Sly Bald Guys Forum
New Member Section => Introductions => Topic started by: Loganomic on June 19, 2010, 07:48:57 PM
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First off, I want to say that finding this website/forum has been nothing short of "Damn, this is exactly what I need!" Thank you just for existing, and thank you for having such an active, supportive crew of members.
So, here's my story:
I'm Logan, 23-years-old, and from New Jersey. I started losing a great deal of hair around 19 or 20, nearly all in my temples. At the time, I was overwhelmingly anxious and depressed about going bald so early. However, it slowed down two years into the process, leaving me with a hairline that strongly resembles my father's. Although he has a thick head of hair aside from the M-shaped hairline, he has been sly voluntarily for the past ten years. Since it didn't seem to be doing anything else, I was relieved and accepted that my hairline is just exactly like my dad's.
Last summer, I was battling with fears about losing my hair. It seemed to me that my hair, especially in the front, was thinning. I've never been one for vanity, but I also don't consider myself to be a very attractive guy, and balding in my early 20's just seems like a death sentence to any dating that I might possibly experience. Do women my age find balding men attractive? I know they do, but I worry that they don't. I don't want to be the bald, unattractive brother (I have two brothers with good head's of hair.) I don't want to be that overweight, bald stereotype. It's become quite a bit of an obsession, and researching information on male pattern baldness now takes up a significant amount of time when I'm online. I've battled with thoughts of whether I should try Rogaine or a oral medication to inhibit DHT production, just to keep the hair that I have. All other forums I've come across actively encourage members to get on this medications as soon as possible; it makes hair loss out to be a death sentence. It made me feel like going bald is something to be ashamed of.
Around the same time, I was also having medical problems at the same time that took months to get properly diagnosed. I finally was diagnosed with a autoimmune inflammatory disease within my urinary system. Currently, there is only one FDA-approved drug for treatment, and when my doctor was prescribing it to me, she informed me that one of the potential side effects was alopecia. I remember thinking that that as a ridiculous reason for me to not try the medication - it could possibly stop me from being in practically crippling pain, and I told her, without even a hint of caring about whether I lost my hair, "That's alright. I'm probably going to lose it anyway." On that day, I stopped caring if I lwent bald. The medication ended up putting me into a full medical remission, and I've been symptom-free and pain-free for several months now. And now I'm worried, anxious, and depressed again about losing my hair. I think it is becoming a problem again because my life has returned to normal. I've returned back to obsessing over it, researching Rogaine and DHT-inhibitors, and going to forums.
I came upon Sly Bald Guys by accident, and, literally, guys, it's been a freaking breath of fresh air. For the time being, I'm keeping my hair fairly close-cropped (as I always have) because I'm not ready to accept it. I still have self-esteem issues surrounding the whole subject when it comes to myself. I would, ideally, love to keep my hair... but the medications, surgeries, hair pieces... They don't seem like a plausible option to me at all. I'm already on medications involuntarily so I can live my life without pain; I don't want to add more to the mix, especially ones that are so expensive. I'd much rather go on vacation! But I can't seem to stop being so self conscious about going bald. I know that learning and embracing the confidence all you guys have is something I definitely aspire to have. I've had self-esteem issues all my life, especially about my appearance. How is it something that you guys have learned to accept?
Thanks again for such an awesome forum. It's something that I really needed to find.
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Shaving Bald, to you, can't be anything more than a bad hair cut. Just do it. If you would rather be like you are now, it will grow back. Just like a bad hair cut.
BTW, welcome, you have post #1 and reply #1 Hope to see you around here again.
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I'm Logan, 23-years-old, and from New Jersey. I started losing a great deal of hair around 19 or 20, nearly all in my temples. At the time, I was overwhelmingly anxious and depressed about going bald so early. However, it slowed down two years into the process, leaving me with a hairline that strongly resembles my father's. Although he has a thick head of hair aside from the M-shaped hairline, he has been sly voluntarily for the past ten years. Since it didn't seem to be doing anything else, I was relieved and accepted that my hairline is just exactly like my dad's.
MPB has a tendency to stop and start. You go through phases where you seem to lose a lot and then it seems to stop for a while.
My dad has had the M-shaped hairline all his life. There are pictures of him when he was five years old and he had it even then. Mine started to recede when I was about 20. That's when I noticed it; it probably had been drifting back for a year or two before that. This was back in the 80s, when parted-in-the-middle, feathered back hair was in vogue. :-[ :-[ As such, I wasn't used to seeing my hairline every day, and when I noticed the M formation, I managed to delude myself into thinking that it had been that way all along like my dad's and I just hadn't noticed due to the way it was styled. Wrong! It had begun a very slow but steadily progressive retreat.
I don't want to be that overweight, bald stereotype.
Then don't be. Bald is beyond your control -- and it may be a long way off, but you have to face the fact that if you're already losing hair at 19 then it's a near certainty that eventually you're going to lose most of your hair. That doesn't mean that you're going to turn into George Costanza or Danny Devito. That part, at least, is within your control -- and the way you prevent that from happening is to shave your head completely and make a commitment to stay in the best physical shape possible. You don't have to be Costanza or Devito; instead you can be Chris Daughtry or Vin Diesel. That's not such a bad thing. ^-^
I know that learning and embracing the confidence all you guys have is something I definitely aspire to have. I've had self-esteem issues all my life, especially about my appearance. How is it something that you guys have learned to accept?
Thanks again for such an awesome forum. It's something that I really needed to find.
Most of us have had self-esteem issues at one time or another. I think the ability to get over it comes with maturity. It stops being a big deal after a while, especially when you get a little older and see more and more of your friends starting to go through the same thing. Eventually you learn to stop obsessing over what you can't control. Keeping yourself fit is the key to maintaining a youthful look; it's about 75% of the battle. If you've got a good physique, plenty of women will find you attractive. You don't have to be a pretty boy.
Losing your hair sucks. This probably isn't what you want to hear right now, but if nature is allowed to take its course, your hair eventually starts looking so bad that you find yourself looking forward to being completely bald and being rid of it for once and for all. It's a relief, in a way, once it's all gone because you can stop worrying about it. The best advice I can offer you is to short-circuit the whole process and shave your head before it gets to that point. You may not be ready to do it now, but do it sooner rather than later. It's kind of scary at first, but as anyone here will tell you, things improve considerably almost immediately, once you shave it off.
We all have a mental image of what we think we're "supposed" to look like, but life has a way of throwing us curve balls. When I was 19 I thought I was supposed to look like Michael J. Fox, but things didn't quite work out that way. :D A completely bald dome was never part of the plan, but it hasn't turned out to be such a bad thing. Even though it's not what I had in mind when I was younger, I've come to really enjoy not having hair and would not ever want to go back to having it.
Why don't you get a buzz cut for the summer? It helps you to learn not to hide behind your hair, and once you get used to the low maintenance you won't want to go back.
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Thanks for the replies, guys. They are definitely appreciated.
I know that getting into shape and staying in shape is the most important goal for me right now. It's something I can control, and I know it's something that will make me feel good about myself. Also, a gym membership is a better use of my money than hair products.
As for shaving my head, I already sport a buzzcut as I've always had scalp issues and keeping short hair minimized them. Attachment 6 on top, attachment 3 on the sides. I guess it's just time to take it all down a notch.
Thanks again for the advice.
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Try a #2 on top and a #1 on the sides.
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Logan, welcome to the forum! 8)
I believe that this is the best of it's kind. O0
There are a great bunch of guys here, many with first-hand experiences, knowledge and a support system of sorts.
I look forward to heariing how you progress! O:O
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Welcome to the Forum Logan! Nice introductory post.
Dude.... your Dad has been SLY for ten years....... what better gift to give your Dad than a HAPPY, CONFIDENT son??!!??
Shave your head and your worries over hairloss will disappear and your confidence will SOAR!! You will have a small time period to get used to your new look but it will be worth it.
Peace
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Sorry for the late welcome...WELCOME TO SBGs!!! 8)
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Welcome Logan! O:O
Just a thought... there is no time in history that is a better time to lose your hair. Young or old, Sly is in dude! O0
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Welcome. I recently joined myself first time on here in awhile as my computer got a virus and just got it back up and running. Anyway I think razor gave you some good advice. I recenlty started running and working out myself and changed my diet. You will feel better knowing your doing something proactive to change your appearance for the better. I went through the same thing on the hairloss sites. A complete waste of time. Alot of the people are delusional. :/O 20,000 dollar in transplants and still looks ultra thin and like there going bald. As far as girls did you ever meet a girl you thought was beautiful and after talking to her for five minutes she wasn't attractive anymore? Or meet a girl who you thought was so so and you got to know her and she became much more attractive. Just be a good person and you will be fine and welcome.
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hey logan: welcome 2 the sly fraternity. where everyone here embraces their slick smooth domes. O0 if U R liking your buzz cuts (now) just wait until U finally "do the deed", "take the plunge", or in simpler terms "shave your dome smooth". in the meantime.... keep us posted 2 your road 2 slyness. O0
WARHAWK O0
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We all have a mental image of what we think we're "supposed" to look like, but life has a way of throwing us curve balls. When I was 19 I thought I was supposed to look like Michael J. Fox, but things didn't quite work out that way. :D A completely bald dome was never part of the plan, but it hasn't turned out to be such a bad thing. Even though it's not what I had in mind when I was younger, I've come to really enjoy not having hair and would not ever want to go back to having it.
This was one of my hardest parts to accept, before my hair started thinning out at 17 I always had the longer skater hair so shaving my head was a complete 180 for me.
I was like you to I went thru many different links on google and forums and was always told to go on propecia and do hair transplants and made to feel ashamed that I was losing my hair. In doing the 30 day rule I felt like I was freed from all bondage and its been nearly 2 months that I've been shaving and everyday I get better. I still get days where I feel like the head above my eyes is huge, it is bigger and there have been comments but in all its not as bad as we ourseelves make it seem. Trust me bro do the 30 day rule and you'll get your freedom back!
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Welcome Logan, I'm so glad you came to this site, read through the posts, you'll find alot of good information and advice. Somewhere you'll even read about guys who tried the Propecia drug and the negative effects it had on their bodies. I myself tried the Rogain foam route and I got a really bad rash, and it didn't even work. I went the rug route and boy, you think you have self conscience concerns now... In the end, it has to be your decision. Your Dad already sports the Sly look, you like the way he looks don't you? If you do it, maybe your brothers will come over too. At least you can say you did it before them. Good luck in your decision.
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Welcome Aboard the SlyBaldGuys Train !
ALL-L-L-L-L ABOARD !
Its your sincere and true heart and soul that attracts serious and loyal friends not your hair or body build ! Meds are marvelous and sometimes have side affects .... but your health is most important ! You sound like you're on the right track and glad you found this site to keep that train running. HANG IN THERE ! ---Stasiu
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Welcome to SBG. So glad to hear that you have your medical situation under control. As far as hair.......dude..nowhere near as serious as your health. Shave it off, join that gym and get rolling with the rest of your life....you only get one!!!
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Your hair line could just be maturing. You may not be going bald at all. As for the whole "overweight, and bald" thing. Theres nothing wrong with being bald, its steadily becoming more and more mainstream and acceptable, and as for the "overweight" problem, you can always change that you just have to commit to living a healthier lifestyle. I too am overweight but have steadily been losing weight and I was a guy that was 329 in high school, If you just commit to weight loss it will come off and you will feel better about yourself.
I'd say give it some time and if your hair really continues to bother you a lot, start shaving it down with some clippers in progression from lets say #4, #3, #2, #1, #0 and eventually to sly if you like the way it looks.
Good luck I hope this post helps.
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Welcome Logan, I'm just going to echo what most of the guys have said. You're already thinking about it, so you may as well delve a bit deeper. Go the gradual route to see how you like the buzz cut. You may just feel comfortable with that. I have a feeling that you will like it quite a bit, and then it's just a barely, if any, noticeable difference between a no guard buzz and a shaven dome.
Let us know how things go. O0