Sly Bald Guys Forum
Discussions About Being Bald => To be or not be...Bald => Topic started by: Razor X on July 22, 2010, 09:58:33 PM
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Anyone who's ever been on the fence about whether or not to shave his head has come up with a million reasons, some of them quite creative, why he can't do it. We all seem to think that it's an easy and natural decision for everyone else, but one that we just can't -- for whatever reason -- do ourselves. We don't think we can "pull it off" like everyone else can, or that our own specific circumstances prevent us from doing it. Some of the more common excuses:
1. My head is too big/wrong shape
2. I'm too thin/pale and I'll look like a cancer patient
3. I'm too fat and need to get in shape before I can shave
4. My wife/girlfriend won't like it. If I were single, I'd try it in a heartbeat
5. I won't be attractive to the opposite sex. If I were married or in a relationship, I'd try it in a heartbeat
6. It might be frowned upon at work
7. I have a full head of hair; if I were already balding, shaving my head would be a lot risky because I wouldn't have anything more to lose
8. I've already lost a lot of hair; if I shave it off it might not all grow back. If I had a full head of hair, shaving my head would be a lot less risky becuase I could grow it back at any time.
Feel free to add any more excuses you can think of to the list. At the end of the day, none of them is valid. Nothing is stopping you from shaving your head except YOU. The sky will not fall and the world will not end if you shave your head. The vast majority of people simply won't give a damn.
So, in short, if you've ever asked yourself the question, should I shave my head? -- then the answer is YES, because the question wouldn't come up if you didn't want to give it a try.
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Great post razor.
This is really just an extension of what goes on in society a lot these days. Excuses for everything.
No more excuses Gentlemen...... man up!
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So true razor!! 1,3,5 and 7 ALL related to me and i'm sure so many others! In the end i just did what i felt was right ;-)
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I resemble several of those. It's the inertia of misery, and the laws of motion apply.
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You tell 'em Razor!!
I can relate to #3 in the way that I shaved my head first so I would have to get into shape so as not to be the bald headed fat guy. A little extra motivation to get me in the gym in the mornings. Still working on the getting into shape part of it though.
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Great post Razor,
I'm a 1,3,4,5,6.
Since I wore a rug - personally I would have to add "I can't get out of my contract for another 6 months", and "But all the TV ads for hair replacement options tell me that beautiful people have hair and that guys with hair get all the girls", and "I'll look older".
One of the best decisions I've ever was to shave my head. And I shaved thanks to all the support from this group!
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I had no problem regards excuses about why not to shave. I needed no encouragement at all! 8) My excuses were more to do with why I shaved, when people asked me...
"Because I'm receding"
"It's just for the summer" :/O
"It's quite fashionable" 8)
"I forgot to put the comb on the hair trimmer..." ^-^
Four years later I need no excuses and everyone is cool with it, so my 'excuse' has turned into a reason, plain and simple: 'Because I like it" 8)
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Good post Razor! O0
Sometimes I just want to say... "shut up, man up and shave your head"! :*))
...but that wouldn't be polite! ::)
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hey razor: that was an excellent post. thanks 4 sharing. i can relate to #1 but i still love my big sly dome. 8) O0
WARHAWK O0
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When I looked at a bald guy or a guy with a shaved head I have no negative feelings toward him at all. But somehow when I starting shaving my own head I was thinking oh no, this can't be happening to me, i will look aweful with a shaved head. Funny because up to that point I had never seen a guy I thought didn't look good simply because of his shaved head. :/O :/O Well, thank God those days are gone.
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Outstanding post, thank you very much.
Yes I know No.4.
But in reality it has been a non-event.
Going from short buzzed to shaved has got just few critical comments.
My wife does not like it, but she tolerates.
J
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Mine didn't like it at first either. Now she does. But all the other ladies love it !!
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Add:
Shaving my head will be a chore.
Boy, was I ever wrong about that one--it's one of my favorite parts of my morning routine.
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Good post Razor - - -and we can all relate to it
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I can relate to all of these reasons......bottom line is that are no real excuses for not getting your head shaved. If you are thinking about then you should just do & be done with it. It's the best choice I ever made concerning my image.
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I'll add one: fear of the unknown.
For several months I had the 'itch' to shave my head along with the 'itch' to leave my career and start something new, but the fear of how other people would respond to my new image, appearance and career was stronger than the itch.
I can control how other people respond to me with the image I have because it is familiar and sends messages that are familar too. The fear of losing that was very strong. I have no idea how they will respond to the new self. I can't control that.
But then the 'itch' began to take over and finally the balance shifted - so that now I am more worried about staying in my old routine! That was when I took the new job and started seriously considering getting rid of my hair.
And it did take some time.
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For a guy trying to find the courage because I am slowly losing hair
I can relate to number one plus these are my list of additions
- The fear of being the butt of jokes by family and friends
- Being single can I pull it off and will I find that special someone
- I have a hair transplant scar I will look like a freak
I also believe the biggest one was the first one. Plus I am only 33 its almost the fear of shaving my head for the next fifty years (if I last that long) as I dont see many guys my age with a clean head or not where I live and work
I see so many confident guys on here and I dont know how to break down the walls of my own psyche (I worry so much what other people think)
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For a guy trying to find the courage because I am slowly losing hair
I can relate to number one plus these are my list of additions
- The fear of being the butt of jokes by family and friends
- Being single can I pull it off and will I find that special someone
- I have a hair transplant scar I will look like a freak
I also believe the biggest one was the first one. Plus I am only 33 its almost the fear of shaving my head for the next fifty years (if I last that long) as I dont see many guys my age with a clean head or not where I live and work
I see so many confident guys on here and I dont know how to break down the walls of my own psyche (I worry so much what other people think)
People who care about you are never going to ridicule you.
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For a guy trying to find the courage because I am slowly losing hair
I can relate to number one plus these are my list of additions
- The fear of being the butt of jokes by family and friends
- Being single can I pull it off and will I find that special someone
- I have a hair transplant scar I will look like a freak
I also believe the biggest one was the first one. Plus I am only 33 its almost the fear of shaving my head for the next fifty years (if I last that long) as I dont see many guys my age with a clean head or not where I live and work
I see so many confident guys on here and I dont know how to break down the walls of my own psyche (I worry so much what other people think)
People who care about you are never going to ridicule you.
I know you are right and I expect the initial ribbing one might expect. Plus the query of the scar on my head will cause some anxiety
I have hid the hair loss well from everyone except one friend. I often feel the desire to talk to family and my best mate about it. I would love to shave it off and be free and to ride my motorcycle and live again. I need to get my head around it all... how long did it take everyone to take that next step... and did everyone recognise themselves in the mirror and was there any anxiety or remorse
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I have hid the hair loss well from everyone except one friend. I often feel the desire to talk to family and my best mate about it. I would love to shave it off and be free and to ride my motorcycle and live again. I need to get my head around it all... how long did it take everyone to take that next step... and did everyone recognise themselves in the mirror and was there any anxiety or remorse
You have to accept the fact that you have hidden your hair loss from no one--they just like you too much to mention what you've done. Get shaved, get on the bike, live again. It only takes about 20 minutes once you recognise that you are what's holding you back from living. You can be free.
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As with many other things that we're afraid of in this life, the anticipation of the event is far worse than the reality. When it's all over, you'll be asking yourself what you were so afraid of.
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You have to accept the fact that you have hidden your hair loss from no one--they just like you too much to mention what you've done.
Very true. I knew for years that my hair was going but I was convinced that it wasn't that noticeable to others (and for a while that was true). But now I look back at old photos and wonder how I could ever have deluded myself.
I also remember one time, in my pre-sly days, getting involved in a conversation with a couple of co-workers. One guy was a few years younger than me, with a full-blown horseshoe. He made a comment about "us bald guys" -- referring to himself and me -- and I was really mortified to be considered in the bald category. I think that was the first time I had confirmation that my secret wasn't such a secret any more.
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Once again you guys speak the truth
I often stand in front of the mirror and try and see myself with sweet 0 hair however everyone tells me you cannot tell at all until you do it
Why am I so scared! Actually I do know its my internal demons dreaming up bad thoughts. Plus this scar guys I am still trying to bust out of the depression stage and get onto the acceptance stage but I am getting there
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Once again you guys speak the truth
I often stand in front of the mirror and try and see myself with sweet 0 hair however everyone tells me you cannot tell at all until you do it
Why am I so scared! Actually I do know its my internal demons dreaming up bad thoughts. Plus this scar guys I am still trying to bust out of the depression stage and get onto the acceptance stage but I am getting there
Nate keep trying to deal with your issues bro! You can do it! O0
Let me tell you I deal with depression/anxiety everyday still, but, by gosh nobody is going to keep me from shaving my hair! .... scar or no scar, implants, big dumbo ears, or big cone shaped skull. :Xo!
About the mirror part: Honestly, sometimes I can't empathize with onthe fence member's apprehensions about going sly. It was so easy to me 11 years ago. And it's as mundane as brushing my teeth today. One day I was MPB and the next day I was Sly, simple as that. But that doesn't keep me from supporting you guys. It's all about your decision, if your being true to yourself, it's all good then.
I hope you can not let that negative internal thought "deter" that strong "sly" guy that's wanting to burst out.
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Once again you guys speak the truth
I often stand in front of the mirror and try and see myself with sweet 0 hair however everyone tells me you cannot tell at all until you do it
Why am I so scared! Actually I do know its my internal demons dreaming up bad thoughts. Plus this scar guys I am still trying to bust out of the depression stage and get onto the acceptance stage but I am getting there
Nate keep trying to deal with your issues bro! You can do it! O0
I hope you can not let that negative internal thought "deter" that strong "sly" guy that's wanting to burst out.
Cheers mate. It is tough and I guess some people are affected with hair loss more so then others. Some just go fk it and flip it the bird. For me I think its due to my conservative upbringing thats what has seen this roller coaster ride of emotions this past 4-5 years. I am by no means bald but while I have coverage somewhat I want to buzz it off so low I can see my head shape and also maybe it will be passable... this way when mpb really takes over there is no big deal going sly as its less of a transition (again my conservatism coming out)
New Zealand says hello to everyone out there!
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Cheers mate. It is tough and I guess some people are affected with hair loss more so then others. Some just go fk it and flip it the bird. For me I think its due to my conservative upbringing thats what has seen this roller coaster ride of emotions this past 4-5 years. I am by no means bald but while I have coverage somewhat I want to buzz it off so low I can see my head shape and also maybe it will be passable... this way when mpb really takes over there is no big deal going sly as its less of a transition (again my conservatism coming out)
New Zealand says hello to everyone out there!
You have been dealing with these emotions for 4-5 years. Take the plunge and shave it off and A.) You realize you love the look and wish you had saved yourself the trouble years earlier or B.) You don't like it....and you grow your hair back out....which may take a couple of weeks. Neither choice seems too bad compared to the 4-5 year rollercoaster you have been on. As far as the scar, I truly believe you are making more of that than you need to. There are tons of scars on peoples heads from numerous things....fights, accidents, those damn kitchen cabinet doors!!, and yes from hair grafts. That scar doesnt make you who you are....but you can help make who you are by being a lot happier guy. I for one am rooting for you!!
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Cheers Rob
Thats the sort of thing I need to ram into my thick skull
I will get there I promise everyone... I just have to grow some balls
I am definitely moving out of the depression stage soon to be acceptance (if not now). I know what I gotta do. Im one of those guys that needs to obsess over something (like shaving head) and over a long time I will finally get sick of myself that I will do it
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I I am by no means bald but while I have coverage
You're approaching and may have already gotten to a combover, w/o a picture it's hard to tell. At combover time, your hair time is over--unless you want to look that way--I hated it, but to be honest it was about 7 months from the realization it had to go til it went-and I kick myself that I waited so long. Don't make my mistake, don't regret waiting so long.
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As with many other things that we're afraid of in this life, the anticipation of the event is far worse than the reality. When it's all over, you'll be asking yourself what you were so afraid of.
Can't say it any better than that. So true. I think back about how much time I have spent worrying about things that never happened. It's all about living in the moment and appreciating life. And not letting what others think control your life and your actions.
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I guess the biggest thing for me which is another issue is everyone says you dont recognise recognise yourself in the mirror and that scares me
Which is why I am trying to think about it so when I do it I will have no regrets
I would imagine everyone needs to be in the right frame of mind as I can imagine alot of guys outside of this forum who went sly who do not have the confidence to deal with it just yet might spiral downward into more depression
Not trying to be negative here just trying to put another spin on being mentally on top of your game before you do it or is it the complete opposite
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I guess the biggest thing for me which is another issue is everyone says you dont recognise recognise yourself in the mirror and that scares me
COMPLETE OPPOSITE--the "Who's the dude in the mirror?" isn't frightening, actually when you see the new you there is almost an immediate relief of being rid of the dying mop and how nice you look--different, yes but very nice, you see the tan line a little different, and learn about the shadow, but that stuff goes away quickly. What replaces it is a tremendous feeling of freedom, absolutely overwhelming sense that the chains are off, and within a very short time you realize you're looking for a reflective surface to see how great you look--really. You find you hand going up to feel the soft smooth surface of your scalp--very reassuring. No, as I posted on the other thread, the only thing you will regret is waiting so long to do it--that's it.
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Can I just ask you saint and everyone here what age did you start balding and how long did it take you (along the balding path) to say enough is enough
When is that point of enjoy your hair until.... how far along if you can go back would you have shaved what is that point
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Can I just ask you saint and everyone here what age did you start balding and how long did it take you (along the balding path) to say enough is enough
When is that point of enjoy your hair until.... how far along if you can go back would you have shaved what is that point
Oh, to my mind, I didn't think it started until my early 30's when my oldest daughter, about 3-4 said, "Look Mommy, Daddy's got a hole in his head!" But, after I shaved, a friend, a very good friend and one the most long standing, said, "Well you were losing it in your 20's, but it wasn't really fast!" Then, there were oblique comments by the barber--"This will make it look fuller." I was in denial that it was bad, not withstanding having the shower clog w/ hair, etc. and I slipped into a combover and nearly into two hairlines. I should have done it in my 40's, but I stuck with it until I was 61, just about 62. I really could kick myself, my only excuse--it wasn't as acceptable in those days. But, there are guys here who've been clean for 10 years or more and that tells me I didn't really face this down like I should have, and they are my heros regarding mpb. If I wasn't such a cheap skate I might have done a toupee or even plugs--a saving grace I guess of being a tight-wad. But, I am, as one guy I know who went sly in his early thirties said, an "Ambassador of Shaved Heads." Like everyone here, and as you will soon find out, you only really regret not doing it sooner, that's the only thing that you regret ultimately.
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Can I just ask you saint and everyone here what age did you start balding and how long did it take you (along the balding path) to say enough is enough
When is that point of enjoy your hair until.... how far along if you can go back would you have shaved what is that point
Sure Nate:
I started when I was about 19 with a bald spot started to show, and I got to where I couldn't grow my hair without it looking like a bowl. I started buzzing it around 25 and then around 32 1999,my nephew went Sly which only then it hit me: If I buzz I gotta clean all this hair up and I still have a patchy head left that shows I have a genetic defect. I was MPB one day and Sly the next.
I personally have never thought about I should've done it sooner. I just did it and moved forward. I skip that and am more analytical about why we men have this hair loss in the first place, and some men have a head full of hair all their life, and some slowly lose a little until they are old and gray. Hey if every man had this life would be a little easier wouldn't it?
I have heard that bald guys are more manly. I usually see guys with a head full of hair and I think of them as "girly" men, less testosterone than me.
I have no shortage of muscle tone for that matter. lol
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Guess everyone is different but I am pretty lean
Guys with bald heads and muscle tend to look really good or taller
5"8 and lean :S
Full of excuses
Going to talk to my best mate today I need to confide in someone for support (outside of this forum which has been fantastic over the past few days and I hope to continue to draw support from all the brave in here)
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I really could kick myself, my only excuse--it wasn't as acceptable in those days.
@Saintc
I think by the time (1999) I went Sly it was close to when the popularity was on the rise.
Makes it easier this day and time for sure.
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Alot of you guys look awesome. All I should say
Its that whole case of if I did it my head shape I would look like a tool. Looking in the mirror I really dont have the head shape its not slim and oval :(
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Alot of you guys look awesome. All I should say
Its that whole case of if I did it my head shape I would look like a tool. Looking in the mirror I really dont have the head shape its not slim and oval :(
You're overthinking this, you want to do it, you itch to do it, just do it--tonight! Really.
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I have a scar of war on my head :( I am super self conscious plus need to grow some thicker skin as I know I will get huge ribbing from my family
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I have a scar of war on my head :( I am super self conscious plus need to grow some thicker skin as I know I will get huge ribbing from my family
You are really doing everything we all have done, but at the end of the day--more probably the beginning of the day--you must try this. You obviously want to so if you have a clipper, take the guard off, take it down the center clean everything off. Then go for a long--20-30 minute walk or go to the gym--sweat it out a little. Then, shower, shampoo, take a good lather, a new real--i.e. not a disposable blade, then down the center- take your time clean it up. Then what--
?????????????????????????????????????????????????
Live free, it will be the best most liberating sensation of you life. Just do it--you won't regret, we promise. Start August 7, 2010 as a proud sly bald man, leave the small b balding you behind--get your life together--live.
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I honestly believe I wont not at the beginning get to a shave or not for a while
It will be more likely shave down to a 2 or 3 then get used to it then transition from there
I know this is holding onto false hope but I cannot help it... but I figure if these scientists figure out how to regrow hair naturally then that would be a bridge I might cross later. But no more invasive surgery for me
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I guess the biggest thing for me which is another issue is everyone says you dont recognise recognise yourself in the mirror and that scares me
COMPLETE OPPOSITE--the "Who's the dude in the mirror?" isn't frightening, actually when you see the new you there is almost an immediate relief of being rid of the dying mop and how nice you look--different, yes but very nice, you see the tan line a little different, and learn about the shadow, but that stuff goes away quickly. What replaces it is a tremendous feeling of freedom, absolutely overwhelming sense that the chains are off, and within a very short time you realize you're looking for a reflective surface to see how great you look--really. You find you hand going up to feel the soft smooth surface of your scalp--very reassuring. No, as I posted on the other thread, the only thing you will regret is waiting so long to do it--that's it.
Exactly. I can remember one time being in a store paying for my purchases and seeing a bald guy a short distance away and thinking, "Now there's a nice dome" before I realized that I was looking at a mirrored wall. :D
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It honestly never ceases to amaze me how you guys embrace this look and move forward like a tidal wave
I am trying to break down my own barriers but its tough
Not that this is a pre-requisite but i am going to hit the gym and tone up and shape up. Unfortunately I am still a fence sitter but I am taking a few deep breathes and getting my head in order before taking that step into freedom
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Not that this is a pre-requisite but i am going to hit the gym and tone up and shape up. Unfortunately I am still a fence sitter but I am taking a few deep breathes and getting my head in order before taking that step into freedom
That's a common phenom for guys going sly--it's sort of like they're reassessing their personal appearance and doing something that not only improves their appearance but is great for their overall health and happiness. You're going to notice a lot of sly guys at the gym--they do seem to be a matched set. I am never the only sly at my gym, no matter when I go. There are usually 5 or 6 while I'm there. Go for it---it will also ease a lot of your tension.
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It honestly never ceases to amaze me how you guys embrace this look and move forward like a tidal wave
I am trying to break down my own barriers but its tough
Not that this is a pre-requisite but i am going to hit the gym and tone up and shape up. Unfortunately I am still a fence sitter but I am taking a few deep breathes and getting my head in order before taking that step into freedom
Well once you do shave you might wonder what it was that worried you so much.
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only then it hit me: If I buzz I gotta clean all this hair up and I still have a patchy head left that shows I have a genetic defect. I was MPB one day and Sly the next.
I personally have never thought about I should've done it sooner. I just did it and moved forward.
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JB Good, Great that you were able to move form MPB to bald quickly. Not meaning to be critical, but I never thought of MPB as a "genetic defect". Rather, I think it's more of just a different gene that gives men MPB. So, it's more like getting blue or brown eyes. Granted, this MPB gene "kicks in" at different age levels, which makes it different than the eye color gene. But, it's not like a disease or defect that will directly alter a man's ability to function. Society's attitude about MPB and some men's reaction to that may affect their lives, but I never heard of someone dying directly as a result of MPB....so i don't think of MPB as a defect. It's more like a genetic trait. I do think the "hair restoration" industry wants men to think of MPB as a defect or disease that needs to be cured or fixed. Really, since most men eventually have some baldness, it's really quite normal. If men stay physically fit, take care of their bodies, then society should not think of bald men as unfit.