Author Topic: Advice Needed Desperately - bald but in denial?  (Read 6620 times)

Offline LR

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Advice Needed Desperately - bald but in denial?
« on: July 24, 2009, 06:59:38 PM »
I am 46 years old,married with two great teenage kids,but feel like an idiot over this issue.

I have been bald for over 25 years now and have been very self concious about it.I work in the building maintenance field and have been with the company now for five years and I have always worn a baseball cap at work.This has not been a problem but is becoming a problem for me recently because I need to go hatless but I am embarrased to do it.I tend to become embarrassed about my baldness around people that I know.When I am around strangers I do not care and have the confidence.I do not wear a hat anywhere or any other time except at work.I need some type of support or advice on how to get over this anxiety.

My fear is not being bald now, but what my reaction will be to comments from others or coworkers about being bald.I am concerned about what type of reaction I will have, which I want to be positive.Please help and advise.

I keep my hair short - not sure if I am ready for a complete shave yet.I need to work on one problem at a time. :/O  :/O



Offline D.A.L.U.I.

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Re: Advice Needed Desperately - bald but in denial?
« Reply #1 on: July 24, 2009, 07:16:46 PM »
You're here, you're uncomfortable being balding, and you've thought about shaving.  The answer is obvious--do it, do it now.  You'll never be at peace with yourself until you do, and it , or what's left, will grow back.  It's Saturday night, Sunday should see you sly-- you'll never regret, we promise.

Offline Paul

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Re: Advice Needed Desperately - bald but in denial?
« Reply #2 on: July 24, 2009, 08:07:49 PM »
First off LR, welcome. Second, that is some great advice from saint.   Nothing will build your confidence more than shaving it down.   Don't worry about what others think, but what you want to do to be free and self assured.   And you don't have to take my word for it, just ask any of the others on here who have faced the same dilemma.
"...and I--I took the road less traveled by, and that has made all the difference."  Robert Frost

Offline SBG Math Guy

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Re: Advice Needed Desperately - bald but in denial?
« Reply #3 on: July 24, 2009, 10:23:50 PM »
Hi, if you have been bald for 25 years and you still really self conscious about it then
I would say go see a psychologist for help.  You may need some professional help.
Don't be afraid to go for it.  You should be enjoying life and not worry about losing hair.
Please do that for yourself.     

Offline Ming the Merciless

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Re: Advice Needed Desperately - bald but in denial?
« Reply #4 on: July 25, 2009, 01:02:01 PM »
What IS it about this "going bald" thing?  I am new here (today), although I lurked for about a month and read many posts.  OK, OK, I, myself, in my "golden years" am not actually really bald.  And, yet, I shave it all off most of the time.  The much quoted phrase, "Bald is beautiful," does not seem to have the acceptance it should.  Hair/no hair...if nature says that you will be a shedder, "go with the go," and live with it.  And if, like me, you actually prefer the bald look, go for that too.  No one I know has ever thought the less of me for my shaving; so, if nature if pushing you down that path...what the hell, I say, take it all off!  It's just another way to be yourself.

Offline LR

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Re: Advice Needed Desperately - bald but in denial?
« Reply #5 on: July 25, 2009, 04:14:08 PM »
Well guys I did it I am know a sly guy and I think I like it.Definetly much cooler, just need to tan the freshly shaved area -any suggestions?

Thanks for the replies that I did recieve and the advice.

I will work on my self confidence.

Offline sellitman

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Re: Advice Needed Desperately - bald but in denial?
« Reply #6 on: July 25, 2009, 07:04:34 PM »
Welcome to the group.

I am a MPB guy who spent at least 3 months here before doing the deed. You already have me beat in guts alone. For someone with diminished confidence you sure took the bull by the horns!

It's about a month for me and I doubt I will ever let a strand of hair grow on my dome again. Spend some time here and enjoy one of the friendliest few pages on the net. These guys here are the ticket to renewed mental health.

"There is naught nor ought there be nothing so exalted on the face of God’s grey Earth as that prince of foods... the muffin!"- Frank Zappa

Offline GaryT

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Re: Advice Needed Desperately - bald but in denial?
« Reply #7 on: July 29, 2009, 09:50:52 PM »
Once again, welcome to the forum brother! I think that Ming had some great wisdom on the subject!!  If  you're heading there already heading there, go for it man!! Shave it off and keep it off for 30 days and see how you feel!! You'll love it, I promise!!
It's all about attitude!

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Re: Advice Needed Desperately - bald but in denial?
« Reply #8 on: July 30, 2009, 08:13:03 AM »
It's all about perspective management....  

It's only hair loss -- it's nowhere near the heart or any other vital organs.

This thread has some ways to build your confidence and self esteem and not stress about the minor sh*t. 

http://www.slybaldguys.com/smf/index.php?board=50.0
« Last Edit: July 30, 2009, 08:20:56 AM by Pshrynk »

Offline Tyler

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Re: Advice Needed Desperately - bald but in denial?
« Reply #9 on: July 30, 2009, 08:43:32 AM »
Well guys I did it I am know a sly guy and I think I like it.Definetly much cooler, just need to tan the freshly shaved area -any suggestions?

Thanks for the replies that I did recieve and the advice.

I will work on my self confidence.

Way to go!  Now continue with it for 30 days straight.  You may get a few comments here and there, but my guess is that most people won't notice or say anything. 
People are not limited by the circumstance that they are born in. They are limited by the size of their dreams. Show them that their dreams can have no limits and in turn their accomplishments can be limitless.

Offline Mikekoz13

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Re: Advice Needed Desperately - bald but in denial?
« Reply #10 on: July 30, 2009, 09:27:03 AM »
Welcome LR! Way to take charge...... now walk tall and with confidence. .... and remember, comments are just comments. If they are rude comments it says  lot about the person(s) delivering it. A confident Man doesn't have time for those kind of people in his life.
"What contemptible scoundrel stole the cork from my lunch?" W.C. Fields

Offline xnewyawka

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Re: Advice Needed Desperately - bald but in denial?
« Reply #11 on: August 01, 2009, 09:41:58 AM »
Welcome LR, and congrats on the shave. Remember, it's your life and what you want.
Confidence always shines through, so stand tall and proud, never hide.

Enjoy the forum, and keep the noggin' smooth!   O0

Offline Antimidas

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Re: Advice Needed Desperately - bald but in denial?
« Reply #12 on: August 01, 2009, 09:57:31 AM »
If you shave it off, they can't pick on you for losing it natural which you have no control of.  By shaving my head, I defused everyone who hassled me about losing my hair.  Now they just look like high school bullies who are hiding behind their own shortcomings.