Call your doctor and arrange for counselling--you need professional help.
I also can't buzz or shave my head because the shape of my head is so bad, I even get panic attacks seeing the shadow of my head.
Listen to the knowledge and wisdom being offered by Ming and Saint! We may be able to counsel you about what is going on outside your head, but none of us are qualified to diagnose what is going on inside your head. Please see you family doctor for help; suicide is never the answer and always leaves your family and friends in pain wondering why you didn't ask for help. Hair is only hair - look at the hundreds of children at St. Judes who have lost their hair to chemotherapy. They have much more to worry about than hair.Get to a doctor and treat your drepression before you worry about making a decision about your hair or head shape!Jim