Sly Bald Guys Forum
Discussions About Being Bald => To be or not be...Bald => Topic started by: navdoc on July 31, 2009, 04:29:02 AM
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I'm really trying to decide whether or not to live the sly lifestyle. To preface, I've always been extremely insecure about the way I look. I finally got comfortable with myself a couple of years ago just in time to start losing my hair. I've been fighting the battle for 5 years (rogaine/propecia) and everything's been pretty stable until the last year. I graduated college, joined the navy, and have been stationed overseas working as a dental officer with the marines. I've been extremely stressed out and I think that kicked the mpb into overdrive. I panicked about six months ago and got a hair transplant. Since then, I have been almost suicidal due to how it looks, the thought of dealing with it the rest of my life, and dealing with some of the side effects of the medication (which I'm now locked into forever). I've shaved it down a few times trying to cope but the donor scar is brutal and at 27 it's hard enough just to deal with losing your hair, let alone looking like someone who had brain surgery. I can't stop thinking about how bad it looks, I have no friends or family here for support, and I'm afraid I'll never find someone who'll think I'm attractive again. I know you are all a little biased on the lifestyle but I need some honest opinions. I'm including a couple of pictures I took yesterday. I'm also going to be dealing with seeing patients every day for the rest of my life. I can't believe I spent $10K to butcher myself like this. Any advice, suggestions are really appreciated. Thanks
link to pictures:
http://s102.photobucket.com/albums/m106/dragondw/To%20be%20or%20not%20to%20be/
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OK Doc......I'm skipping formalities here because your post has scared me like no post I've ever seen on this Forum before.
When I see the word "suicidal" that's scary.
I looked at your photos and the scar is pretty bad....no doubt about that. You will have to live with that scar because of a past poor decision. There's nothing you can do about that now so it is what it is. Some folks believe that applying cocoa butter to scars several times a day helps fade them but I don't know if that's true.
Please understand that my opinion is NOT biased.....it's just how I see things in the bigger picture of life. Hair loss and even your scar are no big deal. Why? Because they should not define who you are or what you are as a man. What's inside your heart and mind are what define you. You MUST find it in yourself to KNOW that this is true and that everything else is just "stuff".
You're at an age where many guys are really just figuring themselves and their own lives out. Taker this time to re-evaluate the important things in your life.
My friend..... People are dying of horrible diseases every day, kids are homeless, many elderly are lonely and eating dog food to survive, and we're strapping guns on our young men and women and sending them all over the world to be killed...... I'm thinking that maybe you and I don't have it bad at all.
I recommend you seek the help/advice of your Chaplain or Pastor. Pray with him/her. Find Peace with who you are. Like who you are. And move on.
Also remember, when you are happy with yourself and your place in life, that special someone will come along. Positive energy will draw good people to you.
Get off the drugs..... they aren't doing you any good....especially in the state of mind you are in.
PLEASE PM me directly if you need to talk off line.
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Take a deep breath, man. I promise it's not that bad. I'm only 23, so I know EXACTLY where you're at. I am BEGGING YOU to not waste the remainder of your 20s trapped inside your own head. I swear, you'll regret THAT more than hair loss.
1.) You can totally pull off the sly look. Your facial structure, head size, etc. are all very conducive to head shaving. I would recommend smiling more, though. If you let this eat you alive, people will probably react negatively to your sour/depressed disposition/ insecurity much more than your shaved head.
2.) Your can never remove your scar entirely. However, there are PROVEN methods of scar reduction/removal that have an EXTREMELY high rate of success. You have lots of options. A friend of mine is a PA for a clinic that does a lot of microdermabrasion. She has done this for HT scars, and says that after about 4-5 sessions there is a DRASTIC improvement. Also, your scar will fade naturally with time.
3.) As for the attractiveness issue, I know you will read here that confidence is #1/ most important. It's the DAMN truth. My current gf, whom I was convinced would break up with me once she realized I was losing my hair, only laughed at me in that "aww" kinda way and told me not to worry about it. She only threatened to break up with me when I kept bringing it up/whining/looking for sympathy. Needless to say, I stopped.
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As a former hair transplant person (old style from the 70's); I hear your thoughts. I see a lot of people in NYC, where I work, with your exact scar. It ain't pretty. But what can u do.
I agree with Celt above. Give it time and then consult a dermatologist or plastic surgeon to see if dermarbrasion (painful) or the new tuck procedure (where they fold over a piece of skin in the back) is available. Both procedures should be able to lighten the scar and make it blend in a tad better.
Id wear your hair at say 1/4 inch until this all works out. Im sure it will but it will take time.
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It's hair, man. Hair! You have so many other things going for you. Sounds like you're really successful. Chicks dig that. O0
Your scar is ugly. I'm not gonna lie. But I'm sure it will fade. And I know this sounds like I'm minimizing your problems, but at least the scar is on the back of your head. It's not part of your first impression.
As far as the decision, sure you can say we're all biased on this forum. But I'm giving you my honest opinion when I say -- shave it. I know all too well the mental issues that go along with losing your hair. Especially when you're as young and attractive as we are. ;) It took me a long time to fully embrace being sly, but I promise you it's the best thing I've ever done for myself.
Shaving is much more about the mental state. When you finally let go, you will become a whole new you. A much, much better you. Read my posts on here and you'll see I'm not telling lies. I was scared to shave just like you. Self-conscious, worried, etc, etc. Months later, I really like who I am.
It is such a relief not to put on Rogaine every night and worry about whether or not I remembered to take my Propecia. Drugs are stupid. Don't get addicted.
I'll break this down: You're a very good looking man. Forget about mpb. Shave the dome, walk with a swagger, and I guarantee women will flock to you like babes to candy. And you'll soon forget all about the mpb that haunts you now.
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Dude, im 23 here too, and I can understand where you are coming from. I tried to run from balding by hiding it, using meds, etc. But shaving my head has to be the absolute best thing that I have ever done for myself. And i have a few scars on my head from mole removals.
"I'll never find someone who'll think I'm attractive again."
You sound just like I did before I shaved. Honestly, I did alright when it came to the ladies when I had hair, but once I shaved it was like it rained from the skies. haha. And this was before I was confident about it.
Thats the big thing: Confidence. There are two ways you can look at this situation; You can continue the path you are on trying everything you can and spending a lot of money to stop an unstoppable tide (and feeling the way you do) or you can work with what you have, and just enjoy yourself.
Ask yourself this: Do you really want to be messing around with a girl who not even give you a chance because of something as superficial as your hairline? And I say "girl" for a reason. Because shes no woman if she judges you that way.
I dont really know that much about dermabrasion, but its worth a look into if it works as well as marty and celt say. And like Koz said, "suicidal" is a scary word. If you need, you can PM me also if you want to talk one on one.
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Just wanted to say that I am glad you chimmed in here. You can count on all of us to give you support and we all have your back bro. Just listen to what the others have already told you. It is not the end of the world bro. I can feel there is something very good going to come out of all of this. Praying for you bro. Hang in there!
Timmay
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Great advice here dude. Stay plugged in here. We will get you thru this.
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Great advice here dude. Stay plugged in here. We will get you thru this.
O0
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Welcome to the SBG Family navdoc,
I think that Mike nailed it, he is a great guy and you should listen to him, others have also given some good advise. Just remember that you have to be happy and confident with yourself first and foremost, it realy doesn't matter what any of us think, it matters only what you think. But we are all hear for you bro, so hang in there!!!!!
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Chix dig scars
Tell people it was a shark attack, knife fight, hang gliding accident, saved a baby from a fire, fought a lion saving a pygmy tribe, ninja attack, bear attack, fight with a koala, saved an old lady from a mugger...
How about.... saved an old lady from a ninja riding a lion, swinging a koala with a knife?
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Doc, like the guys have said, hair is just an accessory. It is not who you are. I too have a scar from ttransplant ( no eyebrows).
So what. Everyone can see it-So What! I am who I am. Like you, I am a good person. Anyone who judges you for your hair or that you have a scar is not worth knowing. Hang in there, Life is good. Family and friends that really know you, love and care for you. This is what matters. Any of us on this site will bend over backwards to help. The fact that you posted confirms that you are seeking approval-well- you have it! Anything that I can do, just e-mail me. I'm here for you.
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Chix dig scars
Tell people it was a shark attack, knife fight, hang gliding accident, saved a baby from a fire, fought a lion saving a pygmy tribe, ninja attack, bear attack, fight with a koala, saved an old lady from a mugger...
How about.... saved an old lady from a ninja riding a lion, swinging a koala with a knife?
Follow up comment .... "You think mine is bad?, you should see the other guy". W3!ght
I have a scar on my upper lip that completely opened up to the point you could see my teeth with my mouth closed (took 19 stiches on the outside, 11 on the inside) and I was concerned it was going to look terrible all my life. Over time, the severity of it went away and life went on.
Be confident, have fun, and charm the ladies with your wit, confidence, and sense of humor.
Approach everyday as a gift.
All is good! Plus, listening to some Jimmy Buffett never hurt either.
Glad you checked in to SBG and ditch the rugs, plugs and drugs!
Schro
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Keep talking to us, it's an important part of this site. As you've seen--all of the mpb guys have had the issues and many have had to recover from medical procedures. Don't stay by yourself and obsess on this--you need people more than you ever needed hair. This site can help--but as noted above seek out a live body. And remember, we're here--we're around the world so it's hard to find a time someone's not online.
I know at least one guy, a good friend of my son-in-law, who has had real brain surgery--he's sly, and was so when he was in the wedding, looks fine, good attitude. If you stick w/ people and hang out here--you will not be alone, you will not feel like you don't look good. Just look at the avatars--
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I just wanted to say thank you for all taking the time to write back and giving me some great advice. I'm just so angry with myself for spending so much money and putting myself in this situation. I wish that I had had the courage to seek some advice prior to going through with the surgery. To be honest, I'm also a little upset that I had so much support from my family to get the surgery (to be fair, my father has had 3 HTs and is very happy with the results). Anyway, I suppose I'm an adult and made my own decision. I'm also worried that I'm not going to be strong enough to cope with the hairloss as it starts to progress. At this point, I can pretty much pull off the BBC look but I know that there's a high likelihood that the mpb is going to progress quickly once i'm off the propecia/rogaine. No offense to anyone on here but I've struggled so long to to keep from going down this road that I have a hard time seeing the sly look as being attractive. In fact, up to this point it makes me cringe every time I see it. I know that I need to change this mentality but it's very difficult. Still struggling...
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You'll get there. Sly guys are hot.
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Dude! You look great shaved. Even if it is just with clippers. Trust me. I know the years of agony from hair loss. I was so much in denial that I never looked at the back of my head. I have a very strong aversion to mirrors and cameras. When I put my hand on my crown, I could still feel hair, so I had a mental image that it was only slowly receding from the front.
Then one day, the receptionist at work handed me a compact mirror and told me to go in the bathroom and look at my head. I did and I could have killed her. It was humiliating. Not as bad as that first haircut in basic training, but somehow worse because I knew that this would never grow back.
I tried the Rogaine, thought about propecia, and admired all of the guys on the hair transplant infomercials. I considered saving the money to go through the process myself. I defined myself by my hair. But once I got the haircut last Sunday at Great Clips, I realized how stupid I was. I had them use a #1 on the back blended to a #4 on top. Because of the bald spot and the strawberry blonde hair, this meant that I had a strip of hair visible running from left to right across the center of my head and not much else.
I actually went to work this way on Monday before I saw what it looked like from the back. That evening I went home and ran my beard trimmer through the center of my head without any attachments. There was no turning back. Sure. I hated the look after I did it. Hated it after I used the razor on it and took it down to the skin. But I am finally getting accustomed to it after a few days. And the ladies all seem to love it. At this point, I doubt I will ever go back.
As for the scar, others on here are right. People will get their first impression from the front of your head - not the back. Feel free to come up with a cover story. "Got that in a knife fight" or something (women love the bad boys.) Or just tell them the truth and become a voice for all the others out there that are thinking about doing the same thing to themselves. Let them know that it is ok to be bald. It is not ok to think that your only worth is measured by the hair on your head.
Honestly, it is a great look for you. Don't sweat the small stuff. It makes you YOU. You will find some who hate it and some who like it. Decide which group you are going to consider friends and which can go to hell. It's your head, not theirs. Be proud of it. You earned it. Life does not come without scars of some sort, but those make us who we are and we grow from them.
Now. On to the whole Navy bit. On a ship or in port? I was born a navy brat myself.
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I wish I had this forum a few months ago! Aside from the donor scar, does anyone know how the transplanted hair will look if the MPB progresses? Is there anyway to combat it looking weird in the future. Man, transplants suck...I could be sitting on a brand new street bike instead of dealing with this mess. I'm stationed with the 3rd Marines battalion in Okinawa, Japan. By the way, being around the Japanese who almost all have thick, beautiful hair into their 80s and the 18-20 yr old marines with no hair loss makes everything so much easier...
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Marines (n) Sea going bell hops; jar heads, etc.
How do you circumcise a Marine? Hit his roommate on the back of the head.
I got a ton of 'em folks! :)
I never met an active duty Marine that I got along with. I try. They just always seem to piss me off.
Not sure how the transplant will look after the progression of MPB. But I believe the intent is to harvest hair from the back of the head where it seldon goes bald and spread it around the area where it is likely to go bald. I don't believe they just cover up the existing bald spot.
Sounds like you have the perfect opportunity with all the sly-challenged people around you. You can be unique and be the only one on the island without a single hair on your head. :) Stand out and be proud! Bald by choice instead of leaving it up to mother nature to slowly shred away what you have. But that is just my opinion.
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The Japanese bald just as we do... and they spend lots of money on HTs and other procedure just like we do. I think the one thing they do more than people in the US is wear hairpieces. They all have basically the same color hair, usually solid black, so it's easy to blend it in. If I were Japanese, I would worry about my hair too b/c I'd probably be lacking in other areas that aren't so easy to enhance... ^-^
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I guess it's hard for those of us who love being totally bald to understand the stress you're feeling about this doc. We all react to situations differently. I started losing my hair in my 20's and I don't remember it bothering me - but there were a lot of other things in my life that made me feel the way you do. I look at your photos and yeah, I see a good-looking guy who happens to have a scar on the back of his head. I also see photos of a guy who has a great life, filled with friends and fantastic opportunties. Focus on the good stuff 'cause that's what life is all about.
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I guess it's hard for those of us who love being totally bald to understand the stress you're feeling about this doc. We all react to situations differently. I started losing my hair in my 20's and I don't remember it bothering me - but there were a lot of other things in my life that made me feel the way you do. I look at your photos and yeah, I see a good-looking guy who happens to have a scar on the back of his head. I also see photos of a guy who has a great life, filled with friends and fantastic opportunties. Focus on the good stuff 'cause that's what life is all about.
Hear, hear!
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Glad you keep talking w/ us--please continue to do so. You've gathered up a lot of conflicting emotions and you need someplace to put them on the table. That process will help you get to a place you can live w/.
About the money spent on the HT--it's hard, but get over it, what has been done, is done--don't beat yourself up about it.
On accepting the sly look--you will come to the realization at some time that you're going to be bald. Google up the Norwood/Hamilton charts--they show the path that mpb follows. Yours will be different because some of your hair isn't where it was. Not seeing the HT sites, it's hard to tell what will happen and when. But, once you get to the point of accepting that your genetic background has deemed you to be bald--your choices are pretty clear, plugs--which cost a lot and left some scars, drugs--which you've stopped so they can't screw up your body any more, and rugs--that cost a lot and don't look real anyway--stay away from that blind alley.
Shave, accept yourself as your are, and everyone is going to find your good points. It's hard right now, but it will get easier--remember we're your sounding board--if you go off beam we'll help you to get back on, really.
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I just wanted to say thank you for all taking the time to write back and giving me some great advice. I'm just so angry with myself for spending so much money and putting myself in this situation. I wish that I had had the courage to seek some advice prior to going through with the surgery.
Draw a line under it and move on. We've all made mistakes that we wish we could undo, but the past is past.
At this point, I can pretty much pull off the BBC look but I know that there's a high likelihood that the mpb is going to progress quickly once i'm off the propecia/rogaine. No offense to anyone on here but I've struggled so long to to keep from going down this road that I have a hard time seeing the sly look as being attractive. In fact, up to this point it makes me cringe every time I see it. I know that I need to change this mentality but it's very difficult. Still struggling...
Just let the MPB progress. If you keep your head shaved long enough, you'll reach a point where you'll be glad to have less hair to deal with. Seriously, you will. At some point the obsession changes from worrying about a receding hairline to worrying about how to get rid of the shadow.
The vast majority of us aren't happy about losing hair, but eventually you learn to accept it -- and yes, even like it. It takes a while but it will happen. I actually have a recurring dream where all my hair suddenly grows back and my main concern is to shave it all off before anyone notices.
There are a lot of good looking bald guys out there, as well as a lot of ugly guys with hair. We're conditioned to think that hair is the single most important aspect of our appearances but take a look around you when you're out in public sometime. Take a look at guys who are older than you, in their 30s and 40s. Some people age better than others and you'll find that there are plenty of physically fit bald guys who still look good. You'll also find guys with full heads of hair who aren't aging as well and who are a complete mess.
In the end, all any of us can do is do the best with what we've been given to work with. Hair is not nearly as important as you think it is.
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Hey bro, thanks for sharing your concerns with us. The main reason for Sly Bald Guys is to help guys like you to overcome the emotions you face while going bald.
Most of these guys have already give you phenomenal advice, but I'd like to take a moment to add just a little more.
You have a scar on your head, there's no changing that now. The reality is that the scar came from what you now consider to be an unwise decision. That's OK! Learn from that decision and use it to grow. I will let you know that just by sharing your story you will help many of the hundreds of thousands of men that come to this site with getting a transplant in mind to think otherwise.
In regards to your confidence and meeting women. Around your age I learned a very important thing when it came to meeting women - The more confidence you have, the more success you will have with women and other areas of your life.
A little about myself: I've had 4 open-heart surgeries. I have scars everywhere. Sure, I can cover most of them up with clothes, but they're still going to show when it's time to have the real fun. There's no hiding it in the long run. At least with you, they'll know about it right away and you won't have to figure out the best time to tell the ladies that you have scars all over.
The reality is, I've never had a woman really care. Women are different than us physical, looks driven men. They look at the confidence a man has and what they have inside. Sure, some of them are vain, but in my experience, those are the girls that are just trying to cover up their own issues.
I have dated many extremely gorgeous women and three years ago married the best of them all.
I tell you this in hopes that you will read it and take it to heart. The sooner you can get past this issue, the sooner you will be able to to live the rest of your life making the best of each and everyday. Just like the book says, "Don't sweat the small stuff," and in grand scheme life, this stuff we're talking about is really just the small stuff.
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Wish this was getting easier but I appreciate everything everyone has said so far. From the mpb scales and family history, i'm probably looking at class 5, class 6. Is there anyone on here that has had a transplant and then gone sly. I'd just like to know what I'm in store for as far as the transplants looking when the rest of my hair disappears. Also, does anyone have any good suggestions on the best way to stop taking propecia? I've been on it for about 4 years now and have changed my dosages multiple times in the last 6 months trying to combat some of the side effects. I dont want to keep messing up my hormones but quitting to fast or maybe that's the best way? Any help would be appreciated.
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i was on propecia daily for the last 2 years and just stopped one day. didnt notice any effects.. not sure if it was the best way to do it but meh. no problems here.
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I was taking Rogaine for about a year, and a few days after I stopped, I noticed that my "little soldier" was a little more exciteable, and would stand at attention more often, but that was for about one week. Then after that, everything was fine.
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Not necessarily a bad thing PeripheralxMvmnt. :)
Doc,
I am coming to the realization that everyone has concerns about their appearances. Some of us just have not learned to dismiss them as readily as others. I can't speak for how you feel because only you can do that, but tell me if this sounds familiar.
You consider yourself unattractive. So much so that you fear looking at the whole you in the mirror at any one time. Instead you tend to focud on one small portion of the reflection at a time so that you never see the whole. You shy away from cameras knowing that if someone takes your picture, not only will you most likely have to see it, more people would likely see it and laugh about some physical flaw even if they don't do it in front of you. You have obsessed so much on what you feel you look like that you have built up an image in your head that the only person uglier than you is Steve Buscemi. And even he has a great career and at least gets laid. You are so ashamed of your apearance that you avoid social encounters as much as possible so as to not feel self-conscious all of the time. Only you sit at home and feel moreso because your perception of yourself kept you from doing something that you wanted to do so bad. It causes to to avoid human contact though you desire that above all else.
Sound familiar? I just described me.
It is only recently that I began to not give a sh*t. To realize that people are going to think what they will think and absolutely nothing I do will change that. I can choose to ignore those gut urges and go out and enjoy myself, or I can grow old and lonely dwelling on every possible negative that I can create about myself. It has taken me a long time, but I choose to live life. And if people think I am weird, ugly, awkward, stupid, whatever negative I have created in my own mind about myself, I now know that is their problem and not mine. Those are not the types of people that I would consider to be friends even if I was the most handsome man out there. Why should I care what they think? It is how I feel about myself.
Don't get me wrong. It is not easy to change 39 years of compounding behavior and self-perception. It is like giving up cigarettes or alcohol. It is a day at a time and a constant choice to brush it off. But I feel better every time I do.
We put so much into what we look like that we lose who we are. We are not our appearances. We are so much more than that.
I don't know if this will help you or not. I never listened to anyone else when they told me the same thing. I am not even sure if this hits the mark or makes sense to anyone else. But I hope that it does.
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Antimidas - Trust me. At least for me that post hit the mark and made perfect sense. Thank you.
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Ok, so I've been shaving it completely down for the last week or so. To be honest...it's been a mixed bag.
I think I have a good facial structure but I'm constantly paranoid that people are staring at my scar. Also, I've noticed that I have a very angular shaped head with an extremely large occipital bump. I just feel damned if I do; damned if I don't at this point. 6 months ago, I was pretty concerned about the thinning but I still considered myself an attractive man and I'm pretty sure everyone else did as well.
Now, I have a very poor self-image...I just can't keep taking the drugs, the rogaine, and doing hair transplants the rest of my life. At the same time, the transplant scar, the grafts, and the odd shaped head arent helping the sly look. I've read a lot of posts on here about how head shape, scars, etc, shouldn't matter but there are definitely guys out there that look better with a shaved head than others.
I don't know what to do.
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Honestly dude, you are a good looking guy. Trust me. I know that mirrors are hell. As I said in a previous post, I feel that Steve Buscemi is the only guy on the planet uglier than me. It is purely a psychological self-image thing. Unfortunately, there is not much we can do about that. If I knew the magic bullet, I would share it with you.
I looked at your photos again and you cannot see the scar when looking at your face. It is not the first thing that people will notice about you. And it will most likely not be the last. It is part of who you are. But you are more than a simple scar. In fact as far as scars go, I have seen much worse.
And the occipital bump. Everyone has one. And like every other part of your body, they all come in different shapes and sizes. I have seen larger. I have seen smaller. I didn't even notice it until you pointed it out.
I would rather look at your face in the mirror every day rather than my own. I trust that you are going through a similar thing. But it is all mental. You really are a great looking guy. But you have to let your personality be the thing that attracts people to you. If they are already talking to you, they have gotten past whatever flaw you perceive in your appearance and are attracted to the personality. Throw away mirrors and stop looking at the ones you can't get rid of. If you keep the head shaved, you don't need them to see if your hair is out of place. Once you start being comfortable being you and not your perception of what you look like, none of it will matter.
Smile and keep hope alive. The more you smile, the better you feel about yourself. Everything else (girls or whatever) will come in time. And if you start to exude that self-confidence, that attracts people faster than being negative.
Sorry for the tough love approach. I am just trying to help. But I have had the same body image issues for 39 years and I know how rough it can be. Avoiding mirrors and photos is the only thing that has helped me. Ok and medication, but that was not really much help.
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Just found an article that might help you out. http://www.askmen.com/money/body_and_mind_60/77_better_living.html
To build self-esteem, try acting like the person you want to be. If there is something you want to do but are reluctant because of self-image or fear of failure, do it anyway. Before long, it will no longer be an act, but a reflection of who you are. This matters to people much more than appearances.
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Ok, so I've been shaving it completely down for the last week or so. To be honest...it's been a mixed bag.
I think I have a good facial structure I still considered myself an attractive man and I'm pretty sure everyone else did as well.
I just can't keep taking the drugs, the rogaine, and doing hair transplants the rest of my life. I don't know what to do.
We're getting someplace I think--keep talking w/ us. I edited your last response to its essentials and they are positive--but, bear w/ me, let me tell a bit of real "scar" history.
I dont' have a scar on my head for transplants, but I do have a 7" scar from the removal of my gall bladder. Why, you ask, is that at all relevant???? Well, my youngest, at 27 just had to have her's removed--it's supposed to be the 4F's, female, fat, fair and forty+, well although she's a red head, hence fair, and a female. she's doesn't fit the profile, but none the less she was in the OR, when because of the inflamation, the surgeon said it wasn't advisable to continue w/ the "keyhole" surgery and opened a 6" cut to complete the work. When she came out of the OR and was in recovery, she was really upset--no more two piece swim suits, etc. Well, although it was twenty years ago, I pulled up my shirt, and showed her--actually had to point it out where the scar was--scars don't stand out after a short time. She calmed down. Now don't expect me to put a picture of my scar on the site, unless it's the only way, but your scar is going to "go away" to a large extent once you've gotten some sun on the dome. Other than that, the other stuff you're ragging yourself about frankly isn't real. I can show you lots of faults in my scalp, but no one but I know they are there. In a very real sense we're all our own worst critics, and frankly you do have "good facial structure" and that w/ a smile will calm all but the most vicious of critics--and frankly F___ them. Give it 30 days, you will get over the "Who's the dude in the mirror?" reaction. You're almost there, just work a little harder to accept yourself for the dude you are. And, I repeat, keep talking to us.
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Navdoc, theres a reason his name is "Saint."
The man knows what hes saying. Everyone here knows what they are saying. Keep talking about this, keep coming back. it might sound silly, but it does help to talk to guys who know exactly what youre trying to say.
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Actually, your scar doesn't look that bad. It would be better if it weren't there, but I've seen much, much worse. There's a lot that can be done to minimize scars nowadays. See a doctor and find out what can be done.
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Hey man, just wanted to tell you that I read through this entire thread and know where you are coming from. I am new to this forum and these guys have helped me out alot. I am not comparing scars or anything, but trust me, I have been through hell and back twice in my life now and you know what? I could give a rats ass about what anybody thinks about how I look. I am a good person, and I got a good life, which is most important. I will post my picture here taken a few weeks ago. I am recovering from brain surgery with an aneurysm. 26 staples there..and....if you look close, take a peek at my neck. See that scar there? 21 stiches. I fell 2 stories when I was working construction at age 26. Spent 3 weeks in the hospital and a halo. So.....it is matter of self confidence, and that is the key. Sure, I still see this every day in the mirror. But does it bother me? Nah.......
Hope this helps you a little bit.....hang in there.
(https://www.slybaldguys.com/smf/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi78.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fj84%2Fviper3two%2Fme3.jpg&hash=ff1afbb673873e19c5969732d968051168ecdd36)
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navdoc you look fine shaved. and the scar isnt that bad. it adds character if you ask me and it just shows that you made it through something exceedingly difficult and came out strong. You look fine shaved I wouldnt stress so much buddy
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Here's the key bro... be yourself, like yourself and have confidence in yourself. 8)
I've spent way too much time in my life worrying about what others think... trust me, it's a waste of time.
Like an old song said, "you can't please everyone so you've got to please yourself"! O0
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you can get the transplanted hair removed with electrolisis, a common hair removal technich
the transplanted hair will come out clean with no visible sign that they were transplanted
i had it done and it works well
do not use laser though use electrolisis with the needles
good luck
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It's hair, man. Hair! You have so many other things going for you. Sounds like you're really successful. Chicks dig that. O0
Your scar is ugly. I'm not gonna lie. But I'm sure it will fade. And I know this sounds like I'm minimizing your problems, but at least the scar is on the back of your head. It's not part of your first impression.
I'll break this down: You're a very good looking man. Forget about mpb. Shave the dome, walk with a swagger, and I guarantee women will flock to you like babes to candy. And you'll soon forget all about the mpb that haunts you now.
I was going to reply with something along these lines. You pull off the bald look so well, it's ashame that you had the surgery that scarred you but what's done is done, and with it being at the back of your head it really isn't too bad. Keep your chin up man!