Sly Bald Guys Forum
Confidence and Success => How to Build Confidence => Topic started by: vsG734 on April 21, 2012, 10:34:43 PM
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I'm new to this site... I'll keep it short...
I'm thrilled to see people supporting people on here. I should have come here first instead of last.
Put simply, my experience with being bald has been the worst imaginable. I lost a girlfriend. I get picked on at work. I get stared at. I get treated differently than others in public. I believe I live in a society that doesn't want me in it.
And then I come to this site and none of the above makes sense. I figure... maybe it is how it looks on me, or how I project myself. It's been about ten years struggling with this. I have depression, anxiety, and I think it will put me in an early grave. I also have compulsive behavior, a fear of social situations, and lots of anger and rage. It's pretty difficult to deal with when I want to do other things with my life besides just cope with having no hair.
I find people on this site that refute everything I have dealt with. I find guys on here that make it look good, or at least okay. I saw a guy on here with a beautiful girl by his side. I see intelligent looking men, strong looking men... and then there's me.
What I'd like to do is post some pictures to see what you all think. I'm not running anymore. It's been a nightmare. It's my life and I only got one. What really, really disturbs me is I have met some amazing women and let them go... or they let me go. I'm not sure which.
I have a job interview Monday for a position that pays a great deal of money. Money I have never even dreamt of making. Yet I still have the same fear I've had the past 10 years. And it has gotten to be a vicious cycle. Receive comments and looks, feel down, go home and cope, eat compulsively (I'm not fat- yet), stress, lose more hair. I'm just done with this. I'm not a terrible person, and this is not me. This is not who I am.
Any feedback is welcome.
Maybe the internet is useful for something.
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First of all, welcome. I'm also going to leave a loooong reply.
It's all in your head, it's not that bad in reality. Think that the guy who stares at you has a life, has his problems, that as soon as he's past you, he'll forget you.
The whole deal about us is: We do what we like. We are happy because of it. We are not "intelligent" or how you said it, we're regular people who live their lives.
Think that it's all about you and not the others. Live the moment, and the girls will come. don't "fake a date", just be yourself. If you don't feel confident in yourself that evening, postpone it ( in the most pleasant way possible).
And, just-in-case, if these doesn't work, get some new FRIENDS, cuz I wouldn't call a person that's tossing words like that to me a friend.
I strongly hope you got my message.
P.S: are you bald ? ( I mean, do you shave your head/ have a buzzed haircut??
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Welcome to the Forum my Friend.
I would also ask the same question that Paul asked... Do you currently shave your head or are you dealing with balding?
Post up a couple of photos for us to check out.
This really is most likely all in your head. It's time to get back into the 'Game of Life". Let us help you.
My advicce for Monday... Shave your head TODAY (so you feel good with it tomorrow), put on some POWER clothes tomorrow AM, and walk into that interview with your head held high.
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Well I am going to take a different approach , yes you may be losing your hair in which case going sly is a good move and this site is about supporting guys like you . I do feel that there are other issues going on which may be to do with confidence in personal relationships etc . I have a strong Buddhist practice which helps me overcome difficulties in life .
Please feel free to pvt me iff you wish
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I think many of us have, at some point, felt what you are feeling, but alot of it is to do with what you allow yourself to feel. You say that people on here 'make it look good, or at least ok', I dont see ok, I see a bunch of good looking confident guys. The difference between us, is I have allowed myself to feel happy about it, not imposing the minority of society's misguided preconceptions upon myself, because I have learnt it's ok to feel good about being bald, because we made the best choice, and to quote a recent New York Times article, we "made the most of nothing".
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I appreciate the feedback. I uploaded my picture. I've lost a lot of my hair, and I shave it because of that. I came to this site to try and change my life for the better.
I am just being honest- I don't know if it's just me or how I look personally, but the comments I have received have never been of a positive nature. I'd give plenty of examples, but it's not worth it.
The funny thing is- I didn't know how ugly people could be on the inside. If I had my hair back, often times I have thought that I would probably just shave it off in spite anyways.
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I'm sorry to hear how this has been such a struggle for you. But from your picture, you look like a nice looking man. I don't see any reason why people at your work would give you a hard time. These people at your work sound like a bunch of jerks, and aren't worth you time anyways. Talking to a therapist might help you overcome your fear and anxierty. You cannot change your situation, but you can change how you deal with it and how you look it at. Good luck on your interview.
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welcome, good luck and hang in thar!
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I have a job interview Monday for a position that pays a great deal of money. Money I have never even dreamt of making. Yet I still have the same fear I've had the past 10 years. And it has gotten to be a vicious cycle. Receive comments and looks, feel down, go home and cope, eat compulsively (I'm not fat- yet), stress, lose more hair. I'm just done with this. I'm not a terrible person, and this is not me. This is not who I am.
Remember, and never forget, it's what's in your head, not what's on it, that the prospective employer is interested in--concentrate on what you know and can do that moves the employer forward. Dress neatly, look him in the eye, and for heaven's sake, send a thank you note for the interview--so many people forget that. First, it shows you have some manners, second, it reminds them about your interview while their thinking of who to hire.
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Good advice from saintc and I hope the interview went well.
Once you have the job perhaps consider some facial hair such as a goatee - looks professional. From your photo you have no problem with the sly look. A big smile will give you confidence and make your outlook positive. Forget the jerks at work.
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You don't look all that bad with no hair, in fact you look great. Start to feel good about yourself then everything will fall into place.
Hope you passed the interview.
God bless.
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I'll echo what was said you suit it pretty well and you head has a great shape. Personally I hated balding so shaved right from the first signs. And although I hated balding I loved being bald right from the first time I took a bic (or whatever crude device I used) to my noggin.
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dude, you look perfect as a sly guy.
F what the others say.
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dude, you look perfect as a sly guy.
F what the others say.
As always, Paul hits the nail on the head
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Welcome aboard and good luck!
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Man, where were you guys 10 years ago... where was I? Thanks for your encouragement and God Bless.
I'll let you know how the interview goes later today.
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we're waiting for it.
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Welcome to SBG.
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Welcome and good Luck! You have come to the right place I read stories on this site everyday. I am BBC and love it. I will never go back, never, never, never O:O
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You guys are looking sharp if I do say so myself. I wish I made it look as good as you.
The interview went okay... it could have been lots worse without your encouragement- honest-to-god mean it. It's like I was meant to come to this site at this time. I was seriously flipping out at about 5am this morning. I had trouble driving to it. Then it went fair. I don't find out if I got the job until later this week. That's just how it is... matter-of-fact I went no knit hat today even though it was so cold outside (only you all know how it is) and of course I got the stare down. I just don't get it. I guess the stare down irks me no matter whether it's an old man or a little girl.
To me... people without hair are still people. I'll never change. It's the same way that I'm not racist, I don't discriminate against women, special needs people, etc. The way I see it, we all have to find our purpose in life. We were all put here as a gift. But maybe that's just me.
I gotta tell you something else I don't understand... why is it the more money you make, the more d-bags you run into? Making more money makes me happier and less inclined to be a jerkwad. Again, it must just be me.
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Don't forget to send / email a thank you note to the interviewer. No amount of money makes a person truly happy but having a job you like sure makes it more fun. Your positive outlook on life comes from within you not from material / social status. You always have to enjoy the detour before you get back on the main highway of life. By the way, you look good without hair ! Thanks for sharing with us !
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hey vsg: 1st of all welcome 2 the sly fraternity. glad that ya joined us. U look like a natural. good luck with the job interview & keep us posted.
WARHAWK O0
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I just wanted to say thanks again for everyone's support. I had another interview today and I thought it went spectacular. I hope I get this one!
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You guys are looking sharp if I do say so myself. I wish I made it look as good as you.
The interview went okay... it could have been lots worse without your encouragement- honest-to-god mean it. It's like I was meant to come to this site at this time. I was seriously flipping out at about 5am this morning. I had trouble driving to it. Then it went fair. I don't find out if I got the job until later this week. That's just how it is... matter-of-fact I went no knit hat today even though it was so cold outside (only you all know how it is) and of course I got the stare down. I just don't get it. I guess the stare down irks me no matter whether it's an old man or a little girl.
To me... people without hair are still people. I'll never change. It's the same way that I'm not racist, I don't discriminate against women, special needs people, etc. The way I see it, we all have to find our purpose in life. We were all put here as a gift. But maybe that's just me.
I gotta tell you something else I don't understand... why is it the more money you make, the more d-bags you run into? Making more money makes me happier and less inclined to be a jerkwad. Again, it must just be me.
Nah its human revolution , your doing fine , never had the stare, myself