Sly Bald Guys Forum
Discussions About Being Bald => Bald Stories => Topic started by: happyharry on December 04, 2006, 05:38:21 PM
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Fellow baldies,
I'm between the devil and the deep blue sea (nice idiom, by the way).
As somebody who swears by the bald lifestyle, and as somebody who's a moderator
for a bald related forum, I should be a beacon of light for other bald people and for those
who are still undecided on whether or not to go bald.
But I met a woman....
Well, I met a woman, and I really love her, and that's nice and great and all. But...
...she prefers me with hair! And the last time we were together (we live several thousand miles
apart) I did something unspeakable: I let my hair grow back...for her.
Oh, I know, I know, it's a stigma and a great shame for a bald guy (and a moderator for a bald forum, let's not forget about that).
And it's hard on me. And as I was lying there in bed during those long lonely nights, and as my hand moved up to my head and found no smooth and shiny surfaces, I was overcome by a deep sorrow...and I picked up my harmonica and played the Bald Man Blues.
And now I'm in a terrible dilemma: do I abjure the bald lifestyle, or do I stand firm, stand by my principles?
Ah, women have us wrapped around their fingers. They say it's a men's world, but deep down, us men know better - it's a women's world. No man could ever say no to a woman, not if he really loved her.
And I do love her.
Anyway, I'm back in Greece now, and I did shave again (I just hope she doesn't find out ::)). And it feels great being bald again.
But the question remains: do I forsake my baldness for the sake of love?
What would you do? (Not that I would listen to you, I'd make my own decision ;D)
Would you give up the bald lifestyle for the love of a woman? And I'm not saying she's going to
break up with me if I stay bald. It's just that she likes me much more with hair. And I want to make her
happy, of course. So, it's a great dilemma.
There's much talk here in this forum about the advantages of being bald, about how women find bald men sexy. But what happens if you find yourself in a situation such as mine, where being bald becomes a disadvantage rather than an advantage, when it becomes a liability?
I'm looking forward to your comments. And please be meek. After all, there are extenuating circumstances - love made me do it.
So, what's your verdict?
(https://www.slybaldguys.com/smf/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fimages.dpchallenge.com%2Fimages_portfolio%2F30049%2Forig%2F267550.jpg&hash=e4ae1497744a54468d2964a21e2307646629d9d0)
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A complex issue to be sure. My wife would rather I have hair, but I choose not too. My happiness bald is much greater than her happiness with my hair, if you know what I mean. I've let it grow back a few times (in the past 8 or so years). She says she likes hair better, but in our day to day relationship, it really doesn't make any difference.
Besides that, my hairline is a couple feet farther south than what it used to be!
Maybe you could explain to her that you are much happier and confident as a bald man. Show her some of the posts on here. Plead your case. Good luck!
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I know I made this comment on the HeadBlade MySpace page, not sure if I did here though. My wife dyed her hair a nice red color, I'm a sucker for redheads. I made the comment to her that I liked the particular color she had chosen. Her response was that if I would grow my hair back she would keep it that color. Without hesitating I said "No way"
Take that as you will. I call it a compromise. When it comes down to it though, I'm not staying with my wife because of her hair color. So I would venture to say that she is not staying with me because of my "hair" choice.
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i feel like if you love each other, then hair color, or lack of hair is unimportant. just for the record: my wife helped me shave mine the first time and loves it now. which is a good thing, because my self confidence has never been better. i don't plan on ever going back to having hair. besides if i was to ever end up single again i know "BALD WORKS FOR ME". NEED I SAY MORE?
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Well....I know my wife is more attracted to men with hair. It's obvious in terms of how she comments about certain individuals. We have an awesome God Blessed marriage, so I am no fear, but, I am completely confident that if I had a full mane she would be alot more stoked than she is now...but, as my massage therapist said at lunch "Dude you are BALD embodied. No one would know you if you had hair.....you would just not look like YOU!"
Thats a tough issue you have HH because I have been blessed to have the love of two special women in my life, one my first wife who died of cancer, and my wife now. I can say however, that I have also been fortunate that both accepted me for who I am/was...and well, who I am now...and have been for 7 years...is bald headed Me.
Hey, you could always use the bait and switch tactic: grow hair, get married to her, and then shave it. .....nah, that sounds stupid...never mind. ha ha
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 :-[ :-[ :-[ :Dear Happyharry: if she really loves you, she will want you to be happy with your own self-image. After all, she fell in love with you when you did not have hair. If you bend to her wishes for YOUR appearance, you will set a precedent for uxoriousness that will permanently shape your relationship. My father's family are all Greeks; I have never heard of a Greek husband who acknowledged or buckled to his wife's preferences. Quite the opposite. I remember that my grandfather told my grandmother how she was supposed to dress when they went out. She would not have presumed to direct him. Perhaps times have changed or your lady-love is not Greek. It's a ticklish dilemma. If growing hair makes you really unhappy but you do it anyway to please her, won't that compromise your integrity and ultimately cause you to resent her? I hope you can get her to appreciate your preference for baldness; if you can't, perhaps she's the wrong one. Best of luck, and please let us how how you decide. Professor Melon
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:( Kyrios Happyharry: One further thought. You write, "I'm back in Greece and I shaved again (I just hope she doesn't find out)." Are you affraid of her? Do you have to get away from her to be who you are and appear as you will? Being some one you're not for the sake of acceptance is a false position. If you have to play a role in order to maintain a relationship, isn't that disingenuous? Real love depends on thorough mutual acceptance, no dissembling involved. Consider the long-term consequenses if you found a relationship on such a basis. Of course, if you really do want to regrow your hair, then the problem is solved. Some introspection needed here. Good Luck, Prof. Melon
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Prof,
thanks for your elaboration of the subject at hand. What you say is true and valid.
Bending to her wishes (or at least to this particular one) would definitely violate my
integrity. And mental scars as these are much worse than physical ones.
However, I wasn't planning on growing my hair back (I just did that during the two weeks we were
together, just to humour her). I am who I am, and I'm a result of my choices (and those horrible Greek genes). And I'm not going to change what I hold dearly for anyone. However (here we go again), since all this happened quite recently I'm kind of still stuck inside the problem, haven't been able to get out of it yet and clear my head.
And it'll take perhaps another week or two to clear my head and put my foot down firmly.
As far as the Greeks are concerned (what do you know! I didn't know you had Greek ancestry :)):
What you're referring to were the manifestations of an older generation. This was ages ago (as far as I'm concerned), and Greek women today are the ones wearing the trousers. They can be very difficult, Greek women. And many of them have quite a temper. So beware...
By the way, the woman I was referring to isn't Greek.
Oh, I see you posted another reply. Well, it seems now that you all took my posting way too seriously.
Perhaps I should have added more smileys and emoticons in certain places in order to show that I was being
humorous at some points (such as in "I hope she doesn't find out). Of course, I do not fear her. That's ridiculous.
It's just that when you're at the beginning of a relationship you have a tendency to put too much attention on certain things, to exaggerate certain things, so to speak. That's all.
Another thing I wanted to stress through my post was the fact that there can be downsides to being bald. However, I think the advantages outweigh them by far.
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I'm gonna be honest, I don't see a downside here. If she really loves you, it's for who you are as a person not solely your physical appearance.
Think about marriages that last 50-60 years or longer, do you think those are based on appearances? No way(not unless they have the miracle potion that stops aging), they are based on being best friends who you can share anything with without fear of negative repercussion.
Btw on another tangent, I'm not married, but as a christian it upsets me to see how many people think divorce is so readily an option. A lot of people nowadays sadly don't think marriage through because they figure if we grow apart, i'll just divorce them and try again. This doesn't go for every couple, but it happens way too often in today's society. Marriage is a sacred bond between two people not just a contract you can void at any time.
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Aye, marriages are far too flimsy these days. They're not as solid as they used to be.
And that worries me, for families are the most basic social unit. And the strength and
stability of that unit also determines whether children will do well growing up and later in
life. If a marriage breaks apart it's usually the children who are most adversely affected.
But to return to the subject at hand, I agree, she doesn't love me for my looks. And we'll be together
no matter what my decision will be on that subject. I just wished she was one of those women who
find bald men sexy... :)
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Ah, the perfect woman. Aren't those only available at your area toy stores in a nice plastic box? ;D
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Ah, the perfect woman. Aren't those only available at your area toy stores in a nice plastic box? ;D
I always tell my single buddies (whom I consider picky when it comes to choosing a woman) "there's no such thing as a perfect woman, only a women that is perfect for you."
Back to Harry's post:
I agree that it can be hard to make decisions that you are passionate about when someone you love disagrees with your decision. Though, as most negotiation books say "no is just the first point of negotiation." Meaning, you can usually persuade your loved one to see you point of view, or atleast concede to your decision, if you present the information to them that shows it's in their best interest to go with what you would like to do.
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Back to Harry's post:
I agree that it can be hard to make decisions that you are passionate about when someone you love disagrees with your decision.Â
I understand. My parents weren't thrilled when I told them the bald look was going to be permanent. Nor when I said I was growing a beard with it. My mom hates facial hair and at times she thinks she will persuade me to relent(not happening anymore). I love the look and feel of being bald as it opens up my smile and my great bluish eyes. And the way I figure it, my mom dyes her hair not to be completely gray(her family has that problem) and everybody knows and that amuses me. Plus my dad nor mom hasn't changed their hairstyle since I was little. They are very set in their ways and while it would be nice if they changed I don't really worry about their opinion on this matter.
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Harry,
Do you think it would be possible that the look may grow on her after some time? Would that be a possibility for her at all?
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the guy that taught me to fight bulls signed his autograph with, "BE YOURSELF, THE BEST YOU CAN." I think that fits for harry as well as david. hell we can all learn from that.
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Harry,
Do you think it would be possible that the look may grow on her after some time? Would that be a possibility for her at all?
Hm, I don't think that's going to happen. She thinks I look great with the bald look (told me so herself).
I think it's more of a "I want to have hair to stroke or grab and pull during certain moments..." thing, if you know what I mean. ::)
However, I'm not going to let my hair grow back, no way. I must have been temporarily insane from love to even vaguely consider such a thing. Ah, love can do that to you...
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;D ;D What good news, Happyharry! Whew, for a day or so I moped around, thinking we were going to lose our moderator. Yours was the first post I read today, so you've set up the day to be happy. If the Canadian lass is the right one, she'll come to love your slick pate--and find something else (ears ?) to hold onto during certain moments. And all will be well. It's a bit early, but here goes, anyway [forgive my transcription of the Cyrillic], Kala Christoyanou!
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Ha ha, thanks, Professor. :D
by the way, you almost got it right - it's "kala Christooyenna"
And in Greek (I hope the site will display the Greek characters): Καλά Χριστούγεννα
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Basically, it's not about whether or not I'm going to stay bald and whether or not I'll bend to her
wishes. It's about love, and wanting to please your partner (which is a natural sentiment between lovers).
Of course I'd like to please her. But if it's about something that's very important to me (such as my baldness), then of course I won't bent to anybodies wishes and I'll try to figure something out that would please all parties involved, such as a compromise. I'll have to have a serious talk with her, making sure she understands and accepts my point of view - and making sure she'll be happy with the outcome.
So, don't worry folks, HappyHarry will remain bald, bold and beautiful...
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Great news Harry!!! I'm glad you're sticking to your guns and not giving in.
At this point in my life, bald is a huge part of who I am. Anyone who doesn't want to accept it can keep on walkin.
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good for you harry. my son wanted me to grow my hair back for awhile. ( he will be 6 in jan.) but i think he is over it. not really the same as your situation, but i kinda know how you feel. he cried and said he wouldn't talk to me until i grew it out. that only lasted a couple days and he decided it was ok. so everyone is happy with it now. people have said they don't even remember me with hair, it is funny really.
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Thanks for your kind words, guys! :)
Yeah, I won't give up my baldness. But that doesn't mean that it can't be tough being bald sometimes.
Paul, you mentioned your son. See, what I mean? It's tough if someone who loves you, and whom you love, wants you to change something about yourself that you hold dearly.
It's a precarious situation, and it can put you in doubt sometimes.
But if you prevail in the end, everything's fine, and once more, the sun sets on your bald pate as you ride towards the horizon...
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it got so bad, he actually told me he wouldn't love me if i didn't have a hat on. keep in mind he had just turned 5 but it still made me think if i had screwed up. but he is cool now. i think if she loves you she will understand how important this is to you. if she can't deal with it for some reason, then maybe you should come to louisiana and we can find you a cajun woman. they seem to love bald heads. hahaha
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This whole thing reminds me of a Sienfeld episode where Elaine dates a swimmer with a bald head but sees a picture of him with hair. She asks him to grow it back, so he does. As its growing in, he realizes that he is bald and gets depressed.
I'm sure I was going somewhere with this but I just blanked out. So YEAH!
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Happy Harry we salute your boldness.
Many a man have been seduced by a temptress promising tantilizing delights. But you have stood strong and rejected the song of the sirens.
Be proud!
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We also salute your baldness
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Happy Harry we salute your boldness.
Many a man have been seduced by a temptress promising tantilizing delights. But you have stood strong and rejected the song of the sirens.
Be proud!
Aye, I have stood strong, but will it do me any good? That remains to be seen.... ;D
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Happy Harry we salute your boldness.
Many a man have been seduced by a temptress promising tantilizing delights. But you have stood strong and rejected the song of the sirens.
Be proud!
Aye, I have stood strong, but will it do me any good? That remains to be seen.... ;D
It's been a little while Harry, how goes it with the lady friend?
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We're doing great. There's just that huge thing between us - it's called the Atlantic ocean.
But other than that, things are great. Thanks.
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We're doing great. There's just that huge thing between us - it's called the Atlantic ocean.
But other than that, things are great. Thanks.
Yeah that distance thing sucks
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I live with my girlfriend and she wants my hair back, and she'll never see it lnoger than a few centimeters
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well I must reply to this post as I signed up not to long ago close to 3 months ago.. and I actually left my hair grow back afer an incident..
My wife as always told me she likes me better with hair.. I kept asking her.. should I let it grow. she always replied back by saying ... I love you no matter what other may say, think, or judge you.. I maried you for the man you are .. and if shaving your head is what makes you feel happy or better.. then do it..
I've been shaving for 8 years now.. but with a few times that I let it grow back.. but it doesn't last long..
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My wife and I have been married for just over 25 yrs now, been together about 27 as we met as friends and then became lovers. I had a full head of hair and beard when she met me and so on and at the time I did a lot of UC work and needed to fit in with the eliment that I was after.
I have always loved her long hair, but when she asked about cutting it shorter, I whole heart agreed and said, "It is your head and you have to feel your best" and so I have never stated your hair I think looks crappy since you don't comment that way about a woman's weight or hair. She has stated that she does not like the goatee I had, for obvious reasons of rash etc... ::) So I have kept my face clean and she keeps me very happy :@`
But when I shaved my head, she did state that she don't like it so well... hence the wide brimmed summer hat picture that she didn't think I would let her take and me post all over the internet with :*)) small price to pay for my choice of being happy with my Sly look. I have to be the one happy with me, and what feels good to me in my choice. And every day when I get up, I make that choice to shave my head, face and body, as I do every night as well.
Am I obsessed with smoothness and the Total Sly Bald Guy look.... damm straight I am, and its my choice not hers.
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I live with my girlfriend and she wants my hair back, and she'll never see it lnoger than a few centimeters
:x! What do you mean centimeters? And a few of them at that!! :x!
--------------------- <--That line is three centimeters long (A Few)
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I live with my girlfriend and she wants my hair back, and she'll never see it lnoger than a few centimeters
:x! What do you mean centimeters? And a few of them at that!! :x!
--------------------- <--That line is three centimeters long (A Few)
Think he meant millimeters