Sly Bald Guys Forum
Discussions About Being Bald => To be or not be...Bald => Topic started by: misterfong on December 09, 2009, 03:42:43 PM
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Ok, little intro, my name's Steve, I'll be 22 in January. Currently thinning/receding, it's pretty obvious. And yes, right now I'm part of the hat club. Now, I keep it at a #1 buzz, so it's pretty short. I have been wanting to show off my dome for a little over a year now, I think I would look great with it. Right now, I feel like an insecure little monkey. Now, I have a gf who loves me very much, but isn't willing to let go of my hair (which is next to none anyway). I think she's more desperate than I am to hang on to that little bit that I have. She's probably more insecure than I am.
Anyway, she has expressed to me that shaved heads turn her off more than anything. I tried to convince her to just let me try it for a few weeks, if she doesn't get used to it, then I'll just grow back my hair (peach fuzz). Maybe I should send her here, I don't think she truly understands what it's like to have a crappy head of hair and to be stuck with it. I personally think I'd look pretty bad ass with a shaved head. She makes does the "how would you like it if I shaved my head" comeback, which doesn't really make sense. Anyways, how have you guys dealt with the ladies?
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Do you tell her what color, style, and length to wear her hair? If not, she doesn't have a say. Let her know that you prefer it Sly and that if she can't love you for your other qualities then you need to know why she's with you.
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First order of business .. welcome to the forum, Steve. Glad you could join us.
Now ... down to the business at hand ..... the GF. Mate, you gotta take charge here. It's your head, it's your life. If she loves you, she'll love your shiny dome. BTW, she most likely will respect you more for confidently taking control of the situation.
My girl used to love running her hands over my "spikes", as she called the #1 cut I used to have. Now she loves running her hands over my smooth pate.
Your girl (if she is really into you) will adapt. Tell her you need her to help pick out some new threads to go with your new look. Guarantee she'll come 'round real quick. O0
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Hmmm that sounds like a really great idea actually. I've been trying to figure out a way to include her to make it more fun and have a good time with it. She's a little too serious about it all. I'll try cutting that deal with her and see how that goes. I am in terrible need of a new wardrobe anyway and I'm sure she'd be the first to jump on the whole makeover deal.
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Hi Steve! A big Welcome to the Forum!
You SHOULD invite her here to check things out and even ask questions. We will be more than happy to anser questiond from her and when she sees the avatars of all these fine brothers.....how could she say no to you!!!????
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DUDE, IT'S JUST HAIR (OR THE LACK OF IT).
SHINE ON. O0 O:O
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Hey Mr, quit the hat club and join the sly club! WELCOME! Your girl will love it.
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Thanks for the warm welcome guys! Will be seeing my girl next weekend, finishing up some finals for school, going to run it by her then. Trust me, I can't wait to leave the hat club! Maybe we can make it a weekend shopping or something. I'll update this later...in the meantime, I'll be lurking around here.
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Two things I see here that do not bode well for your future. One, she is too manipulative which is a sign of immaturity at the very least. If you want this girl you will have to help her grow and become less controlling which is her only notion of a relationship at this young age. Two, you are showing that you will allow it which means that you feel you cannot get a girl that will love you as a confident bald guy. For you to gain your confidence and be that successful bald guy the price may be the loss of this self-centered, controlling girl.
Her point about "How would you like it if I shaved my head" shows how repulsed she is by a shaved head. If I were you I would readily agree and make an appoinntment at a stylist for you both to be shaved at the same time. Think she will show for that appointment ? If she was a mature individual ready for an adult relationship she would at least consider it...dump this shallow girl who still thinks like a pouty 15 year old and be that successful bald guy who finds a really great girl capable of loving you for exactly what you are, a great confident guy.
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My take on this is a bit different than everyone else who has posted so far.
I don't know about you, but personally if there weren't a girl walking this planet right now, I would walk around in sweatpants, sandals, and a white t-shirt (complete with chili and/or ketchup stains) at ALL HOURS OF DAY. And scratch my nuts in public.
My point is, if you're satisfied with your relationship with this girl except for where your hair (or lack thereof) is concerned, why create a hassle for yourself? For me, the point of looking good is 100% for the ladies. Even if she wouldn't dump you for shaving your head (in which case, it either isn't a serious relationship or she isn't a serious person), I'd much rather have my girlfriend more attracted to me than less attracted to me.
Exceptions:
-If your remaining hair is affecting your confidence in other areas of your life, explain this to her and shave it
-This girl has no potential as "the one" and you're still somewhat on the lookout for one who might be and you feel you'll look better shaved, give shaving a try
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If you're not seeing your girl until next weekend, why not shave it down right now? If you like it enough to make a confident stand when you see her, cool. If you don't like it or you're just not sure yet, you'll have a few days stubble and be close to the #1 she's used to.
Besides, if this relationship is the real deal, 1/8" of hair difference shouldn't change anything.
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Ask forgiveness, not permission! It's pretty simple really.
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Ask forgiveness, not permission! It's pretty simple really.
Yeah, that was my suggestion, just do it and see what happens.
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I think most women (a) take pride in how their men look and (b) want to feel listened to. My wife was dead set against me shaving my head, now she's a fan (other than the little red bumps, have to work on that).
I did just do it and take my lumps, then I've grown it out a bit, shaved it off, given her some input on facial hair. It's all worked out. I think she needed to get over the shock and feel listened too.
I guess I'm advocating patience and tact. Very Canadian.
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I tried to convince her to just let me try it for a few weeks, if she doesn't get used to it, then I'll just grow back my hair (peach fuzz).
"how would you like it if I shaved my head"
Just to respond to these 2 points I'll start off by saying that my wife was horrified when I first shaved my head. She tried the "maybe I'll shave my head blah, blah, blah". When she said that I went and got my Wahl Clipper from the bathroom and set it on the table. I said "there it is, shave away". Of course, she never did. I don't think it was so much that she saw how I loved being sly as much as it was the fact that nothing she said or threatened was going to divert me from my path that got her to leave it alone. Trying to convince a woman to "let me do it" is a waste of time and energy. This is what a 6 year old boy says to his mom about the puppy that followed him home. Brother, it's either your head or it's hers. If you give up on this your balls are next. Because this is not just about a head shave, this is about 2 people in a relationship with a drastic imbalance of power. At times it becomes necessary to demonstrate to the fairer sex that their presence or absence does not determine the quality of our lives. That is what brings balance back to the relationship.
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When she said that I went and got my Wahl Clipper from the bathroom and set it on the table. I said "there it is, shave away".
:*)) :*)) :*)) :*)) :*)) :*)) :*))
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Something I need to clarify in this thread is that I mean no disrespect to either Steve or the woman in his life.
But having attained the age I have and having had several relationships with women who made a point of dominating every man in their lives by various means has left me with some benefit of experience to offer.
But what I want to offer in this thread is a piece of wisdom that I have picked up over the years from a combination of my own experience and the advice of other brothers with much more wisdom than I possess.
When I, as a man, surrender my power to make decisions for myself I know that I have dishonored myself. If I have allowed this out of fear of repercussion I normally need, later on, to find a way to attain revenge. Usually this comes out sideways. Allow me to explain.
If my wife succeeds in getting me off the sly path, even though I know that the sly path is right for me, then later on I will seek to even the score. It might manifest as a promise to gas up her car before a long trip she is taking alone. She needs to leave in the dark of morning in order to make it to her destination on time. But because of the resentment I feel about not being allowed to shave my dome I conveniently forget to gas up her car the night before.
This dirty and dishonorable response would have been rendered moot had I just stood up for myself in the first place and claimed my rightful power, as a man, to make certain decisions for myself.
So this is what I caution my younger brothers about with my tough love. Take care of business like this when it is happening and claim your power. The woman in your life will respect you because she will know that you can be trusted to be honest.
Most important, though, you will grow to respect yourself.
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Send her here. Let her consciousness be raised, her standards of "what's sexy" be purified.
Are we not hot?
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I tried to convince her to just let me try it for a few weeks, if she doesn't get used to it, then I'll just grow back my hair (peach fuzz).
"how would you like it if I shaved my head"
Because this is not just about a head shave, this is about 2 people in a relationship with a drastic imbalance of power. At times it becomes necessary to demonstrate to the fairer sex that their presence or absence does not determine the quality of our lives.
Hahaha I love the way you put this. I started laughing pretty hard when I read this because it is the truest thing there is to know about women
Edit: I definitely agree though, IF you decide to shave it don't ask her, just do it.
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... IF you decide to shave it don't ask her, just do it.
In other words, it is easier to ask for forgiveness later, than permission first !
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so how did it go fong? did you do it yet?
we need details!!!! haha
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Yeah, what he said ^^^^^^^
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"Anyways, how have you guys dealt with the ladies? "
I took the high road that Buddha alluded to.... and we broke up. but I have had several cooler ones sinces, including some real dimes
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Hey sorry for the delay guys. Didn't go sly yet. In the day or two after I posted this I went from having a clear scalp to about 30%-40% coverage in psoriasis. Had a nice little flair up. I know that shaving would make things worse right now, so once this clears up a little more, Operation Sly will resume.
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I have the "heart break" skin condition too. You may want to buzz it down, then do a no guard shave. Several years ago before Katrina, we had a guy at the gym with psoriasis of the scalp and he had to buzz his head tight to keep it under control with the various topical meds they had then. The newer meds, particularly an injection of Kenalog might do the trick. It works wonders on my palmoplantar edition pf psoriasis, every 4 months if needed to keep it under control. Talk to your doctor to see if it's applicable to scalp issues. I think it's a pretty fair trade when you balance the possible side effects, at least in my case.
Also, a no guard shave would assure contact w/ the ointments and lotions that can control it. You might have to wear a hat until the inflamation was under control. My guess would be once cleared and shaved, the shaving itself would control the issue since it's basically excess immature skin cell production and that would be exfoliated daily by the blade. You should go over this with the Dr. too.
Good luck.
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hey brother,
I have to say that I agree with what most on here have said: it's your head, do with it what you want.
While I can't say I didn't worry about my wife thinking I'm still sexy, i did not ask to do it. actually, I told her to shave it for me...:)
Seriously, you'll look and feel like a million bucks!
Brett
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Quick update:
Skin still has not cleared up, but I'll probably just end up doing it once I do clear up a little. I actually can't wait to see her face the day I do. Having a hard time getting rid of the psoriasis for some reason this time by. Not sure what's going on. Probably because it's winter and dry.
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Having a hard time getting rid of the psoriasis for some reason this time by. Not sure what's going on. Probably because it's winter and dry.
A lot of us get flare ups in cold weather--don't know why but it sucks :x!
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to Misterfong: You have to please yourself first, nobody else.. -it's your head & it's unfair for her to try & control you like this.
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Can't believe I never updated this. I ended up just doing it, she was a little >:( at first, but everything was OK after a day of acclimation. She still doesn't like it, but she doesn't mind it much anymore. She even scratches my head now (very light scratching, feels good man). She's having more fun with it now than she did before. Life is SO NICE since I've gone sly.
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Can't believe I never updated this. I ended up just doing it, she was a little >:( at first, but everything was OK after a day of acclimation. She still doesn't like it, but she doesn't mind it much anymore. She even scratches my head now (very light scratching, feels good man). She's having more fun with it now than she did before. Life is SO NICE since I've gone sly.
O0