Sly Bald Guys Forum
Discussions About Being Bald => To be or not be...Bald => Topic started by: Tyler on August 01, 2011, 08:51:13 PM
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This is a post by Sooner Steve in another thread, but it's such a great post it deserves to be it's own topic!
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I know where you are. I wore a "system" for 23 years from age 20 to 43. I was a slave to it. I know your fear. I was very scared and worried about what everyone would say. I was sure THEY would be shocked when I shaved it clean.
Turns out, I WAS THE ONE WHO WAS SHOCKED.
I was shocked to learn that I had not been fooling anyone with my "system".
I was shocked to learn that most everyone had wanted me to get rid of it for years.
I was shocked to learn that no one cared that I did not have hair.
I was shocked to learn that I felt bether about myself once I got rid of the "system."
I was shocked to learn that my self confidence shot straight through the roof.
I was shocked to learn that my hair, or the lack thereof, did not define me.
I was shocked to learn that I was happier without it.
I also had a huge plan of losing the system, getting a tan on vacation, etc. I discussed it with my wife. She was on board. I talked to my kids - age 10 & 14. I had a plan. I was ready. Then my 10 year old said "Dad, why don't you just go Friday to the barber, cut what's left and go to work on Monday." Sounded like a great idea and that is what I did. Even took him with me.
We still laugh about my elaborate plan to go SLY and how a 10 year old was smarter dear ol' dad and had a better plan.
I realize this is a long post but want you guys to know I understand where you are. These guys on here were WONDERFUL help to me. They gave me the same advice they are giving you.
TRUST ME - JUST DO IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Very powerful, Tyler. Thanx! O0
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Good for him, good for you T.
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Nice-y :)
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I'm so glad I never deluded myself with rugs plugs or drugs. Always a good reminder.
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What a grat post. Thanks for sharing it with us.
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Tyler:
Word for Word, that's my story. Went to HCm at 22, now 40 and dying to take it off. I am a slave to this god dam thing as well. I won't deny that it has helped sometimes and at points it has made me happier. But for the most part, it has been an expensive pain in the but. Always wondering if it looks right, have to mess with it in the morning, having problems with it, worrying if people notice it, etc, etc, etc...
I want to be done with it. My wife says that she is cool with it and my son is jsut about 5 and would like to get rid of it, before he starts realizing! I like to do alot of outdoor stuff and lugging this dam thing around, has taken the fun out of that kind of stuff!
My problem is lack of balls! The fear of making a change this drastic. The fear thiat I will take it off and look like a serial killer. And the fear that I will love it and then realzed I just wasted 20 years of my life, being a sissy.
I like making the plan idea. But if you have any other suggestions or words of encouragement, I would appreciate it. HK48...
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Glad I never followed through...was considering it in my early 20s, but realized I had to hold off because of my military career. Thought it would be too much to deal with...
...glad that gave me time to "mature" regarding this subject.
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But for the most part, it has been an expensive pain in the but. Always wondering if it looks right, have to mess with it in the morning, having problems with it, worrying if people notice it, etc, etc, etc...
Good Instincts! O0
My problem is lack of balls! The fear of making a change this drastic. The fear thiat I will take it off and look like a serial killer. And the fear that I will love it and then realzed I just wasted 20 years of my life, being a sissy.
Remember your first dive from the high board? Your first attempt to kiss the girl? Your first date? Well it's no worse than that--quit building it up and take it off--set a good example for your son because he may have the same genetics. After 30 days yes, like a lot of us, you'll wonder why you waited so long--so why wait any longer? Clipper, hot shower, later, new blade--you'll be free. Get on with life, stop paying HCM good money--Jesse James used a gun! Then take the wife out for a good dinner--and don't put it on your head anymore.
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And the fear that I will love it and then realzed I just wasted 20 years of my life, being a sissy.
From my point of view that says it all. Your wife is supportive, a real plus, so get it off and shave what remains if any and be proud to show off the real you. It's very liberating as many of us have found here - although I never ever considered a rug.
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I and many others here have been through the same thing and had similar thoughts. If you hate it, get rid of it. I got rid of it 2 and a half months ago after wanting to for years. I've never had one regret since. It isn't easy, but the fact that you came to this site and posted looking for inspiration show you are ready. Don't worry about balls and use your brain. WHy shell out all that money for something you hate. Spend that money on your 5 year old.
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I know how you feel. i just released my hairpiece after 25 years. Sooner Steve is right on. I am still a little
nervous at times but think I am hooked on how smooth I want my head to be. People are still surprised by
me removing the hair. If your family is ok with removing the piece then go for it.
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My problem is lack of balls! The fear of making a change this drastic. The fear thiat I will take it off and look like a serial killer. And the fear that I will love it and then realzed I just wasted 20 years of my life, being a sissy.
I like making the plan idea. But if you have any other suggestions or words of encouragement, I would appreciate it. HK48...
Here's the truth:
- You've already wasted 20 years of your life on this issue. Don't waste anymore.
- For 99% of people this will be a non-issue. They won't even comment. Heck, they probably won't notice because they're too engulfed in their own fears. For those that do notice, they will either think, "I wish I had the balls to be that bold" or will comment negatively because they realize they just got one up'd and need to make themselves feel better.
- Lastly, in a few minutes, hours, days, weeks and months most people will have forgotten that you even had hair when they met you.
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I'm a 40 year old man with shattered confidence, savings and direction. I have been an HCM member for 10 years and have been working on the courage, and excuse to free myself from this horrible burden that I have put on myself and my family.
This board has achieved what no one yet has done, in that I finally can see the shared life story that I have with so many other good men that fell for the illusion of security that comes with HCM.
You have convinced me to do this!
I share the same fears and reservations about the "reveal" at work, and the experiences that ya'll have posted have shown me that it may not be anywhere near as bad as I fear, and even if it is, it will be short lived.
I can do this!
I also have a second reason for this life change (apart from the massive expense).....
My Mom is dying of cancer. It will definitely take her in the coming months. She is trying a new experimental Chemo that will cause her hair to fall out.
My grand and secret "plan" is to start growing a goatee now (something I have never made it past 3 weeks trying) and right before we visit my folks for Thanksgiving week, shave it off, go to a barber and have it done right the first time, and then surprise Mom with our "shared" new look.
I see it as a dual reward. Honoring my Mom and showing solidarity with her plight, as well as freeing myself of this burden that I have afflicted myself with.
Now.....FEED ME COURAGE!
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You don't need us to feed you courage. Just do it to show solidarity with your mom. I'm very sorry to hear about her illness and wish you and your entire family the best.
Now, shave that head!! :x!
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Thanks Razor, I have been struggling to reach this point for a year or more now. Like others, its the work fears that hold me back.
I'm really tired of the rug and all that goes with it.
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I'm really tired of the rug and all that goes with it.
Well, your support of your Mother and the rug angst will see you through. What you've seen on this site is true, more compliments and jest than mean spirited comments. But the great thing is that the compliments keep coming long after the rug and fringe is gone. Best to you and yours.
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Holy Crap! I just looked at the Calendar and realized my deadline is next week! Gotta get over these nerves about it. Its really only the first day at work that gives me angst.
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Hey Shrugged and Hiker48:
First off, I am sorry to hear about your mother Shrugged. I just found out 2 weeks ago that my mom has a rare form of leukemia. My thoughts and prayers to you and your family.
I encourage both of you to lose the wig. I know your fears, I know your concerns, I know your thoughts, I know exactly what you are going through. I experienced them all. I can tell you this. Losing the wig was one of the greatest decisions I have ever made. My wife and family supported me. I have never received one negative comment. And even if I did, it wouldn't matter because I feel so much better about myself.
I too had the plan on my unveiling. Finally my 10 year old son told me to just shave it off and go to work. I did that very thing. Didn't "warn" or tell anyone other than wife and kids that I was gonna do it. To a person, everyone said it looked great. We all like to hear to good things said about us. My losing the wig was an outpouring of good comments. I loved it.
Guys, if you ever have questions, send me a message and we can talk. This board was a lifesaver for me. I just want to help anyone I can that is struggling with "losing the toupee".
Best Wishes,
Sooner Steve
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OK, I am quickly making the call and that call is SLY on Sunday!
I'm even telling some select people in an effort to sort of force my hand and go through with it.,
All the positive commentary here and the kind PM's have made me see this as the move I must make.
Still need to figure out how to break away from the HCM obligation and little things like getting a tan (bought Jergens natural glow express last night!) and if I can grow a goatee, but I think Im finally over the edge!
One question, I have very light blonde eyebrows, they are almost non existent. Will this look funny and should I consider maybe coloring them a little?
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OK, I am quickly making the call and that call is SLY on Sunday!
O0 Your only regret will be that you waited so long. HMC--that's a service contract--they won't be rendering a service, you don't have hair. I would think that they will go away.
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Thats true Saint, my main worry is that they run my debit card each month and its not ACH. This means that I have little control to prevent them from hitting my account beyond a total card cancellation.
I am going to call the manager tomorrow and negotiate my way out of this.
I'm still a little dreamy feeling that this isnt actually happening, but I think it is!
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OK, I am quickly making the call and that call is SLY on Sunday!
I'm even telling some select people in an effort to sort of force my hand and go through with it.,
All the positive commentary here and the kind PM's have made me see this as the move I must make.
Still need to figure out how to break away from the HCM obligation and little things like getting a tan (bought Jergens natural glow express last night!) and if I can grow a goatee, but I think Im finally over the edge!
One question, I have very light blonde eyebrows, they are almost non existent. Will this look funny and should I consider maybe coloring them a little?
If you want to have fun with it, do what I did and don't tell anyone. Monday morning, walk in like you own the place with your new look. Don't worry about the blonde eyebrows. I have to admit I love my dark eyebrows because I think it makes my eyes look intense but everyone is different and has a different look. Don't over think this. It's a new look and you're going to feel great!
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Moved forward in my sly journey. Purchased headblade, replacement blades and headslick yesterday. I also told my employees to expect me to look quite different when I return from Thanksgiving break.
I'm doing this! (OMG!)
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Another step forward! Just got off the horn with HCM. They were very sweet. I'm not totally out of the woods yet, but we agreed to allow me a "hold" until March and we will "revsist" things then. I told them there will likely be no revisiting then, but I'll allow them to try and convince me in February (bt then I'll be adapted to my new SLY). The "contract" never even came up in conversation. They said a lot of guys are doing this, mainly for financial reasons
They agreed to stop taking debits and even offered to do the removal.
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Another step forward! Just got off the horn with HCM. They were very sweet. I'm not totally out of the woods yet, but we agreed to allow me a "hold" until March and we will "revsist" things then. I told them there will likely be no revisiting then, but I'll allow them to try and convince me in February (bt then I'll be adapted to my new SLY). The "contract" never even came up in conversation. They said a lot of guys are doing this, mainly for financial reasons
They agreed to stop taking debits and even offered to do the removal.
Yuk, yuk ;D ;D ;D. At least they realize they have little to say in the matter. After doing the 30 Days advised by SBG I think you'll be so happy to be free, so adapted to the new guy in the mirror, and pleased with the reaction of your friends and acquaintances that you'll be totally in control--something they've denied you for years.
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One question, I have very light blonde eyebrows, they are almost non existent. Will this look funny and should I consider maybe coloring them a little?
Dude, I have absolutely no eyebrows - look at my pic. Those are eyebrows above the glasses. Don't worry about them. Trust me on this. Do not color them. You go be your own man. O0
Also, I read the steps you have taken. Man, I know this sounds crazy but I am so excited for you. You HAVE NO IDEA how much happier you are gonna be. Keep us all updated.
O0 O0 O0
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If you want to have fun with it, do what I did and don't tell anyone. Monday morning, walk in like you own the place with your new look.
Hey Acme. I did the very same thing. Nothing says I am taking control of my life any stronger than losing the wig, walking into the office with a shaved head and saying here I am world. Kiss my tail. I am my own man and secure in what I do. What a feeling!!!!!
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Yeah. I liked it much better just doing it than preparing everyone for it. I didn't have the wig, just heavily receding/thining hair that I was tired of arranging to conceal. If I had to do it again, I'd do it the same way. Don't tell anyone (except for one friend) because it gives more of a feeling of control over the whole thing.
I also can't stress enough to anyone still on the fence how great the whole experience has been.
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Nothing says I am taking control of my life any stronger than losing the wig, walking into the office with a shaved head and saying here I am world. Kiss my tail. I am my own man and secure in what I do. What a feeling!!!!!
Oh yeah, thanks for bringing back that memory for me! I only ditched a bad combover--but the sensation of here I am is the same. GREAT.
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Saintc, h e a d eous former combover wearer here to. Man I am glad those days are behind me . ;D
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Ya'll will be proud of me.
I decided to not even wait until Sunday, I'm doing it today. Goodbye rat! 8)
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shrugged y o u a r e t h e M A N ! O0 O0 O0 O0 O0 O0 O0 O0 O0 O0
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Awesome! Go for it Sir ;D
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Ya'll will be proud of me.
I decided to not even wait until Sunday, I'm doing it today. Goodbye rat! 8)
That is one GREAT idea O0--you're going to like this, take that to the bank 8)! Post up a picture of the new and free Sly Shrugged!
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You bet! (scared crapless!!) LOL :-\
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Ya'll will be proud of me.
I decided to not even wait until Sunday, I'm doing it today. Goodbye rat! 8)
YYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
You are the man. O0 O0 O0
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Great decision Shrugged. I'm sure you won't regret it and will wish you'd done it sooner.
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OK, half the process is done! On my way for a clean shave at the barber in a few. The rug is gone! (hating the horrible tan line and some moles though!
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Way to go shrugged, don't worry about the tan lines, eventually it will even out. If you feel the moles are in the way, you can have them removed.
It's easily way better than wearing a "dead hair hat"! ;)
Keep it smooth now.
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sorry its taken me so long to post, last minute hunting trip took me away. Boy were my bother's in law surprised! LOL
The best part is that despite 20 years of back and forth ribbing about every subject under the sun, they had nothing but compliments for me. My wife loves it too!!!
The only negatives I've been getting is that the tan line is so darned prominent that everyone mentions how badly I need a tan. It's pretty embarrassing, but not something I cant live with either.
I have the jergens natural glow express stuff, it must be slow working because it really hasnt done much since I first applied it Friday evening. I ended up with a hat on in the woods too though, so maybe some rub off?
I intend to get a pic up soon, (gotta figure out how!) and you all can judge too.
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last minute hunting trip took me away. Boy were my bother's in law surprised! LOL
The best part is that despite 20 years of back and forth ribbing about every subject under the sun, they had nothing but compliments for me. My wife loves it too!!!
Why aren't we surprised? ;)
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Pleased you got so many compliments. Enjoy the freedom.
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Hey Shrugged!
Congrats, man. Don't worry about the tan line it'll go away before you know it. Just give the dome some exposure to the sun everyday (but don't overdo it!) and you will be over that minor problem before you know it.
Enjoy the SLY life!
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Shrugged, congratulations my man! Happy to hear that things are going well in your journey to slyness. You have the support of your wife and others! You will find that embracing your baldness and being sly will be great. There may be some people making some comments, that is natural. But eventually it ends. Even my stepmom who would prefer that I have hair, understands why I shave it off, since the hair is really thin now! So don't look back! O0
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Not the best pic, but despite my ugliness, here ya go
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wacky pic too!
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Last one
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Looks excellent you are a natural . lookin very comfortable in your own skin. again fantastic look! :) :)
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shrugged:
Yes it's a big change, but a change for the better--and within your questioning of this process you know that. Glad to have you as a Sly Brother, and know that this will be one of the better choices you've made regarding your personal appearance. Bald Forever!
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What were you worrying about. Looks good and if you wear the look with confidence you will have made the best change you ever did.
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You made the right decision shrugged. It looks great and I'm sure it will be well- received by all. Enjoy your new freedom !!!
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Best compliments, you're lookig great!
Glad to hear everybody's loving your new style :) :) :) O0 O0 O0
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congrats!
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It looks pretty good...congrats! O0
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It looks good, you have your wife's support and you're saving money! It can't get better than that! Congrats!
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LOL, I've been enjoying my Sly so much, that I almost forgot that HCM is going to be calling me soon to see if I want the rat back. LOL, no chance. I'm waaayyyyy to sexy for the rat O0
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LOL, I've been enjoying my Sly so much, that I almost forgot that HCM is going to be calling me soon to see if I want the rat back. LOL, no chance. I'm waaayyyyy to sexy for the rat O0
LOL We have similar stories. I never went to the HCFM, but I did go to a local guy in my area who basically provided the same type of service. Never likes that crappy "system". That's what they call it, we all know it's just a fancy name for a rug! He wasnt terribly expensive to go to, but that stupid hair piece was. I think I'd pay like $500 ever few years to replace one when it started getting too crappy. Anyways. It was one of the best choices I ever made to kick it to the curb and go sly! I actually still use one though. Every now and again we have an 80's night party and I've cut a strip of that system, right out of the middle and use it to give myself a fake mohawk!!! O0
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I actually still use one though. Every now and again we have an 80's night party and I've cut a strip of that system, right out of the middle and use it to give myself a fake mohawk!!! O0
:o Well I'll be damned, there is at least one good use for wigs! :D
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I just realized, been 3 days since going sly and havent worn my ball cap since....hum, free at last, free at last!
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I just realized, been 3 days since going sly and havent worn my ball cap since....hum, free at last, free at last!
I was definitely a ball cap wearer when I had the HCM rat on my head, but like you the caps have been retired since going sly.
BTW, almost 8 months of FREEDOM and loved every single second of it! Only regret is that I didnt have the ballz to do it earlier than I did.
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I looked in the mirror this morning and realized that I havent been to the site in a while.
Just stopping in to reaffirm to all HCM guys to lose the RAT!
I have zero negatives and all positives to report for the 19 months I have been sly.
I am the happiest and most confident I have ever been and I credit many here for the sage advice you gave me when I needed it badly.
Thanks for that blessing my friends and enjoy your SLY!
(https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=10151164336320340&set=t.691896063&type=3&src=https%3A%2F%2Ffbcdn-sphotos-b-a.akamaihd.net%2Fhphotos-ak-ash4%2F385596_10151164336320340_29942675_n.jpg&size=771%2C552)
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Welcome back, BalDon! If that's your profile pic, you look great....and happy! Congratulations on freeing yourself from the "rug"
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What a great story! and what has happened to "The Rat"? :)
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Lol....I also haven't been on for a while now but thought I would stop by and say Hi...I to was a rat wearer.. 10 years and 20 thousand dollars later could not be happier. Joined our local volunteer fire department and married a wonderful woman. Since taking that NASTY rug off life has been amazing.... For those that are peeking and reading what guys are saying, I was there once too...Took along time to take care of business... How free it is to have that Tupee off..OMG...... It's not a "SYSTEM" like they call it either... Anyways, CONGRATS to all that have takin the plunge.. Thanks to everyone on here for helping me to go SLY..!
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TO Cowbar; the hair club that I went to made me give it back.... They said I was only leasing it..thought it was kind of funny they was so worried on getting it back..?!?!?
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That's hilarious!
TO Cowbar; the hair club that I went to made me give it back.... They said I was only leasing it..thought it was kind of funny they was so worried on getting it back..?!?!?
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TO Cowbar; the hair club that I went to made me give it back....
For what? To "lease" it to someone else?
Ewwwwwwwwwww....
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The sly bear;..... Bah ha ha... That's what I was thinking.. Lease it to someone else?!?!?!?!..... You would think after spending 20,000.00 they wouldnt care about one "toupee" ....... The people their was really nice to me over the years and I was more than happy to get rid of it.
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TO Cowbar; the hair club that I went to made me give it back.... They said I was only leasing it..thought it was kind of funny they was so worried on getting it back..?!?!?
Unbelievable :/O Maybe rat has gone to a new home? :@`
We have to try and be happy for rat and wish him all the best now you two have separated.
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Hi! I've been working so much that I've not posted in forever. Still sly and happy here! Going on 3 years since ditching the HCM rat. I love my life this way
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Bet you wondered what all the fuss was about? Enjoying your freedom i bet?
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Tyler, congrats for taking the step.
Here's what you have to remember: you were 43, middle aged, you had a wife who loved you and you had kids, probably a good job and beautiful house.... You had the complete package and it still took you that long to ditch the wig.
Most guys here are 20's, 30's, no girlfriend, no kids, no beautiful house. The ONLY thing standing between them and achieving all that is something as silly and superficial as no hair and yet that is the one thing that most girls put at the top of their priority list: a full head of hair.
That one thing is what keeps most guys at home on weekends staring at their computer screens chatting in chatrooms instead of going out and trying to get a girl.
25, bald, 5'4" to 5'8", slender...I wouldn't wish that fate on my worst enemy if i was looking to get a girlfriend.
There's no attractive way to paint the truth.
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Jack2at , your 2 post , are you saying this is you problem ,or are you saying this as your thoughts in general?
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(https://s16.postimg.org/nlxcwy5qt/17553712_10210643732202737_3252979519611452108_n.jpg) (https://postimg.org/image/gvgvniikx/)
(https://s27.postimg.org/rlmbjf8jn/17390552_10210633321502476_1317501180195818488_o.jpg) (https://postimg.org/image/ccwe5nev3/)
Here are two photos of me and my bald friends... We call it the BBB Club... Bold, Bald and Beautiful... It's all about owning it. Radical self acceptance. Wear it like you wore your original hair - and you'll command respect & authority... Especially from women... :)
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(https://s16.postimg.org/nlxcwy5qt/17553712_10210643732202737_3252979519611452108_n.jpg) (https://postimg.org/image/gvgvniikx/)
(https://s27.postimg.org/rlmbjf8jn/17390552_10210633321502476_1317501180195818488_o.jpg) (https://postimg.org/image/ccwe5nev3/)
Here are two photos of me and my bald friends... We call it the BBB Club... Bold, Bald and Beautiful... It's all about owning it. Radical self acceptance. Wear it like you wore your original hair - and you'll command respect & authority... Especially from women... :)
Nice pictures!
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Now, there's a club I would join!
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I'm reading this now. 6 years later sitting at home with a glass of wine before dinner. I'm a current member of HCFM. Been a member since 2001. I HATE IT! I also hate to be one of the guys that looses hear. Life could be easier if I just had my hair yes?
I see you sly cool men here on the board and you look so happy. I would love to be one of you happy guys with a sly head and don't need to worry anymore.
I'm 50 the 6 of May 2017
I have a wife and kids. Good friends and a job I love after being in business for myself for the last 30 years. I'm fit from my new lifestyle. Quit smoking and starting to eat right.
The only thing I need to be free and happy is to get rid of the rug!
I have my clippers charging up as we speak.
Have a great weekend and Easter
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Hi Tyler
I have been wearing a piece for 18 years now. When I was younger I suppose it was less
of an issue or would not attach negative comments in public or the workplace. I am nearly
52 years old and I feel it's time to transition out of wearing hair systems, greying hair and
more streams of negative abuse in the workplace and in public. Whilst abuse of any kind is
never justified, you aren't going to stop random people calling you for whatever reason.
I have been in a repetitive cycle of humiliation in the workplace due to my hair system.
A couple of places I have been able to live with it, either in an office on my own. Work is
tough enough without not feeling comfortable in your own skin all day for fear of being
joked about or ridiculed openly or behind my back.
I am currently in a short term contract so maybe the best time to transition out of the hair
is when this contract finishes? I am not feeling confident enough like you and I don't have
the support of a partner as a single gay man. I have also thought about going on holiday
and getting some colour to make the transition more bearable, although I am not one of these guys who can soak up the rays and have to protect a fair complexion.
Any advice or support would be most welcome
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If you're receiving so many comments, your system can't look very good. If you decide to get rid of it and go for the bald head, it will probably be a huge relief. So many of us look forward to our daily headshave and then showing it off to the world !
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With the comments, the system is not fooling anyone,so why not just go ahead and shave it? You will get a few comments, but they will likely be better than what you are getting mow. You can use a self tanner to get some color quickly before nature evens things out for you.