Sly Bald Guys Forum
Discussions About Being Bald => Reactions to being Bald => Topic started by: GnomeansGno on March 10, 2010, 01:01:25 AM
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Anyone else get negative comments from their family? Just tonight my grandmother (while admittedly somewhat tipsy) said I looked "horrible" bald, and said "you'll never get a girl bald". Also, my mom is constantly telling me "your a handsome guy with great hair, grow it back". Both know why I shave my head, yet don't care anyway. Let me say that I do like hair, but I hate dealing with the scalp psoriasis that comes with it. The steroid foams you can use do help, but they cause bad acne break-outs, so it's a no win situation. The best way to deal with scalp psoriasis is to shave it all off. Because when you do, there's no more itch, no more redness, etc, it magically disappears. I know other bald guys on this forum know what I'm talking about. Any way, back on topic. It really sucks when you can't get support from your own family. My own uncle says I look like "shocker". Honestly, that's a blow to my self-esteem. I understand and agree with those who say "who cares what people think?", but it's hard to accept when your own family doesn't support you. And the thing is, I've gotten compliments from other people on being bald, including a co-worker of my mothers. Any way, I just had to vent. Thanks for listening.
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It's a generational thing alot of the time. I haven't seen my Grandparents since going sly 2 years ago, but I heard my Grandma disapproved when she saw a pic and my mom was initially shocked. But both of my parents have come around and got used to it. I think it's because the older generations aren't used to this style.
But it is a common style now and it certainly won't keep you from getting girls.
Do what works for you, they will get used to it.
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Family members can say negative things on occassion, but just keep in mind that they have this mental image of you since you were a child and it is hard for them to let it go. Patiently remind them that you are happier without hair and that they should want what is best for you. As for not getting women, it is true that SOME women may not like a shaved head, but many more find it intriguing and sexy. It is all about confidence. You just have to keep in mind that in the long run, it is your life and your head. Hold that gleaming dome up high and be yourself.
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Just tough it out my Friend. Your head, your life and yes, you Family. They'll eventually leave it alone.
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It's like Paul said, it's their memory thing, IMO. It also reminds them that you're not their little boy anymore--that is deeply disturbing to them. But, in as much as you are dealing w/ psoriasis they should get over it for that reason alone. But, when it's family, wife, etc., reason is not in the room. So like the Koz says, tough it out, it will get better, it really will.
Plus, that foam, if it's the stuff the Dr. gave me, is expensive--not generally on the insurance company's approved list! Shaving is safe, sane and no side effects--except a very good looking dome of course O:O
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With time comes acceptance. Your family is just relaying what the cosmetics industry wants us to believe. Just think -- if we all shaved our heads we'd put a lot of people out of work. As for getting girls as a bald guy -- hmmm -- Bruce Willis / Demi Moore; Andre Aggasi / Brooke Shields; and the list goes on and on.
You're doing the right thing -- not dealing with steroids. Your family will come around.
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Hang in there bro. I'm going through the same thing this very moment. However, I am just ignoring these people and doing what I want. It's my head, my rules.
Good Luck.
By the way, I'm always amazed how people are so critical about what other people do with their hair. I would never care what people do and I certainly would never make a negative comment.
I have a cousin who is a very overweight unfashionable person who actually calls me names because I shave. Next time I'm going to call her tubby and see how she likes it. LOL.
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You might say something like " I'm bald because I choose to be, The same as you're fat, because you choose to be"
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Posted by Cvasara
You might say something like " I'm bald because I choose to be, The same as you're fat, because you choose to be"
If only I had the balls bro. Even with her, I'm afraid to hurt a feelings. I have what they call the nice guy disease.
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Just be cool. O:O
Annoying people are annoyed best by ignoring their annoyances.
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With time comes acceptance , hang in there if ...YOU like the look.
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Best thing I can say is just be yourself and don't dwell on the negative comments of others. If you do, you will never accomplish anything, including your own decisions.
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Alright, that sucks, but here's what you do. Go out and find the hottest woman that you can find. A real knockout. Get a picture taken with her kissing your head or cuddling up to you. If you pick her up and get a date with her...bonus. Otherwise, you've got the picture to show your grandmother and other family members.
O0
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Just hang in there and it will soon be forgotten. My mum didnt like it at first, and usually the older women I know showed their dislike of my bald head too, but now no one passes any comments, because they can see there's no use! 8)
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You might say something like " I'm bald because I choose to be, The same as you're fat, because you choose to be"
Haha brilliant, I'm gonna have to use that one. ;D
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Where is Schro? He deals with psoriasis. I'm surprised that he has not chimed in about this!
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"you'll never get a girl bald".
but will you get a girl balled?
For most of my adult life I have found that when obnoxious people, family or not, start in on something about me that makes them uncomfortable I start off by ignoring them. If that doesn't work I avoid them....birthdays, anniversaries, funerals, etc. If anybody asks why I wasn't at gramma's birthday party I just tell them the truth.
I'm a strong believer in the theory that our true family is the one we choose, not the one we're stuck with. That assists with a lot of the "loyalty" problems. Loyalty, after all, is a 2 way street.
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Its the same as everything else when people dont understand or are unfamiliar. They tend to shy away, at least until they get use to of it, and accept it. But the main point I say would be that if you like it, dont let others choose your path. Do what you like. It makes us who we are, if everyone was the same , we'd be boring !
:px
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I only shaved once and haven't done it since because of the title of this thread
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I only shaved once and haven't done it since because of the title of this thread
That's a real shame, really is. At some point you will have to decide whether you live to please your family or llve to please yourself. It's a tough fork in the road.
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I only shaved once and haven't done it since because of the title of this thread
That's a real shame, really is. At some point you will have to decide whether you live to please your family or llve to please yourself. It's a tough fork in the road.
I went to my in-laws yesterday and it was the first visit post-sly. I am sure that they weren't too keen on my new look but I didn't care. I responded to all comments with humor, which disarmed them, and confidence, which I'm sure they picked up on.
At the end of the day it doesn't matter what you look like on the outside, it is all about how much you like the look. If you project confidence and a positive attitude about your look, others will pick up on that. A little humor never hurts either.
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As others have send, just hang in there, when I first shaved my head several people (co-workers) asked me "have you got cancer?" after a couple of times I said "no, but i'm a carrier" that seemed to shut them up. Family seem to be the worse, I think its because they are close to you and think that it is ok to say what they think (maybe not what they feel) they will come round just give them time! Just remember some of the comments you used to get when you changed your hairstyle, which is in effect all you have done, try to keep it all in perpestive, it will stop, usually within a week or so. Hope that helps?
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I only shaved once and haven't done it since because of the title of this thread
If you project confidence and a positive attitude about your look, others will pick up on that. A little humor never hurts either.
O0 Very good point!
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It's a real shame that you only shaved once because of bad reactions, Morthen, because your missing out on being who you really want to be just because of other people. You really got to do it FOR YOU and no one else. 8)
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yeah I know. I have a horrible tendency to take peoples opinions or comments to heart and way too seriously, I only had my shaved head exposed for like a day, it was buried under a hat until it grew back, now i keep it at a #1 buzzcut usually. Inevitably its going to be shaven sooner or later, I just need to get the balls to do it and do the 30 day rule, my girlfriend told me to go for it if that's what I want, maybe I should listen to her.
In any case this forum still helps alot even If im not sly yet and I appreciate all the comments and encouragement you guys give me.
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Dude, if the girlfriend is on-board, just do it!
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If the girlfriend said go for it, what more do you need? O0
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my girlfriend told me to go for it if that's what I want, maybe I should listen to her.
O0 O0 Another very good point.
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Do what the woman says! And as for the naysayers, I have found that being a complete smart@$$ is my best defense. O0
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I had someone at my last job who kept giving me a hard time about it. Then I said something like," I'm pleased to hear all these insults since I do this to annoy you personally". That ended that ;D
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its very weird, hair loss runs in my family, both of my grandfathers were bald, my dad has a full head of hair, and almost all my cousins that are men have hair loss issues, one is using bosley currently and will probbly spend 20,000 dollars, another went to hair club, he spent about 50,000 dollars and is wearing a toupee, these two cosuins ridiculed me for shaving my head,
I figured that for about half of wht my cousins spent for hair transplants I will ttend the 2018 winter olympics which i hope will be awarded to PyeongChang South Korea, and the 2020 Summer Olympics which I hope will be awarded to Rome Italy, which is my favourite place in the world, i will attend the opening and closing cerimonies for both games, then i will shows picture to those cousins
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Your cousins are so deeply invested (trapped?) at this point that they can't back out without admitting that they were seduced by the message from the "hair replacement industry". The advertising is designed to prey upon a man's insecurities and convince him, that not having a full head of hair means a loss of self esteem, confidence and social standing. Your confidence in your slyness casts doubt on that premise.
Every time they see you, your six years of slyness is a very visible reminder that the message that they accepted is not true. One of them paid a butcher to slice up his head, the other paid to have someone glue fake hair to his head with super glue. Convincing you to walk the same path that they do is the only way they can prove to themselves that they have done the right thing. Their ridicule is a desperate attempt to validate their own actions.
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I am in the same situation. They think that I am too young to get bald (my father got bald when he was in the middle of his 30ths xD)
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What's "too young"? If you can afford to buy your own razor, you're not too young.
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Thanks, I glad that i decided to be a man and go bald, last night one of the cosins called me, the one that used hair club and is wearing a toupee, he is now go to be a patient of medical hair restoration.
I told him that he is an idiot.
iam not familiar with what the process for this group.
Your cousins are so deeply invested (trapped?) at this point that they can't back out without admitting that they were seduced by the message from the "hair replacement industry". The advertising is designed to prey upon a man's insecurities and convince him, that not having a full head of hair means a loss of self esteem, confidence and social standing. Your confidence in your slyness casts doubt on that premise.
Every time they see you, your six years of slyness is a very visible reminder that the message that they accepted is not true. One of them paid a butcher to slice up his head, the other paid to have someone glue fake hair to his head with super glue. Convincing you to walk the same path that they do is the only way they can prove to themselves that they have done the right thing. Their ridicule is a desperate attempt to validate their own actions.
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It stops after a while. In fact, in my case the comments started reversing.
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Well, time has passed and like many here said about the comments going away, they finally did for me. My family seems to have finally accepted it. Everyone else I know is fine with it, and some have said they like how I look with it. One good thing is where I go to school I have seen a few shaved heads, and the Chef (I go to culinary school) is also bald, so that makes me feel more comfortable. I honestly think that shaving your head bald has never been easier than now. Where I go to the gym there are so many bald heads, it's crazy. In fact I'd go as far as to say that there are MORE bald guys at the gym compared to guy's with hair. It feels good to work out at a place where I'm part of the majority, not the minority.
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yeah I know. I have a horrible tendency to take peoples opinions or comments to heart and way too seriously, I only had my shaved head exposed for like a day, it was buried under a hat until it grew back, now i keep it at a #1 buzzcut usually. Inevitably its going to be shaven sooner or later, I just need to get the balls to do it and do the 30 day rule, my girlfriend told me to go for it if that's what I want, maybe I should listen to her.
In any case this forum still helps alot even If im not sly yet and I appreciate all the comments and encouragement you guys give me.
Don't let my comments bring you down. Shaving your head bald is generally accepted. As others have said, it takes some time for close family and friends to get used to it since they know you with hair, but they eventually do come around.
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In the beginning , I had an awful time at home and a very good friend (who is SLY BALD) said, "in time they will get over it" and they did
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In the beginning , I had an awful time at home and a very good friend (who is SLY BALD) said, "in time they will get over it" and they did
the 1st time i shaved my mother said it looked awful and scary, the next time i shaved (bout a week ago, and i shave everyday now) she said it looked good..
Family members opinions are very fickle and change rapidly lol.
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that's exactly why you just gotta do it for yourself and because its right for you 8)
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Totally can relate to this thread. I used to shave my head when I was in high school, because I played sports and I sweat allot, hair was just a hassle. Heck my drivers license photo has me with a shaved head in it still from when I was 19 or so! When I was 16 I shaved it bald for playoffs (school tradition), admittedly it looked horrible then and everyone told me lol. But I'm 25 now and have been losing my hair since I was 19, first a little thinning up top, then receding, and finally a bald spot to boot! The Triple Crown! The past 2 yrs. in college I wore a hat everyday, I was extremely embarrassed. But now I'm getting ready to move and start school at a different university, and I said the heck with it. I'm afraid to shave it bald, but I just started shaving it with a no-blade (0) on my clippers and I love it. All of my friends including females tell me it looks way better. But my family hates it, always has always will especially my mom and my sister. They keep telling me I look better with a little bit of hair, but I don't get how I look good balding, receding, and thinning. Frankly I think I look like a bad a$$ w/ a shaved head lol. Plus I've learned a nice tan goes a long way for a bald guy, and a goatee to shape the face, and a little exercise helps!
But seriously what's up w/ moms, sisters, and grandparents hating it? My family tells me it makes me look mean. I guess it's because I don't look like there little baby boy anymore.
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But seriously what's up w/ moms, sisters, and grandparents hating it? My family tells me it makes me look mean. I guess it's because I don't look like there little baby boy anymore.
Bingo--This is your time to do what you feel is the most comfortable for you. You're not their little boy to dress up as they want--and they don't like it for the loss of control and the fact it reminds them in a very real and perhaps frightening way that they are getting older too.
Whether Sly looks bad a$$ or not is a matter of how you carry it off.
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But seriously what's up w/ moms, sisters, and grandparents hating it? My family tells me it makes me look mean. I guess it's because I don't look like there little baby boy anymore.
Bingo--This is your time to do what you feel is the most comfortable for you. You're not their little boy to dress up as they want--and they don't like it for the loss of control and the fact it reminds them in a very real and perhaps frightening way that they are getting older too.
Whether Sly looks bad a$$ or not is a matter of how you carry it off.
What he said!!! I hope you stay here and join in. The look suits you, anyway.
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the only person my shaved head ever bothered was my mother, and she has grown to like my new look with time. Women are fickle beings
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Do what makes you happy. Mine is buzzed really short with a #1 guard...and alot of the older people in my family keep urging me to grow it back out to where its longer and have bangs (even though that looks like crap on me). Its your head, and your the one whos gotta live with it...in the long run only your opinion matters. :)
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When I used to grow a winter beard in my 20's one of my grandmothers would always comment harshly. In her upbringing I guess facial hair was associated with heathenism that no upstanding Christian would display. I'd just nod my head and keep the beard.
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I think most people are cool with the sly look once they get used to you O0
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In time (actually not that long) people and family come to realized it is you. There is an initial shock but that wears off
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When I used to grow a winter beard in my 20's one of my grandmothers would always comment harshly. In her upbringing I guess facial hair was associated with heathenism that no upstanding Christian would display. I'd just nod my head and keep the beard.
Has Grams ever seen a picture of Jesus, you know, with the beard?