Sly Bald Guys Forum
Discussions About Being Bald => Reactions to being Bald => Topic started by: thebaboun on January 19, 2010, 06:25:41 PM
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Some people like it, Some people won't, some people don't care......as someone said here "I like the way I look, what else is important"?
I just received a comment saying that a girl was a big fan of my hair in the past, that it looked great on me and she LOVED curly hair. She did not say that having that bald look does not suit me well; however, her comment irritated me a little bit lol.
Comments like those will happen in the past and I think I just want to get some "reassurance" and know how to deal with them in the future so they do not affect me. What piece of advice would you guys give me ?
Cheers!
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Let's face it, not everybody is going to like the sly look, just like not everybody is going to like dreadlocks, or a crewcut, or straight hair, or curly hair.
You get the point.
As long as people keep the negative crap to themselves (i.e. did you ASK their opinion or was if just thrown at you?), who really cares what anyone else thinks? I know that's the standard answer, but you can't go out in public rocking a shaved head and expect everyone to love it. Besides, it would get really annoying having to stop every block or so to let people touch it...
I've had douchebags make comments about my melon because their lady friend was checking me out for longer than their fragile little egos could handle. So, being me, I usually fire back with something like "Hey man I don't care what you think, you're not the one fantasizing about how my bald head would feel against your thighs right now." or something along those lines. Gets 'em every time.
MAJOR EDIT & DISCLAIMER: I personally can't help myself from verbally crushing someone who's said/done something stupid and completely deserves it, but I would NOT recommend the previous course of action to ANYONE unless you're ready to have some jerk take a swing at you because he was otherwise bested. THAT happens from time to time as well. Being a smartass isn't always the best course of action, but its usually the most FUN.
In short, don't let other people's opinion dictate how you groom yourself, its your choice and if they don't like it, TOUGH.
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Mind over Matter, I don't mind so it doesn't matter.
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Look as tough as you can and no one will dare make any negative comments. ;)
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I have never had a comment that wasn't positive - - -Everybody likes the shaved"MELON" on me I leave the hat on if I think someone is going to comment in the negative
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I've had a couple of bad comments right at the begining (nearly 4 years ago now 8)) and I just shrugged them off. It was annoying at the time, and it could get you down if you let it, but all I had to do was look in the mirror and I was reassured I'd done the right thing for ME 8)
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Hey Baboun, I understand where you are coming from. There was this girl I knew years ago, who told me "I used to love your blond hair, it was so smooth..."
It doesn't matter, I just told her, "sure my hair was alright, but I couldn't bear covering up this beautiful head!"
If you dwell on every negative comment, even if she didn't mean any harm at all, then you never make it. You must shrug off stuff like that and move on. You are now a sly guy, that is your identity, that is your look, that is who you are. Curly Shmurly!
Besides she was just trying to be nice to you, so you shouldn't take any offense at all.
So stay positive and get your confidence from within!
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My response has been "If you don't like it, oh well" I like it, and at the end of the day the only one I have to answer to is myself. Not to mention, if you carry yourself with confidence other people see it and are less likely to try to bring you down with their negativity.
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Sometimes people just have to tell you what's on their mind with regards to your bald head. It seems like tourettes.
I haven't had many negative comments, a few shocked ones, especially from girls I hadn't seen in a long time. But I'm always honest and just say I didn't like the hair I had, I prefer it this way.
I don't think it's the bald mans way to retort to stupid comments back. Sure, it would be easy to point out something you don't like about that particular person, or the majority you meet maybe, but hey, we're above that.
Never let anyone or anything define who you are man. You're bald, and hey, that's just fine by us
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Let people say what they want, if it's not complimentary just assume that they are talking to someone else.
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Comments about my hair style--well, lack of one, I suppose, since if there is no hair, it can't be said to be "styled"--are really low down on the list of comments that grate. "Ho" and "Hum" is my response. It's negativity about my interplanetary diplomacy that gets my heat up.
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I have had no negative comments bout being bald. Even if someone did not like it their opinion is that..just an opinion.
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You know, I've said it before, I do think I look better with hair and my wife thinks so too but...
How I feel about myself, the control I have over my appearance and my self confidence all drive me to the Sly life. I do get rather frequent subtle comments and looks that are negative. Occasionally I even get overt criticism especially when it's discovered it's my choice to shave my head.
I think crossing the line from pleasing others to pleasing myself has been the most liberating experience of my life!
Presently I have admittedly given in to the pressure of others as I desperately need to find employment. I feel like a hypocrite but I must do everything I can for my family right now. This experience has however allowed me to more fully understand my "Sly" choice and yes, as soon as I have landed that job, the hair is coming back off.
I see the negative comments as a mix of true personal opinions and conviction for being a "people pleaser". None of us really want to be victims of what others think, to be pressured to do what we do not want to.
I dunno... maybe I'm just goofy! :*))
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You gotta do what you gotta do Sarge.
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Presently I have admittedly given in to the pressure of others as I desperately need to find employment. I feel like a hypocrite but I must do everything I can for my family right now. This experience has however allowed me to more fully understand my "Sly" choice and yes, as soon as I have landed that job, the hair is coming back off.
What kind of work do you do? Do you really think a shaved head is an impediment to getting a job? In a perfect world, I'd rather show up at the interview with a bald head, as opposed getting hired with a full head of hair and then showing up on the first day of work bald. But I do understand that if you're out of work, you have to do whatever you can to land a job.
No criticism intended whatsoever; I'm just curious why you think it may be a problem. I think most people think guys who shave their heads do so because they're balding, anyway, and don't usually hold that against an applicant. I don't think most are observant enough to notice the shadow or lack thereof, unless the applicant is very young and has a very heavy shadow.
Anway, good luck in finding that job.
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I posed this to a friend of mine in HR. She seems to think that clothing is more an issue. Her negatives are extreme clothing (pants below the waist), poor hygiene, extremities in jewelery and SMELL (i.e body odor or an overdose of cologne / aftershave). Her only feeling on hair (facial and head) is that as long as it is well-maintained and not ZZ Top or Patti LaBelle, you are okay. Be more concerned about presentation and selling your skillset / abilities.
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Mind over Matter, I don't mind so it doesn't matter.
hey shadowside: well said. O0 O0 O0
WARHAWK O0
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What kind of work do you do? Do you really think a shaved head is an impediment to getting a job?
No criticism intended whatsoever; I'm just curious why you think it may be a problem.
Because I have been told so on three occasions. A friend who works where I just had an interview, who told me about the opening, warned me in advance that "I probably wouldn't get hired if I came in with a shaved head".
Just answering your question Razor... I was being open regarding the OP's question, that's all, and I was not looking for advise nor do I wish to defending my choices. I should have left that part out.. sorry. The truth is, there is a negative stereotype associated with head shavers and people around here make that clear. Nuff said.
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Just answering your question Razor... I was being open regarding the OP's question, that's all, and I was not looking for advise nor do I wish to defending my choices. I should have left that part out.. sorry.
You don't have to defend your choices -- and I wasn't trying to offer advice. I was just curious because I was under the impression that this sort of thing wasn't an impediment to getting a job anymore. I didn't mean to pry or to hijack the thread.
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Just answering your question Razor... I was being open regarding the OP's question, that's all, and I was not looking for advise nor do I wish to defending my choices. I should have left that part out.. sorry.
You don't have to defend your choices -- and I wasn't trying to offer advice. I was just curious because I was under the impression that this sort of thing wasn't an impediment to getting a job anymore. I didn't mean to pry or to hijack the thread.
No problem Razor... I didn't mean to sound defensive or anything.
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The truth is, there is a negative stereotype associated with head shavers and people around here make that clear.
With all due respect, I strongly disagree. I haven't found this to be true in any aspect of my life, nor have any of the slys I personally know well. I don't think you should confuse your perception with the actual state of affairs of all. I work and have worked as a lawyer in what can only be called a conservative southern environment most of my life and I have never found that to be the case pre or post Sly. Oh, by the way, I was raised in the Reno area, and if any area of this country is a very much "do your own thing" area, Reno is the heart of it. And, my cousin, Sly, is a retired senior person in management of the Reno area office of a national corporation, a NY stock exchange company. Just my observation and a sample of the facts to support it.
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The truth is, there is a negative stereotype associated with head shavers and people around here make that clear.
With all due respect, I strongly disagree. I haven't found this to be true in any aspect of my life, nor have any of the slys I personally know well. I don't think you should confuse your perception with the actual state of affairs of all. I work and have worked as a lawyer in what can only be called a conservative southern environment most of my life and I have never found that to be the case pre or post Sly. Oh, by the way, I was raised in the Reno area, and if any area of this country is a very much "do your own thing" area, Reno is the heart of it. And, my cousin, Sly, is a retired senior person in management of the Reno area office of a national corporation, a NY stock exchange company. Just my observation and a sample of the facts to support it.
No matter. The whole point of my post was lost when I got off track with my personal issues regarding job searching. Who knows what's going on in the minds of others. :-X
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Because I have been told so on three occasions. A friend who works where I just had an interview, who told me about the opening, warned me in advance that "I probably wouldn't get hired if I came in with a shaved head".
Well, in any given case, it could be because they just got rid of a jerk who happened to have a shaved head. I've heard of people being disqualified for being from the wrong school, mentioning the wrong sport or hobby, or sounding like they are from the wrong part of the country because they remind the interviewer of someone they don't like.
On the other hand....
Last year, a client was introducing me by phone to a vendor of theirs as the "design guy." The vendor, jokingly checking on my credentials, asked if I had tattoos or a pierced face or if I was wearing all black. He seemed reassured when I mentioned my shaved head. Perhaps it depends on the kind of work you do...
My client has known me since I had hair, but I don't think he finds my appearance all that remarkable--he was ready to move the conversation along with a quick "no" and a chuckle until I jumped in with my self-description.
(No, I don't know what I would have said if I had been sporting a tattoo or a nose ring or a black turtleneck.)
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(No, I don't know what I would have said if I had been sporting a tattoo or a nose ring or a black turtleneck.)
You make a very important point! NEVER trust anyone who wears a black turtleneck! O0
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:) I've never had any negative criticism, and I have pursued a career in college teaching throughout my professional life. Post-sly has been, at least for me, more positive than pre-sly, and academe is among the most conservative venues in town. Undercover and Razor X, as well as everyone else who stood up for integrity and self-approval, got it right. If I ever did get any negative comment, I'd look in the mirror in my basement, where the back- and side -lighting make my dome gleam like a deco sculpture, and that would certainly nullify the downer. My wife's constant pleasure in my baldness has also provided a shield against derision. Professor Melon
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with the hair or lack there of I usally respond with God only created a few perfect heads the rest he coved up and left them covered, but on a note there Sarg,,I actually cut my hair this time due to jobs and I beleave its discremination if they wont hir you with a bald head but have ben refused work once due to my gotee because they facial hair looks dirty. Mine covers up some scar s from a motorcycle wreck when I was a kid where it looks like bubble gum from road rash , like a dummy I shaved it off and went back for another meeting and told them to shove the job case I had found one twice as good after shaving LOL,
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I rarely get a negative comment, but if I do, I just tell them that it makes me happy. Period. If it goes any further (it never has for me, by the way), I would probably take a smartass position. But, that's just me. I like Undercover's comments. I'm gonna use that one, is the opportunity ever arises.
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Hi
Are YOU HAPPY with the way you look?
That's the KEY
There will always be someone out there that will throw you a curve ball
And it will impact you, but you need to find the key that will minimize the hurt
Good Luck
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I've yet to have a negative comment -- but I have in the back of my mind readied my response. One response that I've thought about is to tell them "sorry, chemotherapy made my hair fall out" -- just to make them feel absolutely terrible about their comment. The reason why I think about using that response is that I want to shock that person into realizing how wrong their comments were. I've thought about other responses like -- well that's ok -- I can wake up in the morning and feel good about myself, but you just can't fix ugly.
For me I am totally and completely confident with my shaved head. I have people ask me (like tonight at dinner) how I like it after 3 months and my standard answer is "I absolutely love it -- its the best thing that I've ever done". Peoples responses have always been "you look awesome with your head shaved".
I also think that we manifest peoples comment through our own actions. If I looked as "bad" as Razor (and I mean bad in a positive way) -- I'd be afraid to make any negative comments out of fear of being knocked into next week.
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Look as tough as you can and no one will dare make any negative comments. ;)
This is totally true. A guy at the boxing gym I used to go to had shaved head, goatee and wore a biker jacket all the time. Nicest guy in the world. But he said no one ever gave him any trouble.
Works for me! :-)