Sly Bald Guys Forum
Discussions About Being Bald => To be or not be...Bald => Topic started by: drew411 on October 02, 2009, 12:43:42 PM
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First of all just want to say hello sly bald guys, the names Drew and i'm new here.
Heres my story...
Well I am 25 years old and my hairline has been receding really bad at the temples. Its been receding for quite a few years but now its been getting really thin at the top. Lately, Ive gone about a little over 7 months without a haircut and my hair is getting shaggy/long but looks ridiculous at the front as its thinning.
I am in one heck of a situation as well. I wear hats/beanies EVERYTIME I go out. Its making me depressed and i'm getting tired of hiding behind them. But I also have a big forehead, not super huge but it is big as friends/ex gfs have told me before...so I get quite self conscious about it..its kind of the reason why ive been wearing headware out for the past few years....
As far as cutting it, I actually buzzed my hair down to a number 2 summer of last year and february of this year. I got compliments from quite a number of people at work, girls and guys..though i did get a harsh going bald comment from a few friends. So after that, I figured the number 2 buzzcut wasnt "me" or good for me and id let my hair grow long again to see if it would cover up the receding hairline...while hiding behind caps/beanies. And its been growing....
With me the thing with hair is, ive had long hair from about age 19-24. Its actually the time in my life where I attracted the most females from. So i'm kinda conditioned to think id only get girls with long hair..Hell even now though I wear a beanie/hat, my hair is pretty long and already attracting girls...thing is, I hide it because of my top and its really depressing me since there is this girl at college that is totally into me. Just started dating and all and I don't know what to do other than maybe just give another attempt at cutting it to a number 1 this time. But fear I will get rejected if i do. She has yet to ask me why i wear caps/beanies everytime she sees me but I'm sure as I hang out with her more she will.
So I want to ask you great sly bald men what do you think is best for my hair? and also have any of you been in a situation like me where you were going bald and hiding it from a girl you were seeing? I would definately appreciate the responses...thank you so much...this hairline is making me so depressed:(
My last straw at the moment is getting some shampoo called Doo-Grow hair strengthener that a friend recommended as she said it looks like my hairline is receding because of bad hair care and not genetics and to try and see if it fills in. But i'm not keeping my hope as I hear many of those don't work.
ps. I could send pics if you would like to see how i looked when I number 2'd my hair
edit, heres the pic of my number 2 a few months back.
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Oh yeah, hair and girls. I hear you. Listen, first of all it's good to have you here.
So many things I can relate to in your story. I remember well the time I had long hair, it was a good look for me. But it's time to live in this moment now. No point in looking back and wishing for things that can't be aquired. Here is something to think about. The way I see it everyone of us has the right to look the best they can right now. I've been where you are at the moment, with receding temples and thinning top. Buzzed down or shaved head is the best look for me now and I'm happy to have that look.
Considering girls, I'm sure you do a lot better with a buzzcut or chromedome than with thin hair and worrying if your scalp is shining through too much. And wearing caps. Some guys don't care about their thinning hair and they are good despite their hair. But even for them there are moments of anxiety in front of mirror every now and then. But for most guys balding is an issue which can be easily fixed. You know how ;)
Maybe you think about medicine. I strongly advice against using them. For example Rogaine. You go to your girl's place and quickly sneak into the bathroom to fix your hair. Then you come back with your messy and wet from some strange greasy stuff. No, that's not what you want. You want to be a confident feel-good guy. You have the right to feel the best you can. Don't let those hair issues put you down.
One last thing. About the shape of your head. Everyone of us is different. That's the way it's meant to be. Everyone has his own distinctive looks. You need to be proud of your looks. If #2 buzzcut isn't you then go for #1 or #0.5 or shave it off. The less hair you have the less you have to worry about.
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Welcome to the Forum Drew! Dude...pump up your self confidence and be yourself.....take care of yourself and everything else will fall into place.
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It's always a mistake to try and conceal hair loss with hats or by growing your hair longer. It doesn't fool anyone and it always makes you look worse. Long, thinning hair doesn't look good on anybody. You'll look a lot better with a buzzcut. You'll look balder, but you will also look a lot tidier and you'll be more confident. If you shave your head completely, it will pretty much conceal the receding hairline.
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Thanks for the responses guys. I really appreciate them. I know there are some things I really need to work on...especially confidence. I have charm and all, but I feel it comes out more when I have/had long hair..I feel totally different with short hair. But i should really take into mind that girls say/have said they like me because i'm a really cool, real, chill laid back guy and a musician.
But I am also tired of hiding behind the caps/beanies as I said earlier and just want to be me for once. Ive been put on the spot lately by a few friends asking me why I always wear a cap, and even one who sometimes tries to snatch my hat from my head, it sucks and im getting tired of it. Ive had to hit the sucker a few times :/
I still don't see why my family doesn't see nothing wrong with it. I mention anything about shaving my head to a 1 to my parents and they flip out and say my hair is ok..but it aint. My siblings are cool with it though...
I dont have the courage yet to go a full 0, but perhaps later in the month I will go to a number 1.
My main concern is getting over wearing a cap all the time and getting this over before anything serious happens with this girl who im kinda seeing...I dont want her pulling my hat off to reveal my recede :/ Kills me though cuz she does dig long hair, but dont mind short since her ex bfs had short hair...
.btw ill try and get some pics posted later of how i looked when I got a number 2 haircut a while back.
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You don't need hair. There's a lot more to you than just that. And don't discuss buzzing or shaving your hair with anyone ahead of time -- especially family members. They'll just try to talk you out of it. Parents are especially resistant to changes like this in their children -- but if you stand their ground, they'll eventually come around.
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i haven't been here for awhile, and decided i'd browse the new topics. i couldn't help but reply, Drew. i'll keep this as short as possible.
i'm also 25. in college too. i started balding badly (thinning, major receeding) at 20. i always had nice longer hair that the ladies dug. it made me feel like a ladies man.......... i thought. long story short, i shaved my head because i couldn't stand hiding behind caps all day and not playing sports/swimming because i'd mess up my wispy hair do. and i realized i wasn't fooling anyone but myself. first i buzzed to a 1 for awhile then shaved. once i got used to the look, i realized the thing that made me feel like a ladies man before was the confidence i had projected. my family gave me a horrible hard time over my shaved head. but now, they realized i'm not going to change it so they leave me be. i feel like a whole new man. i did what was best FOR ME! i can do all the things i was avoiding before. and, i've been dating the coolest, smartest, sexiest girl i've ever dated. if a woman judges you over something as miniscule as your hair/lack of, she's a superficial B$#%&@ that you don't want to waste your time with anyway. if this girl really digs you, she won't care about your hair. forget whether you shave it or not, the moral of the story is do whatever you can to improve your confidence in yourself. if that means buzz/shave , then do it. you'll never be truely happy until you feel good about and accept yourself for who you are. and you can't be happy with someone else until you're happy with yourself. :)
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Drew, first off-Welcome! I've noticed on the forum concerning the girl-hair issue that most of the guys are worried about the girls reacton to hair. Any girl/woman worth her salt will look beyond hair or lack thereof. It's the inner person that matters. Also, say you meet a female that you have a connection with- once a relationship is established why not go ahead and bring up the subject of your hair loss? IMO it's best to get it out in the open. If she balks, so be it-no salt. If she says it doesn't matter, this person is worth the effort to further the relationship. Nuff said!
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Just buzz it and enjoy it!!
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Drew! your story mirrors mine, buddy. i kid you not, it's as if you are me a couple years ago. all of it - the long hair/the thinning hair that shattered my confidence/buzzing down to # 2/growing back out and it looking ridiculous/back to #2/friends telling me as if i didnt know that i was going bald/hiding behind hats & beanies/seeing a girl who i met wearing a cap (she will ask about the headwear/you will be forced to reveal)/worrying about going to clip #1..and so on.
i know you are at the stage where you are seeking advice right now. i almost wanna type out exactly how it is gonna go down for you. bottom line is, there is so much unforeseen hope and a strapping looking, confident Drew is in your future! i can only promise you this. best thing you can do is buzz it to a #1 right now.
(https://www.slybaldguys.com/smf/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.mudtrap.com%2Fimages%2Fben-stiller.gif&hash=651f2f63fba6424e65b6db5f4d8e34c76932686b)
youll see. youll discover on your own, in truth. you do not feel better about it yet, but one day you will look back at these miserable days while smiling at your clean cut, uncovered dome in the mirror. i feel like a jerk for using another male celeb example in like post number 4, but just to show you how it goes/will turn out..
James Blake:
(https://www.slybaldguys.com/smf/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.jamesblaketennis.com%2Fjb%2520images%2F03_jb_trophy2.jpg&hash=5c1df9100d699e4930e32dcf9b06504371ceefae)
(https://www.slybaldguys.com/smf/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.jamesblaketennis.com%2Fnew_images%2F04_15_hopman.jpg&hash=16a41e9e178305f07c74ba7d504e0e1d3d545bdb)
(https://www.slybaldguys.com/smf/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fbp0.blogger.com%2F_JzOQJjUPxGM%2FRtxZKmFoMyI%2FAAAAAAAACmE%2FOmfHbqGlF_w%2Fs400%2FPicture%2B4.png&hash=64967b40f37c552a09e501909c4365b5f65857d1)
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If I had to type out my story it would be pretty much the same thing ha, but im years younger. Im still looking for the balls to do it myself. When I finally do it im just going straight to sly. Goodluck to the both of us.
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Drew, how you doing i just joimed this site a few days ago and shaved my head completely bald yesturday. i am 21 years old and bald so dont feel to bad if you read my comment yesturday in the confidence section i think we sounds alot alike...except my message was sloppy becasue i was nervous and in a hurry, but i see alot of similarities in us. i would not leave the house without a hat for the last jesus id say 3 or some odd years. i buzzed my head like a year and half ago but i eventually decided even then i still wore a hat and was self conscious. my parents, friends, and sibilings always gave me s*** about being bald but then my mom would awlays yell if i said i was going to shave it all saying it looked fine. but anyways i finally did it and i feel much better. i went out for the first time yesturday without a hat and being im in a small town of tennessee it was only to walmart and a few small stores lol but hey you got to start somewhere. but i have to go to class, and hey im not wearing a hat i vowed not to wear a hat for 30 days. wish me luck im just as nervous as you. so when you decide to finally let go of that awful hairline let me know im sure you'll wonder why you didnt do it sooner. later matt
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Drew,
Like others have said, I can relate to your story 100%. I too am at the stage you're currently whallowing in. I've been thining out and receding in the front for several years and it has destroyed me without question. I just buzzed it down to a #1 and horrified. I think with the longer hair I felt like I was foolling people into believing I had a full head of hair. Now I have no choice but to show off what God has blessed with with (or without for that matter). I'm having a hard time coming to terms with this, but with each day brings new hope. My regards to you and your struggle. Take Care
P.S. I like to see those pictures of the #2 cut to see how it is. I have come to realize often times we are our own worst enemies when it comes to appearance.
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Hey all, thanks for the many replies. You don't know how much i appreciate them. Sometimes i feel like i'm the only person with this issue. Though im surprised at the fact that there are quite a few of you who are/been on the same boat as me...
Well originally I was gonna wait till mid november to buzz my hair down to a 1. But rewind to last nite.....
I went to go hang out with this girl i'm kinda seeing(the one i talked about in my first post in this topic) and well.....after a great night of hanging out, she just had to bring up the "ive never seen you without your beanie" eeeh...not what I expected to hear so soon, as ive only been hanging/going out with her for almost a month, and feelings are getting stronger on both our parts. I feel so ashamed to say this, but I just told her my long hair is still growing out and looks kind of awkard still...Though i also did mention I planned to cut it really short soon....the subject soon changed after that into something else. Anyone else been in a situation like this? just curious
So with that guys, I figure its time to do this soon?(maybe this week) Its going to be really hard, But I need to buzz my hair down to a 1 as soon as possible.
btw, I am not ready to go sly, too big of a step(though i will most likely go that route in the coming years)...Though I am trying to get ready to take it down to a 1
Currently the back of my hair is very long almost hitting my shoulders, but the front is barely up to my eyebrows and very wispy. I just want to be myself and not have to worry about things like this...its taking over my life pretty bad now...ugh
well here is a pic when i got a "2" back in late february...what do u think? Part of the reason why I still lag on this is because I have a big forehead and still get self conscious about it
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welcome and shave it clean./
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I'm with Marty22, gotta shave it atleast to see how you like it.
I was in your situation a year and a half ago.... Now I'm rejuvenated and loving life more than ever.
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Drew, you're overthinking this. First, you've got the first signs of mpb--and that means one day, possibly sooner than you think you'd like, you're going to be bald. That's a hard fact. Question, does the balding control you or you control the balding? Most of us w/ mpb just got out in front of it and haven't looked back. You can wait for nature to do it, or you can--it's really that simple.
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Hey, I've got nothin' but compliments since I shaved (mostly from women) so just go ahead, you won't be sorry!
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drew i was in the same situation six years ago, in january 2004, i went to a number 2 buzz, then in march i went to a number 1 buzz, in april of 2004, i was bic'd for the first time, i did the 90 day rule, and in late June of 2004, i decided to keep it clean,
I'd bic it if i was you
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hey bite the bullet.. it will be well worth it. Go for the buzz and trust me you will get your confidence back.
The worst times that I have had with my thinning hair is when I have let them grow out enough and then worry about em
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Without seeing any pictures, it's impossible to know how advanced your hair loss is -- but even if you're only in the early stages, the best thing you can do is shave it clean. Even if you're not ready for full-time permanent baldness, give it a try for a month or two. It will grow back and when the day comes when you do have to shave your dome clean forever, it will be much less scary. I really wish I'd shaved my head about 10 years earlier and short-circuited the whole long, drawn out balding process.
I realize that this may not be what you want to hear, but it is what you need to hear.
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well guys, im going off to the barber shop in a bit...Thanks so much for the advice. I just cant stand this ridiculous hair now......I truly wish i could keep my long hair but its just not happening with my receding temples and very whispy bangs. I realize im just fooling myself with my hats/beanies and my long hair growing out underneath it.
I thought growing it long would cover up up front, but no way. My bangs are whispy and the back of my hair is thick...looks way too awkward, especially since i have a big forehead. I dont know why I grew it out again, but im no longer going to do that.
I still don't have the courage to go full sly yet...later im sure of it, but I still do have hair on top. Im just gonna have to get use to going to the barber every 2 weeks or so to get a number 1.
I want to be myself and not have to wear hats/beanies all the damn time. The girl im seeing has been asking to see me without my hat but ive been hesitating...so id rather show her with the number 1 buzzcut than the horrible hair i have now....thanks once again for all your replies, i appreciate it!
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Good move O0. One caution, I only lasted three days at #1--just had to feel it to the bone. So nice, really so nice--maybe that's where you're headed?
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Good move O0. One caution, I only lasted three days at #1--just had to feel it to the bone. So nice, really so nice--maybe that's where you're headed?
#1 can be a bit of a shock the very first time. It seems very bald until you get used to it -- which really only takes a day or two. But if you're that short anyway, it's a good opportunity to take it down to the skin. It grows back to #1 length in 6 or 7 days. You'll come to that conclusion on your own timetable, but if giving you a little nudge is helpful -- why postpone the inevitable? Just let it happen.
I also went shorter in stages; I understand how difficult it can be to go sly all at once. But the problem with a #1 is that it really doesn't conceal the receded hairline. It does make it look better, but it's still there facing you every time you look in the mirror. Eventually you'll come to terms with the fact that you're destined to be bald. Once you accept that and realize that resistance is futile, it's a lot easier to let go of your hair completely. The peace of mind that comes with shaving your head clean is priceless.
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I went shorter and shorter gradually. I buzzed it to a "zero" on top and "skin" on the sides for at least a year before I went sly. The funny thing is that once I went completely sly, I stopped wearing beanies or hats, I just felt better without them.
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saintc is correct. The urge to go all the way is hard to contain. I started going shorter and shorter. Then I realized I could buy my own clippers and do the same thing at home for free because all you do is put on the attachment and buzz all over - all 1 length. But it wasn't long before I said, 'screw it, I have to know what it looks like slick. I'm almost there anyway.' That was 5 years ago this month, perhaps even this very day - I can't remember which day in October it was - pretty sure it was the 3rd week. Good luck!
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Drew, you GOTTA shave it. YOU MUST!
You will be a new man, I promise you. Quit stalling and just do it. You can thank us after.