Sly Bald Guys Forum
Head Shaving, Grooming & Care => Head Shaving => Topic started by: Mauricio on July 23, 2010, 01:48:28 PM
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Logically speaking I know that I shouldn't let this bother me, but I just cant help it. I shaved my head on tuesday after several years of wearing a hair piece. Although I HATED wearing that thing, I cant believe that there is a bit of regret now that its off. The horse shoe thing is really bugging me not to mention the razor bumps that I'm getting where the horseshoe begins to further accentuate the shadow. There is no going back, but I cant help to wonder if this was the right thing to do. I love the confidence that some to the people on this site have. Any suggestions? Good books to read?
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Its actually a normal part of the process. The first two weeks are the hardest. I remember thinking at times that I did the wrong thing. By the end of the third week I was comfortable in my own skull and by the end of 30 days it was sly forever. I think especially for those of us with rugs - we constantly were thinking about our "hair" -- is it on straight, is the edge showing, is the lace showing through, will the glue hold one more day, will my new system arrive in time before this one falls apart, is the edge lifting, do I have enough supplies to last the next week, can she/he tell that I'm wearing a system - and when you shave it off you don't have anything like that to worry about anymore - so our mind clicks into overdrive looking for other things to worry about.
What you are experiencing is natural and normal. Key is to keep busy - get some sun on your head to even it out - and know that the first 30 days are the hardest. The irritation, bumps, et al go away with time - especially if you try techniques that Saintc talks about. It takes couple of weeks for your scalp to adjust - and from my own personal experience it does adjust.
Hang in there! I promise it gets better. A LOT better
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First of all looks real good, and that beard looks like it has promise.
On the "regret", think Linus. Although I didn't do the rug bit, it may have been your security blanket in many respects. It gave you a refuge from "being" and "accepting" baldness. Now, you're out in front and that shadow--it's a constant reminder to you about what you ran from years ago. Years and years of reinforcement of that fear kept your piece vendor in business, they would always praise it--you knew the rules. Now, all that misery but also all the rules you knew and the reinforcement you got is gone. You're now dealing w/ the issue up front. And you haven't built up anything to replace what you've gotten rid of.
That's what the thirty days are about, how to be yourself, as you really are. You're going to get there. The shadow is tough, I guess I could go back and look at my posts about how upset I was, but I'd probably zapp them off the site--they really seem that ridiculous to me now, but they weren't then at all--to me at least. You will get beyond it too.
But, you have a great dome, and the picture tells me that with some color what little shadow you have, and it isn't as heavy as you think it is, will also fade. It's the monument to your decision to be yourself, unencumbered by a fake hair do! This will pass.
Shaving bumps, read up on the head shaving threads, get some good astringent, keep it clean w/ some mild anti-bacterial soap--Cuticura is my choice. And, remember there's nothing between you and the world, including dirt, now. It's essential that you change pillowcases regularly. Hats, if you wear them need to be clean.
Said it before and it's worth repeating. You've got a great dome, and it never should have been covered. Looks great.
Edit: Went back and found one of my "panic" attack posts--I got over it, and now damn I sound like such a jerk:
Various Bald Discussions / Advantages and Disadvantages to being Bald / Re: Darn! 5 o'clock shadow! on: November 16, 2007, 11:53:13 AM
The SHADOW, the STUBBLE--it's really getting to me. Using the Power Fusion & Headslick it doesn't show up until around 5 or 6 in the evening, but it's bugging me. It's been 5 weeks Sly and I caught myself in the mirror the other night about 10p and I looked like a bald guy with the runway. I wonder if there are any long term MPB Slys who can tell me whether you ever get over the bad feeling when the shadow is there reminding you that you are "small b" bald, I mean I like the shaved head look, until the shadow emphasises the runway reminds me that I'm MPB bald--and I feared that for a long time and obviously still do. Consciously I "accept" the fact, but obviously just below conscious it's still very much there. I realize it's probably only in my mind but it bugs the hell out of me. How long does it take until when you see the "runway" clearly defined by the shadow that you don't panic. Do you just gradually lose the panic about small "b" bald, do you learn to accept it? I'm going to a wedding this weekend and I am already getting concerned about how late I can possibly do the second shaving to avoid the shadow making me look MPB bald rather than a shaved head at the reception.
This probably sounds like the ravings of an idiot, but this really bugs me.
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Dude.... big change. It WILL take time...... that's why we always recommend a 30 day trial period.
You look great shaved...... you're going to kill the ladies...... and you won't be worrying about your rug and if they can tell.
Peace my Friend.........
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Your dome looks great to me. As Koz said, it takes time to get used to such a big change -- and that's what the 30 day rule is all about. You'll probably have moments that you love the new look, followed by moments where you aren't so sure. The reservations will fade with time.
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Mauricio, from one rug wearer to another, there will be regrets, but, this too will pass. You are letting go of something that has been a part of you for many years. What these guys have said is true, it will get better, just wait and see. You honestly do look good, don't worry about it so much and go out and have fun with it. Give it a chance.
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Going Sly is a huge change and an emotional one as well. It'll take a little time for you to adjust, that's why we encourage the 30 day rule. You scalp will adjust too to being shaved, give it some time.
I use HeadBlade's ClearHead after my shave and some recommend witch-hazel. That might help keep the bumps away. You might also not try to get too close, shave with the grain and maybe every other day.
Hang in there bro! O0
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they all speak such sense on here that i have very little to add. You look great: the SLY look and beard suit you. Forget the rug: it's in the past - but it will take time to adjust. hundreds of guys get along without ever wearing a rug, and now you can be one of them. good luck. 8)
As for reading books, I think by far the best thing to do is listen to all the great advice on this site. O0
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I never had a regret about scraping the dome. Had I been a "rug wearer" the thing that I would most definitely regret is all that money I spent on "tupes" over the years that I could have been spending on something fun.
As far as books go might I recommend "Don't Sweat the Small Stuff (and it's all small stuff)" by Richard Carlson, Ph. D.
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Mauricio,
You made the right decision - it looks great. It's common to second-guess a big decision like this, and most of us did the same thing in the beginning. But, as the others have suggested, give it 30 days ... I'm sure you'll find that the freedom and the look are both worth keeping.
Andrew
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u look like a natural. u have made the right decision. keep it shaved for the "30 day rule". it is an "unwritten" rule here at SBGs. the rule states that the new head shaver must keep it shaved for 30 straight days. after the 30 day rule... the new head shaver will decide 2 keep it smooooooth or grow it back. most everyone keeps it smoooooth. enjoy embracing your new look. O0
WARHAWK O0
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You are a very handsome guy with great skin and a great facial profile. You look great shaved. Tonight out at dinner I saw 5 shaved guys in less than 60 seconds while driving home. What does that tell you ?
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short term pain, long term gain.
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Reading a good book of any kind might actually help you to stop thinking about hair/no hair. ;)
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You are working the sly look fine to me bro. Peace.
J to the B
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Not a whole lot more to be said that hasn't been already. You really do pull off the look well...just give it some time.
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I agree with ROB-RAZZ......brother, you look great! Took the wife to New Orleans this week for our anniversary and while in the Quarter, getting a beer at the bar, there were 3 of us {SLY} guys standing shoulder to shoulder....what a hoot when we noticed it. Drank to each other and our wives LOVED it. You are not alone, my friend. Relish the moment and be HAPPY!
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Ditto to all of the above Mauricio. I have a suggestion for you, while going through the transition, play the game of spotting dumb men with rugs. If you can tell they are wearing one then you must come to terms that everyone knew you well also sporting the dreaded rug. Then realize that of those men, you are the intelligent one. You have met Mother Nature head-on. Besides, what's better than beating Mother Nature and looking so damn good in the process? NOTHING!!
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Thank you all for the support. This is tough and I hope that I can soon be on the other end telling someone that it is the best decision I ever made. I know that I have to suck it up and just go for it. To be totally honest, I've done the no hat thing at the beach, a water park, a book store (in a different town), and while driving around. However, I have not been around friends with the sly look. My excuse is that I'm trying to get some color before showing it off. Also, I don't have any bumps except for the top of the horse shoe. On the sides the sly look blends in pretty well but in the back the irritated skin seems to accentuate the MPB. Again, thanks for all of the support. Also, has anyone ever been to a dermatologist regarding razor bumps? I've never really had a problem with razor bumps on my face and I'm wondering if I should continue shaving the irritated area? What about using an electric razor for the sensitive area?
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However, I have not been around friends with the sly look. My excuse is that I'm trying to get some color before showing it off.
It's a big change, huge and to one degree or another we've all been there--IMO that's the benefit of SBG, you've got guys here to answer the questions and to assure you what you're going through is nothing new. I hope you don't think this is too intrusive, but I'm sure your friends knew about the piece, they will probably support you in your decision to be free of it. Take off the hat, be yourself with your friends--the comments you get, and there won't be as many as you think, will be predominately in favor of it. And, unlike some of us your wife is on board. Who among your friends will disagree with her opinion? Glad you have the determination to be free, and we're here to help you through the rough spots.
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Your friends will be supportive; it's perfectly natural to be apprehensive, but it's completely unwarranted. Just confront the problem and face them. It's a little scary, like ripping a bandage off a wound, but it feels a lot better once it's done. It does get easier as time goes by.
With respect to the bumps, keep the affected area clean with an astringent like witch hazel. You might want to shave only every other day until they clear up. Your scalp isn't used to being shaved, so it will take a little while to toughen up. Whatever you may have previously used to secure your hairpiece might also have irritated your skin.
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There is a little saying - -
"Mother nature only created so many perfect heads and the rest she covered in HAIR"
Aren't we the lucky ones - - -
Sly Bald is wonderful and you look GREAT - - -just stay with us
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Hey Mauricio !
Chill ! Relax ! Don't have a needless Male Pattern Bald Cornonary before you're 40 ! Take the 30 day rule. Let your scalp adjust. Don't forget THAT hairsystem forced your natural bald skin in submission for a few years ! Let your bald head FINALLY adjust to its natural stage. I had red spots, sore spots for a few weeks but it went away with the help of Bactine .... no dermatologist needed ! You look awesomely bald !
---Stasiu
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What about using an electric razor for the sensitive area?
Depends on the electric. Get a good quality unit.....Panasonic makes some of the best around. I have an 8243K which I bought on the recommendation of Simply Red in this forum. I have never regretted the purchase. Use a good quality pre-shave lotion. I use Williams Lectric Shave or Mennen Afta Pre-Electric Shave Lotion. Make sure that the unit you buy is a "wet-dry" so that you can use it in the shower and also clean the blades thoroughly after use with any of the lotions, especially the Williams. Put some Dawn dish soap in a cup with some pretty hot water and submerge the shaving head into the hot soapy water while it's running.
I also have a Braun shaver. IMO I think the Braun is made more for the face than for the dome. The Panasonic cuts way closer with less irritation than the Braun but I know that some of the guys here favor Braun.
Normally I'm a blade man because nothing gets as close as a blade. However, if I'm in a hurry or if I have cuts that haven't healed completely the electric comes out. I'm a believer in the old adage "perfection is the enemy of good enough".
ConAir makes something called the Clean Head. Walmart sells it through their online store. It is said to be made specifically for the dome. I've never used one but it has gotten both thumbs up and thumbs down in this forum. It's cheap enough to be worth experimenting with, about $35 I think.
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:/O
You're wacky man. First off, you look great. With that look, you should be able to pull any lady you want. It's all attitude and confidence. You look great with no hair.
Go and meet your friends, dude. Don't wait any longer. Start working on the things you can control.
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However, I have not been around friends with the sly look. My excuse is that I'm trying to get some color before showing it off.
When you're going through a tough time, avoiding your friends is probably a bad idea. Are you really worried they're going to stop being your friends because of your hair? Of course not.
Now there are some groups of guys who relate to each other mainly by teasing each other. Is that what's going on? If your friends are like that, you've given them an obvious target, like any change would, but you should recognize the teasing for what it is—a lot of guys aren't comfortable saying, "Hey that looks great," so the way they acknowledge that they're paying attention is with teasing.
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Usually when a guy shaves his head he can expect some good-natured ribbing from his friends. But I'm guessing that when a guy stops wearing a hairpiece and shaves his head, that most of his friends won't tease him because they'll understand that it wasn't an easy thing to do.
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Fellas, I can't begin to put into words how much your support has meant! This has been the most difficult decision (from an aesthetic point of view) that I have ever made in my life. I hung out with a couple of friends today and they were very supportive and one , who happened to be sly, even asked, "what took you so long?" I am extremely grateful to all of you for your support. As for Nick, although I am a HAPPILY married man, it was definitely an ego boost when a nice looking woman tried to pick me up while I was jogging at the beach. Thanks again guys!
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Glad to hear you had some positive experiences! So how is the wife liking your new look? You took a big step....it will take some getting used to...just like anything new.
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I hung out with a couple of friends today and they were very supportive and one , who happened to be sly, even asked, "what took you so long?"
Told ya. ;)
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I hung out with a couple of friends today and they were very supportive and one , who happened to be sly, even asked, "what took you so long?" I am extremely grateful to all of you for your support. As for Nick, although I am a HAPPILY married man, it was definitely an ego boost when a nice looking woman tried to pick me up while I was jogging at the beach.
Good man, it's tough, but a few more jogs at the beach ;D ;D ;D ought to patch any ego issues. And, it just keeps happening, that's the bonus of sly.
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Isn't it an awesome feeling?? So worried and everything ends up perfect! Sleep better now and enjoy the SLY! Congrats, my friend.
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Yeah, you look fine, man, it suits you.
I'm nearly two weeks in myself, my only regrets are having the stupid hair transplants I had done 20 years ago. It's left my otherwise beautiful head somewhat mutilated. THAT's my biggest regret. You don't have that issue, however.
I just really, really wish that only 20 lousy years ago, going sly was as en vogue and acceptable as it is today. I would've had no problem doing it at all, saved myself 5 grand, and had a nice smooth noggin to show off.
I see hair as an all or nothing deal. You either have a nice full head of it, or, if it wants to leave you, I say to it, don't let the door hit you in the ass on the way out. Just get rid of it if it starts to "leave". It's one or the other. Anything in-between looks goofy to me.
For that matter, anything beats living a lie, having to keep up the appearances, the high maintenance and cost, etc..
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First of all, you look great. And you have got to realize a few things. First of all, its not a big deal to anyone that doesnt know you. You are just another guy that shaves his head, and they dont care. The awkward part is when you meet people that you know. I just got around it by saying, "Hey, what do you think about the new doo?", and made a little joke about it. Doesnt take long to get through most of your friends and acquaintances, and then you are back to mostly strangers, who , once again, dont know or care.
Everyone probably has some amount of regret when they first do it. I know I did. But it wears off, when you start to realize the benefits.
First of all, if its not your natural hair, people always know. I used to notice people snickering around me, but now that I am sly, no one gives me a second look, because it is natural, and accepted. People dont stare at your shadow, or even notice it. You are just being a little sensitive right now, so you are making it something more than it is. I usually shave every morning, but I've gotten to the point that sometimes I go two or three days without shaving if I dont feel like it.
The biggest benefit, is the total freedom it gives you. Before, I was always afraid of doing things with my kids, like going on rides, or swimming, or roughhousing, getting caught in the wind or a blast of air, or a rainstorm. My life seemed to revolve around and even be controlled by my need to preserve my "secret".
Now, I can do ANYTHING I WANT, and never have to worry about it. I can walk in the middle of a storm and not be worried about what is going to happen to my hair, and my kids can crawl all over my head while we are roughhousing without me having the slightest amount of panic. I can go on amusement park rides, drive my new convertible, drive a motorcycle, anything. I have never felt so free and alive, and have done things that I hadnt done in twenty years or more because of my hair. Shaving every morning is a small price to pay for this wonderful freedom, and I will never go back.
I'm sure you will begin to feel that way too, once you get over your initial feelings.
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The biggest benefit, is the total freedom it gives you. Before, I was always afraid of doing things with my kids, like going on rides, or swimming, or roughhousing, getting caught in the wind or a blast of air, or a rainstorm. My life seemed to revolve around and even be controlled by my need to preserve my "secret".
Now, I can do ANYTHING I WANT, and never have to worry about it. I can walk in the middle of a storm and not be worried about what is going to happen to my hair, and my kids can crawl all over my head while we are roughhousing without me having the slightest amount of panic. I can go on amusement park rides, drive my new convertible, drive a motorcycle, anything. I have never felt so free and alive, and have done things that I hadnt done in twenty years or more because of my hair. Shaving every morning is a small price to pay for this wonderful freedom, and I will never go back.
Jerry, you are absolutely right, the freedom is amazing! I too love the freedom of taking my kid to the amusement park and to the pool and not worrying AT ALL about somebody figuring out my secret...truly liberating!! You're also right about the strangers not looking twice. I'll be returning to work from vacation in a couple of weeks and I must admit that that still terrifies me. I'm working to get over it and I have for the most part, but the whole going back to work thing is still on my mind. Thanks for the support guys!!
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I'll be returning to work from vacation in a couple of weeks and I must admit that that still terrifies me. I'm working to get over it and I have for the most part, but the whole going back to work thing is still on my mind. Thanks for the support guys!!
The good news is that it will all be over five minutes after you walk through the door at work on your first day back. I can remember being scared to death facing the office the first time, and I'm sure that many others here had similar experiences. I got a few compliments, no negative comments, and most people didn't seem to notice at all. All in all, it was a huge non-event. I'm sure it will be the same for you.
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I'll be returning to work from vacation in a couple of weeks and I must admit that that still terrifies me. I'm working to get over it and I have for the most part, but the whole going back to work thing is still on my mind. Thanks for the support guys!!
Simple way to fix that. Just send an email to work titled "The New Me", and attach a photo of yourself saying that you are having a great time and decided to try something different. All the hard work will be done, and no one will be shocked when you walk in. I'm sure there will be a few jokes, but I'll bet there will be more compliments than anything.
Funny thing about when I did mine, was that nobody recognized me. I walked into work wearing sunglasses, and they didnt know who I was until I spoke - lol. I've told everyone that if I had known that no one would recognize me, I would have robbed a bank before shaving - lol.
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the whole going back to work thing is still on my mind.
I believe you said you were in education so you have two groups to contend w/, your fellow teachers and the students. Your fellow teachers probably all realized or at least speculated that you had a toupee anyway, and unless there are some real jerks in the crowd, I would think you'd only get compliments or no comments. The students, well that's going to depend on their age. Younger ones are probably going to say something but more than likely overwhelmingly positive because they are raised in a society that not only approves of head shaving but has many role models who are sly. The new movie Expendables is also going to help--many of them will have seen it and you look like you belong in the cast. Older students are also going to be positive for the same reason. But the really great thing is that if you're teaching in a high school there are going to be young guys who are facing mpb and you are for them a positive take on the issue. Just think if you'd had a positive role model as your mpb started that was sly, wouldn't it have been a great support to you as mpb began? Just like your son, those guys this year and hereafter are going to have a positive view of mpb, no guilt or self consciousness--just another alternative as they grow. They won't spend the hours in self-doubt before a mirror because you set a good example of dealing with it up front and personal. Their decision will be taken by choice of shave equipment, and that's a great situation.
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Absolutely, the kids will love it.
It's a very "in" look nowadays, and I've had several people tell me so in fact, and I've only been sly for about a month.
You'll probably be told you look younger too. I have been. The one thing kids don't tolerate today is combovers and toups. That's lame. It also makes you look older or fake.
The freedom is worth any reservations. I too used to plan my life around my "secret", though mine was using Toppik - tons of it. The HTs I had gave me enough hair for it to anchor to, but it was still my slavemaster. So great to be free of that.
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Mauricio.....just brought this post back after seeing your newest avatar picture. You look really happy man! I know you struggled with this for awhile and I just wanted to let you know you made the right decision. O0
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Aloha Mauricio,
You're looking good like a SLY guy should. That's all I can add after the guys above gave you their great confidence building thoughts. Good luck, soon the bumps will be gone, and it will be "smooth" sailing from now on.
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Man, it's only hair. Get over it. The rug made you look like a dumbass. Now you're bold and beautiful and exude confidence. Make that your story and stick to it.
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The problem with a rug is it looks like a rug. Bald looks good on you. The skin problems will go away. Don't give up.
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We put steel on skull every day. Can you be more confident than that? I don't think so.
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I have no regrets. I am happily married, but to illustrate the apparent power of the sly, I offer this story.
I am a very active participant in another well followed forum about composting, gardening, local food, and farming. I changed my profile picture the other day and within a few short minutes I received a private message about my new lack of hair style. She said, "I hope your wife doesn't mind, but you sure do look better than Kojak."
Funny.
Of course, the first thing I did was tell me wife about the e-mail.
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Hey Maurizo,
How´s it going? I shaved my head for the first time ever last Sunday ;) And, I´ll be at a similar stage with you thinking if it´s the right thing, but I had a look in the mirror today and noticed it growing in again - so opted to get that Mach3 out and give it off.
I too have dark hair so got the shadow issue as well and fully expect it to come through tomorrow, but in your photo - you really do look awesome - dome is great, cool shades and you are SMILING ;)
All the best,
Kevin