Sly Bald Guys Forum
Confidence and Success => Relationships/Dating => Topic started by: BeaveCake on March 10, 2015, 10:22:41 AM
-
I'm 19, and after close family death I got a condition where hair diffusely thins, and I lost about 70% of scalp density. Usually it's only temporary but mine aged the follicles so they won't return. So I opted to shave it to the skin. Personally I don't mind it but I made the mistake of looking on baldtruthtalk and seeing guys who say any woman below 30 won't even look at you. (You can see the issue) so from other young guys experience with hairloss, do women in their 20's really stay away from the bare scalp or have you been successful. Truthfully if I knew I could still get an attractive girl young I would not give a crap about the lost hair.
-
Welcome to the board!
First, condolences on the loss of your loved one. Secondly, what we try to convince people is that a bald (or balding) head is not a curse in life. Many of our members are below thirty and have gone on to have great relationships, and even marriages, because they were confident in themselves, and realize that a woman who won't give you the time of day because of your hairstyle probably isn't worth your time. Personally, I had shaved bald in my younger days, and I was still able to go out with women because I felt good about myself all around. Stick around for some of the discussions, and we can help here. Good luck!
-
My thoughts ... if a lady can't handle a bald head, she probably also cannot handle other more important things in life.
I look around my community and I see a whole bunch of young men who either buzz very short or shave their heads, and they all have girlfriends or wives.
-
Your haircut is irrelevant; it is all about "attitude". If you have good hygiene, dress in clean clothes, and carry yourself with confidence; (not cockiness, but confidence); potential dates will most certainly notice you.
After that it is all about the real you. If you are a stand-up kind of guy who treats a girl with respect, listens to her, and shows her those nice little considerations that a girl likes; the girls will most certainly notice that too!
After that, the good ones will stick around and the not-so good ones will know that they are "swimming in the deep end of the pool" and will drift off and look for a guy who is not as together as you are.
-
I agree with what others have said, it is about the real you not how you look.
-
Welcome! I don't think being shaved would stop a decent woman, just have confidence in yourself.
When I was mid 20's my girlfriend was a supporter of me shaving my head, which I started while dating her.
-
First off, welcome young friend! You will find that the majority of guy's & gal's are very supportive on this great site. Be assured you are not here by accident!
Secondly, I am very sorry for your recent loss of a loved one. I have experienced similar as have a few folks here.
Thirdly, if you a re confident with your 'new' look, then dating will not be too much of a problem. Any woman that disses you because of lack of or loss of hair is not worth your attention, brother.
I first had my head shaved when I was about 20 and it didn't really affect any prospects of dating for me. I subsequently re-grew my hair for a while but ended up having my head shaved again at a later time.
I trust that this helps you a little.
All the best,
Bilko
-
I live in a college town and can tell you that here, many college age guys have clipper shaved buzz cuts or shaved heads, and many I assume are by choice. So, while I do not have personal experience, I do see a lot of these guys with girls. I think a shaved head has become so common these days it is a non-issue with dating. But, if you let it bother you, you will not seem confident and that can be a turn off. So if you sense a confidence issue, try so other things. Work out and get in shape, dress well (or better), etc. Ladies are attracted to guys with confidence.
-
Nobody's touched on this part of the question yet but, and this is a serious point, don't write off the over 30 "women". The reason I put the "women" in quotes is because when you get into the over 30 set you are, for the most part, looking at an upgrade. You are dating a WOMAN, not a girl. There's an old saying that describes older women as "high mileage, low maintenance". She has probably been through at least one "long term commitment" and usually has a more realistic worldview. Your life will be simplified, you will receive a valuable education, and you'll have a lot of fun. So don't get all stressed out about girls when there are plenty of women out there looking to get a little sumthin'-sumthin' going with a younger guy.
So don't stress, little brother, at 19 the last thing you should be looking for is a wedding planner. Have fun while you're young enough to take advantage of it.
Women are looking at you, girls are looking at your hair.
-
Nobody's touched on this part of the question yet but, and this is a serious point, don't write off the over 30 "women". The reason I put the "women" in quotes is because when you get into the over 30 set you are, for the most part, looking at an upgrade. You are dating a WOMAN, not a girl. There's an old saying that describes older women as "high mileage, low maintenance". She has probably been through at least one "long term commitment" and usually has a more realistic worldview. Your life will be simplified, you will receive a valuable education, and you'll have a lot of fun. So don't get all stressed out about girls when there are plenty of women out there looking to get a little sumthin'-sumthin' going with a younger guy.
So don't stress, little brother, at 19 the last thing you should be looking for is a wedding planner. Have fun while you're young enough to take advantage of it.
Women are looking at you, girls are looking at your hair.
While I agree maturity definitely matters, I would actually like relationships in my 20's like most. And for me I could really only feasibly see dating 3-5 years older. So waiting until I'm 30 to get a girl at all is still defeat to me.
-
Please - stop stressing and "distressing" yourself.
You are 19 years old -- NINETEEN!!!!! You have the world by the tail! Do you have any idea of the thousands of women you are going to meet and the hundreds of adventures you are going to have in the next 20 years - IF you just let yourself have them?
Don't waste one more precious minute of your 19 year old self worrying about your hair. Just go out and find some adventure! Take a big handful grab at life and pull really hard - the whole world is out there just waiting for you; YOU! So get out there and start grabbing! Along the way one great girl is going to notice that you are a guy who grabs for the important things in life and she is going to grab ahold of you - and she won't let go either!
-
So waiting until I'm 30 to get a girl at all is still defeat to me.
Seriously, that's the point you think I was trying to make? Best of luck in all future endeavors.
-
In my experience, being bald wont influence your dating prospects.
When I met my wife, I had shaved my head for sport. I grew it back, but she constantly
commented on how better I looked bald.
Ive had my head bald now for 5 years and am married with with two kids, (im 26)
-
There are several of us here that are 60ish , don't you guys wish you had that problem of being 19 and bald? I know I do.
-
So waiting until I'm 30 to get a girl at all is still defeat to me.
Seriously, that's the point you think I was trying to make? Best of luck in all future endeavors.
I guess I may have mistakenly taken it as 'most in their 20's wouldn't or aren't mature' I'm not saying there is anything wrong with a 30 year old gal just that (while I wouldn't mind a girl a few years my senior) 30's is a pretty big gap for 19. If I was 27 then yeah I wouldn't care but I'm sure you understand what I meant. Honestly the hair only affects my confidence with ladies. I still go to all the events, never try to hide it with hats or anything etc and I'm one of the youngest skydivers in the state so I haven't let it stop me otherwise.
-
So waiting until I'm 30 to get a girl at all is still defeat to me.
Seriously, that's the point you think I was trying to make? Best of luck in all future endeavors.
I guess I may have mistakenly taken it as 'most in their 20's wouldn't or aren't mature' I'm not saying there is anything wrong with a 30 year old gal just that (while I wouldn't mind a girl a few years my senior) 30's is a pretty big gap for 19. If I was 27 then yeah I wouldn't care but I'm sure you understand what I meant. Honestly the hair only affects my confidence with ladies. I still go to all the events, never try to hide it with hats or anything etc and I'm one of the youngest skydivers in the state so I haven't let it stop me otherwise.
Seriously; you are a skydiver? What a coincidence! I fly a small homebuilt airplane. I often go to an airport in Rochelle, IL which has a really first class skydiving operation. They have so many people in that club that they keep two twin turbine Otters flying from dawn til dusk every day from Easter to Halloween!. When I go there I have noticed threethings about the skydivers while they are on the ground:
1. How many of them appear to be very, very, masculine - and confident in that, (I am so cool I can hardly stand myself).
2. How many of them have great looking girls hanging all over them in their tight-assed jump suits and aviator sunglasses!
3. How such a large proportion of them have shaved heads - even though they are not balding!
My goodness - you are NINETEEN!!! and a SKYDIVER!!!! and a SHAVED HEAD!!!!!!- I would give my left N__T to be you!!!!! Wear that aerodynamic scalp "loud and proud" young man! Ask any girl out on a date and take her with you to watch you skydiving - she will be putty in your hands!
-
I want to say that this forum was a big help to my confidence about losing hair, when I first shaved yeah I was self conscious only being 19 but after reading other sites with guys who lost hair young I lost all hope. They said everyone views you lower attractive young women won't give you a second glance etc. And that really killed me. I hoped that the reason nobody ever said 'I shaved and still did good' was because they had no reason to be on sites for hairloss etc, they had succeeded why talk about it on the internet. Well while I'm sure a large chunk of guys who shave their head are successful and don't post here, I'm very glad that I did find what has to be one of the rarest things on the internet; a positive forum. Several guys were kind enough to give examples where a bald head this young didn't stop them getting the pretty girl or being viewed as a successful individual. I'm very glad I posted here and it's really helped my confidence. On top if that my Mom showed me a picture of her friends daughter in her 20's who is gorgeous marrying a 20 something who also sports a shaved head. Between seeing that and the help here I can safely say that a razor was my sure fire cure for hairloss. Thanks for all the help!
-
I'm 19 aswell and i've been balding since 15, started shaving a couple of months ago and the first thing i thought about was how my dating life would be like since I already wasn't much how a ladies man. To my suprise i get alot more girls now, the shaved head turned out to be a huge confidence boost and I feel really good about myself. On apps like badoo a bald head might nit work as good as hair but i've met a couple of girls there aswell, gotten a lot of comments that i was hot and i hooked up with a girl from there. This would have never happend before because i would have been to worried about my hair when i met her.
Confidence takes you a long way, just talk and act confident. Some of my friends whi has a full head of hair, a really nice haircut, good clothes and a really well trained body have a harder time getting girls than me, in my experience you just have to know how to talk to them. Focus on them and don't do what i did back in the day, always trying to get confirmation that you look good from here. If you are already talking a girl remember she is already talking to you, she chise to keeo the conversation going when she could have chosen to talk to someone else or do someone else, you don't have to worry if you look good or not at that point because she wouldn't talk to you if she didn't fins you intresting.
This is just my experience i have no idea if you're already applying this or not but i hope it helps!
-
I started this forum when I was 29 and I can tell you I wish I would have shaved my head when I was in college. The amount of attention I got from the ladies when I shaved my head was great. Like the others have said, it's all about confidence. If you need any help wi that, check out the book The Game by Neil Strauss.
-
If you have confidence, your hair or lack of it won't make a difference. You will attract the right person with the right attitude.
Good luck!
-
Honestly yes if sit in the corner and say poor me .