Sly Bald Guys Forum
Various Non-Bald Discussions => Jokes => Topic started by: HotCajun on March 20, 2007, 02:38:53 PM
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Intoxicology 301: The Rules of the Drunk Dial
1. Only drunk dial when you are drunk. Everything else is false advertisement.
2. It is okay to call someone 27 times in one night. If you don't remember it, it didn't happen.
3.Dirty talk while drunk dialing is always preferred. Who doesn't want to hear your best raspy, phone sex voice at 3 in the A.M. asking to bend them over something.
4. Voicemails are always better. This way your friend can let their friends have fun at your expense for days, even weeks to come.
5. Drunk texting is alright... If you are prepared to read what you wrote the next day when you are sober.
6. It is definitely a good idea to call all of your exes and remind them that you were the best lover they've ever had and everything they know, they learned from you. This way you can sleep well at night.
7. You can also call this same ex and let them know, that you know, that they still love you. Then explain to them that I would still love me too!
8. If you are a frequent dialer, never get mad if someone dials you. Be happy they thought of you in this special time.
9. It is always a good idea to sing on someone's answering machine or voicemail. Especially a show tune.
10. Drunk dialing should be fun and light hearted or dirty and sex crazed... Never angry.
11. Most likely you will never drunk dial your best friends. They are usually the ones taking your phone away and reminding you that "you have a problem".
12. If you deleted a number sober, it was probably for a good reason. Do not try to retrieve this number. Nothing good can come from it.
13. Always call someone you know. Finding random numbers in phone books is bad and usually leads to angry dialing.
14. If your cell phone dies, remember everything happens for a reason. Never borrow a friend's phone to do your dialing.
15. Drunk dialing to foreign country is usually to costly to be a good idea. But if you feel like if you don't call this person you'll just die, break rule 14 and use a friend's phone.
16. Drunk dialing may lead to drunk muffin stuffing.... Be prepared.
17. When dialing remember that "hanging out" at 3 in the A.M. usually doesn't involve cards it's probably going to be more like cheap lube and handcuffs. So be prepared when you really do want to play X-box when your drunk.....
18. Don't drunk dial in the pool, tub, or rainstorm. It only ends up with you blow drying your phone when you're far to drunk to be using electronics and you wont be able to drunk dial anymore that night.
19. Never, I repeat, never drunk dial your boss, preacher-grandpa, or friend's parents. If you are that hard up to call someone, there is an 800 number on Budweiser boxes. The person on the other line always sounds cute, plus I think they are used to drunk dialers
Much LOVE to you all :@` !!!!!
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:*)) O0
Thanks HC, that's some good stuff.
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lol funny, and well met. :) Me be the Yeti in these here parts, enjoy your stay...
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Now that there was some good ones. :*)) :*)) :*))
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Might I suggest an addition...
If your phone has a key lock on it, activate this feature before drinking. (I drunk dialed my Mom at 2 in the morning when I was 17. Not fun when I got home. lol)
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Might I suggest an addition...
If your phone has a key lock on it, activate this feature before drinking. (I drunk dialed my Mom at 2 in the morning when I was 17. Not fun when I got home. lol)
LOL.....oops, that would suck
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Sucked very much badly!
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Good thing that Cell phones were too expensive to own when I was in HS...I could have been in real trouble >:D
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:*)) :*)) :*))
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Dang good ones
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Intoxicology 301: The Rules of the Drunk Dial
16. Drunk dialing may lead to drunk muffin stuffing.... Be prepared.
Alright now, What in the World is "Drunk Muffin Stuffing"? D#tG3t fF##
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Intoxicology 301: The Rules of the Drunk Dial
16. Drunk dialing may lead to drunk muffin stuffing.... Be prepared.
Alright now, What in the World is "Drunk Muffin Stuffing"? D#tG3t fF##
It's a simple three letter word that starts with "s" and ends in "x."
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Intoxicology 301: The Rules of the Drunk Dial
16. Drunk dialing may lead to drunk muffin stuffing.... Be prepared.
Alright now, What in the World is "Drunk Muffin Stuffing"? D#tG3t fF##
It's a simple three letter word that starts with "s" and ends in "x."
I get it now... I just can never be sure what they are calling it these days *!d
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Intoxicology 301: The Rules of the Drunk Dial
16. Drunk dialing may lead to drunk muffin stuffing.... Be prepared.
Alright now, What in the World is "Drunk Muffin Stuffing"? D#tG3t fF##
It's a simple three letter word that starts with "s" and ends in "x."
I get it now... I just can never be sure what they are calling it these days *!d
Whew! I was hoping we wouldn't have to elaborate an further... ;)
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Intoxicology 301: The Rules of the Drunk Dial
16. Drunk dialing may lead to drunk muffin stuffing.... Be prepared.
Alright now, What in the World is "Drunk Muffin Stuffing"? D#tG3t fF##
It's a simple three letter word that starts with "s" and ends in "x."
I get it now... I just can never be sure what they are calling it these days *!d
Whew! I was hoping we wouldn't have to elaborate an further... ;)
That would have to be in the member's only section
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"Drunk Muffin' Stuffing"? I'm suing somebody! :Xo!
That's gender bias! It implies that only men (or lesbians) drunk dial.
Quick, find me a dumb ass lawyer that would take on such a case. Quick, open a phone book and pick one, any one.
Gloria Allred?
Mark Garagos?
Michael Nifong? He's the dip sh*t DA in the Duke Rape Case. He has a lot of free time on his hands now.
j/k. Yours Truly,
Your Humble Ordinary American not from New York Schrotini Drinkin' Schro
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I drunk dialed once, called an Ex who was seeign this goofy white guy that was thinking he was a hiphop star(he was 24).... god was he a loser. worked at Macdonalds...
I talked to her for a while, discovered she was in bed with him.... so i told her to put him on.... I put him on speaker phone... so my buddies could all hear.
I said "hey kid... what you saying?"
he called me a punk.... I got mad and told him to go do something he was useful at and make me a Big mac, cause his waste of skin.
than we hung up and Ashlee called me the next day we talked... here and loser were together for about 2 years, and they finally broke up.... he was such a loser and even she kenw it however she just couldn't shake him.... like a wart if you ask me... ahh well her and I are still good friends.
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I drunk dialed once, called an Ex who was seeign this goofy white guy that was thinking he was a hiphop star(he was 24).... god was he a loser. worked at Macdonalds...
OMG......Your ex was dating Kevin Federline :o
:*))
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I drunk dialed once, called an Ex who was seeign this goofy white guy that was thinking he was a hiphop star(he was 24).... god was he a loser. worked at Macdonalds...
OMG......Your ex was dating Kevin Federline :o
:*))
LMAO.....never thought of that!!!!!!!!
:*)) :*)) :*)) :*)) :*)) :*)) O0 O0 :o :o
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I drunk dialed once, called an Ex who was seeign this goofy white guy that was thinking he was a hiphop star(he was 24).... god was he a loser. worked at Macdonalds...
OMG......Your ex was dating Kevin Federline :o
:*))
LMAO.....never thought of that!!!!!!!!
:*)) :*)) :*)) :*)) :*)) :*)) O0 O0 :o :o
I'm on a roll tonight!!! :D
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you certainly are
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How do you know you are getting a Drunk Dial from Fed X? Easy, its Collect! :*)) don't forget to Dial Down the Center! $@y
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:*))
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How do you know you are getting a Drunk Dial from Fed X? Easy, its Collect! :*)) don't forget to Dial Down the Center! $@y
I don't care who you are, that's funny right there!