Sly Bald Guys Forum
Discussions About Being Bald => Advantages and Disadvantages to being Bald => Topic started by: Jodah777 on January 21, 2010, 11:03:03 PM
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I am able to tolerate shaving my head simply because I have become used to it over time. However, I'd like to have the option that everybody else gets. As people grow older, their hair style changes. A hair style is a clear indicator of the type of person beneath. My shaved head says two things... 1.) I am military personnel. 2.) I am a blank mystery. Surely, I should elaborate.
I'm tired of people asking if I'm in the military. I'm very intuitive when it comes to reading what people mean out of what they say. What they think is, "Why does he shave his head? I can't just ask him, that's rude. Maybe he's military. I'll ask if he's military, and then I'll have my answer." My answer is "No, haha, I am not." Then they look at me as if I have yet more to say, as if my answer isn't completed to the depth of their satisfaction. Then I walk away or change the subject.
I am overflowing with multiple personalities, none of which can be expressed outwardly. If I feel like going out with friends or on a date, I can't take the time to make my hair look nice. If I feel ragged, my hair is not bedraggled. If I'm doing something formal, I can't get a handsome looking haircut. I can't play with my hair when I'm bored. I can't color it to match an outfit or how I feel. Hair talks. Mine says nothing except "military". A shaved head is not inviting. It is actually a mysterious intimidator. I have used this to my advantage a handful of times, but I like to get along with people. My shaved head tends to act as a deterrent. It makes others uneasy on an instinctual level. If I had hair, I wouldn't be such a sore thumb. Such an eyeblight.
Sometimes people do ask me why I shave my head. I prefer honesty at all times, but it gets tiring telling the horrible awkward truth, which is... I shaved my head out of desperation in order to minimize the damage caused by the still quite obvious plague on my scalp called male pattern baldness. A plague, I might add, that I attained at 18. So I just give a sarcastic-flip-jokey response more often than not.
I digress. I want a different hair cut. Unfortunately, the fuzzy toilet seat is forbidden by my vanity. Also forbidden is the disgusting look of sparseness on the top of the head, which simply looks sickly on anyone who is balding, yet grooms their hair as if they weren't. Does anybody have a creative solution that could possibly appear not only normal, but attractive? In addition to wanting hair, I AM SICK AND TIRED OF SHAVING MY HEAD.
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Well even people that have good hair wind up with terrible haircuts all the time..... so that certainly isn't all it's made out to be.You have limited options of course:
1) Grow what you have out (which you already said is no good for you)
2) Go the drugs, plugs or rugs route....... which is digusting
3) Or continue to do the healthy and very en vogue thing and continue to shave
I don't understand what the big deal is about shaving. We all have other personal hygiene habits that we perform everyday..... teeth brushing, showering, etc.. Eventually shaving just becomes part of that routine.
If you're looking for something different to do to your head next time you go out, only shave half of it...... that will open some eyes! :*))
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Maybe you should try some facial hair, a full beard, goatee, something in between. That could balance out what some guys find to be too much skin. Just a thought--and you can run your fingers through your beard, spend money on shampoos, and have things to do keeping it trimmed.
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just grow it out and be balding. You DO have a choice. :D
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Maybe you have too much time on our hands. I'm too busy to give much thought to not having a full head of hair. It is what it is. Sure, I would like a choice. I would like to have a very short buzz to mix it up in the winter, but that isn't in the cards. Try changing your focus to something more productive.
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Facial hair. Cool hats. Get creative with your wardrobe. Try shaving only once a week, it'll help your vanity and shaving day becomes quite fun and less of a chore.
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Maybe it's not your haircut that is truly bothering you, but something down deeper. What's going on in your life that makes you want these changes?
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Facial hair. Cool hats. Get creative with your wardrobe. Try shaving only once a week, it'll help your vanity and shaving day becomes quite fun and less of a chore.
I agree with Cheese.
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I would suggest that you find other things to change about your appearance - clothes, shoes, jewellery, accessories, hats, facial hair. In fact, anything you can easily change. I would suggest turning your attention to those rather than stressing yourself about something you can't do anything about
I don't see myself as a blank mystery, I see myself as a guy who has 'bared all' and it makes me stand out from the crowd rather blend blandly into the hair-bearing crowd. I start every day with my bald head and work my appearance from there.
I also have never been accused of being in the military, but I suppose that is because the UK military don't do bald heads. It may also be something to do with my noticeable belly :P
Have fun, and above all, don't stress yourself so much!!
Tony
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Think about the largest TATTOO you can have done on your dome in MULTI COLOR - - - - - I am thinking right along with you - - -I have done it for a party (wipe off tattoo) it lasted about three days What FUN
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Sorry but if you're looking for pity you've come to wrong place. Yes, it would be nice to be able to grow hair and have different hairstyles from time to time. I'd also like to be taller, younger and have a faster metabolism. We can't always have what we want; we have to do our best with what God gave us. What's the point in agonizing over something you can't do anything about? Count your blessings, keep your head shaved and get on with your life.
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Sorry but if you're looking for pity you've come to wrong place. Yes, it would be nice to be able to grow hair and have different hairstyles from time to time. I'd also like to be taller, younger and have a faster metabolism. We can't always have what we want; we have to do our best with what God gave us. What's the point in agonizing over something you can't do anything about? Count your blessings, keep your head shaved and get on with your life.
Razor nails it!
In the words of Mick Jagger.... "You Can't Always Get What you Want"
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I know you don't want to hear this, but I will say it anyway.
Other people viewing this site maybe want to hear it.
Here it is............................ There is a lot of people out there
who would wish that the main problem in their lives was hairloss.
This is not to say that hairloss is not a big deal. It is for many men
but there are so many people out there with so many problems that they
would love to be in your shoes.
Maybe you need to look at the glass as half filled, as opposed to half empty.
cheers.
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My hair loss quit being an issue with me the day I got rid of those remaining remnants that were fighting the good fight.
As others have said there are a ton of other things that you can do to alter your appearance.
If your hair loss is bothering you or other people tremendously that's a huge indicator that there's probably some other things that need to be talked about and/or dealt with.
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Sorry but if you're looking for pity you've come to wrong place. Yes, it would be nice to be able to grow hair and have different hairstyles from time to time. I'd also like to be taller, younger and have a faster metabolism. We can't always have what we want; we have to do our best with what God gave us. What's the point in agonizing over something you can't do anything about? Count your blessings, keep your head shaved and get on with your life.
our sly brutha... razorx knocks it out the ball park 4 a game winning GRAND SLAM. O0 i most especially love your last sentence: "Count your blessings, keep your head shaved and get on with your life." i couldn't have said it better myself. O0
WARHAWK O0
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Sorry but if you're looking for pity you've come to wrong place. Yes, it would be nice to be able to grow hair and have different hairstyles from time to time. I'd also like to be taller, younger and have a faster metabolism. We can't always have what we want; we have to do our best with what God gave us. What's the point in agonizing over something you can't do anything about? Count your blessings, keep your head shaved and get on with your life.
Razor nails it!
In the words of Mick Jagger.... "You Can't Always Get What you Want"
I did not come here for pity. I posted this in order to draw upon the creativity of the bald community. Most of the other comments are at the very least interesting, while your comment is childish, unproductive, and defensively mean. You are merely suggesting to shove my feelings down, and you imply that my feelings aren't valid. Perception is reality, so yes, my feelings are valid. Additionally, ignoring emotions will cause a mental breakdown or a tumor. Remember that.
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Now to put the post back on course... I was actually thinking about letting my hair grow out so I could use clippers creatively. I was thinking maybe lightning bolts. I could also do a leafy pattern and dye it green to look like a Caesar. The problem with bald is that it's always the same. Anything that stays the same all the time is BORING. I'm hoping that somebody will come up with a unique solution that gracefully accepts baldness as opposed to shamefully hiding it with a razor. (I understand that there are many who proudly claim to love their shaved head, and do not feel shameful about it.)
Here I'd like to respond to some of the above...
I like the temporary tattoo idea. That could go in SO MANY directions.
Facial hair only looks right on very few people. I have found that facial hair on bald OR hairy men usually indicates insecurity or overcompensation of some sort.
I would count my blessings if I didn't have a plethora of horrendous problems smothering them. I'd rather get mad at my bald head than fall into a depression over... my mental illness, the excessive amount of work I do, the fact that my family could go under financially and end up homeless at any time, the recent loss of my friend to cancer, blah blah blah. The point is, my life sucks hard, and I hate hearing people tell me to count my blessings. When there are too few to count, that in itself is depressing. Also, the phrase "count your blessings" is another way of saying "ignore your problems and they will go away".
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Jodah, your initial post was perceived by many as a pity call and as you mentioned, perception is reality. You didn't elaborate that you wanted to grow out to use clippers creatively, so how were we to know that's what you meant? Inf the future, it would help to be more clear so we can offer the best advice for you. We want to help you and are trying to do so with our posts.
I'd be careful with blanket statements like the one you made about facial hair. Many guys here wear facial hair and I'm pretty sure they aren't trying to overcompensate for anything or is it because they have insecurities. I wear it because my wife really likes it as well as many other people. In fact, if it weren't for her, I'd probably shave it.
As I mentioned above, I think you need to talk to someone about what your going through. You mentioned some of the items you're facing and it's tough, I know. Trust me when I say that you have to count your blessings and it's not a saying that means "ignore your problems and they will go away." You have to deal with them individually. Your blessing are what carry you through the tough times while you work on the problems so that they can go away. You have to tackle your problems head on, one at a time, a step at a time. You can do it, and we're here to help.
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Hmmm...... you say you're not here for pity but then you go on to list all the misery in your life.
I'm the Dad of a son with special needs. Twelve years ago when he was diagnosed I wallowed in self pity for three years. I didn't realize it at the time but that's what it was. I know self pity when I see it and you are full of self pity right now........ realize it or not.
You're going to say bald guys with facial hair don't look good but then tell us you're going to shave lightning bolts into your hair.
Yeah.... that will look a lot better than a nice shaved hair and a goat. Go ahead and do that and then post us a photo so we can all admire what we can't have. :*)) I'm sure people everywhere will be saying, "Man, more guys with shaved heads should do that. It's really cool." :*))
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Facial hair. Cool hats. Get creative with your wardrobe. Try shaving only once a week, it'll help your vanity and shaving day becomes quite fun and less of a chore.
I agree with cheese as well. You should focus on the areas where you can be creative. In addition to the above, work out, build muscles or don't, have a tan, don't have a tan, get your ears pierced, or don't. There are a million ways to play with your appearance other than your hair.
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Overcome and adapt.
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Stop wallowing in your own pity, it's pathetic!
Grow up, get a life and be a man already.
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Stop wallowing in your own pity, it's pathetic!
Grow up, get a life and be a man already.
Preach on brother.
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Stop wallowing in your own pity, it's pathetic!
Grow up, get a life and be a man already.
Don't beat about the bush: tell it like it is! ;D O0
Seriously, listen to NewYawka, coz I've always found him to be the voice of reason. O0 8)
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Jared !
Exactly how much genetic male pattern baldness have you experienced at age 24?
Why not grow it out and funk it for pleasure until its not possible or just accept it bald and focus on your other talents?
I visited your MySpace link and those pics seemed to portray a happy person ?
Sexual pref. or mental stress, the economy, job issues, hairloss, weight gain, no self confidence, personal stuff (death) ... man we all deal with some aspect EVERY day ! You're Not Alone !
Gay, Str8, Black, Pink, Purple, handicap, Polka Music fanatics, who cares?
This is a rare site of support and advice and comfort zone.
Thanks for sharing !
---Stasiu
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'Bravo'!
As we Brits say... O0
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Man, you are lucky. So you don't have a full head of hair. But, you do have several things going your way; you have your youth and good looks. As for me, I am bald by choice. Shave every day and love it. Why, I have Sh*&y hair. You are an attractive man, Look at my picture, not particully good looking. So what, like you, I'm a good person who searches for the good in man and most situations. Try it, you'll like it.
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Come on now Papa Don :: You look Fabulous .....................
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Dunno about everyone else but the things you mentioned as negative aspects of being bald I think are rather good things. I for one am thankful that I don't have to waste my time ensuring it stays fashionable, having inane conversations with the hairdresser, colouring it to match my outfit (WTF?). The one less superficial thing I have to worry about the better. Don't get me wrong I know things aren't so black and white, I'm 24 so I can appreciate how difficult it is sometimes when you see your peers with a nice fluffy head of hair. Do I envy them? Hmm for a split second, then I realise that it's rather sad that younger women like that actually. I just don't understand where this desire of wanting to change it every week comes from though?
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Yes, it would be nice to be able to grow hair and have different hairstyles from time to time. Count your blessings, keep your head shaved and get on with your life.
I still have my hair and choose to be SLY but, that's me. RX is right. Man up, follow his prescription!!
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stop shaving then and grow hair I have had a bald spot on top since i was 16 ,,then at 22 the forhead turned into a runway with rubble I growed it long and cut it when it got two feet so I could donate it and screw what others thought. If you could grow hair it might be so curly ya couldnt do much with it I know for a fact that happens its how mine was so I grew it out and had to braid it daily with tons of crap so that it would even stay in a braid and I didnt grow it for myself but for cancer people.
And just so you dont feel like a virgen life is tuff everywhere Iam not looking for sympathy but just like me I just lost my job after 23 years and so have alot of other people so ya have to get a back up plan and then look at the posative side of it ,,,Iam actually looking foward to the down size my wife and I are facing there will be less stress ,,,,,,,,,dont have to word 60 hours a week and mom and dad are with God and better off then any of us ,,,so my advice is simple ,,,,,,,,,,let the hair grow shave your face if thats what YOU want Give the problems to GOD,,,,,,,,,,and if the rest of the world has nothing to worry about then how you hair is then they are the one with the problem NOT you
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Well said JPM... O0
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Last year I lost my mom and my best friend in the space of two months. Those are the things that really upset you. hairloss is nothing. Being able to change your hairstyle is unimportant. Just count your blessings and hope nothing worse than hairloss happens. :/O
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Last year I lost my mom and my best friend in the space of two months. Those are the things that really upset you. hairloss is nothing. Being able to change your hairstyle is unimportant. Just count your blessings and hope nothing worse than hairloss happens. :/O
I agree with Rob, big time. Your hair, or lack thereof, is really small in the scheme of things.
J.P.M. I'm with you as well, welcome to SBG's forum, and good post.
Get over it and get on with life!
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Alright, this is a dead thread and all but I feel compelled to respond. It sounds to me like the guy has settled for the sly hairstyle, but he would rather his hair work the way hair is supposed to work. The guy wants to do with hair what people can do with hair and it bugs the hell out of him that nature is denying him that choice. What's wrong with that? As much as we love our looks we have to accept that others aren't going to be as fond of it. A lot of us proudly associate our sly look to our personality, so it should be expected that hair'd guys would do the same.
I'd be more than just whiny if something (head rash, ingrown hairs, a wife, etc) forced me to do the opposite and regrow my hair, and I'm sure if that situation came around the guys on this board would commiserate with me. Even though he sympathizes with the enemy, i.e. hair, I feel bad for the guy; especially since it hit him so young. BTW, I think one of the worst things you can do to encourage someone to get over a problem is to mention how someone else has things even worse. Are we not allowed to have a negative feeling about something so long as someone else on earth is in even worse shape?
I think the reason something as irrelevant as this compels someone to post a public complaint is due to the fact that it gones on day after day after day. Most irrelevant annoyances in life tend to be short term things like getting stuck behind a slow driver, some piece of technology not working right, spilling a drink on yourself, etc...
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Alright, this is a dead thread and all but I feel compelled to respond. It sounds to me like the guy has settled for the sly hairstyle, but he would rather his hair work the way hair is supposed to work. The guy wants to do with hair what people can do with hair and it bugs the hell out of him that nature is denying him that choice. What's wrong with that? As much as we love our looks we have to accept that others aren't going to be as fond of it. A lot of us proudly associate our sly look to our personality, so it should be expected that hair'd guys would do the same.
I'd be more than just whiny if something (head rash, ingrown hairs, a wife, etc) forced me to do the opposite and regrow my hair, and I'm sure if that situation came around the guys on this board would commiserate with me. Even though he sympathizes with the enemy, i.e. hair, I feel bad for the guy; especially since it hit him so young. BTW, I think one of the worst things you can do to encourage someone to get over a problem is to mention how someone else has things even worse. Are we not allowed to have a negative feeling about something so long as someone else on earth is in even worse shape?
I think the reason something as irrelevant as this compels someone to post a public complaint is due to the fact that it gones on day after day after day. Most irrelevant annoyances in life tend to be short term things like getting stuck behind a slow driver, some piece of technology not working right, spilling a drink on yourself, etc...
Um... You guys were right about this guy and I was wrong.
Someone else's response mentioned his MySpace page so I went there. He does have some pretty deep issues. Very deep. I think his problems go far beyond throwing pity parties. This blog here is downright suicidal:
http://blogs.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=blog.view&friendId=27383646&blogId=529922431
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Dude, youf over thinking it. First let me say, I'm a hetrosexual guy who has been married for 18 years, so don't take this the wrong way. Dude your a very good looking guy and should have no worries.
People do get bored with their style from time to time. Grow some facial hair, try a new style of clothes and remember to always be greatful for good health. I have a full head of hair but choose to shave because of the low maitenance life it affords me. I do mine once a week and all week don't have to worry about doing my hair. That in itself makes my hectic life that much easier.
The bottom line is hair is way over rated. Good hair dosen't make a homley guy more good lucking and the lack of it dosen't make a good looking guy unattractive.
Also, that intimadating factor that you mentioned using it to your advantage is not a bad thing. I'm an extremely passive guy, but for some reason when I shave my head, I get treated with much more respect. I guess I have that look of a tough guy. The truth is I'm a total push over (which is something I'm working on). But hey with the bald head people don't see that.
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I have to agree with stemiker wholeheartedly.
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you could try different hat styles. Im a big fan of the fedora
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This post is not really about your bald head. To me it is very clear that you are in a depression.
I used to be depressed when I was 15, 16 or 17. I'm not sure when it started and it's not clear where it ended. For me your posts are very recognizable. I would like to give you all the advice that I can, but the problem is that it (escaping a depression) needs to come from within yourself. It is a long process.
Unfortunately it is really hard for me to give any advice about how to overcome depression, because I know that I, like you do now, had a very different mindset when I was depressed; like 180 degrees the opposite.
Nowadays I would say all these things like all the rest here says: "Stop worrying so much, get on with what really matters!" yada yada. But I know it will not come through. Because I did not even know what really mattered: I wish I did. I can not even think of how I was thinking back then: nowadays I cannot possibly understand how I used to think about life back then.
For me, my parents saved me really. One day my mother came to me, angrily yelling: "If you do not talk now, I will call a psychiatric institure right now!" Because of my depression I wasn't talking to my parents much that year, while living in the same house. I think it was the thing that I needed to hear. I was upset that I have let my mother down. She was really unhappy back then. When I think about it now, I can feel her pain. But I know, things are good now :) I love her, she loves me yada yada :@` (Try to keep it happy here huh!) Also, I did not want to go to a psychiatric institute! So instantly I had two things that mattered to me: my mum's state of mind and my own fear an angriness of possibly going to a place like that. All of a sudden: I had real problems that were close to me, instead of all the thinking: "this world sucks, everybody sucks, I am a good person, why can't people see this??! Why don't I feel love? It must be because of everything and everyone!!"
So I tried and tried to talk more to my parents (it sounds easy, but it was so hard to restore the relationship), do things... luckily I have very good friends and they were still inviting me for parties and stuff. They never knew of a depression whatsoever. I never showed it, I made a lot of jokes etc. I was a fun guest, but I was doing it for them. It did not come from within me back then.
Anyway... this is not about me. The good thing of the 'threat' that my mother did to me, was that I realized that there was something that mattered: I felt like a complete jerk to have let my parents, especially my mother, down so much. She might have been even unhappier than I was at the time, just to see her son ignoring her like that.
So, think about it: your parents, your friends etc all want to see you happy. Do it for them. Fake it till you make it. Hang on. It will pay back. You write that your parents are in a financial struggle. It would be great if they see you smile, to forget the troubles they are having. A change of location can always be a good thing. You could try a two month vacation to the Caribbean where people are friendly and not that materialist. (Try to stop blaming the world for what is really your perception of it)
I was not nearly out of my depression when I started losing my hair. Great timing... but it turned out good. I used it in the process of becoming undepressed. Deal with your problems first and then come back asking whether you should keep on shaving your head of making cool flames out of your remaining hair :/O
Well, I just hope this makes sense for you. Try not to wait for an event in your life that will magically change your mindset. You have to do it yourself. It will get over. It's not the evil world that makes you depressed, it's your hormones probably. They will fade. I hope. All I can say, you have to do it yourself. Nobody can give you advice on a web forum.
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How come nobody has suggested a skullet. If you are look to turn heads grow one. Then nobody will ask if your in the military, you can color it, put it up or pull it back in a pony tail.
I'd go for a skullet if all I wanted was attention.
http://peeba.gfxile.net/roskaa/bikerfox.jpg
Sorry guys I couldn't resist. :/O
Seriously though, My opinion.... do what makes you happy, grow it out, buzz, shave lighting bolts on the sides just be yourself. a persons haircut does NOT make him a "good man" it is the attitude you approach people with. Try just being happy around others smile. I bet a smile and a joke will make more people think you are a nice guy more than anything you do to your looks. True story. one of the best friends I had in high school was a girl that was way over weight but she was the sweetest person if you ever met her. She was very popular, she laughed and smiled all the time and was just a lot of fun to be around. She knew who she was and was o.k. with it.
Laugh and you will live longer!
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Ummm..pardon me as a very new member of this forum if I am overstepping my boundaries---but...based on the link to that myspace bog stuff is there someone that should be notified???? That looks rather serious---and way beyond isses of lightning bolt hairstyles....
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From the top of your ears to your Adam's apple, you probably have all the follicles you had when you began shaving. There are probably more different beard styles than there are hair styles. Grow something exuberant there and NO one will think "military." They might think "weirdo," but they will definitely not ask you about Parris Island or "Desert Storm."
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Not to minimize in anyway the serious nature of his posts, he was last at SBG on 1/23/10 & the I want to die post on MySpace was on 2/26/10. We've kinda missed this one, and I hope nothing bad has happened. He is a very troubled guy.
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How come nobody has suggested a skullet. If you are look to turn heads grow one. Then nobody will ask if your in the military, you can color it, put it up or pull it back in a pony tail.
I'd go for a skullet if all I wanted was attention.
http://peeba.gfxile.net/roskaa/bikerfox.jpg
Sorry guys I couldn't resist. :/O
Laugh and you will live longer!
Laugh, maybe, but too close to lunch time & that could be a mighty nasty looking keyboard in front of you unless you were warned. What is he after? :/O--no I don't want to know anymore :P.
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Not to minimize in anyway the serious nature of his posts, he was last at SBG on 1/23/10 & the I want to die post on MySpace was on 2/26/10. We've kinda missed this one, and I hope nothing bad has happened. He is a very troubled guy.
I checked his MySpace profile and it says that someone has logged into his account on April 28th. That either means he did it, or someone else did. If someone else did then it implies that he at least has someone in his life close enough that he'd give them the keys to something so personal.
I admit that when I read and linked to his blog months ago I was really conflicted as to what to do. It read like a personal cry for help, and the sad thing was none of his MySpace friends posted a comment. The blog was already a month old and, well, what DO you do in a situation like this when it's the virtual world? Is it right to interfere with something that's more than likely just venting and not a true threat of suicide? It's a tough call.
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I also think his lack of hair is really eating at him. His name on MySpace is now "Sly's Kool-Aid Cult".
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Total derail of thread, but it cracks me up whenever I see your name and avatar, Rusty Shackleford :*)) :*))
"If all you're goin on is my confession, forget it. I'm simply not credible."
"If you want, I can teach you how to make a bomb out of a toilet paper roll and a stick of dynamite."
"I killed eight gophers last year and a purebred Tennessee walking horse that was looking at me funny."
"I thank my father every day for all the tricks he played on me. He taught me the most wonderful lesson a child can learn: Never trust nobody. That's how I know Bob Dole's faking that dead arm."
:*)) :*)) :*))
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Nancy! BillOnBass is making fun of me.
Nancy? John Redcorn, can you tell me where my Nancy is?
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Switch your style up. I'm starting to wear more athletic clothes, and even tho I'm not much of an athelte its better to get percived as that instead of the usual skinhead comments.
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Try shaving only once a week, it'll help your vanity and shaving day becomes quite fun and less of a chore.
+1... I agree... Once a week makes it easier...
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Buy a wig.