Sly Bald Guys Forum
Discussions About Being Bald => To be or not be...Bald => Topic started by: Peladin on February 24, 2010, 06:07:05 PM
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Hey guys!
Well, I don't speak english very well but i will try to do my best.
I started to suffer hair loss about 1 1/2 years ago. I'm 23 years old.
I still have some fair amount in my dome, anyways, I tend to be really obsessive about my image so when I first noticed that my hair was thinning it was like the worst thing that could happen to me. Really.
Nowadays I look at my hair in the mirror like 15 times a day just to see if I've got some negative change in my hair.
Believe me its not fun to live like this. So one day I thought about shaving my head just to cut all this suffering. I started to search about tips and all that stuff on the internet and I got to this forum which it was a REAL help.
Anyways, the most important thing is the following:
I don't consider myself a movie star, but I do think Im kind of a good looking guy. I usually do well with women. So, if there's one fact that Im really terrified about is this one: Girls.
My question (maybe intended to the young guys on here) is: Since going sly, how it affected your relationship with women ?
As you can see, I'm in a difficult situation. In one side, I want to go sly so I can stop all this suffering about looking at my dome every 10 minutes to search some weak spot, but in the other side, I think my luck with women is going to decline considerably and, believe me, I am really horrified about it.
I know all of you are going to tell me that Im being insecure (in fact, I am an insecure guy) and that all I got to care about is myself. But c'mon, women are quiet important in our life... and even more important at my age.
I don't know what to do, honestly.
I found some real nice people on here, but I really want some honest words and honest stories about the subjet I am talking about.
Thanks and greetings!
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Hi Peladin!
I am 23. I am not completely sly. But shaving your hair can help you a whole lot with women.
Why:
If you worry all day about your hair, people will notice. If you shave it, you won't be insecure (at least not about your hair). There is no wind, rain or lighting to mess up your hair, so there is nothing to worry about.
Gain confidence by taking action. Women might be important in our lives but the most important thing is to feel good about yourself. If you do, the rest will fall into place :)
For me personally: I am a lot better with girls now than when I had my hair: I had the prettiest hair in the world. But pretty hair is not a woman entrance ticket.
Hope this helped you.
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Before I started losing my hair I had no problem dating any women. When the hair started to go so did my confidence and I'm sure anyone on here will tell you that it's all about confidence. Regardless of what you choose to do to about your hair the confidence is the only thing you need to get back. When I was worried about my hair and the confidence was gone the women could see that and I'm 100% positive that's the only reason I had problems talking to and/or dating anyone. I was gaining weight because I was eating every time I got a little anxiety and missing out on going out because I couldn't wear a hat; there was just nothing good coming from being worried all the time. Now that I have gone sly my confidence is back and I have no problem what so ever in the dating department. I got back in shape and look better than I did before this whole selfish journey and that has helped big time. I'm 21 so I can relate to your current situation in the age department and I can tell you the best thing to do is shave it and I'm pretty sure you will see the light. I get the occasional question or dumb comment but nothing gets to me anymore. Feel free to message me and ask any questions. Hope this all works out for you because I know you are sick of the time you have invested being so self-conscious about this natural part of growing up.
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A vast majority of women love sly guys. As I've posted previously - I wore expensive hair pieces ($700/month) and NEVER had a woman come up and tell me that I'm "hot" or "sexy". As soon as I saved my head - I now have women walk up to me out of the blue and comment on how much they love my shaved head.
Even my 13 year old daughter commented on Sunday "dad you look way stronger without hair - you look like a tough guy".
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Peladin -- I think what has been said so far is right on the money. Give it a shot, if you do not like it grow it back, this is not irreversable surgery, and its perfectly healthy to experiment with your look. But when you try it as most guys will tell you you will feel liberated since the very first day and you will get used to it quickly and love it, and everyone around you will be complementing you left and right and you will get attention from women in a whole new way.
Peace bro
Fred
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Girls will like whats in your head, more than whats on it.
Personality > appearance amigo
hope this helps :)
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Thanks for the kind words guys.
I honestly don't have the balls to do it right now. It's like Im still feeling my hair is fair enough yet... even thought that represents to me being stressed and worried all day long. It's like a vicious circle you know.
Anyways, my brother (who lives in canada) is coming over by June. I will ask him to buy the Conair Cleanhead.
I can't use a manual razor since my skin is REAL sensitive. In fact, to shave my face I have to use a trimmer, so I'm never really shaved at all.
Hopefully when I get the Cleanhead in my hands it gives me some boost to try and do it once and for all.
I know I'm destined to being sly sooner or later. But you know, insecurity and vanity (and maybe hope?) complicates the process :-\
Thanks again guys! I will keep you updated.
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Hair does not and will not get you women [unless you are Fabio] but confidence will.
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Peladin,
Hope? Do you think your hair will come back? It won't. Do you think that you will eventually feel better by doing nothing about it? You won't. Sorry.
You don't have to be completely sly you know. You could start with a buzz cut. You could leave it as a buzz cut, or become sly. Both styles will make you feel a lot better! If you don't like it, grow it back. You have seen your head shape and it will be fine, so you don't have to guess how it will look when you will "eventually be bald"!
Before I buzzed my head I had the prettiest hair. But close to no confidence. Now, it's the opposite. I have no hair, but the best mindset! Get everything in perspective, do it for yourself.
Every day that you worry extra is a pity! It is unnessecary. So, get yourself a cheap clipper and buzz that hair off!
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I think the Conair Cleanhead is a reaonable path to take from what I have heard you say. I will tell you a quote I got from my weight watchers meeting that I think perfectly applies and is in the realm of the smart guy that posted before me - "If you do what you have always done you will get what you have always have gotten." Hey and if you think that is just us its everything i the universe according to the physics law of inertia a body in motion will stay in motion and a body at rest will stay at rest unless an outside force is applied. In this case the outside force is actually your internal force, your internal will to make a change for the positive.
Hope that helps -- get that Conair Cleanhead shave it + show us before and afters.
Fred Man
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I think Sean25 really nailed it for me personally. I felt the same way he did until I shaved my head and "saw the light". Give it a try and I'm almost certain you'll love it.
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I always say, if people don't accept you for who you are, move on. 8)
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Um find a girl who likes a bald guy and get over your self O:O That should fix your problem O0
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Shaving my head has drastically improved my success with women. They didn't seem to like the whispy-I have bad hair but am trying to style it - look. For what it's worth, I'm 41 and bald, my girlfriend is 29 and hot. O0
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I totally understand the anxiety of balding so young and worrying what the effect upon women will be. Im 24 and completely sly which isn't the most fashionable look among young guys round here but I can honestly say it hasn't negatively affected my luck with the ladies.
Firstly i'm getting alot of attention off older women which is a GREAT, but most surprisingly of younger women too. I'm doing a college course that runs in the day time so I'm surrounded by girls 16-20 and I've honestly never had so many girls come up to me and start conversations and try chatting me up, I even got a girls phone number on the train this morning, shes 20 and pretty hot O0
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Shaving my head has drastically improved my success with women. They didn't seem to like the whispy-I have bad hair but am trying to style it - look. For what it's worth, I'm 41 and bald, my girlfriend is 29 and hot. O0
Cheese you are my hero...
and a big ditto to what Sean25 said... believe in yourself.
my dating life is identical to how it was before I went sly.
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good new pic, Duff!
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I think i have gotten more confidence with women since I started shaving/razoring my head. I do sometimes wish i had hair and perfect hairline but but im quite okay with who im. I think i look damn hot and sexy (lol) when im a bit sun tanned and shaved head. I found a new side of me when going bald lol. quite a positive side and i try to use it to my advantage. So when i wish i had a good head of hair, i just think that I found this new side of myself that some women really love!! and I love this side and the look that i have.
I honestly cant belieave what I was doing or thinking for 36months when I didnt accept my baldness. Feels like 36months waste of time that I cant get back. It f*** succks but im f***n happy i just did it one day. Now I dont have to think about my thinning hair and can go on with my life as everyone should.
Be a man and just do it. I think its idiotic and childish to worry about hair. I know easier said than done. But just think, everyone needs to grow up one day and accept themselves and take care of the problems u have. Else you will just struggle and be in pain more and more. Its a part of becoming a grownup to accept ur baldness. I mean either u shave/razor away ur hair so u dont have to worry and look at ur thinning hair 15times a day Or then you just keep your hair and dont be sad about it or miserable about it.
Sry for my english, i was in a hurry.
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Welcome to the forum, Paladin.
I basically found the Sly Guys Forum the same way. Researching the "bald thing" and this web form popped up in GOOGLE.
Even though I'm well out of the age group you speak of (I'm 52). I say GO FOR IT!!
Do your own research. wherever you go.... notice the male crowd around you. Whether you're at the mall, work, car wash, weekend outing, etc, you'll begin to notice the "bald look" is the new "long haired look" of the 60's and 70's. You'll be amazed at the number of guys you'll see sporting the sly look. They were always there, you just never noticed them before the "sly" look interested you.
As far as the response from the female population, there are many who just adore the sly look on their guys and there are just as many who despise it. Sometimes you just gotta say WTF and do what's going to make you feel the happiest! Chances are if the gal of your choice ONLY will go out with you if you have hair, it's a physical thing only and a relationship that would go south sooner or later regardless of hair or no hair anyway!!
-Cap'n Noodles-
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Sorry to spoil it but some like it some don't. It is the simple truth. Just like some men like women with short hair some like em with long. Same thing just different gender. No body is a attract all for every woman, I don't care how good looking you think you are, not all of them are going to like you with hair and all are not going to like you without a full head of hair. I personally don't think it has anything to do with hair. I think it is attitude and personality.
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Sorry to spoil it but some like it some don't. It is the simple truth. Just like some men like women with short hair some like em with long. Same thing just different gender. No body is a attract all for every woman, I don't care how good looking you think you are, not all of them are going to like you with hair and all are not going to like you without a full head of hair. I personally don't think it has anything to do with hair. I think it is attitude and personality.
That's why I say if they aint into you, move on and you'll find someone who is. plenty more fish and all that. O0
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Cheese you are my hero...
haha! Thanks Duff! Despite photographic evidence, Moriah tells me she can't picture me with hair and if she met me 10 years ago she would've made me shave my head. Gotta love it! :*))
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I have to say my wife is the same, she sees photos of me with hair and hates it!! She is 32 and hot, but not quite as impressive as Mr Cheese as I am 31 :*))
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That's why I say if they aint into you, move on and you'll find someone who is. plenty more fish and all that. O0
True, luckily though I am married so I don't have to worry about the whole dating thing. ;D I don't know if I could do it again if I had to.
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True, luckily though I am married so I don't have to worry about the whole dating thing. ;D I don't know if I could do it again if I had to.
Amen to that Brother, Amen.