Sly Bald Guys Forum
Confidence and Success => Relationships/Dating => Topic started by: magnus on May 03, 2010, 04:29:55 PM
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may sound silly to some of you, but still want to ask:
right now i generally aim for women that are about 7 to 8 on a scale of 10, and am pretty confident that if they reject me it will at least not be based on my looks. but after you go bald, is it your experience that you have to go down a few notches and play in a lower league? or should you approach the same women?
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Wow. Just wow.
"Aim" for the woman you are attracted to. It's pretty simple.
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For now i recommend you start with the 1 to 6 women .
I`ll handle the 7 to 10 women for ya .
O0
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i know you're all bald and proud and that's great, and so will i be in time. still, it's a legitimate question and something a lot of guys that go bald in their 20s worry about. so some serious answers would be great.
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Well :: There just was no way too top what " bootedbear " said . . :)
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Any woman who would reject you based on your follicular situation wouldn't be worth much anyways ;)
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My answer was completely serious.
You are what you project. If you go around thinking "I'm a loser! Don't look at me!" that's exactly what you're going project, and that's how people will view you.
Don't sell yourself short. You're no more "damaged goods" whether you have hair or not.
That's what the message around all these "confidence" discussions comes down to. How you view yourself is key to how others view you.
Don't settle. Don't lower your sites. Don't downgrade yourself. There's no reason to, and doing so makes yourself your own worst enemy.
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I think Jimmy Soul sums it up pretty well.
Don't know who Jimmy Soul is?
Go Ahead, Goggle him
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No dude, you're looking at the situation wrong. Bootedbear is definitely correct.
If anything I feel like I can pull even more attractive women now that I've shaved my head. And it has nothing to do with my physical appearance. Confidence, bro.
And lol@aarrggh. You take the 7s and 9s and I'll take the 8s and 10s. 8)
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We're all programmed to think that everybody looks better with a full head of hair, but a lot of guys actually look better bald. Thinning hair or a severely receded hairline never look good, but a shaved head suits a lot of guys (more than you might think), so you need to stop thinking about it as a negative thing.
Shave the dome and make whatever other alterations to your appearance that you need to in order to look your best -- i.e., grow facial hair, upgrade wardrobe, get in shape. The end result may be very different from the mental image you've had of yourself, but change can be good. You don't have to be a pretty boy in order to be attractive.
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may sound silly to some of you, but still want to ask:
right now i generally aim for women that are about 7 to 8 on a scale of 10, and am pretty confident that if they reject me it will at least not be based on my looks. but after you go bald, is it your experience that you have to go down a few notches and play in a lower league? or should you approach the same women?
this is hardly a legitimate question. you're rating women based on appearances, which is extremely shallow and I despise people that do that..
no offense
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Nothing to do with being "bald and proud' or not. It's more about not putting people in boxes. If you've looked around the forum, you'll know that we have a lot of members dealing with self-image and judgment issues. Guys who don't want to be seen as being defined by their hair, or their looks or what have you. This kind of community tends to react poorly to judgments of that kind being made here.
Besides, any kind of a scale being used is going to be subjective to the person making the scale.
Example: If you are only attracted to blonds, then the hottest possible brunette is never going to be a "10" for you. How about just going out, meeting people and letting nature take it's course without putting people into categories or rating them?
Maybe the best question isn't "should I change my range?", but rather "Can I stop rating people?"
Just a thought.
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Dude.... this is the second thread you've made recently (IMO) that makes you look like a very shallow guy. Maybe instead of changing your "range", you should re-think your attitudes about some things in life. By over looking what you might call the "1-6 range" you may be over looking some very interesting people.
A little story here:
When I was in my late twenties I dated a woman that was part of a large group of women that were all great friends. They did everything together. There were 9 or 10 women in that group and every one of them was an "8 or 9"... And none of them had boyfriends, husbands, or significant others. Most of them complained about being alone.
At first I wondered why and even talked to most of them about it. It became apparent very quickly what the problem was...... they judged men much the same way you judge women.
A few of them even told me that at first they couldn't believe that their friend was dating me (though they all agreed now that I was a "good catch").
It was mind boggling to me that these intelligent women would limit the men they found interesting by looks. Unbelievable.
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Hi Magnus,
No of course, league doesn't change. You can be in any league, no matter what hairstyle you have, as long as you believe that you are good enough for it (confidence)
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From personal experience (2 ex-wives, both varsity cheerleaders and beauty queens - State Misses and one top 10 Miss America) -- looks don't buy you anything. Its about the whole package. I'd rather have a 4.5 who is an incredible person and fun to be around than a 9.72 who is drop dead gorgeous and somewhat crazy (I speaketh from experience, trust me on that one). Society puts so much weight on looks -- I look forward to the day when the beauty industry crumbles as people finally realize that painting yourself up doesn't get you anything.
For me -- I'll go for the one who smiles back at me in the bar. I don't care what number she is.
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great story mikekoz, certainly familiar with that phenomenon. got a friend who is just like that.
but people, take it easy. i think a lot of the negative feedback here is based on a misunderstanding.
when i talk about numbers i'm not talking about looks only. a 5 or 6 or whatever may be a 7 or 8 in my book if she has charisma and projects a good personality. but then again, if she does project those qualities she is a 7-8 in everyone's book.
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I would'nt say i use a scale to judge women's looks, but i do only like certain women. I could be in a room of 50 hot women and i'll only like maybe 1 or 2.
But that's just me i suppose lol.
But since last week when i went sly, i still like the same women as before, nothing has changed 8).
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I'm 26 and I get more love now that I'm bald.
i use to use Rogain, Topik, and lots of hats. if i couldn't hide my hair with a hat, I'd nitpick about it all day. the fact that i was losing it consumed me. now i look the same when i walk out of the house, when it rains, when i put on or take off a cap; its liberating. its such a relief to never have a bad hair day again. before, i use to wonder what my hair looked like when talking to a girl. now, i can just concentrate on the conversation. i can tell I'm more confident now. i think what happens to us is we start obsessing about our hair when we begin to see it fall out. it gets to the point that we obsess over it, and when its finally gone we feel lost without it because its not there to worry about. with hair there use to be a lot of options to styling it, now we have only one, and were stuck with it. its tough, but you need a positive attitude. start going out of your way to find the pros to being bald. like this one: many women like men who are clean, many women like men who are macho and manly. well, a bald head is the epitome of clean for your scalp. its also manly! how many emo kids or women do you see intentionally shaving their head? being bald at least says those two things about you, and that's a great start 8)
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This is a very interesting post. I feel like I'm dating the ones that I like the most still. I think I'm wanting to approach the 10s now. In my scale, personality is taken into account too so that even if a guy looks like the David statue that Michelangelo made he could still be a 1. Actually, the system I use is a more organic system where I know them when I see them. There is no criteria ie: the guy has have a full head of hair. Hopefully, this is encouraging for those gay balding lurkers that I won't date a guy with a comber. Confidence is very sexy to me, and I think that's all you need. Guys and girls are the same, and this is something that comes across all sexual orientations.
All in all, don't redefine your range, increase your range because this will open you up to a whole over group of potential dates because your confidence is up. So I hope you have a chance to increase your confidence cause I'm sure you're a great guy and all those girls who pass you up are missing out. :)
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Back in our younger and more shallow days when my friends and I were introduced to the 1-10 scale, we would see girls and say, "Yeah, she's definitely a 9" and stuff like that.
One of my friends discarded that scale and started using a binary scale: 0 and 1.
0: Wouldn't do.
1: Would do.
Haha, much simpler.
These days I don't even consider scaling women like that, it's all about personality.
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I disagree with you Bill, I think it's about both. Without physical attraction, the relationship is kinda dull. But if emotionally and personality wise incompatible, the relationship fails too. If one tries to sacrifice one for the other completely, you will fall flat. However, life is never black and white. For me I have a few deal breakers, but they are very few. However, I'm still picky because what if the person I'm dating comes off as very arrogant (I don't know if this happens in the straight community), then they look unattractive to me. Perhaps maybe I agree with Bill afterall. Actually I could never date a guy with a comb over, that IS a deal breaker and the date I had tonight was starting to do a comb forward.
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I disagree with you Bill, I think it's about both. Without physical attraction, the relationship is kinda dull. But if emotionally and personality wise incompatible, the relationship fails too. If one tries to sacrifice one for the other completely, you will fall flat. However, life is never black and white. For me I have a few deal breakers, but they are very few. However, I'm still picky because what if the person I'm dating comes off as very arrogant (I don't know if this happens in the straight community), then they look unattractive to me. Perhaps maybe I agree with Bill afterall. Actually I could never date a guy with a comb over, that IS a deal breaker and the date I had tonight was starting to do a comb forward.
I agree with you to an extent. I wouldn't go as far as saying personality is all that matters or looks is all that matters, I think that phyiscal attractiveness is a LITTLE important. However, I believe with a great personality you can find beauty in almost anyone.
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I noticed my confidence level go up once I shaved my head. That whole thinning hair thing ended up just dragging me down. The WOMEN naturally responded to my increased confidence. Now I'm happily married to a beautiful WOMAN who loves my baldness. It's best to ignore the influences of society and the shallowness of making decisions based on it.
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I disagree with you Bill, I think it's about both. Without physical attraction, the relationship is kinda dull. But if emotionally and personality wise incompatible, the relationship fails too. If one tries to sacrifice one for the other completely, you will fall flat. However, life is never black and white. For me I have a few deal breakers, but they are very few. However, I'm still picky because what if the person I'm dating comes off as very arrogant (I don't know if this happens in the straight community), then they look unattractive to me. Perhaps maybe I agree with Bill afterall. Actually I could never date a guy with a comb over, that IS a deal breaker and the date I had tonight was starting to do a comb forward.
You're right about lack of physical attraction making a relationship dull. I still have standards as far as overall physique, but that's taken a backseat to personality. A woman that can make me laugh automatically looks hotter to me.
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Well, being married I don't "aim" for anyone but my bride of 38 years... that is unless we're talking head rubs, then I aim for the 10's! O0
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I notice I get more attention from the guys since shaving.
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I notice I get more attention from the guys since shaving.
You've got my attention ;)
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I really didn't, I was married when I started shaving my head bald. Now my wife won't let me grow hair, but since she likes my bald head, I don't have to change anything. I guess my wife got sick of seeing the receding hairline and the ever growing bald spot on my head. Plus my hair is naturally curly and made the balding look more obvious I guess. I used to need hair gel, even when it was long or short, in order to comb it. Now i don't have any use for hair gel. ;D
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I noticed my confidence level go up once I shaved my head. That whole thinning hair thing ended up just dragging me down. The WOMEN naturally responded to my increased confidence. Now I'm happily married to a beautiful WOMAN who loves my baldness. It's best to ignore the influences of society and the shallowness of making decisions based on it.
My wife loves my head shaven too. To a point where she won't allow me to grow hair.