Author Topic: How do I regain confidence after having it destroyed by hairloss forums?  (Read 329 times)

Offline BaldBlindAt20

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Well now aiming for going sly (tomorrow I go for my Philips OneBlade), I am quite afraid. On hairlosstalk forum, where I were in 2018 when my hairloss started, there were many posts stating that confidence does not even matter if you do not have hair. Other people tell that no woman will be truly interested in me because of lack of hair on my scalp and they will never be aroused around me. (I know women truly interested in me when I had hair.) In year 2020 I realised that I should go for it and shave, beacuse I am headed to Norwood 7 already. Now because I see many people on this forum actually being happy with shaving head, how did you escape the negative thinking about yourselves being bald? Is being distinctive as the only one shaved something great for you or was it terrible? I bet confidence is very important and without both hair and confidence in myself I can only dream of girls and life success. I am 20 years old when I am typing this post and my social circle are people 16-21 years old, if you ask I can send you how I look now with buzzcut.



Offline slybeard

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IMO, guys tend to gain confidence when they take charge of things in their life.  So for most guys, when they shave a balding head, they gain confidence because they have take charge and "solved" their issue.  The same is true for other things we can change, like growing facial hair, working out more, and for some guys, dressing better for work.

Women will have a sense of the confidence, and will be attracted to it.
SlyBeard

Offline reddog

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You are causing yourself way too much stress over this!!

First, stay away from the hair loss forums! And don't believe alot of what you read on the Internet.

You have to make a final decision. Either decide to try shaving, or forget it. Just don't think about letting someone carve up the back of your head to move hair to the balding areas. Worse case scenario, you shave and don't like it, and wear a hat for a couple weeks.

By the way, many guys here have wonderful women, and I see hundreds of shaved bald guys with pretty women. I'm on a singles website, and 320 gals have liked my photos.
Bald by choice, and loving it!

Offline BaldBlindAt20

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IMO, guys tend to gain confidence when they take charge of things in their life.  So for most guys, when they shave a balding head, they gain confidence because they have take charge and "solved" their issue.  The same is true for other things we can change, like growing facial hair, working out more, and for some guys, dressing better for work.

Women will have a sense of the confidence, and will be attracted to it.

I took some advice from people here, especially @Laser Man who offered it anytime I needed help or just a tip. I regained a bit of confidence when I bought clothes after buzzing head, also I work out so I feel better and of course gain strength. Although people are pleased with how I look now, I must admit I am a bit concerned if I will find a girl around my age who will be interested in me, because I did not hit on any girl since IV 2021 :D

You are causing yourself way too much stress over this!!

First, stay away from the hair loss forums! And don't believe alot of what you read on the Internet.

You have to make a final decision. Either decide to try shaving, or forget it. Just don't think about letting someone carve up the back of your head to move hair to the balding areas. Worse case scenario, you shave and don't like it, and wear a hat for a couple weeks.

By the way, many guys here have wonderful women, and I see hundreds of shaved bald guys with pretty women. I'm on a singles website, and 320 gals have liked my photos.

Yeah the topic of hairloss is causing me much more trouble than it should, starting from 2018, when at age of 16, people told I am receding. I think it is even debilitating because shaving head is the only way to close that problem and take care of something else. The situation was especially hard because almost all people were trying to get me to transplant my hair, my parents wanted me to have a hair transplant and did not want to hear anything about shaving. Which I thought dumb because transplants need finasteride to work fully and I am strongly against taking it. Also I am against bullshitting people and using combovers, concealers  or being a hat prisoner lmao.

Offline clint902

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Try not to overthink it.  If I pulled the pin every time I thought a girl wouldn't like me because of my hairstyle, clothing or my having to use a cane to walk(problem resolved), I never would've met my wife of 32 years.  I've found that girls find what's inside as more intriguing than what's outside.  I truly think that if a girl rejects you just because of your hairstyle then maybe you don't belong together anyway.  Well, whatever you do, I'm sure you'll be just fine.  Trust me on that! O0
« Last Edit: August 23, 2021, 12:38:45 PM by clint902 »

Offline BaldBlindAt20

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Try not to overthink it.  If I pulled the pin every time I thought a girl wouldn't like me because of my hairstyle, clothing or my having to use a cane to walk(problem resolved), I never would've met my wife of 32 years.  I've found that girls find what's inside as more intriguing than what's outside.  I truly think that if a girl rejects you just because of your hairstyle then maybe you don't belong together anyway.  Well, whatever you do, I'm sure you'll be just fine.  Trust me on that! O0

Thank you! Well I have been told a couple of times I am very interesting; but my concerns about balding were mainly beause I am one of the three people I know from my high school who are balding VERY aggressive. I know that one of them desperately tries to hide behind caps, and the second just gave up (Norwood 7 at 17 years old) and has grown out his horseshoe to 1 inch or 2,5cm length. I am going into uncharted territory because I will be the only one sly person I will know. Anyway, I hope I will find solace in shaving my head and relaxing, because it will be the end to the 3 year old hairloss saga :D

Offline JohnRa

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You'll be fine, my man. Whether you let your hair grow or shave it, you are still going to be you. I was a Norwood 4 in my early 20's as were my uncles (thanks genetics!). One uncle just kept a shorter buzzcut all the time. The other uncle went for hair transplants. His hair was receding so fast that it would fall out behind where the transplant was which gave him a rather interesting look. I was the first in the family to just shave it bald. Prior to shaving it, I kept it buzzed with a #2 guard all the time. It was really liberating to me when I shaved it. I felt free somehow. Did I get some negative comments and some double-takes? Sure, but all that has gone away. I chose to address negativity with humor or at most with an "I'm sorry you don't like it, but your hair looks great today!" "It takes me forever to comb/blowdry this mess!" "I can't tell you how much money I'm saving on shampoo!" "No more bad hair days!" When it starts raining, I still love using "My baldar is going off!"

Just be you. Give it 30 days where you shave every day, then make a plan after that. Good luck!

Offline Razor X

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Too much negative energy on those hair loss forums. Stay away from them for your sanityís sake.

Offline Razorhead

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@BaldBlindAt20  I agree with the other guys. I think you are stressing yourself out unnecessarily over this. A shaved head really isnít a big deal. Lots of guys shave their heads and they look great. Just because you are bald headed doesnít mean that women will not be attracted to you. Attraction happens for other reasons aside from looks. Stay off the forums that are nothing but negative energy.

If you are still on the fence, then just buzz your head at a shorter length and do a clipper shave. Youíll have soft stubble and within a week your hair will grow back to a #1. Thatís actually how i started. A buddy buzzed my head without a guard ó probably a #0. I looked bald and I was surprised that I loved it and thought i could sport a bald headed look. I kept it that short for a while and then eventually took out the razor. Like you, I wanted to shave. I kept thinking about it, thinking about it and wanted to do it but didnít have the courage. The thought of shaving was like a bug that wouldnít leave. So on a Friday night, i had a few beers, took out the razor did the deed and shaved. Loved it ever since.

Youíll get there.

Offline BaldBlindAt20

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@BaldBlindAt20  I agree with the other guys. I think you are stressing yourself out unnecessarily over this. A shaved head really isnít a big deal. Lots of guys shave their heads and they look great. Just because you are bald headed doesnít mean that women will not be attracted to you. Attraction happens for other reasons aside from looks. Stay off the forums that are nothing but negative energy.

If you are still on the fence, then just buzz your head at a shorter length and do a clipper shave. Youíll have soft stubble and within a week your hair will grow back to a #1. Thatís actually how i started. A buddy buzzed my head without a guard ó probably a #0. I looked bald and I was surprised that I loved it and thought i could sport a bald headed look. I kept it that short for a while and then eventually took out the razor. Like you, I wanted to shave. I kept thinking about it, thinking about it and wanted to do it but didnít have the courage. The thought of shaving was like a bug that wouldnít leave. So on a Friday night, i had a few beers, took out the razor did the deed and shaved. Loved it ever since.

Youíll get there.

Thank you!
As for now, I buzzed my head from shoulder length to 2mm. The reactions from the people were very satisfying, because not one person told me it looks like sh*t, even my female friend who hates baldness :D Tomorrow I get my hands on my new Philips which will bring down hair length to 0,5mm, and later, when I get a tan (I was dumb to go to Greece with long hair) I think I will shave to skin, I think I will love it! Btw, are you 27? Because I always assumed you to be that age.

 



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