations, and my fears are large with this. I just wish I could reduce or conceal them in some manner. I worry about trading one miserable thing (the rug) for another (lengthy bouts of self-conscoiusness over the scars).
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Jack - it is really both. Self-conscious and restrictive. It has been a long time, but it is really just not me. And I don't like the example it sets for my kids. You are likely right that I should consult with plastic surgeon. The tough thing is recovery, etc from anything they might recommend. I have a life that is busy enough that I would not have the luxury of checking out of society for any extended period of time. One really poor decision when I was very young is really making this so much harder.
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The tough part is the back of my head. I have 1/8" small white-ish scars that run in a dotted pattern (not a strip). They are not horrible, but noticeable. Shave it down, and they are there. The slight shadow looks patchy with little holes, and if skin-slick the scars are a slightly different shade than the surrounding skin.
I really want to shave and get rid of the rug, but I can't trade one issue (the rug) for another (obvious scars from a HT) easily. I have sons that are in junior high and I don't like the example I am setting for them with the rug. I want to be more real, and teach them that their approach to life should be to be themselves. But I also don't want to be "the dad with the scars on his head from a HT)."
You've heard from the guys who have the HT scars, I only have one, from a skin cancer. It's irregularrly shaped, it is clearly visible--it's a part of my life. But no one, not one, not my wife who isn't and hasn't supproted the sly look, my friends and associates, no one has ever mentioned that shaving the horseshoe exposed that part of my life. And my bet is that no one will for you either. But your boys will notice, they will see that it wasn't a move that was in the final judgment something that they should follow.
So what do you do, continue in the circle of futility worrying about the disfigurement, or face the world face first--where of course they don't see anything--and move on with your life. Even the guys who have made a similar early on decision will assure you that it's better than where you are. And in doing the "deed" you guide your boys in the right direction. Move on, life must go forward.
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When I meant was that perhaps you could get by camoflauging the scars with makeup. I was not suggesting allowing any doctor to ever touch your head again. We both made terrible mistakes out of youthful desperation. It was SaintC, the well dressed gentleman with the distinguished silver beard who elicited something of an epiphany for me vis a vis the scar. He said that scars are part of life and part of who we are and where we have been. Those were not the exact words, but they hit home. I have dozens of scars - on my chest, shoulder, neck. I never thought anything of them other than that they were part of me. At the beach people have stared at my chest scar for years. I never cared at all. I suddenly then thought
If I don't care when people stare at the scars on my body, why should I care about their looking at the scar on my head?". Nobody mentions the scar - ever.
Jack - it is really both. Self-conscious and restrictive. It has been a long time, but it is really just not me. And I don't like the example it sets for my kids. You are likely right that I should consult with plastic surgeon. The tough thing is recovery, etc from anything they might recommend. I have a life that is busy enough that I would not have the luxury of checking out of society for any extended period of time. One really poor decision when I was very young is really making this so much harder.
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Saintc ----- what you have written really strikes me. It is sincere and enlightenting........and likely all very true. Thank you for taking the time to help me along this difficult path. It means more than you know.
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Saintc ----- what you have written really strikes me. It is sincere and enlightenting........and likely all very true. Thank you for taking the time to help me along this difficult path. It means more than you know.
Please, it's not just me or the other sly guys who have posted, but I can say without reservation that every sly guy on this Forum is here to support you. Over the time I've been here, just over three years, a few concerns seem to be in front of every guy considering sly as a way to deal with mpb. And those concerns include that they don't have a "perfect" dome, either because of scars, shape, color--any perceived "fault" they can find with their dome. But as a constant response to that concern--almost every guy has found that the flaws they saw in their own dome are just that, theirs--no body else gives a damn. In a way it's almost disappointing that shaving is so accepted now--it's so huge to the guy doing it but with the exception regarding the general issue of family and close friends the only response is generally compliments or a little razzing. Family and friends, well you've experienced that. My view is that family and friends can't escape their memory of what used to be and they don't want to. They come around or they learn to live with it. Remember this is a decision for you not them, you are the 24/7 guy, not them.
But consider this too, a little sun, no one is going to notice your HT donor site marks. They don't greet you from behind, they look at your face. And it will look good--a lot better than a rug. Yesterday we went to a friend's home for a little supper after the game and one guy their had a rug. It's kind of funny, there I was shaved up, standing with my back to a large mirror, talking with this guy. He has a rug, not a great one--if they do exist for anyone other than the movie star crowd. Anyway we're talking and his eyes keep going to the mirror--he's not looking at my scar, he's looking to check the orientation of the rug--frankly it was off kilter and trying to center it without looking obvious. I was SO tempted to tell the guy, "Kill that animal" but I didn't.
What you need to do is yield to the urge to shave it down, just do it. Then 30 days, and my bet is that you'll never let anything but a day or two of stubble exist on that dome again. You want to, everyone knows it's a rug anyway---they really do and to the extent they talk about that, and probably they do, that talk will stop. The HT sites, they're a non-issue, trust us. Break free, get over the hump and learn what living without worry about something stupid like the rug, etc. can be.
See you on the Sly Side of Life--it's sort of like that line from Auntie Mame, "Life's a banquet and most poor bastards are starving to death!" Don' keep starving. Pull off that rug, buzz off the remnants of the fringe, shower, new blade and clean up--you're going to like it we promise. And those boys--well they'll have a real example of how to do it if the genetics lead them the same way.
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Hey Coach. I can't speak personally about HT scars, but I did wear the rug for over 10 years. Once I came to SBGs and started poking around, the urge to ditch the hairpiece became too great, so I did it and things have been awesome. I imagine that you are the same way too - the fact you are here means that you are thinking about it and it sounds like you will be just like me - you will find that the desire to ditch the rug is too much to ignore and you will find a way to get it done. You have been wearing a piece for a long time, so you don't need me to tell you that wearing one stinks.
The one thing I will say about the HT scars is that I am sure they are not as bad as you think they are, both visually as well as your worry that they will scream "hair transplant." Some of the guys here have some really bad scars and they have found a way to deal with them either through treatments or just letting them be. In reading and participating on this site, I have learned that guys who have had a HT grossly overestimate the number of people who will be tipped off by the scar. Most people do not know what those kinds of scars are from. I wore a rug and was obviously concerned about hair loss in general, but I didn't really know what scars on the back of the head meant before I came to this site. Several times since going sly I have pointed out a HT scar to a family member or friend and they had no idea about them. It’s just a scar and almost everybody either won’t know or won’t care. They will be more interested in what is on the front of your head than the back.
I think the real question to ask yourself is: “What is better? Wearing a rug or having a nice bald head with a few scars?” Seems like it is time to let all this go, shave it down and start focusing all your energy into the things that are actually important in your life.
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Welcome to the forum. Good to have you here! O0
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Coach, welcome to the best bald forum on the Internet O0
As you probably can tell, you're getting the pure, unadulterated truth here mixed with a fair amount of experience. I hope it works for you and you stick around. We could probably use a good coach or two. ???
Anyway, it's great having you here! 8)
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Saintc ----- what you have written really strikes me. It is sincere and enlightenting........and likely all very true. Thank you for taking the time to help me along this difficult path. It means more than you know.
Please, it's not just me or the other sly guys who have posted, but I can say without reservation that every sly guy on this Forum is here to support you. Over the time I've been here, just over three years, a few concerns seem to be in front of every guy considering sly as a way to deal with mpb. And those concerns include that they don't have a "perfect" dome, either because of scars, shape, color--any perceived "fault" they can find with their dome. But as a constant response to that concern--almost every guy has found that the flaws they saw in their own dome are just that, theirs--no body else gives a damn. In a way it's almost disappointing that shaving is so accepted now--it's so huge to the guy doing it but with the exception regarding the general issue of family and close friends the only response is generally compliments or a little razzing. Family and friends, well you've experienced that. My view is that family and friends can't escape their memory of what used to be and they don't want to. They come around or they learn to live with it. Remember this is a decision for you not them, you are the 24/7 guy, not them.
But consider this too, a little sun, no one is going to notice your HT donor site marks. They don't greet you from behind, they look at your face. And it will look good--a lot better than a rug. Yesterday we went to a friend's home for a little supper after the game and one guy their had a rug. It's kind of funny, there I was shaved up, standing with my back to a large mirror, talking with this guy. He has a rug, not a great one--if they do exist for anyone other than the movie star crowd. Anyway we're talking and his eyes keep going to the mirror--he's not looking at my scar, he's looking to check the orientation of the rug--frankly it was off kilter and trying to center it without looking obvious. I was SO tempted to tell the guy, "Kill that animal" but I didn't.
What you need to do is yield to the urge to shave it down, just do it. Then 30 days, and my bet is that you'll never let anything but a day or two of stubble exist on that dome again. You want to, everyone knows it's a rug anyway---they really do and to the extent they talk about that, and probably they do, that talk will stop. The HT sites, they're a non-issue, trust us. Break free, get over the hump and learn what living without worry about something stupid like the rug, etc. can be.
See you on the Sly Side of Life--it's sort of like that line from Auntie Mame, "Life's a banquet and most poor bastards are starving to death!" Don' keep starving. Pull off that rug, buzz off the remnants of the fringe, shower, new blade and clean up--you're going to like it we promise. And those boys--well they'll have a real example of how to do it if the genetics lead them the same way.
Saintc --- this is one of the most helpful pieces of advice I have read. I think I read it 3 times, and then came back to it the next day so it would sink into my thick skull (past the rug). Thank you for taking the time to grant me some wisdom.
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Saintc --- this is one of the most helpful pieces of advice I have read. I think I read it 3 times, and then came back to it the next day so it would sink into my thick skull (past the rug). Thank you for taking the time to grant me some wisdom.
Well, no thanks are needed, but tell us, did you shave it down yet :/O?
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Welcome aboard, Coach!!
Glad you found us. I never went the rug route, nor the HT route, so I can't really give any comment dealing with this issue based on past personal experience, but I just wanted to extend a warm welcome to you and welcome you to the forum.
You'll get a lot of great advice here, and Saintc has established a great foundation for you to look at your situation from a whole different point of view, which you probably knew was there all the time, just never really acted on it.
Really great post, Saintc. I'm sure that post of yours will be referred to time and time again whenever someone new discovers our forum here and is having difficulty dealing with the same or similar issues. Thanks.
- Cap'n Noodles -
Coach, if you do happen to take the plunge and go SLY, post up a pic to your profile. You can learn how by clicking on the "HOW DO I..." section on the main forum page.
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The support here is unbelievable. Thank you guys. I feel like such a lame excuse for a man dealing with all of this, but this forum really shows that there are some others with similar experiences.
I am still bending my mind around going sly, but I know it is inevitable. It's going to the wood. And you are right that the more I look at scars that I so worry about, the more I realize that I am making a big friggin deal out of nothing. Are they there? Yes. Are they really prominent? No. I must be my own worst critic, as I guess we all can be at times.
It's funny how it is all about perspective. I read stories on the boards about guys (without HT issues) that are so worried about what their colleagues, etc will say if they shave it. Meanwhile, from my perspective, having a perfectly clean dome (even though I am not far from it) to show off would be the greatest feeling in the world.
I will need some time to get there, but I will get there. The transitional part is tough, but part of it I guess.
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So I removed the piece yesterday, and shaved a section of my head to take a good look. I stared and stared, and you could barely see them. I couldn't believe it. Not perfect, but mostly not an issue. Especially if I can get some sun to even out the tone. You guys are good.
This forum is infectious. Now that the idea of shaving my head is there, especially since my fear of the "scars" seems mostly unfounded, I want to take the step more and more. But here's my situation: I do not have any vacation time (or time where I will see the sun.....winter in the northeast) until June. Yes, June. And I really don't think I want to make this transition without a buffer period. A slightly bigger issue is that the 1st week of June I have to appear as a witness on behalf of my company for a hearing, and I know for certain that attending that sly will not be preferred. Sounds dumb, I know, but my recent meeting with the attorney gives me this strict impression.
I have no idea how I am going to wait that long, but I think I will have to. Thanks again for all the encouragement. The support system at SBG is UNBELIEVABLE. I would not have the guts to do this without all the helpful replies.
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Hey, coach.
It's january! If you shave your head now and let it grow back, in june you'll be very hairy!
In fact an one-month growtime is enough. You can shave fully now, keep the cut until may for the hearing, then shave it again. No one will notice.
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I would not wait until June. It is your head and your emplyer does not own it. Plus they seem to need you in any case ? Use Jergens Natural Glow to slowly add a darker color. They have an Express version that works in a few hours also. Im happy to hear the scars are a non-issue. Now go for it and enjoy the AMAZING CONFIDENCE you will have that will replace any fears regarding your employer.
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So I removed the piece yesterday, and shaved a section of my head to take a good look. I stared and stared, and you could barely see them. I couldn't believe it. Not perfect, but mostly not an issue. Especially if I can get some sun to even out the tone. You guys are good.
A slightly bigger issue is that the 1st week of June I have to appear as a witness on behalf of my company for a hearing, and I know for certain that attending that sly will not be preferred. Sounds dumb, I know, but my recent meeting with the attorney gives me this strict impression.
Emphasis added.
Okay, enough of this. You're in the grip of psychological projection, you are projecting your own unconscious loathing of balding carried forward from your training by the rug salesmen and putting that on the attorneys. Psychological projection or projection bias is a psychological defense mechanism where a person unconsciously denies their own attributes, thoughts, and emotions, which are then ascribed to the outside world in your case the company's attorneys. Thus, it involves imagining or projecting that others have those feelings. Projection reduces anxiety by allowing the expression of the unwanted unconscious impulses or desires without letting the conscious mind recognize them. Frankly, the attorneys could give a rat's ass what you look like, it's the testimony, not your hair, or lack thereof. I'm an attorney--as long as you're bathed and clothed respectibly I don't care as long as your testimony is relevant and to the point. Stop projecting and start shaving. Enough excuses already.
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SaintC is a hell of a lot smarter than me and I have to look up a quarter of the terms he uses but DAMN does he nail on the head time and again. I had to go to court a few weeks ago (I was just disputing a traffic ticket) and I was absolutely dreading standing in a courtroom in front of a judge with my shaved head and goatee which had me convinced that I looked like a vato loco. Not only were my fears unfounded but the entire experience ended up making me feel BETTER about being sly. The prosecutor was a younger guy with a shaved head. The cop who had given me the ticket showed up sporting a really sleak sly head. There were more shaved headed guys in the courtroom than guys with hair. As I am a teacher I spend very little time around other men of my age and not one who is bald or shaved headed. The court experience made me feel great. The judge spoke to me with respect and consummate profesionalism. She showed absolutely no disdain that I had feared. The whole thing ended up with a plea bargain and I saved myself a whole lot of money by going but much more than that was the feeling that I was not alone in the world and that a shaved head is COMPLETELY acceptable in the courtroom - frankly the last place that I would have thought. If its the court appearance you're concerned about, you need not. As for the sun - I have been in the sun on quite a few occassions (I live down south where we still have sunny 75 degree days in December) and my scalp color has really not changed at all. Winter is probably the best time as the difference in color between your scalp and face is least pronounced.
So I removed the piece yesterday, and shaved a section of my head to take a good look. I stared and stared, and you could barely see them. I couldn't believe it. Not perfect, but mostly not an issue. Especially if I can get some sun to even out the tone. You guys are good.
A slightly bigger issue is that the 1st week of June I have to appear as a witness on behalf of my company for a hearing, and I know for certain that attending that sly will not be preferred. Sounds dumb, I know, but my recent meeting with the attorney gives me this strict impression.
Emphasis added.
Okay, enough of this. You're in the grip of psychological projection, you are projecting your own unconscious loathing of balding carried forward from your training by the rug salesmen and putting that on the attorneys. Psychological projection or projection bias is a psychological defense mechanism where a person unconsciously denies their own attributes, thoughts, and emotions, which are then ascribed to the outside world in your case the company's attorneys. Thus, it involves imagining or projecting that others have those feelings. Projection reduces anxiety by allowing the expression of the unwanted unconscious impulses or desires without letting the conscious mind recognize them. Frankly, the attorneys could give a rat's ass what you look like, it's the testimony, not your hair, or lack thereof. I'm an attorney--as long as you're bathed and clothed respectibly I don't care as long as your testimony is relevant and to the point. Stop projecting and start shaving. Enough excuses already.
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Wow - that was a serious but honest analysis. Ouch. OK, I do understand what you are saying, Saintc. I know I am still working my way to sly.......it is a transition that is easier for some that others. But for me it is not a question of "if", but a question of "when". I may sound soft, but I really need a natural transitional period to do this, and June is that time. I will have a week away from work, and return to a new situation at my office. It is a time when it will be sufficiently comfortable for me to make this change. Will it still be scary? Sure. But I can handle it. I am counting down the days, and again feeling great about what is coming. I will be on the forum regularly between now and then, and I will post up pics. I could not have even made it to this point of commitment (albeit delayed commitment) without the guys on this forum. I look forward to joing the ranks of the SBG's.
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June is certainly a long way off, but you have to do what you think is best for you. I can't see how a bald head would be bad for your meeting, but if that is really the case you could always grow some stubble.
I took off the rug and went sly just over a month ago and what I can tell you from experience is that giving yourself a time buffer is most likely not as important as you think it is. I waited a few months after deciding to go sly so it coincided with a long weekend trip to Florida. Figured I would use the extra couple days to adjust and try and get some sun on the dome. I ended up being comfortable right away and the sun thing didn't really do too much over only a couple days.
It stunk having to wait so long to pull the trigger because (like you) I had that itch and wanted to get rid of the rug and move on. In hindsight, waiting until my time buffer came up was not necessary.
Maybe one day you will feel the same way - maybe just come home on a Friday or the start of a long weeekend, rip the rug off and shave it down. If you choose this route, I can assure you - IT WILL BE JUST FINE!!
Good luck and looking forward to you joining the sly ranks soon.
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"Move forward. Life must go on." said SaintC, and he is right. I have not bailed out here, I am just biding my time until June. But I must admit it is hard to wait. June is a big transitional time for me in so many ways, and it is when I will feel most comfortable going fully sly FOREVER.
SBG's is my weekly inspiration. It's just friggin hair. My life will be better when I move on, and I am looking forward to it thanks to the help of so many on this board. You guys are great.
Already have my Mach3, King of Shaves, badger hair brush, and camera. I don't have much hair left, so it should be easy to move to the next and best chapter of my life.
Thanks again, guys. I wouldn't have reached this point of blunt determination and optimisim without you.
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Can anybody offer a post-shave moisturizer recommendation? I don't think I want one that turns the shine up heavy, maybe more of a dull or matte finish.
Thank you friends.
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Hey guys --- is there a Sly Bald Guys group on Facebook? Just trying to connect through a different medium.
I cannot wait to go surfing this summer without wearing the frickin rug. How empowering that will be. What an idiot I must have looked like last summer.
Oh sweet freedom, less than 90 days away.
:*)) :D ;D O0 !B@ B33r
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Can anybody offer a post-shave moisturizer recommendation? I don't think I want one that turns the shine up heavy, maybe more of a dull or matte finish.
Thank you friends.
Glad to suggest Nivea Extreme shave balm, non oily, feels really good to rub into a newly scraped grape. You're going to feel so much better about yourself and, excuse my bluntness, very much younger. Your biggest complaint will be, and I guarantee this, "Why did I wait so f'ing long, why did I prolong my sadness?"
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Based upon my own experience I think you're putting WAY too much thought into this. I've shared my own sly history before in here and it begins with hair down to my shoulder blades one day to a totally unplanned and un-thought out clip and scrape the very next day. That was about 12 years ago and the catalyst was deer flies. When I went back to work the day after scraping the skull I had one woman ask me if I had lost weight.
I gotta be blunt here because I read so many posts where guys develop ulcers over the idea of shaving their heads. The fact of the matter is that this ain't like you've been an Orthodox Jew all your life and you're planning on converting to Catholicism. It's just a haircut. Nothing more. But the problem that plagues you and, probably, 99% of the guys who write their worries in here is concern over what "other people will think". Answer a question for yourself regarding this: Which one of them is paying your rent/mortgage and buying you food and clothes? Then shave your head and get on with your life.
Those who mind truly don't matter and those who matter truly don't mind.
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I have to concur with Buddha. You'll feel a whole lot better once the deed is done, so the sooner the better. I know you've set June as a time that will be an easier transition because you'll be going away for a week, but the truth is you have to face your colleagues sometime, and you won't be any more ready in June than you are now. It really is better to just rip the Band-Aid off quickly. You'll find that the anticipation is alot more anxiety-ridden than reality.
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Based upon my own experience I think you're putting WAY too much thought into this. I've shared my own sly history before in here and it begins with hair down to my shoulder blades one day to a totally unplanned and un-thought out clip and scrape the very next day. That was about 12 years ago and the catalyst was deer flies. When I went back to work the day after scraping the skull I had one woman ask me if I had lost weight.
I gotta be blunt here because I read so many posts where guys develop ulcers over the idea of shaving their heads. The fact of the matter is that this ain't like you've been an Orthodox Jew all your life and you're planning on converting to Catholicism. It's just a haircut. Nothing more. But the problem that plagues you and, probably, 99% of the guys who write their worries in here is concern over what "other people will think". Answer a question for yourself regarding this: Which one of them is paying your rent/mortgage and buying you food and clothes? Then shave your head and get on with your life.
Those who mind truly don't matter and those who matter truly don't mind.
h3ry3
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Awwww, you guys.....
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Buddha, you have to admit it; you nailed that one. O0 As those of us on the sly side of life know, you are speaking total accurate truth! O0
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Thanks, guys. Even the blind squirrel finds the occasional nut.
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Coach, where you at? Please tell me you shaved already! Everyone that procrastinates ends up saying the same thing afterward - "I wish I would have done it sooner!"
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Hey Coach,
The guys on here are very wise... Listen to their advice O0
Two things come to mind as I read this dicussion... Firstly, it took me around 4 years to get it together and loose the hair! I set dates then didn't do it.. there's no shame in that, so if you haven't, don't be hard on yourself, and we're all still here and on your side! I had to wait till it was the right time, but when it was... I just knew... I'm pretty certain you'll love it! I'm even more certain you'll love the reaction you get from people you know!
And if you have already... AWESOME!!!
Secondly... I don't know what the scars you have are like, (and I truly hope I'm not coming from too much of a place of ignorance here.) but an officer I hadn't met before was in our station today, cool sly guy, and he had some mean looking scars on the back of his head... and you know what? He looked even cooler for it!
So Coach, let us know what you've done.....
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Hello Coach,
As Arty Chris said, the guys on here are wise and their advice has been spot on.
If you have already shaved please post a picture and let us know how it's going.
If you haven't, then get your kit together and do the deed. You'll only regret putting it off so long. Either way give us a heads up on whats going on.