Sly Bald Guys Forum
Discussions About Being Bald => Advantages and Disadvantages to being Bald => Topic started by: PatZeeB on April 17, 2013, 05:10:18 PM
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Being the somewhat funny guy I am, I'm always making jokes. Sometimes when people point out my head, and acknowledge it with a joke. AND its not the bad/ashamed acknowledgement either, its the "I'm super cool and I know it" type of acknowledgements or jokes. I bring it out; people love it. Even got a head rub from two hot girls the other day too haha.
What are some of your guys' jokes?
When people talk about hairstyles, I jump in and be like "I think my hair's pretty cool."
Jokingly talk about getting a haircut, trim, etc.
Talk about favorite types of shampoos.
Anyone?
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As my avatar pic caption states "All Dressed Up And No Hair To Go" is a sly joke of mine. Another one "Did Anyone Else Feel Those Rain Drops?". Another "This Humidity Is Playing Havoc On My Eyebrows". Or "Not On My Head, Not On My Chest But All On My Legs".
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Them: "Wow, you cut your hair!"
Me : "Yah, all of them!"
Them: "Hey, baldy!"
Me : "Sup, hairy?"
After coming in from the rain: "How's my hair look?"
or "Wow I hate wet hair. That's your problem now :D
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I ask if anyone has a comb if I am about to be in a group photo.
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Kids at my high school are not allowed to wear hats so when I see one, I tell them "If my heads not cold, your's isn't"
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And the old stand-by "Solar panel for a sex machine".
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Let me tell you a tale about the three hairs and baldilock
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And the old stand-by "Solar panel for a sex machine".
hahajajaj good one
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GREAT THREAD!!! Keep em coming!
When kids ask what happened to my hair (most have never seen a proudly bald woman before), I come up with something like...
"I sneezed a bit hard and my I blew my hair off."
"I was driving in the car with the windows down, and the wind blew so hard all my hair flew away! That's why when Mom tells you to keep your head inside the car, you really should!"
"Ever heard your Mom say she was so frustrated she could pull her hair out? Keep her happy!"
"I got scared and my hair jumped up and ran away, but I was too slow to catch it."
"Geez I need a haircut!"
You should watch those kids' eyes get HUGE and buggy as they try to figure me out!! :@`
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It's always fun to keep the guessing isn't it?
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This very morning, I was bringing my son to school and a tired mother told me :
"I'm sick of all this rain!"
I answered :
"Yeah, my blow-dry is destroyed!"
Once, a woman asked a woman I was with :
"Your hair is so beautiful! What kind of shampoo do you use?"
She answered the unknown woman.
Then, I couldn't resist to add :
"Now, do you wish to know what kind of shampoo I use?"
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The other day I was learning chair massage techniques (known as AMMA).
I was working with a female partner - each massaging the other. When it was my turn to be massaged on the head, I told her :
"Please, don't mess up my hair."
This kind of joke is great when you wish to break the ice among people who don't know each other. People do not burst out laughing, but cannot do anything else than at least smiling, at best laughing.
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My haircut is upside down..
For my kids.. You're gonna make me pull my hair out!
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It's not having less hair, it's getting more head!
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"My brain needed some air"
"My hair just couldn't handle me"
"I have too much testosterone for my own good"
I also work in a bakery where by law we have to wear hairnets, no exceptions, so whenever someone asks me why I have to wear one with no hair I say either:
"To keep my dandruff outta your pie"
or
"My head is just too shiney and radiant for my coworkers to handle"
One I use if I'm confident the customer isn't a prude:
"Well, I don't know if you've noticed, but I've got quite a beautiful head, and we've got to keep these floors dry somehow..."
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::)"Why pay a fortune teller....I can see into my future-and yours-right here!"
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I was at a pub one night with some friends and a guy across from us was playing pool, anyways I was up at the counter paying my bill. The man who was playing pool loses the ball and goes " has anyone seen a cueball?" To which my friend replays with "yeah he's up there paying his bill" made alot of people chuckle.
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Standard joke in the office from me.
Female colleague brushing her hair and laments "I need to get my hair cut",
to which I reply in a dead pan tone "So do I.."
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I filled my head with too much knowledge and it started pushing my hair out.
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Some of these are older than I am but still use it from time to time:
"God made as many perfect heads as He could and covered the rest with hair".
I'm not bald, I'm just too tall for my hair"
this one was particularly appropriate as I got older and the loss accelerated: "I'm not losing my hair, it's just migrating south for the winter"
And finally there' the t-shirt I saw once (and mods may remove this one) that said "Bald men get more head".
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And finally there' the t-shirt I saw once (and mods may remove this one) that said "Bald men get more head".
Check out BaldBear's signature under his profile/posts....If that can stick around, so can the last part of your post.
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Since I am rather tall:
"Yeah, well plants don't grow above the tree line either..." ;D
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And the old stand-by "Solar panel for a sex machine".
Hahahaha. Love it!
Cheers!!
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"I wake up before the crack of dawn just so my hair can look this good."
"This humidity is wreaking havock to my hair."
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And the old stand-by "solar panels (http://www.shinesolar.net) for a sex machine".
Ya a real good one.. I think it is possible:)
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Finished a very trying phone call at work: "I'd tear my hair out but there's nothing to grab hold of."
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My old stand by when asked why I shave my head:
"I had a wild hair and couldn't find it"
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I always say I've air conditioning fitted
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The jokes I typically gravitate toward:
"Well, I'm not losing hair, I'm gaining scalp!"
Or, "I'm not actually losing hair, it's just moving from my head down onto my face."
And there's the classic: "Hey, most of us lose it someday. Better to look like Bruce Willis than Donald Trump."
No one seems to disagree with that last one. Haha!