Sly Bald Guys Forum
Confidence and Success => How To Be Successful => Topic started by: fcb2001 on May 03, 2010, 08:58:13 AM
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Iam working on getting my school teachers license my plans are to be a school librarian, i have to get my elementary school teacher license and then my secondary teachers license, i have to get my behavioral sciences degree i have to get first which will be completed in 2014, i will be getting my liberal arts degreee this month, when i do my professional deveolpment classes, when i do this work, i will have to wear a suit, i get horrible anxities whenever i have to dress real nice, the most formal wear that i prefer to wear is a tunic style suit that Nehru wore in India(it is called the Sun Yat sen suit,or the Nehru jacket and i will wear timberlands),
I prefer to wear either a soccer or a hockey jersey and baggy shorts and birkenstocks, whenever i have to dress nicer i wear a golf shirt, jeans and cowboy boots.
iam sort of upset that i live in a laid back state and i have to wear a shirt and tie, and a nice sport coat while iam in the Professional Development Portion of my schooling, i just have horrible anxities and i get scared and nervous when people say that i look nice in a suit and my feelings are hurt whenever i get compliments that i look nice dressed up, the suit doesnt fit my personality, I just have this horrible fear that needs to be overcome, but i have no idea on how to conquer and overcome this fear, and i want to overcome it but i have no idea on how to do itplus am fashion challenged, i have no idea of what works and what to match, i was born in Canada and i prefer to dress laid back and informal, i just hate formal stuff and i get horrible anxities whenever i have formals to do or dree up for formal functions, and i have a horrible sense of fashion and i have no clue what is popular or not. My shirts and ties were chosen by other people, i just gave someone money and told them to get me a nice shirt and tie and sports jacket and that iam fashion Challeneged
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Good luck with school!
I used to have a job where I had to wear a suit & tie. It really is the easiest thing to wear--the only thing easier would be a uniform. It is designed for the fashion challenged. Once you have a friend pick out a couple of suits and some ties, there is nothing else to really think about in the morning. You could even have someone plan out your tie/suit/shirt combinations and just pick one every morning. If you stick with white shirts, which are always acceptable, then your work is even simpler. Except for some extremes, men's suits aren't as subject to fashion whims as other stuff you could wear.
Suits are not meant to show your personality. They are meant to relieve you from having to think about how to express yourself. They are also meant to relieve other people from having to make judgments about you because of your clothing. It's supposed to be a boring, neutral way to dress that puts you in a role for the job you are doing.
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my feelings are hurt whenever i get compliments that i look nice dressed up
Dude, that's kinda messed up.
You're a good-looking guy and have lost some weight (a noted in other topics), so use that to your advantage. If you look good dressed up, that's an asset not a liability.
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The Brothers are giving you very well tailored advice. And, from someone who's had to put a tie on since high school, I think you're building this up from the literal more hill to a mountain. Now, like most I take the "heavy duties" off right after work, but at work, why not. And, this is strange, you do get a better response in the business setting if you're dressed for it.
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Check out www.askandyaboutclothes.com
It sounds to me like you need to just wear it and get used to it -- then you won't even realize what you're wearing.
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Anywhere that sells suits should have staff that can pick out clothes that will look good. Also they should be able to tailor it to the right fit. If they can't go somewhere else. It would be kinda like buying a car from a dealership that didn't know anything about cars and couldn't service them.
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"life" makes a good point. A lot of the clerks in reputable clothing stores (not Wal-Mart) are very knowledgeable about their goods. I think I've got a good eye for style (avatar attire notwithstanding) but always make a point to chat up the clerks about my choices.
I've personally found that the more mature ladies and gents (especially the gay ones) can help you make choices that will look astounding on you.
Case in point. I never would have thought to pair gray and brown. But earlier in the year I saw a mannequin that was outfitted with a nutmeg brown blazer, a dove gray shirt, and a Jerry Garcia tie that brought the two colors together. It looked amazing!
I now own that shirt and tie (the blazer, alas, was not available in my very-hard-to-find size of 46S) and spent a lot of time chatting with the dude that put the outfit together for the display.
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I've personally found that the more mature ladies and gents (especially the gay ones) can help you make choices that will look astounding on you.
My apologies in advance for the thread hijacking, but Bear brought something up that caused my very easily-distracted mind to ponder...
I've wondered about that stereotype - how it is that gay men seem so much better with fashion/decor sense (and many other creative pursuits for that matter) than their straight counterparts. Is it part of the genetic makeup, or is it (what I'm leaning more towards, in theory) that straight men are just simply too afraid to either try to be good at (or admit to being good at) these sort of things, for fear of somehow being mis-labeled (stereotypes strike again)...
Then again, what do I know? I'm married with kids, but am creative/artistic - crochet, knitting, photography, singing, cooking, and not a half-bad sense of color (if I do say so myself!), but whose - on the other hand - idea of preferred work clothing is shorts and a Hawaiian shirt (and the shirt only because I have to wear one to work! LOL!)
Again, sorry for the tangent... we return you now to your regularly-scheduled topic.
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My comment was mostly tongue-in-cheek, but I think that it's mostly because straight guys generally don't seek out a career as a men's clothing clerk (sort of like hair dressing). There's probably also a hefty psychological component, as you surmised, where boys are brought up to think that "real men" don't care about looks (after all, they'll get wives who will dress them, right? ::))
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^^^ Exactly
This is changing in NA society though, as the parent of any teenage boy would tell you.
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I could never have a dress code, especially one that required a tie. In fact, I've avoided certain jobs because of the tie. You gotta do the work think for about 45 years, may as well be comfortable!
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Dude - I hear that! My mindset is that if an employer wants me to upgrade my wardrobe, they had damn well better be prepared to help me pay for it!! (LOL) My wardrobe looks like the bastard child of Jimmy Buffett and Wal-Mart; except in the winter, when you need to add in the Brawny paper towel lumberjack guy!
That said, I do own a couple of pairs of dockers, and a few polo shirts and oxford-type shirts, and have acquired a goodly number of ties for when the occasion warrants it (work doesn't warrant it in my book). Plus a tux for chorale, and whatever my quartet decides to wear for whatever performance is coming up...
Bear - I wouldn't let my wife dress me anyhow, and she knows not to buy me clothes. Of course the end result is what I described above. ::)
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My wardrobe looks like the bastard child of Jimmy Buffett and Wal-Mart; except in the winter, when you need to add in the Brawny paper towel lumberjack guy!
;D ;D ;D ;D ;D *)) :*)) :*)) :*)) I just bust a gut
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Anywhere that sells suits should have staff that can pick out clothes that will look good. Also they should be able to tailor it to the right fit. If they can't go somewhere else. It would be kinda like buying a car from a dealership that didn't know anything about cars and couldn't service them.
Ever since working in a bike shop myself, I ask for advice from people who work in stores a lot more.
Think of it this way: most of us are pretty good at judging other people since we do it all the time. So you can tell if someone working in a store is competent and honest even if you know nothing about the product. If you're having trouble figuring this out, just pay attention to how they interact with their co-workers. But people who work in a specialty store (bike shop, men's clothing store, etc.) do nothing but talk about, rearrange, sell, fix, and take back merchandise. They know what works and what their customers like. (You have to overlook places like Wal-Mart and big box electronics stores where it's impossible to know anything about the products.)
The frustrating thing was when customers didn't seem to want to say what they wanted. It's OK to say you want a cheap bike, or a suit that isn't going to look outdated in a year. Stores do stock a lot of expensive exotic stuff, but people who work there know that's not what most people buy.
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good way to look t it, i have a bike that i use, but i got it at a speciality bike shop, and cost me over 1000 dollars, it is a race bicycle, it is only used for biking trips from Estes Park, and for when i do Tour of the Rockies, and RAGBRAI
Anywhere that sells suits should have staff that can pick out clothes that will look good. Also they should be able to tailor it to the right fit. If they can't go somewhere else. It would be kinda like buying a car from a dealership that didn't know anything about cars and couldn't service them.
Ever since working in a bike shop myself, I ask for advice from people who work in stores a lot more.
Think of it this way: most of us are pretty good at judging other people since we do it all the time. So you can tell if someone working in a store is competent and honest even if you know nothing about the product. If you're having trouble figuring this out, just pay attention to how they interact with their co-workers. But people who work in a specialty store (bike shop, men's clothing store, etc.) do nothing but talk about, rearrange, sell, fix, and take back merchandise. They know what works and what their customers like. (You have to overlook places like Wal-Mart and big box electronics stores where it's impossible to know anything about the products.)
The frustrating thing was when customers didn't seem to want to say what they wanted. It's OK to say you want a cheap bike, or a suit that isn't going to look outdated in a year. Stores do stock a lot of expensive exotic stuff, but people who work there know that's not what most people buy.
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Denim and leather works for me.
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Check out www.askandyaboutclothes.com
It sounds to me like you need to just wear it and get used to it -- then you won't even realize what you're wearing.
No! No! Not that! Actually, when we moved from Idaho from Boston, I got rid of my sports jackets and ties. Being dressed up here, means wearing jeans and a t-shirt. Only the Mormons wear suits and ties in North Idaho.
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At my old job, the dress code was business casual, Monday through Thursday. Business casual was a pair of khaki's or dress pants, but not too fancy, if you get what I mean. A polo or a button down shirt was be fine to wear. A pair of dress shoes, or in the summertime, a good looking pair of sandals would suffice. Some people wore plain black sneakers too. The only men who wore ties were the upper management people and they only wore them if something important was going on that day. I had a retail job in the mall at one time and it was pretty much the same dress code.
Friday, Saturday, and Sunday, We could wear pretty much what we wanted to as long as it had no drug and alcohol references, no profanity, no obsene, or anything with offensive remarks. You could wear shorts (As long as they weren't extremely short.) jeans, shorts, sneakers, or flip flops. In the summer on the weekends, almost all of the ladies, and a few guys, ( I was one of them ;D ) worked in barefoot on the weekends. :XX I eventually transferred out of the call center and into another department and very rarely worked on a Saturday, even then it was 6am-11am or 7am-12pm, or something like that. The same dress code pretty much applied.
I did all of my work clothes shopping and regular clothes shopping, either at Gabriel Brothers, Burlington or TJ Maxx. Also, Value City when it was still in business. Sometimes, I would find barely worn and sometimes the tags still on clothes at secondhand stores. I went to the Salvation Army, which this particular store everything was free, found a pricey pair of Gap Brand khaki pants with tags on them. The price tags, which was still on them, was close to $50. Also, I found another very expensive brand, a Ralph Lauren dress shirt that was barely worn.
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My comment was mostly tongue-in-cheek, but I think that it's mostly because straight guys generally don't seek out a career as a men's clothing clerk (sort of like hair dressing). There's probably also a hefty psychological component, as you surmised, where boys are brought up to think that "real men" don't care about looks (after all, they'll get wives who will dress them, right? ::))
There's a lot of accuracy to that statement. When I was growing up, the extent of my clothing matching was pairing jeans with a shirt. If it looked ok, I went with it. These days I consider myself to be fairly savvy with dressing myself nicely and coordinating outfits due to working in a mall clothing store for a couple of years during college. Not to mention, the ladies seem to dig guys who know how to dress.
I know this post is on the old side, but my biggest advice is to stroll into a clothing store (not a big box store), pick out a couple of things that catch your eye, then walk up to a cute girl working there and ask her advice on the outfit. Most of the time they'll steer you in the right direction.
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Well most things suit a bald head depending on your stature i think . The older guy combats boots and a t shirt are friends . Mine is sports gear mainly but also like me leathers and sometimes do go formal , suit n tie . Its what you feel comfortable in
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I find I am more conscious of dressing now that I am sly. At work I am allowed to wear a collared shirt with smart pants. No jeans. Often I will wear a tie just because it sort of finishes off the look. In winter a jacket, collar and tie and smart pants is what I enjoy.
I think a bald man in a suit generally looks good, clean and smart. And somehow black suits, black golf shirts and a great personality just does it for sly guys.
I think its not only about attire, you can wear almost anything reasonable these days and get away with it. But how you are able to pull the look off, mixed with a super personality is the trick!