Sly Bald Guys Forum
New Member Section => Introductions => Topic started by: yankees12345 on April 28, 2023, 09:15:54 PM
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Hello,
My story is far from unique, but I could really use a supportive group helping me through the next couple steps in my journey toward self acceptance.
Like everyone, I had a full thick head of hair for most my life and internalized it as part of my identity. Catching covid twice really seemed to accelerate my male pattern balding and boy was I not prepared. I made the really bad decision to get a hair transplant at 32–and of course it looked awful, didn’t stop my thinning, and left me with a linear scar on the back of my head.
Now I would like to move on and accept the bald (or close shave) look. Its been a rough year and a half, trust me, total collapse in confidence and body image. I could really use a supportive community as I work through this pickle I have placed myself in. I feel very alone and isolated grappling my way through right now. I’m too embarrassed to open up to my friends, and don’t want to burden my folks.
Browsing though these forum has helped a lot. But, man, just having like some active voices out there helping me accept the sly guy look (scar and all) and work through the practical aspects of tidying up the scar and camouflaging it would be really helpful. It’s gonna be a process but by January, I want to have it concealed as much as possible and shave everything off for the new year.
Let me know if you’re out there and down to help me through a little bit?
Thanks a million.
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Hi @yankees12345 , and welcome!
I'm much older than you, but I will share a couple things from my experience. I had a full head of beautiful silver hair when I decided to shave it off one time out of curiosity. Most of my life, I lived with a terrible skin condition on my head. When I shaved my head, the dermatitis healed up in a few days. My dermatologist tried several treatments, none worked, so the only cure was to shave my head daily. After a year or so, I actually grew to love wearing a bald head. It just takes some time to get used to it.
One thing that helps when I start missing my hair is seeing so many other guys sporting completely shaved heads. Everywhere you look there are guys of all ages with smooth shaved heads, and the numbers are growing fast! So hang in there, give it some time.
If you do a search here, I remember there were several discussions about minimizing transplant scars.
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Talk to a dermatologist about the scar. The are some good treatments to reduce the scar available. As far as missing the hair, it is an initial shock, but most guys that totally shave and give it some time really like it. And some guys just accept the scar and shave.
There is also SMP. If you don't know about that, it is basically a scalp tattoo consisting of small dots that give the appearance of a short buzz/shadow. Depending on the scar, it may be enough hide it. But I suggest you go down the route of reducing the scar first.
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I didn’t think that the transplant technique that results in a big scar was still being used.
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@yankees12345 welcome to sly guys. We are a great supportive community. I know a couple guys who didn’t care for their hair transplant surgeries and just ended up shaving their heads. One is a barber and didn’t like the outcome and appearance. I think the other guy had a similar reaction but I think it was also more about his hair in general…….it was alll white and just made him look older. Both of them just ended up shaving their heads. Personally I think the shaved head looks better on both of them, it’s just their authentic look. They do have a scar but it’s not noticeable.
I think guys put too much emphasis on their hair and in reality hair loss among men is just going to happen. A buddy said it best “guys are just expected to be bald and no one cares.”
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I don't understand what you're going through but here in RI I see shaven guys all the time and even though the scar you speak of probably wouldn't be very noticeable(we're our own worse critics!). Honestly speaking, I've never noticed a scar on anyone but then again, I never snuck up on anyone while wearing my magnifying glasses. A scar is just a scar which women seem to find sexy(not too sure if all women feel that way).
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Just want to say thanks to each one of you who responded to my post. Really means a lot to me.
Think what I’m going to do first is consult a dermatologist about improving the appearance of the scar. Already have a consult set up for Monday. I’m thinking something called a vbeam laser to take out the redness, then maybe fraxel laser to smooth it out and potentially shrink it. Then SMP to help it blend with a one or zero guard buzz. Target to shave everything by mid to late the summer, and I’m gonna start buzzing lower and lower now to make it less dramatic of a shift.
I already feel a lot better about the situation. Having a plan helps. And having a bit of a community to hear me out and offer some insight really helps. Thanks again y’all. I’ll plan on updating with progress here, may even upload some pics at some point, and coming back with questions.
Feel free to offer any unsolicited advice, too, I’m all ears!
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I suggest you try razor smooth without SMP first after the scar treatments. You may discover you do not need SMP. Most guys do prefer razor smooth over a zero guard.
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Scar reductions basically surgery to Cut out the existing discard and make a new scar that is hopefully more narrow.
I have had a SMP To even out the feeling on my head and it makes me look even better when I shave after my SMP I had an accident which put a dragon 7 inch scar all across the top of my scalp and my SMP artist was able to hide it so well that even my barber couldn’t see it!
Find an SMP studio that specializes in scar camouflage. They may recommend doing your entire scalp to make it all blend but if they do make sure you go to a place that doesn’t do hard Carolines go to someplace that knows how to do a dusty hairline!
I swear by the guy who did mine and who taught me how to be an SMP artist myself. Seif Sidky, International Hair Lines Of Boca Raton Florida
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I suggest you try razor smooth without SMP first after the scar treatments. You may discover you do not need SMP. Most guys do prefer razor smooth over a zero guard.
That’s a good call, SlyBeard. Process-wise, I think this makes sense. I suppose SMP to camouflage the scar might not look good with a smooth razor, because with a smooth razor the shave is close enough that there’s no stubble. Is that basically the concern?
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Scar reductions basically surgery to Cut out the existing discard and make a new scar that is hopefully more narrow.
I have had a SMP To even out the feeling on my head and it makes me look even better when I shave after my SMP I had an accident which put a dragon 7 inch scar all across the top of my scalp and my SMP artist was able to hide it so well that even my barber couldn’t see it!
Find an SMP studio that specializes in scar camouflage. They may recommend doing your entire scalp to make it all blend but if they do make sure you go to a place that doesn’t do hard Carolines go to someplace that knows how to do a dusty hairline!
I swear by the guy who did mine and who taught me how to be an SMP artist myself. Seif Sidky, International Hair Lines Of Boca Raton Florida
Thanks Semi-Sly! That’s amazing that your barber could’nt find the 7-inch scar. Really gives me some hope!
I think I’ve found a good artist in my area. He has 4.9 stars and 180+ reviews on Google.
I think I’ll do the scar reduction treatments with the derm first. Fortunately my scar is already pretty thin, so a reduction surgery probably isn’t necessary. Just need to take the pinkness out. And of course there’s no hair growing through it, so with anything but a smooth razor its pretty visible.
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I suggest you try razor smooth without SMP first after the scar treatments. You may discover you do not need SMP. Most guys do prefer razor smooth over a zero guard.
That’s a good call, SlyBeard. Process-wise, I think this makes sense. I suppose SMP to camouflage the scar might not look good with a smooth razor, because with a smooth razor the shave is close enough that there’s no stubble. Is that basically the concern?
Actually, the SMP will look like stubble even if you shave razor smooth. The issue is, you may like the stubble free look and not want to look like you have stubble. That is why I suggested you try razor smooth before the SMP.
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Had my first appointment with the derm today.
She said the scar is very thin, smooth, and barely discolored (“a 1 out of 10 on the pinkness scale”). Granted my hair is maybe a centimeter long in the back, so she didn’t have the clearest view. But it definitely put my mind at ease a little.
To my surprise, she did not recommend any laser treatments for the scar. Instead she suggested microneedling. Of course, they sell that service, but it seems like something I could do myself. I did do a laser hair removal session on the area of the transplant that I’ve been shaving (shaved it because it looked so unnatural). I’ll keep going with those until the transplanted hair is gone—I don’t even want it hanging around at this point.
I have an appointment with the SMP guy in two weeks. I do appreciate the thought of doing a razor shave first, but I don’t know if I have the guts! I can’t grow a beard and have a pretty thin build, I’m not sure full sly would suit me (am i using that term right?? :D). Right now I’m envisioning the kind of later-career Matt Lauer look—a pretty close, but not all the way buzz. I have two weeks to think about it, though!
Feels good to be making some progress, taking action around this. I’m already feeling better. When I look at my hair in the mirror, I’m no longer fretting about how its getting thinner and looks unnatural. Instead, I’m thinking “your days of bothering me are numbered, and looking forward to seeing it gone. That’s a huge change in perspective; I think its a good sign.
I’m even gonna take it a bit shorter tonight. Not a buzz cut, but one of the longer guards with the clippers (still shorter than I would ever go before). Easing into this, but not too slowly.
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gradually take it shorter and try a shave before the SMP, but it does take a while to recognise and accept a different look. dont rush things which it takes a while to change. if you dont like sly in a few days you wont be sly, :*)).
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I think I would be concerned that the area with SMP would stand out too much if you eventually shaved. Depends on how much shadow remains after shaving.
Maybe you could try a military look haircut. It is so popular/trendy right now, and you see it everywhere. Get it short on top with the sides and back shaved. That way you will see exactly how it's going to look. You won't believe how fast it grows back.
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My business partner tattooed over his transplant scar (transplant was about 15 years ago or so), and it's cool, if you are into that kind of thing.
And like others have said, there are also scar treatments that are no surgical.
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A bit late (been a while since I logged in), but just wanted to welcome you and share my story.
It's been almost eight years (July 2015) when I had my SMP done.
I actually had surgery, but I was to remove a keloid and a cyst in the back of my head. I've been MPB since about my late 20's but I didn't shave until about 35. I did the SMP mostly because it was more cost effective to do the whole head, instead of covering the scars....however, SMP was not as advanced then as it is now....But if you do get the SMP, be sure to shop around....sometimes, the lowest price doesn't get the best results.
Again, welcome, and feel free to PM me if you have any questions!
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@yankees12345 may be you should post a picture of your scar. And what stage on the Norwood scale are you?