Sly Bald Guys Forum
New Member Section => Introductions => Topic started by: rfn on September 08, 2011, 01:10:31 PM
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Hi Guys
I came across this site while trying to come to terms with my hairloss. I'm turning 23 in a week's time, and based on the rate that I'm going at now, it looks like I'll have a power-donut by the time I hit 26 or 27. I've given a lot of thought to shaving everything off, but I'm pretty insecure over the shape of my skull.
I have two flat spots at the back of my skull and a substantial dent at the left of my skull, towards the back. I'd say the dent is about 5cm long, 1.5cm wide and 0.5cm deep. I'm really worried that I'll look like a circus freak if I shave my head. I've even considered trying to find some form of surgery to patch up the dent.
Apart from shaving, I see two other options; 1.) try and salvage what I have left, and 2.) start wearing a hat - permanently. I'm pretty sick of trying to stick with option 1, since I spend hours trying to make the hair that I have left look decent, and I'm never really happy with the way it looks.
I've mentioned shaving to two people, and neither of them thought that it would suit me. I'm not sure if I'll be able to live with criticism, since I'm already pretty stressed out over going bald. I'm not skinny, but I could probably buff up a bit to do more justice to the sly look.
I've attached a photo of the top of my noggin.
Any thoughts?
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Apart from shaving, I see two other options; 1.) try and salvage what I have left, and 2.) start wearing a hat - permanently. I'm pretty sick of trying to stick with option 1, since I spend hours trying to make the hair that I have left look decent, and I'm never really happy with the way it looks.
Neither of these is a viable option. I say shave it and see what it looks like. If you're uncomfortable with this perceived "dent" then let some hair grow back and keep it buzzed as short as you can while still concealing the problem area.
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Hey rfn :)
I'm probably not the best guy to ask because I think even MPB looks better than a full head of hair, but I agree with the Razor dude. Shave it and see. At the very very worst, if you totally hate it, the hair will grow back and then you can check out other options. I dont suffer with MPB so I dont know for sure, but I'd imagine shaving it off would give you a whole new type of confidence.
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The photo would seem to indicate mpb--and as you'll see on this site it's not the end of the world as you know it. Head shape is one of the two or three most often mentioned fears of guys like you who come here--ranking right of there with losing hair in the first place. I can't remember any who having shaved the dying mop off could be considered to have a weird shaped head.
You look like you're keeping your hair fairly long, 1"+. Try buzzing down, at least a #4. Then work into it. Believe me and the other brothers here, life continues and continues very well as a "sly" guy. And look around you, there are more and more guys, guys your age too, who are going sly and getting ahead of mpb. You can't safely change going bald, but you can get ahead of the issue and get on with living. You can take that promise to the bank.
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Not exactly a head shape issue but I have red marks all down the side of my head. When I get hot they tend to glow like they are radioacive. I've even changed my profile pic to show you. Guess what. Don't give damn. Very few people mention them. If they do I just say 'really, they werent there this morning!!'. The confidence I get from being SLY makes me far less image concious because I know I look far better bald than balding. Shave it, look in the mirror and if you like it you win, sod anyone else!
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Agree with saint, start at something like a 4 and work your way down. I started losing my hair when I was 19 and I was miserable for a long time. I can't tell you how great it feels though when you finally take the plunge and shave it off. Huge weight off your shoulders. Few people have the perfect headshape. Myself, I have more than a few moles on my scalp, not to mention I'm pale and skinny. But I feel good about myself and I'm confident and that is what makes the difference. Give it a go!
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Just do it!!! O0
Chances are you will like it...99.9999999999999999999999999999999%
Welcome to SBGs!!! 8)
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I'm short (about 5' 3") and skinny (115 lbs on a good day). Is that the right body structure for this look? Yes. Anybody can pull it off as long as the person is comfortable with their self.
As far as the dents in your head.... Who cares ??? It adds character! The back part of my head has a flat spot and I have a nice 3" scar on the top toward the front. I also have about 3 red spots in various places. None of it bothers me.
Trust us, stop stressing about it because you have a long time to live with it. Just do something that makes you feel good and move on. If you shave it, you'll probably be used to it in about a week and love it. It took me a good week to calm down and stop thinking about it so much. I liked the look from the beginning and I love the way it feels not having hair and not having to worry about what it looks like.
Welcome to the group. Hopefully we can help you become comfortable with the idea of shaving it. The other options (medication, transplants, wigs) really aren't great options.
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Take Saintc's advise and buzz down to see how you like it. Once you cut it short, go shorter in steps to see how it looks. You'll probably reach a point where you'll want to see what you look like completely shaved. If you don't like it, you can let your hair grow back.
A couple other things: 1) don't worry about the shape of your head, it will be fine, 2) it's impossible to imagine accurately what you'll look like bald so your friends' advice isn't really helpful in this matter, 3) if you decide to shave your head, you'll probably love the look and feel.
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My hair is really dark when its short. I get bbs head shave and the follicles show through. I also have a scar where my sister smashed a tonka truck into my head when I was three years old. I shave it anyway. Do what feels comfortable for you. I don't suffer for MPB myself for which I am greatfull. However I would just shave my head if I did. It looks better than the comb over or having the hair on the sides imho. Plus I convey a no nonsense attitude when my head is shaved.
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Gentlemen, thank you for your responses and your support.
It looks like very few people have perfect heads, and that the rest of us all struggle with insecurities at some stage. I've decided to try and get away from work early and pay a visit to the barber... I don't think I'll let him take everything off, but I'd like to see what it looks like a bit shorter. Perhaps I'm just overreacting over the shape of my skull.
Cheers,
rfn
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my sister smashed a tonka truck into my head
Ouch
It looks like very few people have perfect heads, and that the rest of us all struggle with insecurities at some stage
Nobody has a perfect anything, because perfection lies in other people's minds, and for something to be perfect, 100% of the people on the planet would have to love the same thing, and thats never going to happen.
There's a saying here, and probably everywhere - "sell the sizzle, not the sausage". Ie, the sausage itself isnt so important, but how you market it and show it off to the world is :D
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Take Saintc's advise and buzz down to see how you like it. Once you cut it short, go shorter in steps to see how it looks. You'll probably reach a point where you'll want to see what you look like completely shaved. If you don't like it, you can let your hair grow back.
I don't have MPB, but a few years ago a buddy at work challenged me to go short with my hair. Had the barber do it. It was probably a #4 on top. After a few $$ of paying him every few weeks I got clippers and did it myself. Every few months I changed a notch, #3, #2 ... then for summer tried a #1. Wow, I liked it. On a whim I took off the guard and just buzzed it down. Even nicer. Wife is still getting used to the nearly bald. She said she can see my brains!
I think the buzzed, no guard, looks really sharp! One of these days I'm going to shave it down. My wife's fear is that I'm going to like it and keep it shaved. From what I hear here on SBG, I will like it and will keep it shaved!
Go of it buddy.
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I'd like to see what it looks like a bit shorter.
I would bet you're going to like not only the look but the feel. It could well be that you'll return to the barber in a short time for a shorter cut--it has happened before ;).
Perhaps I'm just overreacting over the shape of my skull.
Yup, but there are a lot of guys who have done the same thing so it's not a big bump in the road for you.
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I went to the barbershop and got a much shorter cut. The back of my head isn't quite as bad as I thought, so I might go a little bit shorter next time (although I can't see myself going completely sly any time soon). It's definitely easier to maintain and it looks much better than it did before.
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It looks like very few people have perfect heads
and all the rest are covered with hair!
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I went to the barbershop and got a much shorter cut. The back of my head isn't quite as bad as I thought, so I might go a little bit shorter next time (although I can't see myself going completely sly any time soon). It's definitely easier to maintain and it looks much better than it did before.
We all worry about the shapes of our heads only to find out that they're fine. My advice is to go shorter until you find the length you like the most. I'll warn you though that once you get close to being completely sly, curiosity will drive you to try it. If you don't like it, you can go back to the look you liked best pretty quickly.
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Hi Gentlemen
I'm back, and I've finally gotten around to uploading a profile picture. My balding dome is currently buzzed to a six on top and a two on the sides. I like it, and I would've liked to go shorter, but that darned dent (attached) is still messing with my head (pun intended). I really don't want to look like a freak, but like someone told me, it's there now and it's going to be there if my hair is gone, so I just have to make peace with it.
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Go for it - -you may like it - - -and remember - -it grows back if you do not like it - - - -
Most of us do not have that choice - - - -
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Looks good so far. You can try shorter next time to see how you like it. I personally couldn't drag it out. I decided the hair situation wasn't looking good so I picked a day and shaved it off without telling anyone. Then I joined this site to share my positive feeling Then the shock/positive reactions started rolling in as I saw people and acted like there was nothing different about me.
Do whatever makes you feel good about yourself and don't let your hair get you down. I really think you're going to look good if you shave it. You will just have to get used to it.
Keep us posted.
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EVERYONE that tries the 30 day rule comes out of it wondering why they didn't shave their head sooner. You won't be any different then the rest. Shave it for 30 days straight.
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You could be surprised--I take it the darker "line" is the indentation that worries you. Without the hair to highlight the issue, it won't be noticable unless they're right up on you, and how many people are that close to you looking at the side of your head anyway?
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Once you decide to shave everything off, the dent, if it really is that noticeable, will give your head its uniqueness and character. Good luck.
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You can have a dermatologist inject under the skin a product called Juvaderm, basically a facial filler used to fill in laugh lines etc. It lasts for about year then has to be done again. That would "erase" the dent by filling in the skin and plumping it up over the skull dent.
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I would encourage you to go all the way. At least give it a try and even if you don't like it at first stick with it and shave it off again....remember that you are in control and you can always let it grow back
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Hi rfn,
Welcome to Sly Bald Guys. You have gotten lots of good advice here.
I would recommend doing so in stages. Once You go sly. GIve the look 30 days. If You don't like it, it will grow back to little lionger length that You are comfortable with.
Good luck to You in your decision.
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Gentlemen, thank for all your support. This really is an awesome forum.
@kalbo, I've never heard about Juvaderm before. I've researched more permanent alternatives, but they are incredibly expensive.
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Do check out Juvaderm because it might be an easy and inexpensive solution. Just find a doctor with the experience to inject it under the skin correctly. Maybe buzz down to a no. 1 before you see the doctor so he/she can understand your goal in filling up the "dent" with the haircut as if that is your normal haircut. The doctor might otherwise just say to grow longer hair.