This is a very exciting thread!
I love using affirmations (Louise Hay is the queen of affirmations) it is said that for a affirmation to be really powerful it needs to be worded in the present time, ie saying I will suggests the future. The only time that truly exists is the present, not the past or the future (the future/past is really just a thought or memory).
Maybe when you say your affirmation maybe you can re-word " I AM" bringing it into the now - "I am a kick ass bald dude who is truly sly".
" I am a kick ass chick who digs bald dudes".