Sly Bald Guys Forum
Head Shaving, Grooming & Care => Miscellaneous => Topic started by: baldtribesman on July 18, 2010, 11:05:07 AM
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Guys as most of you know I have a self image problem when I look in the mirror I see an ugly guy staring back, please again I ask you for the second time, analyze my face how do I look. I do not need insincere compliments I want a real assesment. Because quite frankly I have been striking out with the ladies and I feel that if I looked better I would have better experiences with the ladies, I am 36 by the way. Please offer your candid and truthful analysis.
Thank you
Fred
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My brutally honest assessment is that it's not your face that is the issue. I'm willing to bet that it's the fact that you don't think your face is fine that's the problem. You are likely projecting that negativity, and that's where the strike outs occur.
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I agree with BootedBear!
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agreed. it's all starts with your own perception of yourself and self confidence. so get back out there knowing you're the man O0
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I think Bear nailed it but I would add this..... simply.... women love confident, funny, men. Also, even though there is some segment of the American women's population that like men that are more feminine... I still believe that the vast majority of American women prefer men that are more masculine...... and maybe even a little old fashioned in some aspects.
So.......... be confident, humble, humorous, & polite. Also.... show no desperation where women are involved. They can smell desperation on us men as if it were last weeks garbage.
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Guys as most of you know I have a self image problem when I look in the mirror I see an ugly guy staring back, please again I ask you for the second time, analyze my face how do I look. I do not need insincere compliments I want a real assesment. Because quite frankly I have been striking out with the ladies and I feel that if I looked better I would have better experiences with the ladies, I am 36 by the way. Please offer your candid and truthful analysis.
Thank you
Fred
Here's a candid analysis -- beating yourself up over your appearance is not productive. We can all make ourselves look better by the way we dress, cut our hair, keeping in shape, etc., but the rest is more or less beyond our control. So people may give you the "real assessment" you seek, but then what? What are you going to do about it? We look the way we look. Do what you can to look your best and let it go at that.
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BEAR is correct! I have ALWAYS been 2nd fiddle to my best friend so far as looks are concerned...he is a handsome dude---NOT tooting my own horn, but, I ALWAYS had more gilrs, women, chicks....etc......He will be the first to tell you this. IT IS CONFIDENCE---not made up CONFIDENCE---it is what you are---or become through what you have experienced or how YOU GROW! My brother, you have what it takes----it is what is in your head and not what is on it that makes the last mile.
I let the hair "situation" hold me back from a lot of things I enjoyed--ie, water skiing, diving, having to have an HOUR to get my hair ready to do some things...NO LONGER. Be yourself---be strong, be understanding, be happy. You are a nice looking guy---Try a smile and an upbeat attitude and face the world as YOU! You can do it, my brother.
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OK, when I look at your photo I see a guy with a friendly face and smile, not ugly or creepy.
With regard to your posts I get the impression that I am reading something written by a guy who has a thirst for knowledge and wisdom. Not only do you ask the questions but you listen to the answers. I also think that you are intelligent on a different level than I or most people I am acquainted with.
So far so good.
One point that I have to mention has to do with what is going on in your photo. Specifically the Star Trek thing with your left hand. Don't get me wrong, Star Trek was and is a great show (the Shatner/Nimoy years, I've never seen the new ones). It's OK to love that show. It's normal.
Me, I'm a big Eastwood/Dirty Harry fan. If I were single today and went out somewhere and met a woman and started a conversation and suddenly dropped "Go ahead, make my day" or "do you feel lucky, punk?" on her do you suppose that I would have much success after that? Maybe, but she would either have to be a GIANT Eastwood fan or I would have to BE Clint Eastwood. And since I'm not Clint Eastwood I would be a cheap knockoff and she would know this and that's when things would start to get creepy. But if she is a major fan of Eastwood we have something in common that might lead me to what it is I seek.
Do you follow my drift?
Look for women with whom you feel comfortable being you. If you have to keep an important part of who you are hidden then the relationship is built on a lie by omission. Lie to no one, brother. Just find the right people to hang with.
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I think the sly brotherhood has nailed it. Start looking at the inside and beginning by liking what you are seeing and then the rest of the world will start responding. Keep your chin up!
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Dude, you are not ugly and I think you know it. The bear is right! O0
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I don't see anything wrong with you, I think your knocking yourself down for no reason. You need to start feeling good about yourself. Instead of looking for the bad, turn it around and look for all the good qualities you have. Each day just write down something good about yourself and say it over and over to yourself all day. Eventually you will get to love the guy looking at you in the mirror. Avoid the negative and look instead for the positive in everything and everyone. You'll feel better.
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Have to agree with all the gents here. Take their comments to heart, and if that doesn't work, be grateful that you don't have my ugly mug instead! :)
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The guys are dealing w/ you as you requested, you're not ugly, not pretty either--but then would you want to be "pretty?" Seriously, a man's appearance, provided he's otherwise physically clean and dressed appropriately, don't seem to affect their luck w/ the ladies. Examples abound, but some notables whose way with the fairer sex is a historic fact--Ben Franklin for example. Absolutely horrible in appearance, he had a skullet before Jesse Ventura, but his effects on women are part of history, French, English and American. He even gave advice to others on their relationships w/ women. Take a look at his Advice to a Young Man on the Choice of a Mistress (1745), http://www.swarthmore.edu/SocSci/bdorsey1/41docs/51-fra.html. Casanova wasn't anything much to look at from the records either. Get the picture?
Women really get into the "relationship" men get into sex. Learning how to answer their needs while working toward ours is done by getting out of ourselves. It's tricky, but the process can be fun if you let it. Remember, everyone likes to talk about themselves, and for the man, it means concentrating exclusively on her. She'll love it when she's the object of the conversation.
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Brutally honest? OK! Reading your post I want to find you and kick you in the ass! Come on Brother, stop fixating on yourself and what you think you look like. Concentrate on what you have and not what you think you don't have.
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O0 The Bros have it right, especially Bootedbear and Razor X. I see a friendly guy. You might let the goat grow in a bit more--and smile. Professor Melon
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You look great bro I think you need to stop beating your self up because if you don't love yourself than how is anyone else spose to?
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Go to the gym. Working out will do you some good as an image booster. I'm not suggesting that you are over weight or that your body is flabby, I can't tell by the picture either way. I'm just saying that most people have a more positive outlook on their physical appearance when they exercise routinely or on a daily basis.
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Go to the gym. Working out will do you some good as an image booster. I'm not suggesting that you are over weight or that your body is flabby, I can't tell by the picture either way. I'm just saying that most people have a more positive outlook on their physical appearance when they exercise routinely or on a daily basis.
great point O0
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There are plenty of folks out there that will be happy to put you down, so don't help them out any. You look like a good fellow with a fine shaved head. Take it from one who spent way too much of their life worried about other's opinions, enjoy yourself. If you can't pull yourself out of this feeling, seek some professional help. I don't worry about the folks that go to the therapist, its the ones that need help and refuse to get it that concern me.
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Man if my ugly mug can find a woman, anyone can find a mate. In previous post I assume that you are a man of faith. God has a plan for you. Be patient. Don't change because you aren't in a relationship. You are who you are and someone will love you because of it.
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Guys as most of you know I have a self image problem when I look in the mirror I see an ugly guy staring back, please again I ask you for the second time, analyze my face how do I look. I do not need insincere compliments I want a real assesment. Because quite frankly I have been striking out with the ladies and I feel that if I looked better I would have better experiences with the ladies, I am 36 by the way. Please offer your candid and truthful analysis.
Thank you
Fred
You're not ugly.
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Do you have to keep the goatee? Women aren't nearly as focused on your physical appearance as you might think. Just keep swinging Brother!
My wife was looking over my shoulder and wanted to weigh in as well. Her advice was to make sure you're not being too pushy with the ladies. Most of all be respectful.
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Your looks are fine man. But it seems your confidence must be built up. It is built in small and big steps.
Sometimes a sports victory, a good day at work, or an event builds up your confidence in a big way;
sometimes it's built up over time by dedicating yourself to a hobby, educational goal or project.
But if you don't have it, women know; they don't read it in a textbook or magazine, they can sense it through millennia of evolution.
I don't know what will do it for you, but here's what makes me feel good and confident. Going to the gym, hearing a great rock show, excelling at work and finishing a big project or helping someone in need. Spending time with friends and family (if you get along with them!!).
Let your happiness and confidence show (but don't be a jerk!), this will make you seem like you could have her, but don't need her. It makes you sit up straighter and look people in the eye while giving a genuine smile.
One friend gave sage wisdom when he said, "Just don't talk more than necessary and exude confidence."
Women like to hear about themselves, find a subject that she can just go to town on and she will feel comfortable.
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One thing I've come to realize somewhat recently is, looks really aren't as important to women as they are to men. They simply don't think in the same terms as us. Confidence, being interesting, humorous, and charming (and good hygiene!) are what attract women.
IOW, it's how you make them feel, not what you look like like, so much.
Let me introduce you to the PUA community, you might learn a lot from these guys!
www.stylelife.com
Also, go pick up the book "The Game" by Neil Strauss.
Not that looks don't count at all, but they're just not as high up the scale as you would think. So long as you project that you are a guy who takes care of himself, and cares about his image, you're good to go. Dress well, keep yourself groomed, and be mature, while keeping it fun. That's the key.
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This is helpful to read. I'm taking the Big Step next week and my hair will be gone by next Friday night. I don't know how women will see my new identity (the unspoken question for me). My ex said it wouldn't matter - but these days she doesn't really care one way or the other about what I do. ;D
So these posts are a big help.
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Bear got it right. You need to see yourself in a better light. You have asked for opinions and from what I can see there are a couple of pages of very positive comments. Believe them and be confident about who you are. O0
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well what can i say that has not already been beating into submission. For me and possibly you what i did was to simple sit in front of said mirror and love the person i am before worrying about what others see me to be. stop seeing what other might see and show what you want others to know. as it has been said "Confidence" make that your morning mantra. Make it a part of you always not just when your trying to pick up that ladies. Be you but also let them tell you who they are. A good ear goes a long way towards finding common ground. if you can't naturally find the common things don't force it and Don't expect it either.