Sly Bald Guys Forum
Discussions About Being Bald => To be or not be...Bald => Topic started by: Gene_Fighter on October 12, 2009, 09:26:00 PM
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Hey all, here's my situation:
I'm 23 now, my hairline has been receding since pretty much the second I hit puberty. On the norwood scale I would classify myself as a nw3, but if I'm having a good hair day I can conceal it down to a nw2. I've been using treatments to regrow my hair (Minoxidil and Finasteride) for about seven months now, as of yet still no changes.
I'm really stuck with a bad roll of the genetic dice in that I look like Frankenstein when my head is shaved, and I still look really bad when I'm having a bad hair day--and thus far no luck in regrowing or maintaining any of my hair...
You can see my dilemma.
Anyone have any advice, suggestions, comments?
Kind of at a crossroads right now, not sure what direction to take.
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Everyone worries about their head shape, and it's usually not really an issue. Why not post a pic and we'll judge whether to get out the torches and pitchforks?
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Welcome to SBG
As bootedbear said we can't really identify with your dilema unless you post a picture and see if you look like frankenstein or if its all in your head (sorry for the pun).
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Welcome ot the Forum GF!
You're having the same feeling many men have/have had when they see their hair receding. It's totally normal for a lot of guys.
My opinion is that you need to be done with the chemicals.....there are side effects you know......and you yourself said there have been NO results after seven months. I would save that monthly cash and put it to better use in my life if I were you.
The decision to shave is very hard for many and I'm not saying that's what you should do. But it may be omething you should consider as a better option than being tied to drugs.
Post up a photo for us.
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Koz told you the absolute truth about the drugs. They really don't work as you might have hoped. It's hard w/o a picture since most guys are harder on themselves regarding their own appearance than they need to be.
But assuming you have gotten to the n/h 3 stage, it's probably the tipping point for most guys. At that point the short cut, Statham style can work for most guys for a while, particularly at your age. The only thing that would prevent that is if the remaining hair isn't symmetrical--that makes the look a little hard to achieve.
If your hair isn't really coming out fast, i.e. hair on the pillow, clogging the brush and the shower drain, you may have several years before your mpb is critical. If it is dropping out fast you may have two or three years until you're unmistakably a bald guy w/ a fringe. But whether fast or slow, you're going to be bald--and you have to find a way to accept that fact and recognize that it isn't a defect, disease or disability at all. I think your Frankenstein reference is probably a reflection of the season and no where near reality. There is, quite frankly, a period after a guy shaves when there is a feeling of, "Who's that dude in the mirror?" That passes for everyone and it will for you too. No one, absolutely no one, looks better sporting a dying mop as opposed to a nice clean dome--no one. Just look in the galleries on this sight, particularly the before and after shots. Most of us have decided to control our fate, get in front of it and shave. Once you take control, then the problem will be behind you.
By the time you're 30, at least a quarter of your friends and acquaintances will also be dealing w/ mpb in some degree--you will have just got there first.
W/o a picture, I'd suggest you do a really tight buzz, #1 or #2--and live with it for a while. You'll then start noticing how many other guys are dealing w/ it too, many by shaving. Then read up on the how to shave you head section and try it. Keep it for thirty days, and my bet, and that of my bald buddies here, is that you'll like it, you'll get lots of compliments and you will have put this all behind you. Of course, some family and friends will criticize you, many of us had that. In a very real way this site is the antidote for that kind of reaction. They'll get over it, learn to accept or even like it. You just need to focus on one thing, you. Get this behind you, and you will free yourself up for the things that are really fun and enjoyable in life.
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Hello Gene. Welcome to the forum. Listen to these guys-they know what they are talking about. I have a full head of hair but it is starting to thin all over the top. Not genes so much as age. I'm one of the seniors on the site. Remember, hair is an accessory and not that big of a thing. It IS what you have on the inside that counts. You say you think you look llike Frankenstein? Just remember the childhood fabel about the ugly duckling. One you shave----- Good luck on your decision, we are behind you.
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Welcome Gene. As others are no doubt going to say...shave it now and stick with our 30 day rule. Many of your concerns will no doubt be gone by then and your confidence way up.
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You will never know until you try it! Post a pic, The guys here will give you honest suggestions!!!!
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Hey Gene, welcome to SBG's, you've come to the right place for encouragement.
First thing you've gotta do is give up the drugs. It's not good for you, period. Save yourself some money and grief like Mike said.
Try a close buzz first to see how you feel, you may end up liking it a lot. From there if you want you can shave it down. I would bet that you'll like it and may choose to keep it. You won't know til you give it a shot.
Keep us posted on your progress. O0
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Dude, I'm 23 too and know what your going though.I started rogaine for about a month and a half and was considering other drugs but honestly, going totally bald has been the biggest stress reliever since my male pattern baldness became agressive.I'm 23 and a future norwood 6 or 7.Im not fully comfortable with this look yet either but it's A HELL of a lot better then watching your hair thin and receede.It takes some adjusting and time to get comfortable with yourself, but I say shaving bald is totally worth it.Can't personally wait till being bald is just the norm for me.
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Do what we ask all guys to do - shave it for 30 days and then make a decision as to what you want to do in the future. I think I already know the answer.
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(https://www.slybaldguys.com/smf/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi932.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fad169%2FGene_Fighter%2Fwidowspeak1.jpg&hash=8a371340bbbe96b4bd49293e8b452d22dd754aaa)
(https://www.slybaldguys.com/smf/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi932.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fad169%2FGene_Fighter%2FDSC00269.jpg&hash=67566a1d81b4bba76fcf03e8aa6cb1ec1e258e45)
(https://www.slybaldguys.com/smf/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi932.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fad169%2FGene_Fighter%2FDSC00284.jpg&hash=1880b0d504d88db77dd0a34de73868911a12b622)
(https://www.slybaldguys.com/smf/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi932.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fad169%2FGene_Fighter%2Ffront--sweptback.jpg&hash=fb2a13df8e823539d72a86c9d9d98a449c34fa39)
(https://www.slybaldguys.com/smf/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi932.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fad169%2FGene_Fighter%2Ffront--styled.jpg&hash=03356db2c6107bb33d05a6a535881b6a8c2dfb6d)
Hello everyone, thanks for your quick responses and comments.
I've attached some pics to this post, hopefully they give you a good perspective of my current hairloss pattern and how it usually looks. Note that in the "Front-styled" pic, it takes a little bit of time to style it like that, and rarely looks that good. Primarily the worst part is the receding hairline along the temples; the widow's peak can be covered up and a thinning top will respond relatively well to treatment, but not much can be done for a receding hairline.
Unfortunately I don't have any digital pics of when my head was shaved with a buzzer, they're all polaroids from probably about two years ago--so I know that it's only become worse since then. Frankly I wasn't happy at all with the shaved look, ended up wearing a hat pretty much the entire time, so I'm not ready right now to shave it again just to see. I'm quite positive I would not be happy with it. Still, if my hairloss soon becomes worse, I might not have any choice....
Hopefully with the "front-sweptback" pic you can at least get some kind of perception of what I look like shaved, so tell me what you think.
At this point, I've been using Finasteride for about 7 months (recommended a year before evaluating results) and a form of Minoxidil for about 2 months (recommended 3 months before evaluating), so I'm going to stick out for about another 5 months--I've invested this much already, pointless to stop now. And actually, comparing these newer pics to the older ones, I can see some slight regrowth and maintenance on the top of my head, and I do feel that the ravenous recession of my hairline is starting to slow.
I realize that at this point in my life, my hairloss hasn’t yet reached its “tipping point” where I need to make a decision to keep it or shave it—but I’m only 23, so I know this decision will be coming soon, probably within the next few years, which is why I am preparing for it now.
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G_F, here's a couple of things you should note.
Finasteride has many problematic side effects that you should be aware of. The two big ones are depression and erectyle dysfunction. Now, I'm guessing you are worried about going bald because you want to meet someone. Well, first you need confidence, and being depressed is not going to offer you that, regardless of how much hair you have. Secondly, when you do meet that person and you progress to a sexual relationship, are you going to want to be able to perform? So, what have you really invested in?
Who recommends taking Finasteride for 1 year? Let me guess, it's probably the manufacturer. That's because they want a years worth of your money before you find out it really isn't what you are looking for.
You are obviously worried about your hairline because you are here. My suggestion is that you shave your head down all the way with a razor, not a buzz cut like you had before. There is a HUGE difference between the two. Keep it for 30 days and you then decide if you have more confidence and a better outlook. If you don't then grow your hair out and keep on with the drugs.
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The drugs you are taking directly relate to the sex hormones. Before you decide whether or not to shave your head, you're going to be bald at some point anyway, you need to do some serious investigation of the side effects, and prepared with those questions ask your doctor who is prescribing Finasteride if he tests for any of the side effects on any regular basis. The Minoxidil is an over the counter drug, so the recommendation you speak of has to come from the package--that's not independent nor is it actually a medical opinion. You also need to investigate the side effects of this medication.
Drugs all have a price, nothing is a magic bullet, nor do either of the drugs have the ability to restore hair permanently, it will ultimately fall out, on the street. The only way you can "keep" your hair is at home in a box. Sad but true.
Good luck, I hope you're one of the "lucky" ones who gets away with putting these drugs in your body without any serious short or long term problems. Drugs are worse than rugs--rugs just take your money, drugs can take your health. Neither is a permanent answer--that will come from within. Best of luck.
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youre a candidate to shave it clean.
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First of all, to me you don't appear to be balding that bad yet. Do you even get comments about it? Honestly if I met you right now, it would not even cross my mind. I'm not saying that you aren't going bald it's just that to me it isn't all that apparent--you just look like you have a masculine hairline. Secondly, you don't have a frankenstein head. Honestly I'd trade you in a second haha.
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Well with the pictures, you have some receding of the hairline and definate thinning on top, so the drugs aren't doing that much, but the side effects may be with you for life. You, like others, are at the point of spending a whole lot of time worrying about something you cannot stop, and that's wasting your life. Once you get your arms around the fact you're going to be bald notwithstanding the beating the drugs are giving your entire body, not just your scalp, and look aroound at the number of guys who have accepted it, shaved, gotten in front and are controlling your own life again you're going to shave. Now or later, hair by hair, or take control--it's up to you. And you only have one body, do you really want to take the chance that you will be one of the unlucky ones that has to deal with the side effects, even after you've accepted baldness and moved on. Those drugs are dangerous, I can't say that too often.
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I think you should go with a close buzz, military style hair cut. It'll be better for your hair, it will look better and you'll be able to see any results from the drug treatments more clearly. Personally, I think you're wasting your time with the drugs, they're crap and will just make you more and more anxious about the impending loss of your hair not to mention possibly having a detrimental effect on your overall health. Physical and mental.
When you go down that road, a lot of guys turn into mirror happy, stressed out, obsessive pansies that have no self esteem. If you're going to stay that course, my advice would be to spend some extra effort learning how to accept who are are and focus on other ways to boost your confidence. Because you struggle with this, even your best hair days won't give you more confidence. You just won't have less.
Remember, it's called "Male Pattern Baldness". You're not alone and for a lot of us, it's simply part of being a man.
For what it's worth, chicks dig me and my bald head. I'll put my noggin against any thin whispy hairsprayed doo any day. Bring it.
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At this point, I've been using Finasteride for about 7 months (recommended a year before evaluating results) and a form of Minoxidil for about 2 months (recommended 3 months before evaluating), so I'm going to stick out for about another 5 months--I've invested this much already, pointless to stop now.
I disagree. The sooner you stop wasting your time and money and risking the side effects, the better.
And actually, comparing these newer pics to the older ones, I can see some slight regrowth and maintenance on the top of my head, and I do feel that the ravenous recession of my hairline is starting to slow.
I never took any kind of drug at all for hair loss, but I also went through periods where I seemed to lose a lot of hair, and then the hair loss would slow down or even seem to stop for several months at a time. I wouldn't attribute any slowing down of MPB's progression to the drugs. And as you said before, you're only 23. God willing, you'll live another 60 or 70 years. Do you really want to be on those drugs for that long??
I realize that at this point in my life, my hairloss hasn’t yet reached its “tipping point” where I need to make a decision to keep it or shave it—but I’m only 23, so I know this decision will be coming soon, probably within the next few years, which is why I am preparing for it now.
No, it's not at the tipping point yet based on the photos you posted. But the day is coming. If you do nothing else, at least stop taking the meds. I noticed my hair starting to thin and recede when I was about 20, and honestly, it progressed so slowly that most people didn't even realize it. I started shaving my head when I was 35. I had some serious thinning and recession going on at that point, but I still wasn't yet what most people would call "bald". The rest seems to have disappeared sometime duriing the past six years. I'm probably getting close to Norwood 7 now, but it has taken nearly 20 years to get to this point from where you are right now. Everyone is different; it's impossible to predict how long it will take for you to reach the advanced stages of MPB, but I do think you have some time before it becomes a major concern.
That being said, I really wish I had started shaving my head when I was about 21 or 22. It wasn't a common look back then, as it is now, but I really wish I had done it because it would have saved me years of agonizing and obssessing over my hair loss and constantly checking in the mirror to see if it was getting any worse. Back then my strategy was to hold on to my hair for as long as possible, but I've come to see that line of thinking as counter-productive. It's really better to accept one's fate, shave the dome, and move on. It's very liberating and a lot less stressful. You might not be quite ready for it yet, but do yourself a favor and don't put off the decision for too long.
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Hey guys, sorry for the late reply, been busy lately. I've been considering all your advice and trying to get my hair closer to shaved, but still leave a bit on the top as well, just as a happy medium. For years I've been getting pretty much the same haircut style and for the past few years it has just looked worse and worse, so I'm really just trying to find out what works for me and my new hairline now. Like I said before I'm not ready to shave it all off at this point in my hairloss progression (because I know from my last experience I wasn't happy with it) so tell me what you think of the following haircut pics, what seems to work, what doesn't.
Few weeks ago I had a haircut I wasn't happy with:
(https://www.slybaldguys.com/smf/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi932.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fad169%2FGene_Fighter%2Fbadshorthaircut--front.jpg&hash=1022dd86e218d8c9800063bb2fcf408aa8fb5c7a)
You can see how when the hair is longer on the sides it really exaggerates my receding hairline. So I decided to go even shorter on the sides recently, and I wanted more taken off the top as well, but unfortunately she didn't take that much off the top and I didn't really realize it until later:
(https://www.slybaldguys.com/smf/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi932.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fad169%2FGene_Fighter%2Fshort--front.jpg&hash=291b356d09947178834305b2b25409da550ec318)
(https://www.slybaldguys.com/smf/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi932.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fad169%2FGene_Fighter%2Fshort--side1.jpg&hash=6c696f3109f50f49fd010868f7c29ec86e844e51)
(https://www.slybaldguys.com/smf/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi932.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fad169%2FGene_Fighter%2Fshort--side2.jpg&hash=c01ea3d7d48e19df831f83fd70c1d70c2c7a0a0a)
I tried to get some extreme side-shots in there so you can see where my hairline is at. Keep in mind all these pics are with the hair on the top swept forward a bit.
The following pics are from about a month ago with my hair longer:
(https://www.slybaldguys.com/smf/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi932.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fad169%2FGene_Fighter%2Flong--front.jpg&hash=85987a868dd4168b2f1470b4507b27c15a6f7de2)
(https://www.slybaldguys.com/smf/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi932.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fad169%2FGene_Fighter%2Flong--side.jpg&hash=5acd107ffb8f24279bbcbb0080b780f78f95dc90)
While I enjoyed the comfort of having my hair longer, usually it just looked terrible, required way too much styling time to even look presentable, and there were many days where it was just completely un-manageable, and looked like crap.
My current game plan right now is just to find a haircut style that looks decent, continue with my treatments for at least another five months, and re-evaluate my results. I haven't had any side-effects at all with the Finasteride and Minoxidil and while I realize the effects over an extremely long time period are possibly unknown, at this stage in my life it is a price I am more than willing to take.
I know I sound overly narcissistic/vain considering my hairloss isn't extreme yet, but my hairloss has been gnawing on me for years, I know how fast it moves and I know it's only getting rapidly worse, so I really do feel justified in my vanity. There aren't many guys like us who even have to worry about MPB (particularly at this younger age), so I also feel justified in that regard.
I am however realistic about my self-image and about my hairloss in general. I don't want to look completely youthful forever, I just want to maintain a somewhat youthful appearance until I'm hopefully thirty. I don't want to give some sob story about how unfair my life has been--I had it so bad, boo-hoo--and now I'm balding. Life hasn't been a cake-walk for me, but I know it could've been much worse, I'm grateful for everything I've experienced, good and bad, and as Americans, we by default have it so good compared to the hell some citizens in other countries must live with. But suffice it to say, the circumstances of my life have made me feel that I deserve to keep some aspect of my youthful looks for as long as I can.
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First of all, to me you don't appear to be balding that bad yet. Do you even get comments about it? Honestly if I met you right now, it would not even cross my mind. I'm not saying that you aren't going bald it's just that to me it isn't all that apparent--you just look like you have a masculine hairline. Secondly, you don't have a frankenstein head. Honestly I'd trade you in a second haha.
Thanks! That is reassuring, but yeah I've had comments about it, nothing malicious of course but just general comments. Also keep in mind the photos tend to look better than how I look in real life.
Honestly, if I was older, this wouldn't bother me nearly as much, it's just that I'm so young and this is happening, and I've seen it coming for years, and during a pivotal stage where most of us are more insecure and lack self-confidence--it took its emotional toll on me, although I wouldn't accept it at the time. If I was older and balding, really wouldn't be a big deal for me at all.
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Honestly, if I was older, this wouldn't bother me nearly as much ... If I was older and balding, really wouldn't be a big deal for me at all.
Yes, it would. Do you think there's ever a good time for this to start happening?
Go to a barber and get the top buzzed down to a #2, with the sides and back a little tighter, tapered in the back. That will be tidy and fairly maintenance free. It will also help to prepare you to get used to having a little less hair, without being too drastic.
Clearly you're not ready for a complete shave yet, and I don't think you've lost so much hair yet that it's your only option. But since you're obviously unhappy with your current haircut, a buzz cut is your best option.
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dude, you look perfectly fine with hair. i wouldn't buzz or shave or anything like that! your haircut looks cool man. noone else can see the thinning or receeding that you see. it looks good. worry about it in maybe ten years!!
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I save it and let it grow back if you want. What do you have to lose?
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Nice glasses Gene 8) O:O :)
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You look like Jude Law and that's not bad!
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shave it off. Its going to come off sooner or later then you and everyone else will be use to the bald style
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How can I put this delicately....
LIFE DOESN'T GIVE A DAMN ABOUT YOUR RATHERS!!!!!!!
Hell, I'd rather not DIE but nobody asked me... and that's the bottom line. You're gonna live and die, and somewhere in the middle you'll go bald and pay taxes.
I apologize if I seem less than sympathetic, but seeing as how you and I share a pair of shoes in terms of hairloss, I know that no amount of positive feedback from the people in this forum will completely dissolve your fears. You're just gonna have to get there and see for yourself. You can't make time pass any faster than it always has, so the only other option you have is try the suggestions in this forum.
PowerOfCheese said it best: "It's really better to accept one's fate, shave the dome, and move on."
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Gene-Fighter: You're not ready for us as of yet. See u in a few years.
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I did the drugs for years and nothing other than empty pockets. I did Rogaine for years (starting back in the late 80's when you had to have a prescription). I did proscar (brand name for finasteride) for years. The results for me -- nothing other than a bunch of money down the drain. Do your body a big favor and don't take the drugs. The only one who benefits is the drug manufacturer.
FYI -- one of the side effects of finasteride is an increase in estrogen levels in your body. Estrogen grows breast tissue. Unless you're interest in growning moobs and wearing a bro (male form of a bra) -- get the heck off finasteride!
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Dude I have to say that it doesnt look too bad in the photos but if your hairloss is getting to you then I recommend you buzz it to a 2 or 3.
I was in a very similar position to you about 3 years ago and after about a weeks deliberation I got my mates to shave my head down to a 3, then I let it grow back for about a month but I liked the look and not being self consious so I bought my own clippers and clipped it down to a 4 for about 3 months then to a 2 (about a month into my new job) and then about 2 months later I put it down to a 1 and have been there ever since and I love it....
Do yourself a favour and knock the drugs. Minoxidil only works while you take it and can stop working at any time and Propecia gives you man boobs and lots of other problems - there are forums about the problems! Not good - I tooks propecia for about 2 months before I thought about what I could be doing to my body in the long term